We spent another good days at london after that. Jiyong went for shopping with me and he swiped his card for everything I pointed in stores. He bought me new dresses, bags and shoes, we bought our new pair of glasses too. He asked for my opinion about which outer look best on him, I said both and he laughed. So I picked his new shoes and outer and took it home with us. From famous branded stores until under pricey local stores, we walked together hand in hand like natural. Firstly because of the feeling need to do, but then became more naturally by the time. It wasn’t like we always walk hand in hand for all day long though. We talked all the way, smiling to each others and sometimes shares our laugh at nothing. Just like that and I completely forgot about everything behind us, I felt like we’re like a friend like we should be.

On the fourth day, he asked me go out. He got a recommended place from people on SNS and he did a little research about that place and found it worth to be visited. So we took a way by a car he rent and drove to Fulham by following the map’s instruction. London Cru is one of the best winery also the famous one in london. As you know about Jiyong taste, of course he brought me to one of the best place only to sip my tounge on the kind of wine. They showed us the how-to-process the grapes into wine and let us taste it, they even have one day course for you to learn more about wine. As I wanted to know more about it I asked Jiyong to take the course but he shooked his head disagreed with my idea.

“Don’t overwork yourself, Taeyeon. We could back here some other times and learn how to make it, or maybe a local wine course in Seoul?”

I pouted but still follow through.

“You bad boy. You know I can’t take alchohol and you brought me there.” I commented when we finished our winery tour.

“I though you are not much into alchohol.” He laughed. “Beside.. you get drunk easily.”

True. I only tasted two kinds of red wines in limited amount under his eyes but he could taste like five or six different wines. I didn’t into that kind of drink, wine or champagne or even an alchohol. I drunk to help me forget about my problems, but sure to see a huge rack of wine was like a little gift for me so I wanted to taste it, enjoy it. The pregnancy didn’t help me much with the wines, poor me, but Jiyong bought two bottles of wine to home for me. He said, we’ll keep it and drink it together when I’m allowed to be friend again with alchohol, such a great idea. Because the wines we late for lunch so we picked the nearest restaurant randomly and stopped at not-so-huge-restaurant-but-fancy who sell many variety of Italian food. I’m craving for pasta since the first time I came to london. Weird, I should be when I go to Italy, right?

We ate in silence, like two souls that starving for food we only care about what’s on our plate. Since I’m pregnant I found out that I eat larger portion so I move from the first menu to the second one. Jiyong open his mouth in disbelief saw my growing appetite but I only shrugged my shoulder didn’t take serious his reaction. So he waited for me until I’m done with my second plate, he watched me eat all the second round in silence. I drank water from the glass and rested my body on the chair and smiled satisfiedly. He blinked his eyes and sniffed so I let a laugh.

“What?” I asked him, acted clueless.

“I can’t believe your eating habit, Taeyeon. I just realized it now.. Do you really like this? Even when you are still a member of SNSD? Daebak...”

I chuckled. “What’s so wrong? I’m pregnant, I didn’t eat only for myself.” I defense myself. Everytime I brought about the pregnancy-thing he could only nodded. “Sooyoung is much worst than me. She could eat five large portion for a day with much enough snack in between and still in shape.” I shared him our secret.

“Now we’re in a good term..” I began, I wanted to talk to him for no appropirate reason, so I did. “Tell me Jiyong, what makes you want the baby? You didn’t think twice when it comes, like you plan to have it all the time. No offense, but in my prespective, that act doesn’t suit the great G-Dragon I know. It’s only... out of my imagination to think you desperately want it.”

He laughed as the first response then he brought his body up, seemed so interest on now topic we discussed. He flipped his palms on the table and stared at me while I waited to his words. God, I had always waiting for his words because it always amazed me.. touch me here and there. His surely the leader, he could manage his words to the situation and the one he talk with. Maybe that was one of the reason of his successfull bussiness too.

“To heard you said so means you only know the great G-Dragon not the warm and ideal father type Kwon Jiyong.”

I rolled my eyes to his words but didn’t stop him to continue. I was glad he didn’t stop, I want to hear his reason in long explanation.

“I want to build my own family since younger, Taeyeon. I’m desperately wanted a daughter on my own to be exact. However it seems like I choose the wrong path by being an idol like what I am now. This profession prevent me from that dream but I never regret it though, I know I want it since I’m just a kid. I get jealous easily to other seniors at YG, like Sean hyung, Tablo hyung or even Hyunsuk hyung.” He chuckled, “I want to be a father like them. I’m envy the most when I saw their kids come over to cheer their daddy up. God, I want to return my place with them right away that time to only get a shout from an angelic high tone voice who called me appa and say fighting. Thank God something like that rarely happen in front of my eyes.”

I didn’t realized my tears came to fight as he told me his mind. Just like that, his words were like a magic spell on me and maybe on everybody else’s too. The combination of his strong aura, his charismatic eyes, firm and clear voice, and the sincerity he show from every parts of his body, made my sense came alive. I had never be an emotional person before, even my fans told me that I’m the strongest in group. Maybe because the tittle as leader on my shoulder made me thought I have to be stronger than others, be a place for my members to lean on, but still as a human being I’m not that type of person. I rarely cry and people said hard for them to moved my heart too. Just now I found myself such a weak person, easy to feel touched and emotional only by words. I found out that I’m only like this recently, since the baby comes, since he’s here.

I’m sure as hell he saw my teary eyes but he seemed didn’t mind at all and keep going. I know he just not done yet, he want to let all of it out. He might thought it’s a good time for us to finally speak since we never did even after married for almost a month. Althought we’re a husband and wife, our married life was be different than others. Of course it was different since we didn’t start it with love and even considered the love to join in after. Like we have our own condition to made us finally agree to get married and just married. We never share our thoughts except everything about the baby, I think it also less than other couple does. So now indeed was one of the best chance for us. We had far away from Seoul, captivated by such a beautiful city, London, and no one is here but us.

“About Kiko..” he started over again and I felt tensed on my nerve when he mentioned that name. “We’ve been together for long time to finally broke up like this. Since I’m so desperate to have a family on my own, I start to plan the future with her from the very beginning of our relationship. Like.. when we finally made it out, I think I just want to stop about all this bull about love and make the real one. I noted that being so greedy with woman on the first step won’t do any good. That’s maybe the reason why we ended like this.”

“Like what?”

He smiled and suddenly pinched my cheek. “Like this..” then he laughed.

 “What the hell you doing?!” Even I found him cute but still I couldn’t let it go easily. Like.. I got annoyed, you know?!

“Giving you an answer.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“That’s the answer. Isn’t it hurt to get pinch like that? That’s how we ended up..”

So I crossed my hands on my chest like a defense and pulled my body further from him. “It annyoyed me better than hurt by the way.”

He laughed. “Okay. That’s also annoying.”

You are annoying, Mr. Kwon. You just brought up about your ex in front of me, your friend and wife, worst on the dining table? And you could still laugh like that even when you describe the hurtfull and annoying feeling you got from her? Who’s not gonna feel annoyed like me, huh? He’s just so insensitive about woman, I thought he was an expert.

“Why?” he pouted, “You don’t want to talk about Kiko? I’m sorry, I think you need to know about it too..”

“Why I am should be? She’s a part of your life anyway, you have the right to talk about her with anyone you wanted to talk with.”

“True. You know what, I feel it easier to have a relationship with you, Tae. I don’t have to pretend like I’m strong, powerful or what, sure I’m great cause everybody knew that already, but with you it’s feeling like natural? Like breathing...” he smiled to me. “I don’t have a bunch of friends, Taeyeon. All I had was a collegue, the person that I can choose sometime in the future to help me out.”

“I don’t understand.” I murmered while turned my head to avoid his eyes.

“I think that we should be honest to each other from now on, Taeyeon, by that we could be friend. Right! Friendship! Friend shares their thought, their story.. just like that.”

His gazed wander the ceiling and my mind wander about what he thought that time.

“If only I met you first, it would be easier to love you..” he murmured.

= = =

We booked one room but we sleep separately. Like a gentleman he was, he let me sleep on the bed while he’d sleep on the couch. He didn’t want have his own room since we agree to be friend. He used the term ‘friend shares’ as his weapon to win over me, so we did share the room for two. Another reason was that he wanted to make sure that I’m alright since we lived in stranger’s place he said, he have to make sure I’m 24 hours safe. Sometimes I just couldn’t understand him and his behaviour and his mind.

But in the next morning I found myself woke up alone in our room. He was not there or anywhere, I got breakfast alone and even walked for some fresh air around the hotel alone without him. Only yesterday we decided to be friend but now he left me with nothing and I was felt like I got dumped by him for the second time. First was when he broke his promise to fly with me to london. I turned into much dramatic type of woman these days, much emotional too. Even a simple mistake that might be he didn’t intended to like this, made me upset and a bit mad. To remember that our relationship had been up to another stage, friendship, made the reality that hit me now even worst.

What the hell wrong with you, Kim Taeyeon?!

I finally decided to finish the trip on the last day alone since there was no call or text from Jiyong until noon. I recalled my recent activity and found out that I’m not yet shopping for souvenirs and gifts for my family and friends. So I went to one of prestigious place to shop in london by cab and got lost there for almost two hours. My body getting weight day by day and made me difficult to move faster. I used be the one who always on the rearguard compared to my members because I’m weak, they even called me human paper because I’m too weak to walk properly, but now I was worst. My potruding belly wouldn’t help me on any fast movements, so.. yeah I’d be more like a sleeping beauty from now on.

That was night when I came back to hotel. I had strange feeling when I’m out from the lift and took steps to our room. I took the key and swiped it so the door opened. I walked in with shopping bags in one hand, I was about to closed the door behind when I heard someone groaned. I was so alarmed that time so I let all the shopping bags fell on the floor. I tiptoed to prevent any sounds from my feet and found Jiyong body fell on the floor. My jaw dropped open and I just stared at him for some moments before finally run to his body.

“Jiyong, what’s wrong?!” I said panicly and run to his fell body.

“Surprise!!! Happy first monthasary, Kim Taeyeon!!!”

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