What's so good about picking up the pieces?

None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole

Caraphernelia- Pierce the Veil

chapter playlist

Baekhyun awoke to the sound of water dripping.

Drip.

He regained his senses, painfully aware of the agonizing throbbing in his body. He opened his eyes to see only a red darkness.

Drip.

Baekhyun was slouched against a cold brick wall, and when he moved, a shock of pain rippled through the side of his body. His hands were tied above his head to a pipe, his ankles tied together. Baekhyun tried moving, but every movement caused him much more pain, his wrists sore as they chafed against the rope holding him prisoner.

Drip.

Baekhyun strained against his bonds and twisted his body, but yelped when the left side of his body twinged. He sat back against the wall, blowing his bangs out of his eyes. He recollected his memories of last night, or how many hours, or days ago.

Drip.

He remembered the party, the stench of alcohol and smoke, Sehun and his fascination, Chanyeol’s words to him, fighting Tao, and getting hit by a car.

Drip.

Baekhyun absentmindedly pulled on his bonds, his mind occupied. Where had Tao taken him? He attempted to adjust himself to the light, but he still could not distinguish his surroundings. All he knew was that he was in a red room of some sort and was tied to a leaky pipe.  Baekhyun sniffed the air and grimaced. It stank of standing water...and something dead.

Drip.

Baekhyun pulled a bit on his wrists, sighing when he felt blood dripping down his forearms. Where was Tao - that -anyway?

Drip.

The sound of footsteps entered the room. Baekhyun raised his head to find Tao standing before him, his eyes maniacally gleaming.

“There’s no point in trying to escape. You’re not getting anywhere in your condition.”

“Speak of the devil,” Baekhyun said, surprising himself with the hoarseness in his voice. “I was just thinking of the devil.”

Drip

“Haha, very funny,” Tao sat down on a chair across from Baekhyun, crossing his leg over the other. “Your sarcastic remarks aren’t getting you anywhere. You know that, right?”

“Yes, also that and the fact that my left rib cage is broken and I’m tied to a pipe. God, how stupid can you be, Tao?”

Tao stood up angrily. “Shut up, Baekhyun. You’re lucky I haven’t killed you.”

Drip

“Yeah, what’s up with that anyway?” Baekhyun asked, flicking his bangs out of his face with a swing of his head. “Why haven’t you? You’ve obviously kidnapped me for a reason, right?”

Tao eyed him, then took a step toward him. He peered down at Baekhyun, swung his leg, and kicked him on his injured side. Baekhyun screeched in pain, and Tao dug his heel into his ribcage.

Drip.

“Remember this pain, Byun Baekhyun,” Tao whispered. Baekhyun felt tears come to his eyes, and he bit his tongue to silence himself from screaming. 

Tao moved his foot from the area, leaving Baekhyun panting.

Drip.

“This pain will keep you alive.”

Tao was gone, and Baekhyun dug his fingernails into his scraped palms. 

How was he going to get out of this situation?

Baekhyun closed his eyes. Even at a troubling moment like this, he couldn’t rely on thoughts of Chanyeol to make him happy.

Baekhyun let the pain wash over him and lull him to an uncomfortable sleep.

*

Kai, Lay, and Xiumin sat in the living room, the TV blaring in the background. Kai was sitting at the edge of his seat, his hand shaking as he held a cup of coffee. Lay did the same, wringing his hands as well. Xiumin sat flat on the couch, arms coiled around a pillow, a vacant stare in his eyes as he gazed out the window.

Kai watched the door like a hawk, flinching at any noise in the house. “When do you think Baekhyun’s coming back? I’m ready to fight.” Kai sipped and growled as the coffee burned his throat.

“I don’t know. He did this to us before, but then came back in less than 24 hours. Maybe it’ll be like last time. Maybe he had a sleepover with one of his high school friends," Lay said, but he couldn’t help but look as rustled as Kai.

Kai sighed and glanced at Xiumin. He tossed at a pillow at Xiumin, jostling him out of his daydream. “Yah, Xiumin!” Xiumin snapped back into focus, bowing his head and mumbling an apology. 

“At least act like you care that Baekhyun is missing.” Kai narrowed his eyes. “What’s wrong with you all of a sudden? This isn’t a moping household. Did Baekhyun rub off on you?”

XIumin didn’t answer and went back to staring out the window.

“You know Tao is gone too, right?” Kais said, diverting his attention away from Xiumin, tapping his fingers against the cup nervously. “This isn’t a good sign. Baekhyun only went out that one time and then holed himself up in his room for the rest of the time. This isn’t normal.”

Lay sighed. “I know, but let’s think positively. If he doesn’t get back by midnight tonight we should go look for him.”

Kai nodded. “I don’t think I can handle that. Just in case, I think we should start investigating Baekhyun’s assignment and why he’s been changing a lot lately. I’m going to go bribe Suho to give me information about his current mission. Or threaten him. Either way works - let’s see what I’m in the mood for.”

Kai stood up and Lay bid him goodbye. “Be careful,” He warned. “If Baekhyun was caught off guard, you should be vigilant too.”

“Constant vigilance!” Lay croaked, and Kai smiled slightly at the reference. He put on his coat and wrapped his scarf around his neck and mouth. 

Kai went outside and walked to the Research lab. The weather outside was chilly and windy. “Baekhyun,” Kai thought. “Wherever you are, I hope you’re somewhere warm. Please come back soon.”

Kai knocked on the door and entered. The Lab was quiet for once when he walked inside. The room was an absolute mess as usual and it was hard finding Suho and his assistant among the piles of papers and trash.

Kai found Suho face down on his open laptop (open to a word document of 2,999 pages filled with the typed character tghy7 repeatedly) and his assistant Kris resting on an empty table with a blanket over him. 

Kai tapped on Suho’s shoulder and whispered his name. “Suho.”

When Suho wouldn’t wake up, Kai grabbed the nearest cup of coffee that happened to still be hot, apologized to Suho in advance, and poured it on the nape of Suho’s neck and down his lab coat.

Suho jumped up, clearly awake now, and screamed, clutching at the back of his neck.

“Sorry, Suho,” Kai said, bowing. “Desperate times call for drastic measures.”

Suho glared at him and sat down on another chair. 

“Please elaborate on the desperate measure that caused you to pour burning coffee on my beautiful skin.”

Kris sat up, yawning. It seemed he had been awoken by the sound of Suho screaming. He gave Kai a thumbs up and went back to sleep with a snore.

“Baekhyun is missing.” Kai explained, all of his words tumbling out of his mouth nervously. “He’s been acting very different lately, and we don’t know why. Tao and him are both gone and we don’t know where either of them are, or if they’re together. If this has anything to do with his current assignment, could you give me his information?”

Kai took a deep breath. "We have to find him.”

Suho nodded. ‘Wow, even Baekhyun can come under harm’s way. Okay, I’ll give you what I have, though it won’t guarantee it will lead you to any clues.”

He printed out a few papers and handed them to Kai. “Right now he is attending Seoul High School under the pseudonym you already know, Byun Baekhyun. It’s Saturday, so if you want to investigate the school then you would have to wait until Monday.”

Kai leafed through the papers until he stopped at a picture of a boy with a big, bright smile. “This boy is his target? Park Chanyeol?”

Suho nodded. “Yes. He was forced to be friends with him. So maybe if you find him then you have a shot of finding Baekhyun.”

Kai nodded and held the papers to his chest. “Okay, thanks Suho.”

Kai left the lab, determined to find one of his best friends.

“Baekhyun,” Kai thought. “I hope you’re safe.”

*

The light shone in through the curtains. Kyungsoo twitched as it hit him, groaning as it blinded him when he opened his eyes. He burrowed himself under the covers, relishing in the cool darkness. His mouth tasted stale and he was unable to think clearly. 

The memories of last night came flashing back in a tumultuous wave along with the ability to coherently think. Kyungsoo frowned, clutching his pillow under the covers.

He remembered kissing Chanyeol and his angry face as he threw his arm off of him… 

He vaguely recalled the depressing ride back home and collapsing into bed, where he had been ever since, he assumed.

Kyungsoo rubbed at his chest. The wound was still raw. He had hurt Chanyeol because of his drunken stupidity. Now, Kyungsoo couldn’t blame Chanyeol’s pain on anybody other than himself.

Kyungsoo’s phone rang. He didn’t budge. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. Kyungsoo wanted to wallow in his sorrows like the angst-filled teenager he was.

The phone continued to ring, this time insistent.

Annoyed with the sound, Kyungsoo sat up, ignoring the wave of nausea that washed over him. He checked to find he had 5 missed calls and a voicemail from Jongdae. 

He frowned. Jongdae never called him. He opened his voicemail and listened to it. Jongdae’s voice was frantic. 

“Kyung, please answer your damn phone. This is an emergency, you stupid hungover idiot. Call me back, you . THIS ISN’T THE RIGHT TIME TO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!”

Anxious, Kyungsoo quickly called Jongdae back, afraid of what he was going to hear.

Jongdae picked up immediately. “For the love of God, Kyung, you finally answered!”

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asked.

Jongdae went quiet. “It’s Chanyeol. He’s in the hospital.”

Kyungsoo’s heart stopped. He didn’t know how to react. His hand trembled as he held the phone to his ear. All of the breath in him seemed to escape.

“W-What?”

Jongdae answered quietly, all of the words seeming to rush out of his mouth at once.  “I-I don’t know. I stopped by early this morning coincidentally for a routine checkup and I saw them wheeling him in. H-He didn’t look so good. I’ve been pestering the nurses but they still won’t let me see him.”

Jongdae asked. “Kyung are you still there? It’s the hospital close by the school.”

Kyungsoo hung up, setting his phone down on the desk hard. He ran his hand over his face and paced his room.

It was all his fault. If he hadn’t been an idiot and kissed Chanyeol none of this would have happened. Chanyeol wouldn’t have run outside and left the party early and angry and gotten hurt.

Kyungsoo grabbed his phone and called a driver, running down the stairs and flinging the doors open outside.

There wasn’t a car outside available, but Kyungsoo had to get to Chanyeol, and he didn’t care how. He took off into a run toward the hospital.

Kyungsoo had to see Chanyeol.

*

Kyungsoo ran into the hospital, doubling over to catch his breath. Jongdae was waiting for him in the lobby, his face solemn.

“Did you run all of the way here?” He asked.

Kyungsoo nodded, and Jongdae patted his back.

Kyungsoo grabbed Jongdae’s shoulder and pulled himself upright, panting. “Is there any news?”

Jongdae shook his head.

“What did he look like?” Kyungsoo asked, pleadingly. “Was he bleeding? Was he alive?”

Jongdae dropped his gaze. “He wasn’t bleeding. I overheard the nurses talking and they said Chanyeol was discovered collapsed on the sidewalk early this morning by joggers. It wasn’t too far from the party.”

Kyungsoo cursed under his breath. “This is all my fault. I’m the reason why Chanyeol is hurt.”

“Don’t blame this on yourself.” Jongdae said. “Waste your energy hoping instead.” He went quiet. “He’s in a pretty bad condition, Kyung. It’s the only thing we can do right now.”

Jongdae pulled on Kyungsoo’s sleeve. “I’ll take you up to where they have him. They’re letting us wait outside the room.”

Jongdae and Kyungsoo waited silently inside the elevator as it rode its way up to the ICU floor. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but pace the elevator nervously. 

The thought of never seeing Chanyeol smile again frightened Kyungsoo more than anything.

They arrived at the floor, and Jongdae led Kyungsoo down the hallway to the third room from the left. “This is his room.”

Kyungsoo stood outside the door, hand on the knob, head lowered.

“Chanyeol is suffering in there because of me,” Kyungsoo thought. He rested his head on the door.

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol. I’m sorry for all of the pain I’ve ever caused you. My love stifled you to the point of exhaustion. I’m sorry."

All my love has ever done is hurt you.

I’m sorry…

I’m sorry for loving you.

Kyungsoo sighed, letting the door knob go and sitting slumped against the door, head in his arms.  No tears could come to his eyes. The pain was so overwhelming that he couldn’t even express it.

“I’m letting you go, for the sake of your wellbeing.”

Kyungsoo kissed goodbye all of his fond memories with Chanyeol, all of the years he had known and loved him.

“Goodbye, Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo shook as his heart broke, Chanyeol’s smile forever ingrained in his mind.

“I absolutely loved loving you.”

*

Baekhyun lost all track of time.  An eternity felt like a minute; a minute, an eternity. He became unaware of the amount of blood he had lost. Everything was hazy. He couldn’t keep his eyes open. He stopped trying to escape.

Tao would come and go, physically abusing him until he cried for mercy. Helpless, Baekhyun couldn’t fight back as he landed strike after strike over his mangled and bruised body.

Tao was sick; he watched Baekhyun writhe beneath him as he sprinkled the water he desperately needed onto his bloody body instead. At times, he would plunge Baekhyun into a tub of water and hold his head underwater for more than a few seconds, laughing as he struggled to breathe afterward.

Then, there came a point at which Baekhyun stopped crying. The physical abuse led to something much more calm and serene. A numbness spread to every point in his body, from the tips of his fingers to his broken heart. He stopped feeling. The pain had become such a constant companion that Baekhyun felt numb to it all. No matter any punch or kick Tao inflicted upon him…

He felt nothing.

Baekhyun was simply a toy for Tao’s cruel purposes, held against his will for his own sadistic pleasure and content.

Baekhyun had given up hope.