Jiyong seems can’t focus to anything once I said I’m feeling down by the morning. My morning sickness is over but today I’m feeling sick. My knees are weak so I just laying on my bed for entire morning until late noon. I lose my appetite, so I skipped breakfast and hardly chew my lunch after hearing Jiyong’s nagging words. Jiyong suggest me to call doctor that of course I refuse, then he want to call his mom for help but I said don’t.

“So what should I do?”

“Just let me take a time to get rest.”

“You’ve been laying there since morning, Taeyeon. You make me worried.”

“Don’t be. I’m just okay. Maybe... maybe because she’s growing inside me so I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable. She’s getting bigger.”

“Right, but you just guessing that’s why I said we need to call the doctor.”

“She’s just.. give me another vitamin, Ji. I hate those vitamins!”

“Okay, so what do you want?!” he rise his voice, feeling the pressure of stress to handle my childish and uneasy act.

I’m thinking about anything I want but there’s nothing I want this time. I’m my belly, my now habit, I want to sing. Of course he can’t help me with that one so I think about other things then I remember pasta I ate in london that time. That’s just regular pasta, but maybe because my growing appetite that time or my hunger because we late for lunch that make it so delicious so I can’t forget. I’m eyeing Jiyong, not really sure he can make it for me. Yes, I want him cook the pasta for me. I’ve heard this dragon can’t cook, people say he even can’t chop the onion. But guess what? I don’t care!

“Can you cook me pasta?”

“Pasta?”

“Yes, pasta. Maybe with tomatto soup too.”

“You sure want me to cook it? No delivery or come to resto to ask for that?”

I’m not right away answer his question. Too tricky to give a direct yes or no answer. I don’t care if he’ll going to burn the house or hurt his finger, I just want him to cook it for me. I like playing with him which is hard if I ask him directly, so I have to do it secretly. I suddenly stop my belly, an evil idea popping out in my head. I say sorry to my baby for always making her as the reason to knock her father down. She is my ultimate bullet anyway.

“It’s just... the baby wants it.”

“Oh...” and I’m waiting for his next move. He walk to the kitchen and open the refrigenerator’s door. He squat over there, looking for anything. Just as ready as that to make it after hearing that the baby who want to make him cook? Unbelieveable, he is definitely a fool for his daughter, but the rest of father in the world just like that, right? Maybe because it is G-Dragon in my case so make me hard to believe. Beside blinded by his love for Kiko, now I know his other weakness.

“We don’t have anything left.” He suddenly appear with an uneasy face.

“Oh, really? Let’s go for grocery then.”

You know right, grocery scene in drama? Suddenly I hate myself for turning into a kind of that girl who like something general, something cheesy, something just.. not me, like going for grocery together. But the picture of Jiyong and me walking together for grocery is really nice. We are talking about Kwon Jiyong who live with scandal, who never say anything clear about his lover, walking for grocery together with me. Me.. Taeyeon the one who left the group because pregnant outside marriage, the one who accept so much hate from people because her dating scandal with her junior, the one who get a title as the worst leader because let her member go without any fights.

“Come on.” I said with a bitter smile.

= = =

“It’s really nice to walking out to public like this,” he said, placing his hand on my waist. “No hesitation, no worry. I’m feeling like a human.”

“Yes.” I’m nodding. “Because the world knows.” I can feel his warm hand on my shoulder and eyes from the crowd around us when we walking so close beside each other like that. “Better be if the one you hug is the one you love.” Then I bluntly said.

I feel his eyes fall on me but I refuse to look back at him. I keep walking with my eyes straight to the front, then he finally turn his head and we walking in silence. I don’t know for what reason I said such a thing that burning both of our heart. I regret it but I can do nothing. I’m eyeing Jiyong and look at his flatten face, my heart aching.

The scene of grocery togethat that full of romance vanished. We are more like robots that have been set up to do this. Blame my stupid mouth and those hurtful words. More I think about that more I remember all belonging on Jiyong toward Kiko. His heart, his love, his promise to love only her, his promise to marry her. I can’t blame Jiyong for the thing happen between us, none of us want it at first. Then should I blame Kiko for resent him off? As far as I know, that was had happened between them. Maybe Kiko too have the same regret like me and him. Regreting her act for kick him out which undirectly be a way for us to meet.

“Isn’t that Taeyeon and GD?”

“Oh my God, GD oppa!”

“Taeyeon and GD?”

“Jiyong! Kwon Jiyong!!!”

I feel the pressure from the public. For the first time, I finally walking out of our house to be just a human who living the world like others. Of course it won’t be the same, beside my now body shape and status as a wife of someone, I’m also no longer an idol. Even if I still continue be an artist under SM Entertainment, but I believe I can’t make my comeback until finally my contract ends. The quite home becomes my usual now so it’s a bit weird to hear such a growing sound from, mostly, woman. You know, they aren’t screaming my name. I’m walking with Jiyong, why should they care about me when the one beside me is G-Dragon?

Jiyong bring me closer to him, tighten his hug.

“Be careful, they might harm you.”

“They won’t.” I said as I release myself from him. “It’s hard to walking like that...” I read the way his gaze speaking and feeling sorry for my act. I grab his hand and linking my fingers to his. “Let’s just walking like this, hand in hand.”

Thankfully, after a fan service he gave people start to leave us and give us chance to have a normal shopping time. We keep the silence until I finally found my favorite ice cream and run for that. Me and my members usually have this ice cream for some occasion, like celebrating someone’s birthday or our comeback, also when we’re feeling sad and stress about something. You know, being a member of girl group means endless diet. We have different kind of way to solve our matter as a group and talking with a bunch of snack and food is one the best way we accept. Ice cream always be our choice in every matter, even in every season. I take one box and turn to Jiyong who finally arrive with the trolly.

“Can I have this one?”

“Of course, that’s just an ice cream. You can have it, two if you really want.”

“One is enough.” I said happily. “What else we need? You really know how to make it right?”

“Let me call my mom, I know how to make pasta but not sure for soup. Do you want anything beside tomatto soup, my mom probably don’t know the ingredients. Wait, but isn’t it weird to eat pasta with soup?”

“Is it? Hm... let’s eat pasta for lunch and make bibimbap in case we’re still hungry. And then... how about ramyun for dinner? We can buy snacks too if you want.”

“Tae, you really want to gain more more weight.”

“I don’t care. I won’t make comeback anyway.” I said then push the trolly excitedly, leaving Jiyong behind. He finally catch me up and we drive the trolly together.

Jiyong know how to make bibimbap, although he can’t guarantee the taste but he is pretty confident about that. We also buy homemade kimchi on the way back to apartment. And both of us are starving for ramyun, I remember I never eat it since we married, so we choose to eat ramyun for dinner. No matter what, ramyun will be forever best option in any condition.

We finally made it and back to apartemen. Although all the grocery shopping wasn’t really like in the drama but I’m still happy. I sit down and watch him preparing everything, smartphone on my palm. I search through SNS and found out that our picture together in the supermarket goes viral. I carefully read the comments. The hurtful words are still there, also those bad names for me and Jiyong, mostly me. But yes, I found that some of them are cheering us. I consciously smiling my joy for that fact.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Eh? Nothing.” I shake my head. Of course Jiyong won’t believe me. He walk and stop behind me, bring his head closer to mine and take a peak to my cell phone’s screen. He drown in his own excitement while reading those comments, meanwhile me for no reason feeling suffocated all that time. Maybe his parfume....

“Good. VIP suppose to be smart and kind and angelic like that.” He chuckle, smile proudly and back to the counter.

I watch his back while he cook, still considerating the suffocation feeling I got not long ago. There’s no reason for anyone, including me, to not falling in love with this man. My case, I have an excelent reason to explain, he is my daughter father, my husband. People who don’t know the real dragon might fall for his charming charisma, his bad boy act, or even his money. Yet they don’t know about the warm and caring dragon who have a good attitude toward elders and lovely act to the ones younger than him. This mama boy is a complete package.

“I’m start liking this, Ji.”

“This what?” he ask while his two hands still busy finishing pasta for us. He bring two plates and place it on the minibar table.

“Here...” he said, offering me a fork. “What was you talk about, Tae? You liking what?” he spin the fork and tasting his own work. His face turn brighter, I suppose because the pasta taste delicious. He smile proudly and gesture me to start eating too.

I do but after three time or so, I stop eating. Feeling full already because the word I force to swallow back fight againts my mouth.

“I’m start liking all of this. The house, two bedrooms, and the kitchen, you, me... the baby. It’s feeling like the real house now.”

“How was it feeling before?” he ask, keep chewing hungrily.

“Just... like a place to live with no meaning?” Now he stare at me. “I’m sorry for nagging you about the peacefull life, a silent and dreamy house to live. I know as long as you are G-Dragon and I am Taeyeon, we can’t have it. But really, you did a good job. I’m happy now, at least now I’m not feeling alone anymore.”

He keep staring at me while me waiting for his response. Finally after seconds and he keep silent, I take that chance to continue my words.

“I think we’re succeed as a friend now.” I give my hand, asking for a handshaking to completed the level as a friend we successfully achieved.

He place the fork and spoon then grab m