Dream
Same, but DifferentClosing the door, I pick up the creepy message again and crumple it before throwing it into the bin. I sigh. As I stand in the middle of the room, I take a look around the full yet empty apartment. Quietly heading into my room, I change into comfortable go-out clothes. Wearing comfortable shoes, I bring with me only my phone and earphones as I leave the house.
“The number you have dialled is unavailable…” The same boring voice answers Soo’s phone for the third time. The plan was to go watch the band’s performance today but I have no idea where it is. If Soo isn’t answering, I figured the rest of the guys would be busy too so I hadn’t bothered calling them. I now have nowhere to go and nothing to do but I don’t want to go home. Regretting that I hadn’t scheduled any jobs for today, I randomly choose a direction and start walking. Scrolling around my playlists, I decide on my newly downloaded Bangtan songs.
“Hey you, what’s your dream?”
Rap Mon starts the song.
“I want a big house, big cars and big rings
But actually, I don’t have any big dreams.”
Thinking about it, do I even have any dreams now? After I gave up on my one and only, that is.
“What is the you that you’ve dreamed of?
Who do you see in the mirror?”
Sometimes I feel like I’m not me anymore.
“You don’t want to study
But you’re scared to quit school?”
Business has never been my field of interest. But what else can I do? My dad’s not around now, but it doesn’t mean that he’s gone forever.
“Ask yourself if you’ve ever
Worked hard for anything.”
Have I…? I don’t know.
“Sick of the same day, the repeating days
Grown-ups and my parents
Keep instilling confined dreams to me
Number one future career is a government worker?
It’s not a forced dream, a ninth inning relief pitcher.”
The lack of career prospects wasn’t the reason my dad was against me singing, though. Obviously, in this age and time, being a government worker is the “best” job anyone can get.
“Rebel against the hellish society,
Dreams are a special pardon
Ask yourself about your dream profile
Become the main subject of your life
That has always been suppressed.”
I still sing – just not professionally like I always wanted to.
“Stop hesitating, stop being indecisive.”
It’s time I made up my mind.
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