Teach Me How To Love
Midnight Illusions Collection of Short Stories
Story for grace sally
Written by SHINeeDreams
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"I love you!" All the Super Junior fans would scream as they saw the members walking along the streets. There were so many fans around; I couldn't quite get a close look so I found myself pushing and shoving through the humongous crowd. After a long while, I got close enough to touch one of them. I reached out, holding a pen and paper.
"Henry! Can I have your autograph?" I was his biggest fan, and I finally got a chance to see him up close. But all he did was walk right past me like I was nonexistent, even though I was sure we made eye contact. I knew it was silly to make a big deal out of it, but I was really disappointed anyway; it was one of the biggest disappointments I've encountered in my life...
I got home all teary-eyed while my mom was just staring at me, worried.
"What happened Grace Sally, dear?"
"I don't want to talk about it..." And I walked straight to my room. I've been a fan of Henry for the longest time and all he does is ignore me? That arrogant jerk... I sat on my bed trying to process what had happened that day. But the more I thought about it, the more I was down.
From that day on, I decided that I would give up being a Henry fan.
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A few weeks passed and I was able to somewhat get rid of my "fangirlness" for Henry. Eventually, I started liking Donghae so much that it kind of became an obsession, which led to my friends not wanting to talk to me anymore, telling me I was crazy. I didn't really care; whenever I heard his voice on TV or saw him smiling, it would make me smile back like a dork. I rubbed it off and just continued to live my life the way it was before, even though it was hard at times.
Sadly, I ended up becoming somewhat of a loner. I always went to my "spot," a small hidden area near my house, after school or just whenever I felt depressed. But soon I decided to get music lessons to help me cheer up a bit. I've had an interest for music for quite some time so I thought it would be a great opportunity for me to try it out. Unfortunately, I was an utter failure.
I tried my best but no matter what I did to improve, I would end up doing pretty badly, and I didn't know why. This started becoming a continuous trend for me that I eventually quit. My mom would constantly bug me, telling me how time and money she spent just to get me in. Eventually, I tried to learn on my own, but that didn't quite work either. My mom saw this and thought that I needed help (lots of help), so she decided on her own to do something about it.
One day I came home from school to see two pairs of unfamiliar shoes sitting on the front doorway.
"Mom, do we have...Oh My Gosh." I looked in front of me to see my "ex-bias," Henry, sitting on our couch in the living room.
"Grace Sally, what's the matter, dear?"
"Can you excuse us?" I said while completely dragging my mom off the couch to my room. "Mom!" I was furious that she would do something like this to me without my consent at all.
"Why are you so mad? I know you like him so I asked my friend to see if he's willing to give you some music lessons. Besides, he IS her son." She tricked me AND she never told me this fact before; it made me burst even more at this point.
"I'm not going to!" was all I could say to her because I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of Henry, and I didn't want my mom to know that I was fangirlling over someone else, Donghae.
"Grace Sally, don't be so rude! They're our guests, and they came all the way over here just for you! Now go out there and greet your teacher!" I walked outside, realizing that I could not win against my own mom. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what's up with her; she must be nervous to see her teacher or something. Grace Sally, come over and sit, dear."
"It's no problem. So shall we get started?" Henry had such a calm voice; he was just so different from the last time I saw him.
"You two go inside. I'll get some beverages ready."
"NO! I mean, can't we just do it in the living room?" I really didn't want him to see all the posters in my room. But my mom forced us into my room, telling me that she had a guest to talk to. So in the end, he saw everything, from the posters to the other little collectors items I had of him; it was truly an embarrassment to me.
But this was only half the embarrassment. He gave me a little test for my lessons but I did a terrible job. I completely bombed the test, and he decided to go "bad cop" on me. He was so stern, and it seemed like he was giving me stuff that was impossible for me to figure out; it was going to be a lot tougher than I thought. Whatever happened to the calm teacher Henry?
This continued for a while but eventually I got the hang of it, and I began to improve slightly. It wasn't that big of an improvement, but I was still very proud of myself, seeing how badly I did before...
The more Henry came over to tutor me, the more I began to feel that we were getting closer and closer. He even knew about "my spot," and it wasn't so uncomfortable telling him about how I was a loner. And the best part of it all was that we were able to talk to each other like we were close friends. Because of this relationship that we had, I even got the chance to meet some other Super Junior members, like Siwon, Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, Zhou Mi, and even Donghae! They were all very nice, and we even got the chance to exchange numbers. I guess they knew about how lonely I was; they told me I could text them anytime I needed someone to talk to. I was especially happy when I had the opportunity to talk to my now bias, Donghae.
I was so happy to be able to talk to him that I ended up buying poeters and magazines with him in them a few days later. Unfortunately that day was my tutor day. I completely forgot about it and was ready to take down Henry's posters, but Henry came in a little too soon.
"What are you doing?" I froze, realizing what was going on. He came in in the middle of me standing on top of my bed, peeling the posters off the walls.
"N...nothing. Let's get started!" I laughed awkwardly and took a seat to prepare for my next lesson. He tried hard to make the awkward situation better, but it didn't seem to get any better.
"Hey, how do you have so many posters? Don't you get sick of it all? Plus, you have more right there," he said, pointing at the big bag of Donghae stuff.
"Not really. I enjoy collecting more. Besides, I won't get sick of them since I will have new ones up real soon," I replied without thinking about what I just said to him.
"Oh my goodness. Those Donghae ones? Seriously, Grace Sally, you are like some kind of crazy person whenever I see you like this." He laughed it off, saying it as a joke, but I fliched a bit as soon as he said that. The thing I hated to hear the most was hearing that I was crazy; my friends said that to me before they all decided not to hang out with me. I really didn't want to remember that moment of my life, and him telling me that made me really upset.
"Henry. Leave," I told him in a very firm voice. This made the environment awkward once again but at that point, I didn't care at all.
"What? We aren't done yet."
"I said LEAVE! Are you deaf?! Leave!" I went straight to my bathroom, feeling tears starting to run down my cheeks. I locked myself inside and waited for him to leave. As soon as I heard footsteps walking out the door, I went out, grabbed my sweater, and went to my "spot." I went there everytime I felt like crying, and that day was one of those days.
After that incident, I didn't want to talk to Henry anymore; we even "took a break" from music lessons. He tried attempting to talk to me, but I just wasn't in the mood to; I wasn't ready to talk to him because I still couldn't forgive him for what he said to me, even though I knew he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. I was alone once again, but for the very first time, I minded because I didn't have anything to get my mind off that thought. Not even Donghae could heal my heartbreak.
I felt that Henry and I had some kind of friendship going; I even started to some feelings for him, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I didn't deserve to have any friends around me. Why was he so into my business anyway? It was my choice to have all of these posters; it was none of his business.
During the days I didn't talk to him, I kept having thoughts about him. Why was he so inconsiderate about everything I did? Why was he so rude? It made me feel like a loser, but I began to think that he never really was my friend to begin with. While Siwon, Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Zhou Mi texted me, asking if I was okay, Henry didn't even bother.
I was reading the texts the other members were sending me while walking home from school when I bumped into someone.
"Oh, excuse me..." I said, but when I looked up, I saw Henry standing there.
"Grace Sally, can we talk?"
"I have nothing to talk about," I said while trying to leave, but he stopped me. He really must have had something to say, so I gave in to listen to what he had to say. We ended up going to my house to talk since it was the nearest place to go to. At least it gave me a chance to know if he actually thought of me as a friend. Before he could say anything, I wanted to check first.
But the words didn't come out quite right...
"Henry, why are you into my business?" was what came out, and I knew he took it the wrong way. I knew that it was the wrong thing to say, but I couldn't chance it now; he seemed pretty angry. He came over to work things out, but because of my comment, it ruined everything. "Henry, I didn't mean to..." but he didn't want to listen anymore. We ended up arguing in the end, and it got worse when the topic of Donghae came up...again.
I was too into the angry mood that I ended up saying things without even thinking about it. I acted like Donghae and I knew each other well when I've only talked to him once in my life (the time when Henry introduced me to the other Super Junior members). Yeah, I had his number but I was always afraid to call him or even text him. I liked him, but only as a fan. Nothing more. To tell you the truth, the one I really liked was Henry but at times, he made me feel like I was not special enough for him, which made me hesitate. I was so confused.
The argument got worse and it ended up with him yelling, "If you like Donghae so much, go to him and don't come running to me!" and he walked out on me. I didn't know what to do. It was now too late to aplogize and at that moment it was too upsetting to do anything. I sat on my bed trying to process everything; it all went by too fast. I didn't mean to make the mood like this. It started out with me wanting to get some answers but I made it end with Henry hating me more than ever now. And this time, I really had nobody to go to.
The next few days were spent with me feeling down and going to my "spot" right after school. I didn't feel like doing anything, which led to my grades slowly dropping. For some reason, my heart felt like it had a hole in the middle, like something was missing in my life. I knew exactly what that was: Henry. I really started to miss him.
Eventually, I became too ill to go to school. My mom tried to take care of me at home, but because she was too busy at work, I ended up being left alone at home most of the time. The worst part of it all was that I ended up having dreams of Henry every single time I fell asleep.
Then one day, I woke up to see Henry's face looking down at me with a worried expression.
"H...Henry?"
"Why are you putting yourself through all this?"
"What are you doing here?"
"Your mom told me everything. I hear you were calling my name in your sleep." He giggled a little. I was happy to see his smiling face again.
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't speak. You'll drain yourself out even more. And I'm the one to apologize; I made you like this..." He looked like he was about to say something more but he stopped himself. "I...I have a confession to make. You know why I was into your business? It's because...I like you."
"Henry...I..."
"Didn't I tell you not to drain yourself out? Well, don't worry. I'll make you all better. I'll be the one to protect you from now on. You're mine now!" I was glad that this argument was over, and I was happy to see him by my side. I smiled and realized how much I need him in my life. When I had nobody to go to, he was always there for me, and now he always will be. "I'll go get you a glass of water. Stay in bed, okay?"
After he walked out of my room, I felt my cellphone ring; it was Ryeowook.
Grace Sally, some losers (aka Siwon and Zhou Mi) blabbed about you liking Henry. He might be on his way to your house...just wanted to give you a heads up. ^^
-Ryeowook
I laughed it off and was about to put my phone down when I heard another ring.
I would like to apologize for my clumsy hyungs...
-Kyuhyun
P.S. They apologize oh-so-much!
I put my phone down on my drawer when Henry came in. "Grace Sally, I order you to stay in bed and not move! I'm officially your hands until you feel better! Now let me in!" He climbed into my bed and wrapped his arms around me, and I fell into a deep sleep with no worries. I realized how important he was to me, and I also realized Henry taught me something very important besides just music:
Henry...taught me how to love...
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