Hold my heart

It’s beating for you anyway

Caraphernelia- Pierce the Veil

The dark alley beside the club stank of alcohol and vomit. The music from the club blasted into the street, the bass causing the windows to shake. People entered the club with ease, the burly bodyguards letting in anyone who looked the part.

Something moved in the shadows of the alley. 

A woman stumbled down the steps of the club, stumbling on her tall stiletto heels. She made her way down onto the sidewalk, muttering under her breath and slurring her words. She tossed her ratty dark hair behind her shoulder and rubbed at her smudged eyes. Fixing her slinky red dress, she clung to the wall of the club as she walked.

Something moved in the shadows of the alley.

Before the woman could even scream, she was pulled into the darkness of the alley. She tripped on her heels and fell to the concrete, Eyes wide and full of fear, the tall man standing above her chuckled and smirked.

She didn’t see the glint of the knife until it was within her. She was stabbed multiple times in the chest and abdomen before she was stripped of her clothes and her vocal chords and abdominal organs were ripped out with bare hands. Etched with jagged cuts extending from outward, she lay on the concrete smiling, her insides spilling onto the pavement.

The murder weapon was left in her hand, one of her eyeballs hanging from its socket.

There was no blood left on the scene…

Or within her body.

*

Chanyeol woke up too early. It was still dark outside, and the sun was barely creeping up the horizon. He groggily rubbed at his eyes as he sat up in bed. 

Chanyeol stared at his sheets as his brain slowly woke up. He yawned and stared outside of the window, where the world was still asleep.

Chanyeol stood up and sat at the windowsill, like he had a few nights before. The dark pitch blackness of the night faded into a grey, and the moon was replaced with a happy, shining yellow orb. He stared outside as the sun rose, the sky splattered with orange, pink, and purple swatches of paint. 

Chanyeol watched as the birds flew in the trees, and he could hear a rooster crowing somewhere in the distance.

The sky turned back into its normal shade of blue. The beautiful masterpiece of colors had gone away too quick…

Chanyeol hugged his knees to his chest and rested his head on his knees. 

It was such a shame something so beautiful never lasted long…

Chanyeol decided it was time to get ready for school. Chanyeol’s chest, which had felt so empty before bounced at the thought. Chanyeol was confused at the feeling. He had never actually wanted to go to school before. This was something entirely new. Wasn’t it that he used to call it Hellhole #2?!

Chanyeol chose not to linger on that thought too long and grabbed the day’s clothes and walked to the bathroom. He didn’t have to worry about the little kids at this time of the morning. They were probably still sleeping peacefully…

Chanyeol took a shower quickly and dressed. This seemed to be another one of those times when he was out the door bright and early and not scuffling and scavenging for his lost homework.

Chanyeol walked aimlessly down the streets, not a thought in his head. He could only hear his heart pumping solidly, nice and steady…

Chanyeol made it to school at least twenty or thirty minutes before the bell rang. He roamed the hallways, then decided to sit and wait in the cafeteria. 

He rested his arms on the table and his head on top of it, closing his eyes and wondering what had been making him feel different lately. 

“Chanyeol. Why is it that I always find you sleeping whenever I get here in the mornings? Do you not get enough rest at home?”

Chanyeol’s eyes flew open.

Baekhyun stood above him. His hair was wet and messy from waling in the morning breeze. He had small bags under his eyes and his lip puffed out slightly in a pout. He was dressed in an oversized T-shirt and a jacket one size too big. Something about him made Chanyeol’s heart race. 

Baekhyun crossed his legs over the table’s bench and rested his elbows and head in the same position as Chanyeol. Baekhyun stared at him, his face ridiculously close to the other boy's. Chanyeol took a sharp intake of breath, then shot up.

“I woke up pretty early today for some reason.” He laughed sheepishly, feeling uneasy. “What about you? You seem a bit tired yourself.”

Baekhyun sat up as well. “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep that well last night.”

“What, were you thinking too much about all of those books you read?”

“Why were you up so early? Were you too eager for breakfast?”

Chanyeol’s mouth hung open. “Touche.”

Baekhyun sipped his coffee and laughed. “I’m a savage. Deal with it.”

“Wow, I was unaware.”Chanyeol laughed. 

Being with Baekhyun made him forget everything else in the world. Everything seemed to melt away, and there was only one thing his world revolved around, and that was Baekhyun.

Chanyeol couldn’t think straight; when he was around, there was him, and only him. Even sitting next to him made his adrenaline spike. It made him feel crazy.

That what he was, Chanyeol thought, shaking his head and smiling, crazy. 

He interlaced his fingers together underneath the table. Chanyeol stared at them, feeling blood rise to his cheeks. What if the hand he was holding was not his own…but Baekhyun's?

Chanyeol shook his head, biting his lip and fighting the urge to squeal.

Chanyeol sneaked a glance at the boy his thoughts consisted of. Baekhyun was already staring back, his eyes wide. It made him look so innocent and cute. It gave Chanyeol’s heart a tight squeeze. Chanyeol averted his eyes and back to his intertwined hands under the table

Baekhyun made his heart flutter, and he didn’t know how to feel about it.

*

Baekhyun thought hard all day. He had been thinking all night, and continued to think. He thought during class and in the hallways. 

Baekhyun fiddled with his thumbs under the desk, sitting in the corner of his English class. He bit his lip over and over. He was completely restless.

Baekhyun couldn’t get his mind off of Park Chanyeol. Being with him made him feel a spark deep within him. He had never felt something so peculiar, and it was as if he craved to feel it more. 

Baekhyun didn’t know what it was. It seemed whenever Park Chanyeol was around, all coherent thought would leave him. He couldn’t think straight or breathe. Being with Chanyeol was a big roller coaster that he didn’t seem to want to get off of. 

Chanyeol… with his stupid messy hair that seemed so soft; his stupid, glowing, perfect skin; his stupid, white, big smile, and his stupid, adorably big ears. 

Baekhyun’s face grew hot and his hands flew to his face, surprised. 

Was Baekhyun blushing?

Embarrassed, Baekhyun covered his face with his hands and bit his lip. 

Why was it that he blushed when thinking about Chanyeol?!

He pressed his face against this desk and let the cold seep into his skin. He let a small sigh of relief escape from his lip. 

Baekhyun closed his eyes and his lips. He curled his fingers around the cuffs of his sweater and uncurled them. 

What was making him feel this way? It must be him attending high school. Yeah, that must be it. There are hormones flying all over the place. Are hormones contagious?

No, this will all be over soon. Baekhyun reassured himself. Surely…and soon.

A thought struck Baekhyun. It was a small thought, but it slowly grew into something that hit Baekhyun like a bulldozer and caused him to nearly jump up from his place in his desk. 

Baekhyun dwelled on it, shocked. 

He had read about in novels, and he had seen it lots of movies. Baekhyun thought that it was silly. To devote yourself to a person and throw everything away for that person, even your life and dedicate yourself to them was absolutely absurd. 

Baekhyun clutched at his chest as only one thing ran through his mind like clockwork. 

Chanyeol.

Chanyeol.

Chanyeol…!

Baekhyun buried his face in his arms and shook his head.

No…

No…

It couldn’t be…

Really…?

The bell rang, interrupting Baekhyun’s mini-monologue.

He jumped and followed Kyungsoo out of the door. He walked beside him, grateful for the silence the boy gave him. 

Baekhyun didn’t know what to feel, to think, or what to say. This couldn’t be happening.

He sat down on the roof and stared at his sandwich. He was so dumfounded he couldn’t even think about eating. 

It couldn’t be…

Baekhyun decided to ask Kyungsoo. Maybe what he was feeling in the pit of his stomach was indigestion, or constipation. Anything but…

“Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun blurted, cursing himself for not thinking of a subtle way of asking. 

“Do you know what love feels like?”

Baekhyun was surprised to see the usually impassive older boy blush. From the tips of ears to the top of his nose, his skin flushed a bright red. 

"It feels...warm."

"Kyungsoo..." Baekhyun tried to contain his laughter, distracting himself from his dilemma. "Why are you blushing?"

Kyungsoo fanned himself with one hand and covered the lower half of face with other, agitated. "It’s hot out here."

"It’s windy, Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo lowered his eyes, embarrassed, so Baekhyun tried to change the subject. "How do you know what it feels like, Kyungsoo? Have you ever dated anyone before?"

Kyungsoo smiled sadly to himself, playing with his thumbs. "No...I just... feel that way about someone."

Suddenly, it seemed as if Kyungsoo had experienced an epiphany. He quickly composed himself and leaned forward, his heart sinking. "Wait, why are you asking?" 
Baekhyun didn't have time to react, because the door to the roof opened, as it always did when something important was occurring.

*

Kyungsoo had his answer the moment the door opened.

Baekhyun eyes lit up and it seemed as if the whole atmosphere had changed. Baekhyun wasn't the person he was during class, totally indifferent, his face emotionless and brooding, eyes hollow. If Kyungsoo didn't know any better, he would have considered Baekhyun scary.

Baekhyun beamed, and Kyungsoo could feel the happiness seeping from the boy. He glowed, and his smile radiated brighter than Kyungsoo could ever imagine. 

Kyungsoo turned away, feeling sick to his stomach. He didn't have to turn to the door to know who made Baekhyun feel this way.

Kyungsoo lifted his head and met the eyes of the boy Baekhyun loved.

Chanyeol sat down beside Baekhyun and across Kyungsoo. He glanced at Baekhyun and waggled his eyebrows. He ruffled Baekhyun's hair and Baekhyun laughed shyly, covering his mouth with his hand.

Jongdae flicked Kyungsoo's shoulder. "Hey, Kyungsoo! Are you feeling well? You haven't been looking good. I mean, you never do but-"

Kyungsoo tuned Jongdae out and watched the pair in front of them. They didn't seem to be aware of anyone else. They were in their own little world, so content and carefree. 

Kyungsoo watched their interactions, soft and gentle, and almost hesitant, as if they were afraid to display their affection.

Kyungsoo stared above at the sky, praying for a miracle.

Baekhyun was in love with Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo dropped his eyes back to Chanyeol. Chanyeol chuckled, his face contorting cutely and his dorky smile plastered on his face.

And Chanyeol was in love with Baekhyun.

Chanyeol races to the railing, lifting his leg over it. "Bet you I can die from up here."

Baekhyun kicked Chanyeol in the shin. "Get down from there, idiot! I don't need to make a bet in order to know you're suicidal!"

Jongdae placed his hands firmly on the rail. "I'll shake the rail!"

"Jongdae what the f-!"

Kyungsoo laughed. 

It was loud and hearty. It caused everyone to stop and gape at Kyungsoo. They had never heard him laugh so genuinely before.

Kyungsoo was doubled over in laughter, clutching his abdomen. His shoulders bumped up and down, and he wiped at his eyes.

Kyungsoo smiled, "I'm sorry, please continue...I just thought of something funny."

The three glanced at each other; then, shrugging their shoulders, they continued their argument.

Kyungsoo watched eagerly as Baekhyun and Chanyeol hit each other, whiling and arguing. Baekhyun tugged at Chanyeol's shoulder, attempting to push him back onto the roof, while Chanyeol pushed him away as he attempted to bring his other leg over the rail. Jongdae just jiggled the rail back and forth, screaming like a child.

Kyungsoo shook his head and traced a heart in the pavement, completely numb.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were in love…huh?

Kyungsoo closed his eyes and grasped at his chest. It felt so hard to breathe, and his body ached as if the burden on his shoulders had become heavier.

Baekhyun was in love with Chanyeol…

“Kyungsoo!” 

Kyungsoo’s heart flipped, and he quickly lifted his face, a smile already dancing on the edge of his lips.

Chanyeol sat on the rail, his eyes focused on Kyungsoo, where they were meant to be. His eyes were bright and his face filled with purpose. He looked heavenly, his face beautifully proportionate and illuminated in the natural sunlight, his tie flying the wind, his hair tousled. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but sigh at the sight. 

“Should I backflip or dive off of the roof?”

Kyungsoo stood up. “Neither. I’ll push you.”

He shot a tentative glance at Baekhyun, who was already staring back at him.

But so was Kyungsoo.