I’m staring blankly in front of me for the past few seconds since I took my seat.

              No, there’s nothing interesting that can be found in front of me nor there is something written on the board. My mind is just floating somewhere else - still pondering about what Eunha-unnie have told me. Well, it’s just her guess anyway. An intelligent guess, she says. We might not know if it is true or it is just one of her speculations.

              Her speculations.

              I have heard some of it. And some mysteriously became right.

              Now, I wonder if those are just really her speculations or she just call them that to avoid some circumstances she doesn’t like.

              She is that clever anyway.

              It doesn’t make sense though if they are really born at the same day and from the same womb, because if ever, we could have met before, Eunha-unnie would have known, and if not, she would at least notice it. Star could even actually tell that to our faces, even in the most rude way if she and Kim Yerin aren’t close like ‘Hey bit*h, I’m your lost friend’s twin.’

              I think I could accept something like that.

              Of all the blows I have received in life, I think maybe I could accept something like that.

              But on my second thought, them, being twins, make sense too. They greatly resemble each other, except the hair color and some marks I thought she has is missing. Her eye color is different from what I have known too. Hers is blue, matching with her blonde hair, while the one I knew has her somehow dark brown orbs perfectly suiting her black hair. Well, that is how I saw Kim Yerin on those blurred scenes I got on my brain.

              My brain is kind of rusty. I wonder if I there is a medicine for that.

              Well, what am I even saying? Twins could be different from each other in some sort of way.

              I sighed, letting the air that I have been keeping out since I tried to think deeper seconds ago. I thought if I keep it with me I could have dive deeper. Somehow, it doesn’t work as if I’m swimming in the waters. But it feels like it is.

              I’m scared. I’m lost in that dark blue water with no one else and with nothing to hold onto to keep me afloat. I feel like if I didn’t put my head above the water I’ll die. But again, despite the fear, just like someone who lost something so dearly, I tried to hold my breath in and dive deeper in thoughts of getting that ‘thing’ back.

              Again, I found myself releasing a long frustrated breath. And for the record, I did that for about nine times already. It’s still too early, the class hasn’t even started and yet here I am in my ninth time of exhaling atoms of carbon dioxide in the air.

              I should plant a tree later so as to give some contributions on saving mother Earth.

              It’s too quiet in here that my exasperated release is audible. It’s probably somehow weird too that there are no even birds chirping outside. There are even few students in the hall. If this would go on like this, I might fall asleep and that clearly doesn’t give me the benefits of why I came here early.

              Where is she anyway? She usually comes here early and stays on that window.

              A ghost of a smile appeared for some seconds on my face as I stood up and went over that corner she used to stay, either be it standing or sitting on that frame of the opened window. My curiosity just reached its peak that it controlled my body and now I am standing on that same spot she would usually stand. What could be the reason why she is fond of looking out there so early in the morning when the class is still not yet starting? Then she would often tear her gaze away from that as soon as the clock ticks near 7 and as I and Yewon would take our seats.

              Well, it does make sense that she would leave that spot at that time we would arrive, since we usually arrive before the class starts. It is approximately the time where the professor might be walking his or her way towards our room. So, the oh so good student she is with that kind of image she has, of course, she would return to her seat and prepare to focus in class.

              I opened the window and let the gush of air flow inside, as I let it play with my hair. The feeling of the air of Seoul is really somewhat different compared to what I have felt on the other place that we used to stay. Still, I could say it is refreshing enough to get some greetings from the cool breeze in the morning.

              I stood exactly where I would see her, with the same angle, in an effort to mimic her as I searched for that interesting thing she is watching every morning. Is there a bird nest on some branches on the nearby tree? Is the school field visible from here? I tried to found it, whatever it is.

              I swear, I have put a lot of effort on finding that oh so interesting thing. I even craned my neck, stretched for a few mm if I could, tried different vertical angulations of line of sight and put some inches of my body out of the window but I did not see anything that could be in a level of ‘interesting’ – something worthy to be watched every morning. I swear I did, and you have to believe me.

              I hate to say this but... is this kind of thing somewhat based on a fairytale where it could only be seen by a person with a pure heart? I wanted to say I have a pure heart and that my mind is pure too, but I guess I can’t… since it won’t even show up.

              Instead of seeing that mysterious thing, I saw two or three black vans coming over the school, passing by the gates, while a crowd of students flock around it making it hard for them to move. My heart skipped a beat upon seeing that. I don’t understand but I felt like someone just came for competition.

              I frowned. Sometimes, I do hate competitions. I have this feeling that it has something to do with my past life. Can we live without it? If we can’t, then I hope somehow it could be friendly.

              I arched my brows as I told myself not to bother about it. Sometimes, I just can’t stop thinking more about a certain thing, I always try to think deeper into it… and I guess, there are times it is not good. I told myself it is nothing out of ordinary anyway since this school isn’t just an ordinary one to begin with. And here I am, disappointed about not being able to find it, I just shrugged and returned to my throne I have left, leaving the window open.

              If she isn’t there, then I might as well be the one to open that window in honor of her.

              Isn’t she getting tired of what she is always looking at anyway?

              I stared at the phone which I just took out of my pocket. The reflection on its black screen is greeting me with a face which is as weird as it may sound; I even asked it to whom it belongs. The pretty girl inside has eyebags that are still somehow visible. Why did I even stay up late? Now I look like a fish struggling for oxygen and water with its remaining energy depleting in a rapid rate.

              Why am I even ranting as if I could blame myself for that? It's not my fault those scenes on my mind resurfaced again.

              That kind of reminds me to express my gratitude later to Eunha-unnie for fixing my face. I definitely wouldn’t want to look like a person starting an apocalypse, looking like a zombie is walking out under the bright sun on hunt for pretty people with tasty brains.

              The bubble of thought I’m in popped off as soon as my ears perked up upon hearing that same shrill voices of the crowd I got accustomed with in the morning. Maybe because of annoyance, or it is just