11.

The brunette came home and found her mother passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of vodka on the floor beside her. With a sigh, she grabbed a blanket from the back of the sofa and covered her mother’s sleeping figure. She then crouched down in front of her and gently brushed aside the hair over her right cheek, “why are you doing this to yourself mom?” Rei said quietly, her voice laced with sadness.

Why are you doing this to me?

Why?

“I know you’re in pain,”

I know,

I am too.

“I know you’re hurt,”

I know,

I am too.

But you can’t see that, can you?

Can you?

You don’t see me, do you?

Do you?

The brunette blinked back her tears, “alcohol is not the answer,”

It’s not,

It really isn’t,

And you know that, don’t you?

Deep down you do,

You do,

(You do.)

“Do you even realize it’s bringing us further apart?”

Do you?

Tell me,

Do you?

“Is that what you want?”

Is it?

(Is it?)

“Well you know what I want?”

Do you?

I don’t think you do.

A bittersweet smile formed on her lips, “I want my mom back,”

I want the old you back,

And not this,

(Not this,)

Not the drunkard you became.

“Your rent is long overdue,”

The brunette anxiously bit her lip, “I know and I’m working on it, you’ll get the money on Monday at the latest,”

Her landlord sighed, “Fine, but if I don’t get it by Monday I’m going to have to evict you,”

The brunette nodded her head, let’s hope it won’t come to that.

Rei finished the last dish and hung the dish towel up to dry. She could hear her mother’s drunken voice from the living room. She had been drinking none-stop for the past hour or so–nothing new there. It would be a miracle to find her sober these days.

With a sigh Rei walked into the living room. She found her mother stretched out on the couch with an empty glass in her hand.

“Mom,”

The woman didn’t spare her a glance and reached for the vodka bottle to refill her glass.

“Mom,” the brunette called again, louder this time.

Her mother ignored her and solely focused on filling her glass.

The brunette took a step closer and fisted her hands at her sides, anger bubbling inside of her at a breathtaking speed, “for the love of God would you stop drinking?!” Rei said angrily, snatching the bottle away from her.

“Give it!” Her mother said, expanding her arm while remaining seated on the couch.

“No!” her daughter exclaimed, putting it behind her back.

“Give it now!” her mother said, getting up and walking towards her.

Rei scoffed and shook her head, “you want it that much?” her lips curved into a small, mocking smile, “here take it,” she then dropped the vodka bottle. The bottle hit the floor, shattering.

Her mother glared at her, “what did you do?!” she screamed desperately and angrily. Dropping to her knees, she began picking up the broken pieces of glass.

The brunette blinked in disbelief, “is it that important to you?”

It is, isn’t it?

More than me.

Rei felt tears of frustration stinging her eyes, “Do you know I dropped out of school?” she bit her lip to keep from crying, “Of course you don’t. How could you? You’re barely conscious these days” she then smiled, a bittersweet smile, “Do you know that we might get evicted soon? Do you? Of course you don’t. You know nothing at all,” a tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it away, “Do you know that I work three jobs to support us? Do you? You don’t. Of course you don’t. You’re not even listening to me, are you?”

Her mother was too busy picking up the shards of glass. She barely registered anything her daughter was saying.

“You’re not the only one who’s in pain. You’re not the only one who’s hurting. I’m hurting too goddamn it!” I’m hurting too, “Dad left me too you know…not just you,” he left me too, “You lost your husband and I lost my father, did you know that?” Did you? The brunette sniffled, “No. You didn’t. You were too busy wallowing in your own pity-party to see. To care.”

Her words were met with silence.

“I don’t know who you are anymore. And I don’t think I can take this anymore.”

I can’t,

I just can’t,

I’m sorry.

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