“Annyeong haseyo, Kim Taeyeon imnida.”

“Annyeong haseyo, G-Dragon imnida.”

Both of us sat in front of dozens of reporters, right under the spotlight, near any judges from people, fan or not. Today was the day for both of us come to the public, pay their time as they wait for the truth of us. Even if we couldn’t give the real truth, I mean with the mediaplay here and there, but still they deserve the right to know about the real condition. About my condition, SNSD, G-Dragon, and Big Bang. So even if I’m not ready to facing their up, I have to. If it is not now, maybe I won’t do it forever. To think about the hurt inside sone’s heart because of me, made me suddenly emotional. But yeah, people do mistake and I’m just a human like them. I believe one day they would let it pass.

Both of me and Jiyong already read the bunch of questions that had been filtered by our staffs. Every nonsense questions were not allowed to be asked and even if they do ask that question we have any right to decline to answer it. Our staff who took a role as the moderator would help us to keep focus on the point of our press conference today. I knew, they already assumed where would the conference going on later by seeing the two of us sat comfortably right now. But to pay for their curiousity about more details, they have to sit and wait and of course follow the rules.

And the question and answer session began.

“So, are you really a couple, G-Dragon-ssi, Taeyeon-ssi? You come all the way here together, we saw that before.”

“We already read the questions on the list, so to answer to this question will follow by the answer to another questions too. Please keep remind yourself, we won’t answer the same question twice.”

Jiyong looked at me and I nodded, I let him took the control.

“Before come to the GD-Taeyeon’s session, I’ll come with my own condition first.” I said with a shaking voice. “I, Kim Taeyeon, from now on won’t longer be either a leader or part of SNSD. I still have years uphead under SM, but I won’t be part of SNSD anymore. After this official statement from my mouth, the girls will continue as SNSD with seven members only. So, I’m in deep sorry for my decision and please do support the girls and me peacefully. We do respect the comments, both good and bad, but give SNSD one more chance to keep up and prove to the world that SNSD is indeed worthy. Thank you.”

The chaos begin right that time and I could feel the tense inside the room where the press conference held. But I didn’t have much choices so I kept my head up and facing them like I was bulletproof. Question after question came to me and they seemed totally forgot about GD-Taeyeon’s thing they asked at the first place. Well, the announcement I made just before not cheaper than that GD-Taeyeon’s thing by the way. It was enough to pull out their concern for me and SNSD that I mentioned before.

“Back to the main topic for today, Kwon Jiyong-ssi will answer it for us.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “So, the answer for that question is yes. Yes, we are a couple. Then the question follows are how and since when, right? Well, to tell you we never met is a total lie, the real meeting between us was on the late 2015. We came closer as friend at the beginning of 2016 when Bigbang busy about our comeback. She did support me and the thing between us sparks from the friendship into something romantic. We don’t have an official date for our relationship, but sure as I remember we’ve been closer since late April or beginning May 2016. Bigbang was currently on the MADE tour that time and we met between my tight schedule.”

Truth. The issue about me and him broke after MAMA 2015 when he caught imitating me during the show, but we never met as friend after that. He said that we came closer on May, that also true. At the beginning of that month we did consume the night together. And we met again at the beginning of June, Tiffany’s mini album celebration yes. That night also the first night we knew the possibility of my pregnancy. So he made it less lying... I’m glad.

“So, it’s been only two months, right?”

“Yes, if you count from the time we’ve been close, it’s indeed two months more or less.” He confidently answered.

“About the rumor from the past year, you two seems close more than just friend that time. Is Bigbang and SNSD members are close to each other?”

“Past year...” Jiyong seemed recalling his memory. “I don’t really know about that but we’re just get closer these recent time. About my member and SNSD, well I don’t have any right to say anything about that.”

“Okay, then about the rumor you’ve been living under the same roof, please give us an explanation about it.” That reporter insisted, half eyes from the people at that room look at him. “We have an evidence, the photos were leaked. You know about it right?”

He chukcled. “How could I don’t know that... it bombarded my SNS and life.” The reporters were squinted their eyes, couldn’t take any jokes for a moment.

“About that part.. yes, we’ve been living together under the same roof since like 2 weeks ago.” He sighed then nodded to the people. Sent them a heartbreak. “I’d asked Taeyeon to move in and decided to use one of my apartment because the one I lived in before seems so popular now, I’m just thinking straight about her safety and also.. because it’s near from YG building so it gives me a better access.”

“To say that you’ve been living in the same house together, isn’t that mean you both are commiting to the next level about your relationship without being married?”

“Kwon Jiyong-ssi, isn’t it not appropriate for you both as you are an idol who’ve been idolized for many people in this country and also worldwide. I mean.. that’s a bad example for the youth, we’re still living in asia not america, no offense.”

Both of us stared at each others while our mouth kept silent. People were gone mad because the truth that we revealed, they made noises and my body started shaking. Jiyong looked at me in worry but I shook my head, said I’m all okay. He nodded and turned his head to the audience who were waiting for us again. I followed his act and brave myself to put my eyes on them.

“So what kind of relationship you are committing now exactly? There’s a rumor about engangement and even marriage.”

“That’s right... is there any plan about enggangement or marriage? You’vee been living together though..”

“Please, Kwon Jiyong-ssi, Kim Taeyeon-ssi, we need your words about this.”

“We have no right to lie to our fans and people.” Jiyong said calmly. “So.. I don’t want any misunderstanding in the future between all of us, also I don’t want any bad rumor from people about us, especially for Taeyeon. I don’t want people to badmouthing her, makes a bad comment, judging her, threaten her or do any other bad things to her. That’s because she is a woman, she is a mother to be, and she is a wife. My wife.” He finally made it.

“Yes, if you’re asking about our relationship now.. we are officially husband and wife.” He said clearly, with no fear or worry.

People gasped and jumped, again got a shock by the truth we just revealed. The chaos came to my eyes and the noise about this and that lingered on my ear. But I tried to feel nothing, I’ve been trying to pretend like didn’t feel anything the whole two weeks after our wedding. One of the reason why I took too much time after wedding before come to this stage was this. I was prepared myself to finally be numb about any judges they throw on me once the know the truth.

“Is that true? Kim Taeyeon-ssi, please make a word about it.”

“Yes, we need your opinion too!”

I cleared my throat and nodded while smiling. “That’s true, we are husband and wife now. Two weeks already from our secret wedding. The reason why I moved in, why we’re living under the same roof together now, that’s because we’re already a husband and wife. Don’t every married people living under the same roof?” I chukled nervously.

I saw them still waiting for the next words. So, I let a sigh and tried to show my sincerity. “We do apologize for the news and for the decision we made to not to tell anybody about the wedding before. That’s my idea exactly to make it simpler and hideneous.”

“Is it a gun shoot weeding or something?” a reporter directly asked. I started trembling again by that question. I did expect that kind of question but I still couldn’t manage to react.

“Yes, Kwon Jiyong-ssi told us that you’re a mother to be? Are you really pregnant, Kim Taeyeon-ssi?”

Jiyong look at me, he knew that question didn’t allowed to answer. Deep inside myself I want to answer it, and Jiyong seemed know how to read my mind. He stared at me and grabbed my hand under the table, he kept my hand inside his finger and nodded.

“I’m pregnant. Ten weeks already now. So that’s mean when the wedding held, I’m on my eight weeks or so. To call it a gun shoot wedding sound a bit wrong because from the very first start I saw him, I put my faith on whatever he said, his thought, like I don’t know myself anymore. The only matter was him, that’s why I took it serious even without any longer period of dating.”

He stared at me like he don’t know who’s the person beside him anymore. I didn’t tell lie, since the very start I’m meeting him again when I found out the pregnancy of mine at his apartment, I loaded all of the matters about it on him. Not because I want him to take a responsibility about it but because I couldn’t think about it by myself, even I couldn’t think about my own self that time. Everything was so overwhelming, I was on top of my career, as SNSD and Taeyeon itself, everything went smooth under my control, or I thought it so. So when the reality hit me hard, I fell from the heaven to the earth’s core. Turn into a pieces then ashes then gone. All I thought was me, myself, nothing else when he put all his concern to the baby and also me as a person. So, it’s true to say that I put my faith on him since the very first start. It must be sounded to delusional to him, he only didn’t know the truth.

“It’s such a big mistake, an ashamefull thing, but the baby is innocent and for us it’s also a bless. So, put your blame, judges, or hurtfull words on me and me only.” I got up and bowed down several times to every corner of the room.

Jiyong followed me but not to bowed his head down, he held my waist and turn me around to face him. He stared at me and shook his head in hurtfull expression. Then he helped me sat again with a little bit force.

“Like what Taeyeon said, the baby is a bless and innocent. To put all you anger and hatred on Taeyeon are not right for this moment because she is a woman, she’s my wife and soon to be the mother of my child. As her friend, her partner, her husband, I’ll take all the blames and let her live in peace so none of people or thing could hurt her.”

My eyes got teary. I didn’t know it was because of the response from the people after we told them the truth or maybe because of Jiyong’s words just now.

= = =

“I want to go to Europe.”

“Europe?”

I nodded. “London to be exact.”

I wanted a break, time to let the weighed lifted out from my shoulder, time to think, time to feel free, time to be alone, time to take away myself from all the matters, time to heal. I’m on the eleventh weeks of pregnancy right now, I could see the bump out of my flat stomach clearer. With Jiyong, I met the doctor two days ago to confirmed that I’m all okay and so does the baby. The doctor did allowed us to travel only with some conditions to make sure everything alright with both of me and the baby. We already discussed it like last week, the idea to run away came up after I remember that we not yet used the ‘honeymoon’ thing as an excuse. Isn’t it weird too for public to know we passed our beginning of household life without any honeymoon