29.

"Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.

Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming.

All we can do is learn to swim."

The funeral was held two days later. Many people came to offer their condolences.

It was all too much. Too sudden. Too painful.

Too painful to comprehend,

Too painful to accept,

Too painful to deal with.

Sehun’s tears never ceased. (They never did.)

His eyes were swollen.

His heart was broken. It was in pain. In excruciating pain. But Rei, Emma and Kai acted like a good support system. Their presence comforted him (greatly).

He wasn’t sleeping either (neither was his father for that matter), only giving in at times due to exhaustion. The household was in a deep state of sadness beyond words. It was suffocating. Unbearable.

His mother’s absence filled every corner and every room. The house was empty without her. He missed her. He missed her laugh. Her smile. Her warm embrace. Her wise words. Her everything.

He missed his mother.

He missed everything about her. Every single thing.

Tell me, how will he be able to carry on without her?

How?

How will he be able to move on?

He knows he has to. (He has to.)

But how?

How?

The pain was insufferable. Most of the times, he felt like dying. (And maybe in a way he was.)

But can a person die from grief? Can they? No, no they can’t.

Though it feels as if they can but they don’t. (They don’t.)

A heart doesn’t actually break. Though sometimes your chest aches as if it’s breaking.

Grief dims with time. (It becomes less and less apparent.)

Eventually you’ll be able to smile again. You’ll be able to laugh again. To live again.

Eventually everything will be better (it will). But not today. And certainly not tomorrow. Today you get to mourn the loss of a loved one.

Eventually all of the bad memories will go away.

When Sehun will think of his mother. He won’t think of the time she spent in the hospital. He won’t think of her illness. He won’t think of her suffering, of her tears. He’ll only think of her smile. Her laughter. Her vibrant self. Her love for dancing.

Only the good memories will remain. (After all, they are the ones that matter the most.)

With time, the pain will be no more (it’ll lessen). And whenever you recall your loved one, you’ll be able to smile. To truly smile.

Time does heal all wounds. Eventually everything will be okay. You’ll move on. You’ll live. You’ll be happy again. Just not now. (Not now.)

And that’s okay. That’s how life is.

Things were still awkward between Sehun and his father. But they were working things out (slowly but surely). They were each other’s pillar of support. Their relationship as father and son was slowly being restored. After all, they only had each other to lean on. They were the only family they had left.

Earlier in the evening Mr. Oh had retreated to his room wanting to get some much needed rest. The house was quiet aside from the ruckus Rei and Kai were making in the kitchen. The duo had volunteered to make dinner (seeing how they were the only ones who could whip up a decent meal) leaving Emma and Sehun behind. The two friends were lounging on a sofa in the living-room. The TV was on but neither one of them paid attention to the show that was playing. The sound served more as a distraction than anything else.

A question had been nagging at the back of Sehun’s mind and Emma was the only one who could answer it. After all, she had experienced the same sense of loss Sehun had. She understood what he was going through. She could easily relate. She could help and ease his worries.

Sehun sighed before opening his mouth, “Does it get better?”

He looked at the girl who sat beside him.

She knew what he was talking about.

The grief.

Does it actually go away?

“You can’t get over the loss of a loved one,” she spoke in a gentle voice, “You just learn to live with it.”

Sehun blinked his eyes, trying to absorb her words.

“But eventually you’ll heal and you’ll rebuild yourself around the loss you’ve suffered,” she gave him a smile, “You’ll be whole again.” But never the same.

She took his hand in hers as she continued, “Just know that the ones you love never truly leave you, you can always find them in here,” she put a hand over his heart, In your heart.

That made him smile.

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