I am falling for Jung Yerin.

         Well, AM I?

[SINB POV]

                 “Go and freshen yourself. I’ll go downstairs and prepare for breakfast.” She playfully smiled before she turned around and close the door.

                Me? Well, I just stood there and contemplate about how my heart for so long have dance again. The last time I thought it beat like this is when there’s Kim Yerin beside me, along with Eunha-unnie. My brain must have tried to forget it, just like how it did for the past memories that I can’t comprehend why it shouldn’t want to stay in the labyrinths of my brain. But it can’t.

                Crazy as it may sound, I’ve memorized how it beats for her, just like how I have known how to breathe for oxygen.

                   And right now, my heart is dancing again to that rhythm just because there is someone with the same name, but different person. This time it’s a girl called Jung Yerin.

                Sometimes, I wonder if this is destiny playing with me.

                But somehow, I think this is God’s plan so I can move out of that place and time that I have been stuck with all my life. Standing there, as if she’ll come back. I still do hope she will.

                I’m still here waiting for her even though I had fallen for a different Yerin. I know she’ll be happy. All I had is a one-sided feeling for her anyways. She’ll be fine with it.

                So, where am I?

                Ah, right. I have to take a bath. I have to clean myself and start anew.

                As soon as I got into the bathroom and locked the door, my eyes scanned the area. She has a jacuzzi on the end and a door near it, probably that’s what she’s saying as the door for her walk-in closet. I looked around and find duck designs. She must have love ducks.

                Maybe that’s why it feels like I have known her before. Maybe the similarities are really just striking out. It is striking out that it is odd already. But, nah, I shouldn’t bother with that.

                After doing my business, I walked inside the walk-in closet. Her closet actually looks like mine except that it is probably twice large than the size of mine. Well, that’s normal since she’s a celebrity and I’m just an aspiring one. I searched for a simple yet comfortable one since it’s rude to choose something better. I decided on a blue green sando top and ripped short shorts that I saw in there. The underwear? Well, embarrassingly, she has already set a pair for me. It’s a good thing we’re kinda in the same size.

                I was about to go out when something on the far side of the closet caught my attention. It was a small clothe, probably fit for a toddler. Like Eunha-unnie. I stifled a giggle. That was a nice one. It has a small word written diagonally artistically yet somehow carelessly on the left side of it. Just right where the heart is situated. It’s a little childish but well it looks fashionable. I approve. I grinned before I angled my head a little as I thought about the reasons why would she have this kind of thing.

                Why would she have something like this? A niece? Nah, it’s not wrapped for it to be a gift.

                Don’t tell me she has a kid already?

                Wow, SinB. The kind of idea you have is so much. I shake my head slowly as I dismissed the stupid idea I have. It must be from a fan.

                I left the shirt back to where it was situated, with the same manner I found it. I was about to step out again from this huge closet but I felt something is pulling my shirt, making me take a last long glance on that small top. It is weird but I felt something tugging the strings on my heart.

                But I pulled myself before anything else. As I have said it is weird and I have to pull myself to Earth before I became weirder. I closed my eyes, silently reprimanding myself from snooping on her stuff. That is invading other’s privacy. The top is probably just cute so you’re attracted to it. And it’s black. That’s why. Just that SinB.

               After some years, I finally went out of her walk-in closet. Of course, that’s sarcastic. I could have died there if I really took years for just that. So, I went back to her room and my eyes automatically take a glance around.

                Everything seem to be in place since the last time I came here. There, near her bed, is a black paired with a pale yellow color desk. It has nothing on top of it except a white laptop. I’ve looked on the small cabinet beside it that I presume she reserved for books. I browse through the organized books and saw a familiar worn out notebook. Why is it familiar? Nah, don’t ask me. I just felt like it. Probably, I saw it from the bookstore while I’m looking for a good book similar to Harry Potter.

                I tore my gaze on the books and it landed on the bed where we slept minutes ago. Oh my, I’m getting red. Why is my brain like this? Well, it’s really something to be embarrassed anyway. Considering that I woke up with that position with her and add the fact that we’re somewhat a bit . I walked towards it and fix the pillows and the comforter we used. The scent is definitely calming. (And familiar…) I wonder what she uses for this. I prefer to think that it’s what she uses for laundry than thinking that it is her scent. Though, honestly, it also smells like her.

                Remembering something, my eyes check the wall that had me shook the last time I went here. And again, I’m shook. Not that I am that innocent for seeing those kinds of things but… the photos weren’t there. In that wall, photos of kids were drawn there. There was really one spooky thing. I saw two kids talking in front of a graveyard. Can you believe that? Yes, a graveyard. It is spooky but well, I found myself walking nearer to be able to observe some more. The two cute children are familiar and so was the backdrop. I wonder why.

                I looked at the frame next to it because it felt like they are connected. But I guess not. because it’s a different one. It is now a painting instead of a photo, but the backdrop is still familiar. In it was a girl on her back with long black hair painting something. I squint my eyes to see better but the painting of the little girl is incomplete. I look above it to look what it she trying to paint and it surprised me that I can’t stop my jaw from falling.

                Maybe that’s why the backdrop seems familiar. Because, where that little girl is painting is the same place that Eunha unnie had. That painting of a tree in her room that always gets my curiosity. Especially that silver little vault behind it.

                 I look at everything hanged in there and they seem to tell a story.

                The first framed painting showed a small girl crying while the second one shows another girl sitting beside the crying girl. Her face is obviously made to be funny. I wonder why. Perhaps it’s to make the girl stop crying. That’s sweet. I look at the next one, kinda excited to know what will happen next.

                But it only puzzled me out.

               What is puzzling in it is that there are now three kids on it. They seem to be happy and laughing.

               But the next framed artwork forcefully tugged something in my heart. Maybe because, I see my past in it. Or, maybe because I saw the most beautiful thing I have looked forward to in my past. I saw those 3 kids writing something in a notebook.

                 Just like us…

               It’s not that clear but I know somehow the painting feels sad, like after that they haven’t met each other. They didn’t meet at all. Like, it was a promise to meet but fate has decided to play with them.

                Why are those memories even coming back at me? And why am I relating my story to these paintings? I should tell Eunha-unnie about these memories that I remember already. She might know some things I don’t know.

                I went out of her room since making her wait for so long is disrespectful. She’s already generous enough to let me sleep here, take a bath and even wear her clothes so the least I could do is to be respectful and cooperative.

                I go down the stairs and plop myself at the sofa in the living room. I forgot where the kitchen where so it’s best to just stay in here rather than go look for it. I could be lost considering how large this house might be.  

               I’m getting bored, and knowing me, I couldn’t stay put without doing anything for minutes. I stand up and decided to look around in the living room. But as soon as I did that. I saw a pastel colored laptop set on top of the desk. Beside it was a jewelry box and I disappointedly can’t stop my curious self as I opened the box.

               And again, I’m shook. I guess there are a lot of interesting and surprising things with her.

               What I saw inside the box isn’t the typical shining glimmering diamonds or the ‘never-going-to-rust’ gold. I saw a necklace - a typical and simple one. It looks like it has a partner or something since it looks like the pendant is a key.

              I thought she is not in any relationship right now, then why a ring?

              I saw a small name engraved on it so I squint my eyes to read it.

               “Done snooping on my stuff?” A voice said coming from my back.

               I almost jump and let go of the box. . I couldn’t even read the name. That was really a surprise. I turned to her and saw her standing by the door, her arms crossed in front of her.

               She must be mad. That is what I thought.

               But she isn’t in an inch mad, which made me sigh in relief. She smiled and walked towards me. Then she gets the box and closed it. And again, I couldn’t stop the curious me. I guess, curiosity could really kill the cat. Well, if I’m a cat, I was probably a pretty one.

               “May I know what was that necklace?”

               She looked at me for a moment, setting her eyes directly into mine for some seconds before she looked away. She looked on the direction of the wall I didn’t notice before. There, hung another painting, which I might say that it really spooked me out.

               The similarities and the familiarity are so weird that I’m starting to doubt things.               

               Would you believe it if I told you that I saw the same tree hanged on the wall just above the staircase? The only difference they had is that Eunha-unnie had it painted while this one looks like a photo. Also, this one looks recent as the tree changed already. I just recognized it because the angle looks the same and the details around it.

               “It is supposed to be a secret but I’ll tell you. No matter how childish you would view it, this…” She trailed off. “This is my most prized possession. It is my treasure.”

               “I – uh, why?” I asked again. Don’t blame me, it’s just normal to ask things especially if you’re this curious and confused as I am.

               “Well… It was given to me by my first and only love.” She said with a tone that for me is something I can’t grab a hold on. It sounds wistful, lonely and yet hopeful.

               “Oh…” I said softly. I remembered hearing in my drug state last night that she had a relationship before. Well, ‘taken’ is the word but that is kind of the same, isn’t it? “I – I’m sorry for asking. I mean, if it made you think of some things you don’t want to remember. I mean, if they are bad or painful. Or is he dead? I – I’m sorry.” Great. My words just jumbled out.

               She giggled. “You’re cute.” She commented, plopping herself on the soft sofa. “Nope. It’s alright to ask.”

               She grinned at me and patted the space beside her and so I obliged and sit there.

               “She’s very much alive. She just… well…” She ran a hand through her wet hair. “She went away.”

               I suddenly get sad on what she said so I decided to open my mouth to say something comforting but she interrupted me.

               “Well, that’s wrong. I think I’m the one who went away.” She looked at me and added, “Not that I wanted to.”

                “Where did you go then?” I asked.

               “I think I went somewhere far, somewhere safe. I don’t know if it was for them or if it was for me. I was just told and made to run away.” She sadly lowered her head.

                “But when I returned, I found myself in a place where memories are forgotten and unbroken promises are kept inside a capsule. I found myself where first kisses and first love are sealed away.” She stated as she stared longingly at the same picture situated on the second floor, just after the staircase. She slowly tears her gaze from there and her eyes settled to me. Her eyes looked directly in my eyes, softly and yearningly, as if she’s searching something in mine.

               But, unfortunately, I know no matter how she searched on mine, she wouldn’t find anything but just sadness masked with a happy yet cold façade.

               “How about you? Do you remember your first kiss, HwangBi?”

               My eyebrows immediately meet its counterpart. They formed a crease in between as that name sounds a bell in my head. How the did she know that?

               “H-how did you know that?” I asked, flabbergasted.

               But she only hummed questioningly at me, then she smiled innocently. “I’m just asking though.”

               I dismissed the feeling though it really bothered me. But, at the second thought, people could easily have thought of that nickname anyway. Especially if they know about Eunha getting the same name as mine.

               To be fair, I thought hard about her question. First kiss? I have done it before, well that’s what Eunha have told me. But, sadly, my childhood was something that I regret forgetting but I did. It is like it’s covered with fog that the coldne