“I saw the photos of you and him, shopping for maternity thing, huh?”

I smiled proudly. “Not yet for the maternity thing, just my marital clothes.” I brag. “That happened with married couple.” I chuckle, act shy.

She sniff. “So, why do you have such a courage to meet me secretly here now?”

“Should I don’t?” I rolled my eyes. “You’re so wrong if you thinking that I am weak, Kiko-ssi, because I am not.” I smile proudly.

She laugh. “Really?” she smirk. “So what do you want? Really, I don’t want to waste my time with you here. Now we know each other about our true self like this, let’s be honest with everything.”

“Stop bugging Jiyong.. that’s what I want. Simple request, I’m sure you can do it.”

She nods, so annoying for me. “Sure, I can do that but I don’t want to. I want to keep bugging him until he lose. Beside... I really want him, Taeyeon-ssi. He’s the greatest man I’ve ever met.”

I choke for her blunt mouth. She smile evily to me while I drink a half of water from the glass with a help from the straw. I curse her in my heart and my mind. I don’t think this Kiko could be more than just rude and shameless. I thought she will forever play victim and all nicest like an angel while she keep disturbing Jiyong from his peacefull life. At least that’s how I judge the circumstance between her and Jiyong from the wedding day until the moment when she suddenly appeared in front of our house. Is that because of she’s so much desperate to get Jiyong back? Is that because of Jiyong or the relationship they had to make her be like this? I mean if it is about love, surely she can find someone better than Jiyong who will give her his all. Maybe Jiyong was point because she seems so insist to keep Jiyong for her wants.

“I’m sorry?” I said, looking at her with my annoying face. “What makes so brave and shameless like this, Kiko-ssi? Are you really in desperate state about the broke up you had with Jiyong?”

She laughed than narrowed her eyes to me, such a scary. “I was but not anymore. Since you kick me out from his party in japan I found it would be more interesting to play this game with you.”

“I didn’t kick you out...” I’m about to defense myself from her accusation when the memory playing on rewind inside my head. “Was I kick you out?”

She laugh even louder. “I planned to act like a good and inncocent woman before but I have to admit you;re much better than me, Taeyeon-ssi. Maybe you can start to be an actress.”

“Well, you’re not alone in this cruel world, Taeyeon. And... you’re not alone if you think you are an evil because me too is an evil.” She said, admit about the evil side inside her beautiful creature.

She indeed is an evil. Only the real one evil who will call herself as an evil, just like she did. So I take a note for myself that she is an evil and I must be guarded from her evil act. To say that I have to take myself away from her so I won’t get any effect from her evil act might be wrong and be something I regret the most in the future. I can’t loose. Not becuse I want to be the winner but because I don’t want her to get what she want. Jiyong.

“If Jiyong is really the greatest man you’ve ever met, I wonder why did you let him go to finally meet me, Kiko-ssi? If only you never set him free, never push him aside, appreaciate him and all his heart and love for you, I might not be pregnant now. I might not be married with him. I’m might be the Kim Taeyeon everyone knows, not the Kwon Taeyeon who sit in front of you now.”

I knock her down. Her jaw drop open and she can’t beat me back. She know very well that the reason why she and Jiyong be like this right now is because of her. Because she refused Jiyong’s proposal, because she’s so selfish to only think about herself and not considering Jiyong’s heart.

“I’m not an evil, Kiko-ssi. I’m a woman who gonna try any possibe ways to keep everything right. I’m a wife who gonna work my hard to keep my husband’s pride. Most important, I’m a mother who won’t let myself be an evil because I have to be a good role model for my child now and then. Both of us may deserve any bad thing because we’v been doing mistakes, but my child is innocent. She deserve best.”

When I saw her eyes fill with anger but completely seal like she can’t find any better words to beat me, that when I realized she lose. It’s not a game or competition but to know that I have a point that she hasn’t make me jumping inside in a delightfull feeling. Even if she is a brave and shameless person to tell me about her evil, she can’t beat me on the point that I am Kwon Jiyong’s wife and soon be a mother for his child too. Call it off when she turn her face away and hit the table hard only to show she is losing over me.

“Im so sorry to saying those hurtful words.. but I think sometimes you need to get it so you can back to your sense. This world is not belong only to you, Kiko-ssi.” I said then ready to get up. When I step further from the table I hear her groan.

“Just you wait...” is only the last word she said.

= = =

“It’s happen!.” Jiyong bring a box full of later to me. I let a sigh and take it from his hand, he look at me in worried. “Should we move?”

“No! What for? It’s all okay, it’s just... you know.. this thing should be happen, it’s all about time. We’ve expected it, we’ve accepted it before right? So what makes you so surprise?”

“But this is not make a sense, Taeyeon. We’ve been married for more than three months now, you leave SNSD about three months ago, and you reveal the truth to public around that time too. But you just having this kind of threat now? Where the hell they were? Why it took so long for them to make something like this to you?”

That’s true. Over threee months passed since the scandal broke out, the wedding, my departure, the pregnancy, but none of these happen to me. The only thing they did to me in the past were only commenting on my social media account, badmouthing me from behind, and made such an article to drown my name. No direct things like sending me an threatening letters, shut down every official thing from my hardwork on the internet, made an article with huge deadline on the front page or made sarcasm ads on the public about me. I’m like a worst artist this industry could produce from the whole time. Every bad habit from other artist could related with me, like dating scandal, night habit, or what. They talk like they know the real condition of me.

Jiyong take it as a joke at first, but now when the letters come to our apartment and even to YG and SM too, also another form of protest all around our lives, Jiyong couldn’t be calm anymore. It’s start annoyed him and of course me too, since all the hurtfull words are pointed to me. The worst is that every hurtfull words, every discrediting comments, and every wrong articles curse not only for my bad but also the baby. Yes, the baby he save from the first place. The baby that become the reason why all of this happen on us. His baby, his first child gonna be. For that, Jiyong can’t be calm anymore. He once thought to take the legal way to stop all of it, but I said don’t. Stronger he fight fot it would made bigger effect, like challenging each others, we can’t win it since we challenge the public.

This.. more and less put a bad effect on me too. The was last night when Hayeon called me and said that my family in Jeonju receive this kind of treat from the villager near our neighborhood. My family start to receive the annoying letters yesterday morning, like five letters that wrote any bad judging of myself. Everyone keep silence and refuse to react for that, but then Jiwoong found out the unpleasant phrase that he hate the most.

‘You are a , Kim Taeyeon, who got pregnant to get Kwon Jiyong under your nail.’

Jiwoong hate that phrase in every his heart beat because he is the one who won’t let me to fall in love firstly with anyone. He thought about me so high as a sister, like a diamond for him. So to tell him that I’m being the cheap who pawn my highest pride as a woman for such a man like Kwon Jiyong was a big wrong step. Even a better man, or the best one man in the world, still not really that worthy for his sister. He’ve been seeing me goes up and down for almost entire of my life, of course he defense me so much. He know how hard I try and how many things we sacrified to finally make me standing here.

“Am I a ?” out of my brain, I ask him that question on the other noon when Jiyong decided to spent his day off at home since he is so worried about all the threat.

“What?”

“Am I  a who got pregnant only to make you mine? How could that even possible when at the first place I was about to kill this baby to make you completely gone away from my life forever?” I speak out the discordant thought that keep playing in my mind.

I looked at his I’m-not-get-it-please-be-rational face and shake my head. My face is clear from any expression. I walk back and forth in front of him who sit on the chair in the dining room. I glance at him and shake my head again. I think hard about everywords from the letters now, because I want to make a sense for all of it. Since I was so adamant to think that I was the victim and it was the wrong of circumstance that made it all happened, I never use to hear about the public’s. For more, Jiyong taught me how to be ignorant type of person for all those bull they threw to us and this what I gonna be.

“It’s not the public. Who’s in the world willingly pay for the ads on public places or newspaper for the thing like that? I mean.. I’m only Kim Taeyeon, I didn’t own the world.”

“Stop talking nonsense, Tae. Let it go.”

“You can let it all go just like that?”

He get up, approaching me. “Of course I can’t, but.. you were the one who told me so. It only wasting our time and energy, let that person or all the human being in this world do that, but we don’t have to. We have a bigger responsibility...” he put his hand on my stomach and my eyes follow his hand gesture.

“Right.” I mutter and look up to his eyes.

But still, when a full week passed with that condition still running around, I’m freaking out again. Worsen this time because Jiyong finally call my family and ask them to come over to see me. I act all good in front of my family because I don’t want them to feel sad or weighed to see my condition. All I know is they too receive more or less the thing that I receive just now. I’m so happy to finally meet my family again, the tense between Jiwoong and Jiyong was still but Jiyong try harder to approach him. My father go easily to a kind of serious talk with Jiyong when Jiwoong suddenly appear and join in. Hayeon seems so happy, she can’t keep her eyes away from Jiyong. I several times in front of Jiyong and my mom when I found her sticky eyes linger on Jiyong face when he come to ask me some question.

“Yah, Kim Hayeon, unnie get jealous with you if you keep continue looking to Jiyong oppa like that.” I laugh and she hit my arm with an annoying look on her face.

“Unnie, don’t embarrassed me in front of Jiyong oppa.”

Both Jiyong and my mom chuckle.

“Let your unnie jealous, Hayeon-ah.” Jiyong put his arm around Hayeon comfortably and Hayeon jump in shock. Her face suddenly reddened and I’m laughing loud to see her tomatto face, Jiyong too let his laugh out while keeping Hayeon close with him.

“Jiyong-ah, stop it. She could collapse by your act..” I pull Hayeon away from him. I embrace her on my arm but she refuse it. So suddenly she look at me straightly with a serious face then turn to Jiyong and make an awkward smile.

“Oppa, can I living here together with you and unnie?” she ask suddenly.

“Yah, Kim Hayeon! Who will help mom at home then if you’re living here?”

She pouting and Jiyong pat her back. “That’s true, maybe after you graduate from high school?” Jiyong said, give her such a false hope because who will make sure we can stay together until Hayeon graduate from high school?

I hit his arm. “Don’t give her such a false hope.” I said between my teeth then turn to look at Hayeon’s face. “Hayeon-ah, you can’t living here together with Unnie and Oppa. You have to watch mom and dad while Unnie earn money for us, like we did all this time. But don’t worry you can coming here every weekend maybe sleepover too sometimes, okay?” I fondly her hair.

“What your sister said is right, Hayeon.” My mom said in her warm voice, she hold Hayeon and kiss her head before continuing her words. “And also your sister is just married recently, can’t you just give your unnie and oppa time to get to know each other more? Your sister also in her pregnancy time right now, it will be more complicated for her to taking care of you too.”

Hayeon shoulder went down but her facial expression is better. Our mom always good both at explaining and reasoning a thing. We won’t get any misuderstatement once she tell us the reason, also the way she describing a thing make everything come to their sense and good to be accepted. That could be a reason for me, my brother and my sister harmonious relationship. I see an admiring look in Jiyong’s eyes while he look at my mother.

“Right, Hayeon-ah. Don’t be sad, you could meet this handsome oppa everytime, we can do video call if you feel really need to see this handsome face at the time.” He joking out to made Hayeon’s heart feel better and succeed. Hayeon smile prettily after hearing his favorite oppa’s word. It seems like not only me who cast under his spell of words but also my sister and maybe the rest of woman population in this country.

= = =

Jiyong have to leave for his bussiness matter about three days so he leave me under his sister eyes since he was so worried about myself and the baby. He about to control his cafe in Jeju Island, Monsant Cafe, and fly right away to Paris for other important matter. The thing I learn from Jiyong this three months passed that he such a great person. He thought about so many things from his life at any level, a great man that full of plans and idea. He seems reckless, a jerk kind of man that you should avoid, but in reality he indeed a man you should chase for life. Not only because he is rich, but also because he has a good and strong character. Of course you have to deal with another bad habit of him, like insensitive, party goers, and too kind to make people misundestanding his act.

“I heard him was in japan yesterday.” Dami shout from the kitchen.

“Oh, really? He didn’t text me where he’s about.”

She come with an orange juice in her left hand and milk in her right. I shut my mouth and plester an upset expression but she still handed it to me. I groan while take the glass and she gesture me to drink it, even invite me to cheers before drink it.

“I didn’t this picky, even if I don’t really like milk but I can be tolerance with kind of lact