I agree to do a maternity shoot and for that I come to SM biulding this morning. Together with Jiyong, who assure me he won’t be late to come to YG by stopping me first at SM, we enter the office building. Kwon Jiyong in SM building is not the first time, but still it is weird and great at the same time. Jiyong give me a peck on the lip before running away. Jiyong need to run to YG after this because tomorrow will be a big day for him and his group. Yes, after a long waited time, Big Bang finally will release their full album this year. They about to make two MVs for youtube. This album will contain three new songs that for sure will clean up all the chart in this country. Tomorrow is the final meeting. All the song that will be included in the album, the album’s title, the MV’s concept, and everything.

“Um, Taeyeon?” Jiyong call my name when he is half way to the big front door. “In case you forget, I said yes. We’re gonna do the photoshoot on your way.” He winks and go.

My brain fly away to the last night memories.

“Why you agree with that condition? You really are?” I ask once we alone, walking in veranda to the main door. “I don’t know much about your mind but selling you privacy for money is just totally not you.”

“You want it. Beside this is what you talk about to do something for your fans. You want them know you’re fine, you happy, you want to introduce me to your fans, tell them I’m part of you now. Nothing can compare the thought of me being introduced to the world as a good husband of yours, Taeyeon.” He smile. “And... at least they can see you in a happy state in those photos. You want to do your best before finally quit it for real, right?”

He caressing my cheek before give me such a sweet promise. For now it is just a word, a promise he made, I know he trying his best to make it come true.

“I’ll try to do and give you everything so you can be happy. The better life of you is when you are with me. I’m gonna make it true so I don’t need to promise is forever.”

I think I’ll go in tear if I keep my eyes stare at his so I turn my head around.

“Thank you. You’re such a good husband, you take care of me very well. You obey my words and do everything to make me happy. Thank you, Jiyong.”

He smile from ear to ear.

“Alright. Let me hear you call me oppa this time before we go sleep?”

“Oh my god, this dragon. Okay, alright, thank you Jiyong Oppa. Saranghae...” I add the last sentence to make him pull me closer just to landed his lip on my forehead.

= = =

“So, Taeyeon... or should I start calling you Mrs. Kwon now?”

“Just Taeyeon. That’s alright.” I’m faking a smile to Mr. Kim Young Min.

“You always surprise me this recent times.” He chuckle. “First, you came with the news of your pregnancy. Second, about you and G-Dragon. Third, about the married. Fourth about leaving Girls Generation. Five, about the comeback... now? Can you give me some spaces to at least take a breath to avoid me from a heart attack?”

Oh well, I prefer you have a heart attack since the first so you don’t have to meddling my life until fifth news, you know?!

“Well, my contract with SM is not ended yet and I’m just pregnant not paralyzed. I want to do something to cover SM’s lose because of me, to pay my mistake to my fans too. A photobook and daily vlog program is not a big deal, I think. I’ve some moments before when you force me to stand as Kim Taeyeon, throw my girls out just to make more money for this company, now I voluntarily do this. I’ve heard I’ve gain more fans since some of VIP are into me too now.”

“Well, well... always a smart and fearless Kim Taeyeon I like.” He nodded several times. “So shall we started with the visualizing the idea in your mind into a presentation?”

With that I take leave from my chair and go to the front side of the room. There’s Kim Min Young and others SM’s upper manager, I see Yunho Oppa too sitting at the end of the table. I wonder why SM asked him to join this meeting. I manage to stand and delivery my idea for about thirty minutes before finally back to my seat. I can see there’s so many question in their faces. I’m about to panick when suddenly my manager, well ex-manager shold I say, come and take a seat beside me.

“You do well, like always.” He whisper.

I come out from the meeting room. My head is a bit dizzy. I force myself to stand up longer today, my feet are hurt but nothing can’t taking my concern about the meeting result. SM is very smart about looking a chance for money. I always feel amazed about how great they are to predict the future. Some of their ideas are sounds crazy but just wait and see that idea will make an incredible history.

I’m going to call Jiyong to let him know about the meeting result and inform him I’m going home when manager Oppa drag me into a room. In that room my girls are chatting happily. I assume they’re coming to preparing their comeback. Really? So fast since the moment I drop myself out of group. Yoona is the first one who welcoming me with her scream.

“Taeyeon unnieeee!!!” and by that seven of them gather up around me.

“Wow! What brings you here, Tae?” Tiffany asked.

“You doing good, Unnie?” that was Seohyun.

“What news you bring, Taeyeon?” Sunny added.

“We missed you.” Sooyoung said with a honest eyes.

I laugh. “I’m good, everything is fine and I miss you too. I just come out from a meeting.”

“Meeting? What meeting?”

“Photoshoot. Maternity photoshoot.” Tiffany take my place to say it.

“What photoshoot?” Hyoyeon’s face look confused.

“You back? Like a real comeback?”

By that we gather around and have a real talk, just like the old time. I let them know about my plan, the part Jessica and Seungri played in the first run of this comeback. I even tell them about my idea, my thought, and the plan I share with Jiyong about our career. They seems focus and all concern about my progress after leaving the big name of Girls Generation. Some responses are totally positive while others are blur with worries. I understand that and that’s all okay for me. It’s not surprise they worried about the hatred comment and response from people. I’m the one who leave the group, I’m the one who out of responsibility get pregnant.

Tiffany, Yoona and Sooyoung try to give a bright sight for Hyoyoen and Yuri who worried the most. There’s still some of my fans who still there, cheer me up. Also, there’s some of VIP who voluntarily loves me as a part of their way to love their favorite idol. And of course there’s many people out there who excitedly welcome the pack of GD-Taeyeon in this industry.

“Well... then just answer this one now, please? Pretty please?”

“What is it, Hyoyeon?”

“Whatever plan you have, is it related to us too? I mean, is it affected us as SNSD too?” she look sorry for saying that, make it clear that even if I’m together with them I’m no longer SNSD just like them. “I mean you’re part of us, forever, just like Jessica, but you know...”

“I know.” I cut it, make it easier for her. “And yes it is. It’s related to you, both personally and as a team too.”

“Okay, okay, whatever it is I don’t care, okay?” Yuri take a step toward me. She squad over my knees and place her hands on my belly. “All I care is you, the baby. What should we call you, huh? Your bad umma not yet give you a name, right? How about I call you rose? Or... daisy? I hear your father like daisy.”

“No!” I scream. “Not daisy. I just... I don’t like daisy. We’ll give her name soon.”

“Well, when?!” force Yoona then. “Ah, Unnie¸ when will you give a birth? Doesn’t usually doctor give you such a prediction?”

“Alright. And also I’m not sure she’ll represent a thing like rose or daisy, I mean it’s Jiyong and Taeyeon’s child! No offense, I think she’ll be a little dragon?” Tiffany chuckle, not considering Yoona’s questions before. She keep the concern about baby’s name. She exactly told me that if me and Jiyong can’t give her a proper name then she’ll make it. She’ll find the best name ever for our baby.

“More or less, weird and dorky just like her mom too.” Sooyoung clap her hands and continue laughing with Tiffany and the rest.

“Okay, okay.” Seohyun cut the laugh. “But I really curious with Yoona’s unnie question, it’s everyone question anyway. When will you give a birth for your baby, Unnie?”

“Next year. Around january.” I quitely answer with a low tone voice.

“Wow! We’ll have a special new year gift then!” Yuri scream in joy and kissing my belly several times before hugging me. The rest of them come to me too to give me a warm hug.

Not just that. You girls just wait.

= = =

“I’ll cook for you. Just tell me what you want to eat.” I speak to Jiyong on the phone. I’m alone at the supermarket, drive the trolly with all eyes on me. Or maybe to my belly. I give them a look ‘please understand me’ that make them don’t want to go near me.

I told myself last night, when I watch Jiyong sleep in peace beside me, I see how horrible this life for him. I know he is strong, have such a power to control the world but not himself.  Feel pathetic to see how thin he is, he is somehow weak. Then the idea coming, beside I mad a promise too to let him try my cook right?

Our relationship is going to the next level just.. a week ago? But I can’t wait to play my role very well. So for that and also for mistakes I’ve made in the past to him, I declare myself to take the best care of him. I’ll cook for him, go out more, watch movies togethr, eat ice cream, go to the beach to watch sunset, and hike to mountain to seek the fresh air. Everything! We’ll do so much fun things together.

“I’ll come home late, baby. I have to go to salon, you remember? I’ll change my hair color for this comeback.”

“Oh, no, Ji. Please...” I’m pleading. It’s not a bad idea to change his hair color, it’s just the choosen color that become a matter for me. Pink? Like really?! “I don’t want to see a cotton candy man sleep beside me tonight. I don’t want to sleep with a cotton candy man!” I manage to scream but not scream. I hear him laugh.

“Okay, okay. Not today.”

“Not today, tomorrow of forever. Please, pretty please... choose other color and I’ll agree. I promise.”

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