Would you still support my other kaisoo fics? *cries in Cantonese*

Anyway, as much of a commentwhore I am, please be noisy and bomb me with your long comments! For Wattpad users, I will be dedicating Chapters to some readers! So, Who is it?*laughs like a retarded dolphin*

ps: sehun's not a prosecutor, he's an officer. gotta edit it. and put a prosecutor too. 

;

"What time are you all coming? I should have thirty minutes in allowance since I need to come back as early as I can to check on him." It was seven thirty in the morning but Sehun had already his ears on the phone and hands peeling an orange for Kyungsoo. "So?"

Minseok hoots from the other line. "You're Sehun right? The Officer in charge?"

"Yeah."

"We're almost there. It's just, Junmyeon's not driving and ing Kim Jongdae isn't driving either so...What room was it again?" Minseok asked, his eyes shifted towards the side mirror and found the two giving each other a look.

"112."

Sehun placed the peeled orange on the small table beside Kyungsoo's bed. He sets the small pot of sunflower aside and heaves a sigh, ending the call. He wasn't that close to Minseok yet but due Junmyeon, he had already made a few conversations with him.

Sehun glanced at the sleeping lawyer. His hand was on his belly and head almost falling from the pillow. Sehun grinned as he gently moved Kyungsoo's titled head to the spot where he think is the angle good for his hyung. He examined Kyungsoo's peaceful face.

"Your looks don't bite when you're asleep." Sehun murmured. He had been watching Kyungsoo sleep for almost four days and he doesn't regret staring at the piece of art for a while. He totally loved the way Kyungsoo's lips would part with a soft snore coming out, his chest would rise and fall and how Kyungsoo's nose sometimes scrunch whenever the lights are too agonizing for him when it's suddenly .

He secretly grabbed Kyungsoo's other hand and ran down his fingers through the spaces. "Let's both see if second chances do exist." He continued caressing Kyungsoo's hand not knowing that his action had already awakened the sleeping lawyer. His heart fluttered for a moment as he peaked through half lidded eyelids.

Kyungsoo thought that it felt good to have someone caress his hand again. It's been so long that he felt empty but then, was he ready to fill those spaces with someone else's touch and not Jongin's anymore?

Maybe.

But then another thought splashed inside Kyungsoo's head and that was someone might knock and come inside.

He counted up to three and when Sehun's fingers are softly and calmly intertwined by his, he suddenly pressed down his own set of fingers with great force causing a yelp from the other and also a face with a mix of amusement and shock.

"Y-You're a-awake!?" Sehun stuttered and eventually removed his grip from the elder. "Yah! You should've talked to me. You scared----"

"You sneaky bastard." Kyungsoo shot back. "Are you ually frustrated that you're harassing me?"

"Excuse me? I didn't harass you!" Sehun defended but was still guilty of what he did.

"You didn't ask for my permission!"

"W-Well I---" Sehun felt that his tongue was tangled by senseless words. He cannot fight back since he knew he wouldn't win anyways. He stomped his feet and flicked his tongue childishly. "F-Fine! Sue me then! See you at the court!"

This attitude had Kyungsoo laughing so hard.

He never thought he'd say this but Sehun looked so amusing when he's stuttering.

Kyungsoo's laugh was heard from the four corners of the room. Sehun was dying of embarrassment but he must make a stand of what he did. It was when he had already gathered the courage to tell why he did that, a loud knock was already heard from the door, stopping Sehun from his confession.

"Kyungsoo!"

"Aww Hey Kyungie!"

"We bought pancakes!"

Minseok was holding a box of pancakes and a white balloon, Jongdae had his arms around his waist and Junmyeon's hair was disheveled from the wind outside but they had one thing in common, their eyes were locked against Kyungsoo's and had a smile of happiness that the lawyer's awake.

Kyungsoo smiled back from the unexpected visitors. "Woah, I didn't know you will all come. I'm not dying though."

"Dying or not it's still a responsibility as a friend to spare you a little visit." Minseok winked and placed the box on the table. Suho gave Sehun a small punch on the shoulders. "How's it going?"

Meanwhile Jongdae sat on the couch with a phone on his hand, "Is there wifi here?"

Minseok could only roll his eyes at his boyfriend.

Kyungsoo stared at the balloon that Minseok's been holding, with a question, he raised an eyebrow. "W-What's that for? I told you I am not dying."

"Have you forgotten?" Minseok's tone was forming into a shock. "Kyungri?"

Kyungsoo's mouth formed into a wide O. He shook his head and palmed his face. "Yeah, I---"

"Since you can't visit the Cemetery, I figured it out that maybe this is a good way."

Sehun's head was filled with questions while Kyungsoo smiled gratefully at Minseok but then it faded when he thought of Baekhyun. "It would've been better though if Baek's awake."

Minseok sat beside him and caressed the frowning lawyer's back. "He will be opening those eyes soon." Minseok let out a reassuring smile before turning to Sehun. "Can you ask for a wheelchair? Kyungsoo and I will just get fresh air."

Sehun doesn't comply and told Junmyeon to go with him.

"Did your father ask about your condition?" Jongdae asked Kyungsoo in a form of a soft hush, eyes' scanning down the harsh scratches on the latter's skin. Kyungsoo shook his head bitterly. "I'm not receiving calls. The last time I heard his voice was five months ago."

Minseok could only heave a sigh while Jongdae scratched his nape. "Don't worry Soo, I'm sure he has reasons."

"Well I hope he does," Kyungsoo's tone was still bitter. "And I hope it's convincing enough."

"We're always here for you okay?" Minseok gave Kyungsoo a hug but the tightness of the hug made Kyungsoo to groan since his stitch was getting nudged. After a few minutes, Junmyeon and Sehun arrived with a wheelchair. They carefully guided Kyungsoo to sit on it and minseok pushed the wheelchair outside leaving only the three inside the room for the two's privacy.

"What was it that they'll do?" Sehun asked curiously. Junmyeon ran his palms through the couch. "It's for Kyungri right Chen?"

"Yeah," Jongdae replied and opened the box of pancakes. "It's a ritual they do with Baekhyun every year to commemorate her and his mother."

"Oh." Sehun's eyes looked down from what he heard. "So he's totally alone now?"

"He was living with his cancer patient aunt until she left him four years ago. Kyungsoo's mother died from giving birth to his younger sister while the girl died from an accidental car crash that she and Kyungsoo had a few years ago after getting his car. Girl's luck wasn't part of his family." Jongdae explained.

"W-What about Mr. Do?" Sehun intrigued and glanced at his wristwatch.

Jongdae munched on the pancakes, "We haven't heard from him," He hollowed his cheeks to taste the pancakes more. "He calls home whenever it's a Wednesday. I don't know maybe Baekhyun has something to share----yah hyung!" Jongdae whined when Junmyeon scolded him. "Why are you eating something that's not yours!?"

"Why? I'm just tasting a little bit of it---Hyung it hurts don't okay---okay, I'll puke what I've eaten---I'll behave!"

After hearing Kyungsoo's past, his heart grew even sadder. How come Kyungsoo had coped up the solitude he had all those years? Does Jongin know about this? If the engineer knew, why did he leave such person who was always this lonely!?

--

So you're really coming home.

Sehun told himself once that he stepped out of his car and set foot at the house that he rarely comes back to. He kept asking himself if he's ready to face the cruel fate and forgive whatever his father's sins are. He debated in his mind if his father deserved it.

Fixing his hair, giving it a comb with his fingers, he knocked at the door only to be opened by lei that was holding one of his bath friends and a train. Lei's eyes widened in surprise.

"E-Eomma! Hyung came home!"

Sehun bent down and gave Lei a pat on the little boy's head. Lei exchanged it for a smile while vivi also arrived at gave Sehun's hand a long . The dog barked in excitement which was an irony from what Sehun's feeling.

Lei grabbed his hyung's hand led him to the kitchen. "Appa cooked spaghetti for us hyung!" Lei kept on speaking. "You, you like appa's spaghetti right?"

Appa. If it wasn't Lei, he would've scoffed. You're too innocent Lei.

Lei was practically jumping while his hold on Sehun's right hand tightened. "Eomma! Appa! Hyung will eat spaghetti with us!"

Sehun caught sight of a tall man with an apron around his waist, his breaths became slowly heavy. His heart was slamming against his ribcage and his hands balled into a fist, confusing Lei.

It's been a while.

"S-Son?"

Sehun felt his breath hitch.

His father stopped stirring the sauce, killed the fire and strolled towards his eldest son. His eyes were getting watery from the sight of his oldest son. Memories of him carrying Sehun and playing with him when he was four flashed like lightning and it was making him emotional.

"Sehun." Mr. Oh cast a wide smile and with shaky hands, cupped Sehun's broad shoulders. "My son..." and without hesitation, He engulfed Sehun into a hug.

The prosecutor didn't know what to feel at first but after the different clouds of emotions, one sensation wept through it.

"How are you Hun? You're all big now my son." Mr. Oh kept on squeezing Sehun's arms in which Sehun doesn't know if fake or truly longing. "How are you huh? I'm home Sehun. I'm home."

Sehun stared at his own father blankly. "Home?"

Sehun's mother stood near them, telling lei to go upstairs.

"After all these years, you dared to call this your home?" Sehun's voice was firm and angry. "Hah," He scoffed. "You don't have any respect don't you?"

"Sehun!" Mrs. Oh scolded.

Mr. Oh thought of it normally. Sehun's words were hurting him now but he at least thought that maybe he deserved those. It was such a pain with his own son making him go away.

"Hun---"

"Hun is dead," Sehun hissed and emphasized the next word, "Appa," Mrs. Oh cupped from shock. "You killed him."

Mr. Oh could only nod at Sehun. His son's words are making his chest go tight.

"Home huh? Just because you're sick you're trying to pretend this stuffy place your home!?" Sehun's voice was raised. He held back, he held back so much that it was hurting him.

"Sehun!" Mrs. Oh tried to get in the conversation to calm him down, "Please, be reasonable."

"Was he reasonable when he left us?" Sehun's anger showed up again. "Was your pain justifiable that he just left us because h-he was wrong!?"

"Son---" Mr. Oh tried to apologize.

"You only came back because you have nowhere to go to! You're old and your prostate cancer is worsening! You've got no money and girls, why settle for something that you've cursed and left huh? Didn't you think that it hurts showing up one day like an innocent ing lamb?"

"Sehun!"

With that Mr. Oh's eyes began to glitter with tears. He broke down and kneeled in front of his oldest son, begging for mercy. His emotions were hard to contain because of his age but he decided to be stronger than the usual. It was one of his last wishes.

"I know that I am not the perfect father." He began, eyes sincerely looking at Sehun. "I-I know that I was so tempted by the underworld and all its sins. I've done things that aren't worth a thousand of sorrys but son," Mr. Oh was crying. "I-I just need you to g-give me o-one last chance. Not to be a burden or to just have a home but to be a father to both of you once more."

Sehun looked away when he noticed that heart was being beaten by his father's words. He had never seen his father this emotional, should he go with it? Should he just let go and start anew?

"I know you're hurt and I can't blame you but I will be waiting until my very last breath to have you forgive me."

Sehun thought of the worst.

Mr. Oh held his hand and kissed it with so much regret and apology. "I-I'm not going to demand something from you that I refused give when I left. I just hope that maybe before I could turn into ashes, you could still smile to your old man like what my son Hun would do."

Tears streamed down Sehun's face and he wasn't that afraid to let it show. His defense was slowly giving up and his pride crushed. He gazed at his father and wiped his tears cruelly. " Then stand up and show my mother and Lei that you deserved your second chance." Sehun gritted his teeth.

I don't know how to forgive but I have to, I need to right Kyungsoo? Would you do the same? Are we the same?

---

Jongin regret bringing sunflowers.

He tapped his fingers against his lap as he waited for his wife to show. He was getting nervous due to unknown reasons but from the sight of Jung Soo Jung sitting in front of him with a tired smile wiped atleast a few of his worries.

"Hey." Krystal greeted in which Jongin's happy to return. "Hey."

Krystal eyes scanned Jongin.

"You've worn that shirt my sister gave?"

Jongin looked down and snorted, "Yeah. She thought it's nice for me to. She said it hugs my body pretty well and to endorse her new line of t-shirts."

Krystal snickered tiredly. "That businesswoman." Heaving a sigh, she decided to divert their talk to the topic that she's been so curious about all these years and all those nights.

"I heard about Kyungsoo. Is he okay now?" She asked, nervously nipping on her lower lip.

"He's awake."

"You visited him?"

Jongin hesitated for a moment but then faltered. "Yes. On the first night, I-I looked out for him."

Krystal could only nod in response. was itchy to ask more. "You've brought him sunflowers?"

"Y-yes." Jongin lowered his gaze.

Krystal chuckled. "It's okay. You always bring flowers to people confined at the hospital. It's a habit right?"

Jongin nodded and beamed small. He doesn't want another conversation of them to overlap. "So, about the court. They moved the trial regarding Kyungsoo's condi---"

"Do you love me?" Krystal's sudden question got Jongin choking on his own saliva. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

"Why? Do you doubt me?" Jongin in the matter that he cannot recognize himself.

"Yes." Krystal answered mindlessly like it wasn't her husband in front of her. His presence was making her hurt but nonetheless she thought that maybe she needed a little answer.

"Stal I---"

"Ever since you chose me. Ever since that you told me that Kyungsoo can deal with the sudden break up. Since that wedding, I've been asking myself for that question round and round. I was telling myself, Jongin chose me or did he really?"

Jongin kept silent, wanting to explain but he was afraid that things would go wrong. He was terrified that he might mess things up and he was frightened that he cannot fix things easily.

"I can't lose you Jongin." Krystal speaks out. "I'm just so selfish that I don't want you gone." She clenched her fists that were resting on her lap. "But what can I do if I had already lost you in the first place a long time ago?"

"Stal I don't understand." Jongin was beginning to worry.

"I'll make you understand don't worry," Krystal's voice had that hint of bitterness and anxiousness. "I'm just a coward but all those years that you showed me that you loved me, I was feeling a little empty. When Asher died, when I was in Jail you're always there and that's because I was helpless? In between time, that bracelet you call hyung those nights and now that you're feeling sudden emotions that have been hitting your back, was it because of Kyungsoo?"

Jongin felt guilty again. yes, it was because of hyung.

"You are calling his name and asking if you made the right choice and you chose to not let me know." Soo Jung almost pulled her hair from frustration. Seeing Krystal like this, confused, dazed and hurt, Jongin was even more broken. "I understand that we met in the most unromantic and unexcited way. We don't have anything compared to what you had with Kyungsoo. I'm not ready to give you up but if you needed to chose, please do it now."

Jongin was taken aback by her words.

Soo Jung held back her tears. She wanted to show him the firm side of her. She needed him to understand that Jung Soo Jung isn't a woman of only tears. "If you chose him then it's him all along. Stop lying to yourself if you're not done yet with him." It was breaking her heart. She pointed the door and asked him to go. Jongin protested but she only smiled bitterly in return. "If you come back here tomorrow telling me that you chose me, please love me whole heartedly. If you're still convincing yourself that you're damned confused then be considerate of our feelings. You're so unfair. Ask yourself of who deserves your love."

---

"We can't leave you alone Kyungsoo. Sehun's stuck at a traffic---" Kyungsoo cut Minseok off by waving his hand. "I'm not a baby. The nurse will take care of me. Sehun's not my babysitter nor my mother. I'm old enough to handle myself---"

"At least someone to guide you." Jongdae butted in.

"Or to protect you." Junmyeon also chimes in and crossed both of his arms. "You can say that you're strong but when the crime happened, are you able to protect yourself? Lower the ego Soo."

Kyungsoo just hummed and brushed his hair. "B-But I'm really fine."

"Did I hear an understatement?" Jongdae taunted that almost got Kyungsoo throwing a pillow at him.

"Guys knock it off." Minseok asked like a mother. "Soo, we can still drive although---" He was cut off again by this time, a knock on the door. Because Junmyeon thought that it was a pretty nurse, he hastily opened the door but the alleged pretty nurse turned out to be a gloomy guy named Kim Jongin.

Minseok gasped from what he saw. His eyes directly darted at Kyungsoo who also couldn't believe his eyes.

"Jongin? Are you here to take care of—" Jongdae placed his hand over Junmyeon's mouth. "So this is the part where we go right Minseok?"

Minseok's lips parted like he was meant to say something not awkward but when Kyungsoo gave them a signal to go, that's when the three scurried outside with worries inside their heads and well, except for Junmyeon.

Jongin sat beside Kyungsoo and let a stem of tulip on his lap. He was awkward but he already shrugged it off. It's the battle of his inner conflicts and he needed to sort it out for the better of everyone. He pointed Kyungsoo's stomach. "Does it still hurt?" He wanted to start a conversation, a good one.

Kyungsoo was nervous since he might lose control of his own mouth again. With Jongin's calm presence and lonely eyes, he was sensing something coming up so he answers in the most casual way as possible. "It still stings if I move but It's fine."

Jongin grabbed the violet tulip and arrowed it to Kyungsoo. His fingers fiddled around the petals. "Do you like tulips hyung?"

Kyungsoo gave Jongin a meaningful stare. His heart was getting heavy. "The sunflower was yours right?" You still had that habit of bringing flowers at hospitals.

"Don't worry," Jongin huffs. "I've found the reason why I brought it." I just hope we get to understand each other finally.

"Let me guess," Kyungsoo fixed his position. "It's not about the case. I sense that you're just going to break my heart again."

Jongin played with the tulip in between his fingers. "You can say. I'm here to break your heart to heal it once and for all."

"Heal it?" Kyungsoo's tone was mocking. "What? Are you a cardiologist now?" Kyungsoo tried to pull a lame joke to make his mood stable. "How's Krystal by the way?"

Jongin ignored the question. This time wasn't about Krystal or Sehun, it was a conversation between only both of them. A conversation in which they needed to learn from. "Do you remember the jade bracelet that I gave you four years ago?"

He got Kyungsoo's full attention.

"I called the bracelet Hyung. I talked to it every night like a psycho after stal and I got married and asked if I didn't regret that decision and that was my biggest crime."

"So it's my fault then?" Kyungsoo became sarcastic. "You know what? I can't tell if you're breaking my heart or healing it either because it terribly feels the same."

"I don't want my old self back hyung. I cannot let that Jongin hurt you again. I wanted this to be over."

"Your old self is whom I loved Jongin. He's gone."

"That Jongin hurt you."

"So you aren't hurting me now? Is that it? That's the changed man?"

"Hyung you don't understand. This thing---"

"This thing? I am not a goddamned cheater Kim Jongin. We don't have anything at all. It's all thrown away to rot." Kyungsoo clenched his jaws. If he can hit Jongin, he already did. "Do you know how it feels to be suddenly abandoned and you just feel trash since you're not worth any explanations? I felt like I was a puppy born beside a trashcan, happy that I could finally open my eyes to see the world but all of a sudden, someone carried me and I trusted him to be my owner but his arms just led me somewhere I was just so frightened of, a river for me to drown and close my eyes again." Make me understand please Jongin. i'm tired from this. I'm so exhausted about us. 

"I wanted to spend my lifetime with you." Kyungsoo whispered like it was a sweet clandestine. "But it turned out to be so short that I thought I'd die too."

"Soo," Jongin finally replied after swallowing a huge lump stuck inside his throat. His eyes are never leaving Kyungsoo's locks. He wanted each and every word to run down Kyungsoo's spine. to hurt him enough to save him. "That time when I fell for someone else I just realized something." Kyungsoo prepared for something enormous. "And that's the realization that we're just different persons. I wanted this and you wanted that. Maybe all those years of knowing you and loving you, maybe it's because just I passed by the very same path that you took. We bumped into each other, said hello and felt mutual. Maybe hyung that our story isn't a love story. It's simply just a story about love and how things can end so differently."

How can you just say that? because it really really woke me up.

Kyungsoo looked away with his eyes pooling. The trouble with love is that it's a mistake, a reality or both. "I-I....One day I woke up and you were gone. I missed you so much Jongin but I realized that you're not coming back. I kept praying that what if he bumps his head and finally get a grasp that he loves me? But then I woke up the other day and you're not there. I woke up the next day and the next with you gone and it continued being like that." Kyungsoo's ears are tired from being clogged with lies and noise with his eyes that are mostly dead. It was hard explaining over and over. They can't both understand each other so every truth may seem a lie.

"M-Maybe Krystal had finally taken the place that was never mine." Kyungsoo's breath hitched. "Augh, Maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own goddamn arrow to know how much that bull love hurts."

Kyungsoo knew that he couldn't take the conversation anymore but like what Jongin said, it needed to end.

"I'm so sorry."

Kyungsoo's throat hurts. "H-How do I forgive you? How do I push inside my head that apology? Huh? How do I f-forget?" He swallows,  "Please save me from you." Kyungsoo's tone was somewhat begging. Kyungsoo swallowed a huge lump in his throat. No one is here to hang on to; he must deal with it himself.

"I-I..." Jongin shushed him in a form of a serene smile, his lips letting out those words that he was wanting to say all along. "I love you Do Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo can hear his heart breaking like a plate being shot by a shotgun. Jongin's words felt like a complete ghost to him, haunting and cold. But admist that, maybe he was just being to harsh at Jongin.

Maybe he meant it.

"I love you so much," Jongin grabbed his left hand and caressed it. He let his hands roam around the spaces as he fills them. He missed teh way he used to hold Kyungsoo's hand all day but it was a lot of different now. "But I love you now in a different way."

Kyungsoo longed for Jongin's I love yous ever since it stopped but now, it were the words that he is dreading to hear.

"I love you in a way that I want to love everybody. I love you in a way that I am hoping that you'll find happiness without me. I hope that you'll find someone who can love you as much more as you have the capacity to but I'm sorry that it wasn't me."

With one more truth, Kyungsoo can reduce to ashes and burst into tears. He felt like he was swimming in a red wine as a pool for the sorrows of the world but he cannot escape reality anymore and maybe that was somehow everything.

"I want you to forgive yourself hyung." Jongin murmured and enveloped Kyungsoo into a warm embrace. He had Kyungsoo's head buried on his chest, his heartbeats crazier than the usual. His shirt was getting soaked by Kyungsoo's tears. Those tears were sincere and pure. you don't deserve the hurt hyung. "Four years maybe enough of me hurting you. I don't want you to be a prisoner of what we had and those memories killing you and be the only thing that you had."

 Jongin heard the smaller sniff and felt that he was getting hugged back. "I forgive you Kyungsoo, for whatever's taking you back. You don't deserve to be this hurt." Then he sighs, lovingly smelling Kyungsoo's scent. "I know that the words that only matters, stays but hyung..." Jongin closed his eyes to control his own feelings. "Can you forgive me?"

Kyungsoo stopped, his wound on his stomach was aching and might be bleeding but he was starting to love the pain. Your love ruined me but despite getting lost in the ruins, I've found myself.

"Can you forgive Kim Jongin who is an immature, inconsiderate and a total bastard?"

I lost you.

--

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