long chapter and I almost cried while writing this. I hope I can justify Kyungsoo's pain through this chapter. Your comments really mean a lot, like a lot to me and I enjoy reading what you think about this story. not just in this chapter but the rest, it's my only request. 

;

"I suggest that we be careful of what we discussed. I have a huge hunch that this murder is really planned all along." Myungsoo says as he brushed his fingers against his bangs.

Sehun nodded and quickly glanced at his watch. "It's late now."

"We've got less than a week before the next trial. We need to really confirm things to win this thing." Kyungsoo stated with full of determination. He closed the folder that he's been studying and crossed it out. "I hope we can convince them."

Myungsoo stood up from the table and laid his hands in front of them, urging for a handshake. "I call this a day. It was nice working with both of you." The detective gave them a trusting smile before proceeding back to his car leaving Kyungsoo and Sehun.

The attorney sighed and Sehun quickly noticed it. "Hey, you okay?"

Kyungsoo glanced at him, "Yeah, I'm just happy that the case is moving."

"You don't look happy." Sehun pointed Kyungsoo's worn out face.

Kyungsoo looked down; he remembered the conversation he had with Jongin a few hours ago. Kim Jongin had really ended a call without any warnings and it was seriously bugging him. What did he do wrong this time? He doesn't want to admit but he was actually worrying.

"Maybe I'm just hungry." Kyungsoo excused.

"It was your Ex right?" Sehun guessed, his strong gaze was directed on Kyungsoo's face.

"Tch," Kyungsoo scoffed. "How dare you call your client my ex?"

"Well, wasn't he? And I heard you calling out his name."

Kyungsoo doesn't like Sehun's mocking so he just kicked Sehun's leg and the taller was later groaning in pain. "I told you, I don't want to talk about that."

"Fine, fine." Sehun shushed him and placed an arm around Kyungsoo's shoulder as they began walking. "But, eat dinner with me attorney."

Kyungsoo removed his arm and shoot him daggers, "Why would I do that?"

"Uh," Sehun acted like he was hurt. "Because you said that you are hungry?"

"Maybe Baekhyun have some leftovers. I can eat that. Besides, I find restaurant food boring nowadays." Kyungsoo declined and crossed both of his arms.

"Why would you be a distraction to those two lovers who I guess might be decorating themselves with whip cream and eating each other's faces?"

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at Sehun, "You are so gross Officer."

"Attorney, I am not gross but rather stating the possible facts besides you should be open minded about these things."

Kyungsoo's face began to heat. "Stop talking about that!"

Sehun secretly admired and enjoyed the way that Kyungsoo was getting embarrassed. "Why not? We're adults." Sehun can easily ease up on a person especially if they'd do the same. For him, Do Kyungsoo looked like a tough nut to crack but seeing sincerity and closed walls, he was liking the company.

Kyungsoo shot him another death glare and gave him a threat, "If you continue talking about that I am going to shove my fist through your and through your mouth until they meet at the middle and I'll play with your heart like a ing accordion."

"Ouch!" Sehun laughed and tapped Kyungsoo's back, "Don't play with my heart Attorney Do."

Kyungsoo didn't answer and instead just walked towards the bus stop, constantly glancing at his watch. It was really getting late and despite the nice ambiance of Seoul, he wanted to lay on a velvet bed and drift himself to sleep.

"Okay here's the deal," Sehun was still not giving up. "Eat dinner with me and I'll cook for you. How's that?"

"That's at your house?"

"Condo."

"And why would I go with you?"

"Because I say so."

"What If I don't want to?"

"Then I won't stop bugging you." Sehun taunted and wiggled his eyebrows.

Kyungsoo gave him an annoyed glare, "Aish! You're worse than that sasaeng of yours!"

"You are frustrating me Attorney but I won't take no as an answer. Think of this a peace offering because of that ki---"

"Alright!" Kyungsoo cut him off and shoved his palm against Sehun's lips. Some people are staring at them and some are saying that they were the two who was at the news. "Fine, I'll go with you but don't do something stupid!" He warned and dragged Sehun away.

Sehun's lip corner rose and he snorted, "You are the only one thinking that."

"Shut up!"

"Aye grumpy!"

---

"Are you kidding me?" Kyungsoo asked in disbelief when Sehun laid down a pot of Ramen on the table. He gave Kyungsoo chopsticks and a bowl, granting Kyungsoo a soft smile.

"I told you I am an expert in cooking Ramen with kimchi and eggs." Sehun boasted while mixing the noddles. "Eat before it gets cold."

"You call this food?" Kyungsoo intrigued. It looked really delicious since it was mixed well and the noodles don't look soggy but he wasn't in the right mood for ramen.

"You are the only Korean that said that to ramen!" Sehun protested. With Kyungsoo still not making a move, he easily snatched Kyungsoo's chopsticks, broke it into half and put ramen inside the Attorney's bowl. He served it at the small boy and mumbled, "Eat. Your stomach's begging for it."

Kyungsoo didn't want to act all ungrateful so he sighed before he started eating and much to his surprise, it wasn't really bad at all. Sehun's right, he was quite an expert. He unconsciously smiled. Sehun was practically glancing at kyungsoo, checking his face before he confirmed something. "Aha! I knew you'd like it!"

Kyungsoo almost choked on the noodles. "I-I don---"

"Your face says the opposite." Sehun looked away. "Don't deny it." The way how Sehun said those words sounded like hurt. He really did an effort to make it 2x better than what he actually does. He really wanted to impress the cold boy in front of him. Kyungsoo noticed the sudden shift of air, "Yeah, it's probably the best tasting ramen Chef Oh."

Sehun couldn't help it but to also choke on the noodles because of the wide smile that was casted forming on his face. He was also getting nervous of a sudden.

Kyungsoo chuckled and offered Sehun a glass of water which the taller didn't seem to refuse.

Sehun cleared his throat, "You know what I've thought? I think your heart's not broken as you always tell."

Kyungsoo stopped sipping the soup, "What made you say that? I don't always tell."

"You still know how to have a good time." The Officeranswered, setting his chopsticks down. "Plus, you also know how to make other people smile."

Kyungsoo's heart fluttered for a reason due Sehun's words.

"Who says I'm having a good time?"

"Why? Aren't you happy?" Sehun questioned but later on realized that his question might mean into something else so he coughed, "I mean, don't you want to be try to be happy again?"

"Why? You think I am not happy now?"

"So you are happy now?" Sehun's voice was gentle.

Kyungsoo gulped, "I meant job, I am happy because of my Job."

Sehun sighed, quite disappointed by his answer. "Not just your job, I mean genuine euphoria."

"And what does that mean?" Kyungsoo innocently asked, his eyes focused on Sehun's own pair. Sehun stared back at him, his heart suddenly racing. "Why can't you be happy again?"

Kyungsoo was the first one to break away from their stare, "It's not that easy." Kyungsoo's voice trailed low. "Why is this being talked about again? It gets cringey."

"Why don't you try again?"

"It's cliché to say that I am afraid."

"Everything is a sacrifice Kyungsoo," Sehun stated. "We humans are made to feel the pain. I didn't know much about you and Jongin and I might be a jerk asking you about that but I think you're just hurt because you're the only one holding onto it." Then he sighed, letting the ramen run cold. "So why did you hold on for so long? Was it difficult to replace him? Was his arms your only home?"

"I don't know," Kyungsoo chewed on the ramen, begging for the soup to flush down the lump inside his throat. "I really don't know why I still fought for it."

"Your faith in him is just too big Do Kyungsoo," Sehun was serious. "And you expected him not to break it."

Kyungsoo hesitated to answer but he couldn't deny it anymore, "I guess you're right. I put lots of faith in him. I mean, I know I've hurt him too but I didn't expect that his revenge was twice as what he suffered."

"Not just twice Kyungsoo, you've been stabbed for more than that. You saw him happy while you kept all the pain." Sehun lectured, his serious glares have a sign of worrying. "You tried to forget but your grudge is still present. You tried to let go but the truth is, you didn't even try, not a single bit."

Kyungsoo seemed to be taken aback, "You have no idea how I tried."

Sehun leaned closer, "If you tried, it will not hurt that bad anymore."

"You know nothing." Kyungsoo whispered sharply.

"That's right, that's because you chose to hurt yourself. You kept it only to yourself that's why his happiness is haunting you."

Kyungsoo clenched his fists. "Stop lecturing me like you know my pain."

"Oh believe me."

"Drop this conversation now."

"You can't even cry in front of me." Sehun's tone was firm. "You can't even act vulnerable and you say that you're strong? You can't even keep the conversation going."

Kyungsoo blinked twice. The pain in his chest was starting to grow. Memories are starting to flood inside his head again. Jongin began bugging his thoughts and it was really killing him. Talking to Sehun even gave him pain. The way how Kyungsoo acted differently in front of him was giving Sehun's heart a few pinches. He knew that within a few more words, he could push Kyungsoo's limit. Kyungsoo looked so pathetic. The way his lips went agape and his hesitations, little things were bugging Sehun and with that he realized a few things, He wanted Kyungsoo to cry on his shoulder. He wanted to console Kyungsoo as he whisper comforting words at his ear.

He wanted to see his beautiful smile.

He wanted it so bad.

But tonight's timing wasn't right.

He only knew Kyungsoo for a short time and he knew that the boy wouldn't warm up to him that easily but he liked the challenge. Sehun didn't think of this just because Kyungsoo was someone sad, he thought of this because he knew, he knew that Kyungsoo deserved better. Every time Byun Baekhyun would tell him about Kyungsoo, he was always thinking, How could a person be this strong? The world turning against him but Kyungsoo doesn't. He just fights.

Sehun enjoyed his time alone. Flirting and investing his time within his job and other stuff. He never considered to be attached to someone after his father left them and shouted sweet tortures towards his mother. He was afraid of what if he grows up like his father? He knew how much pain his brother and mother had got to go through and he, himself, was also scared.

But right now, he can see the difference of him and his father.

He can't hurt the boy in front of him.

You break someone's heart, you break your own.

Kyungsoo set down his chopsticks, "I-I think I should go home."

Sehun nodded and kept silent. He wanted to say sorry at least but he couldn't bring himself to. He wanted Kyungsoo to realize that he was wasting his time so much on someone who doesn't even want him back. He needed to know that it's the time he needs to let go.

He brought the dishes at the sink and silently washed it. His eyes constantly glancing at Kyungsoo who was staring at the window while putting on his shoes.

Sehun had never felt so bad.

"You're a living Sehun," He whispered and scolded himself. "You only made it worse."

Maybe he loved him so much. I was too insensitive not think of his pain. I'm such a big , augh. Kyungsoo, just please let go and I swear that you'll never be this hurt again.

---

Silence inside the car was such a torture and Sehun couldn't even stand it. Kyungsoo wasn't talking to him nor giving him a glance and it was seriously a big bother. To get rid of the awkwardness, he connected a usb device and played a song. Surprisingly, the song was on shuffle.

"We used to believe, that were running at the edge of something beautiful~"

The song and tune was familiar but the title was not that clear.

Kyungsoo realized that the silence was really a burden and he has no rights to be angry at Sehun. Sehun was right all along. The fool one was him alright and not Jongin. What Sehun's words were nothing compared to the truth and all he needed is to just accept it. It was so hard to forget but the memories are just so sharp. With this silent treatment he was giving sehun, it felt like he was telling him that he was just very very right and he was not even strong.

"W-What was that song's title again?" he asked and glanced at Sehun whose eyes were at the road.

"Let me love you." Sehun answered in a low voice. 

Kyungsoo responded in a way of a silent hum and pointed the landmark that was near the face shop. "Make a left turn." Sehun obeyed and after a few minutes, they caught sight of Baekhyun's apartment. He sighed knowing that the day was about to end. But as he come close, he saw someone from afar who had his head down and waiting outside the gate.

"Jongin?" Sehun whispered in shock. He automatically turned to Kyungsoo and the latter was already looking at his direction.

Jongin sneezed due the cold weather. The cold breeze was seriously giving him chills and some mosquitoes were happily feasting on his neck. He was starting to regret staying by the gate since Kyungsoo wasn't home and Baekhyun was really angry with him but no, he needed to talk to him no matter what. He needed to tell him those words he was a coward of.

Kyungsoo has the right to be happy and Jongin is the only obstacle.

When he saw Sehun's headlight from afar, he automatically stood up. A smile crept to his face. He was already tired but after seeing that one person, he was already alive.

But he was with Sehun.

Kyungsoo remained frozen at his seat.

Sehun clenched his hold against the car wheel as he sigh. Kyungsoo was feeling something bad and he was really not in the right mood to talk about their case. He was not in his right self to rant about how the case is almost done.

But he needed to, Jongin needed his wife back.

Kyungsoo heaved a deep sigh before turning to Sehun, "Hey, Thank you for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow." His voice was tired. He wanted to just sleep off the worries and start a new day. Begin the days like it was before and handle stuff like how he always does. A change, it's too much.

Sehun didn't respond and kept his gaze straight at Jongin. Kyungsoo stepped down from the vehicle and braced himself. He tried to rethink of the trial again. Did Jongin really come for just that? Couldn't he wait for tomorrow?

But when he was a few meters away from Jongin, someone grabbed his wrist, making him face his worried eyes.

"Soo," Sehun says, his eyes filled with concern and longing, "Stop, you've fought enough."

Kyungsoo forced a smile as he tried to regain back his wrist, "I-It's fine Sehun, it's probably just about the case."

No, Sehun's got a bad feeling about this. He knew this scene, he knew that if someone waited that long, something has to be discussed.

Sehun didn't break their eye contact and gave him a reassuring smile, "Then if it's not about the case," He lets his wrist go. "Run back to me."

Kyungsoo was actually surprised by Sehun's words. His heart was already heavy but sehun's words were comforting. It was like gravity that's making him stand on his feet, saying that even if things push him down, he'll be there to hold him up. How i wish.

He didn't answer and bravely turned his back. He walked back towards the person who he was so broken about.

"Jongin," Kyungsoo called out. He forced another smile and wondered, "Why are you outside?"

Jongin wasn't answering and Kyungsoo knew his hint. "Oh, I'm sorry. I should've called you sooner. Did something happen?" His heart was thumping erratically. After that session with Sehun, he couldn't bear to look at Jongin that long.

"Hyung," Jongin's voice was low which terrified Kyungsoo. He knew Jongin enough and that tone of voice was one of what he hated. It was either Jongin's to cry, upset or about to tell him something definitely heartbreaking.

"I met a a few hours ago," Jongin started. "A-And..." Jongin was hesitating; his voice was beginning to crack. "He wanted to say sorry."

Kyungsoo was really taken aback. He thought it was just for the case or he's drunk but seeing the emotion plastered on Jongin's face, it was something that can make him break down and be stupid.  No reply comes out past Kyungsoo's lips or just maybe he chose not to speak as he gathered all the courage he has left.

"H-He told me of how much a jerk he was. He didn't even think about you. He was liar, a big liar. He told you he loved you didn't he? But he broke his words. He was so insensitive and he didn't d-deserve anything you've given him. He finally realized of how much a j-jerk he was and he regrets it so much. It haunted him every day."

Then Jongin looked to level Kyungsoo's eyes. He saw hurt.

"And that is me."

Kyungsoo's heart was just so heavy that it might burst anytime soon. He wanted to shout at that man saying, is that it? After all those times, you only realized now?

But he can't, he needed to show that he moved on.

"Hyung, I'm so sorry." Jongin's voice wasn't stable.

Kim Jongin is breaking.

Kyungsoo, stop lying. I beg you please stop lying to yourself anymore.

"Jongin," Kyungsoo exhaled. "Go home." He clenched his fists.

"No," Jongin firmly said. "I can't go home without you forgiving me!" He stubbornly said. "Hyung, I-I can't stand to hurt you anymore---"

"Hurt?" Kyungsoo's voice was somewhat mocking. "What do you even know about hurt?" Now, Kyungsoo swallowed his pride and gave Jongin piercing stares. Being not able to stand his position now could really be classified as weak. "Do you even know how much disrespect and hurt to me that you're demanding me for forgiveness!?"

Kim Jongin saw that Kyungsoo was right. He was only making it worse that rather a plead it came out like a selfish demand.   Jongin, you're no good. you've hurt him again!

"You know what? That's the problem with you. You're not true to your words, you're not sincere enough and I---" He frustratedly combed his hair "—am that fool to believe all those string of lies."

"Hyung---"

"Jongin, I've waited for this moment to come. For you to realize how ing insensitive you are! You kept on giving me high hopes, words and promises that may seem nothing to you but they meant so much for me!"

Kyungsoo fought back his tears. Jongin isn't worthy to see them.

"Was I that very easy to give up? Was I very easy to just call and let go whenever you wanted to that you didn't even know those memories that we've shared?" Kyungsoo scoffed. "Jongin I know they tell me I'm smart. I'm wise enough for this but aren't you forgetting that sometimes, I'm just that Kyungsoo who is also human and hurt. Every day, every ing day, I was always asking myself, What is really wrong with me?"

Jongin's eyes were pooling. He was so guilty for ruining this boy in front of him. What he ever did was pure destruction. Greediness that he didn't even think of Kyungsoo's misery.

"Jongin you just have no ing idea how I went wasted those times that you disappeared! I begged myself to act strong, that Jongin's just another man but I just can't." Kyungsoo clutched his chest. "I was so broke! I missed you so much and series of emotions are cracking inside of me! Jongin, I wanted to be numb! I can't be numb because no matter what I do, that pain was still searing inside my bruised heart and it was still knocking me out."

"I'm so sorry..." Jongin whispered. " Kyungsoo I---"

"You changed so much Jongin. I wanted to force my heart to move on but all I do was to be a slave of it." He heaved an exasperated exhale. "But I can't blame you," Kyungsoo's voice trailed low. The pain was too agonizing and he can't bear it any longer. He was going to combust. "You have your own heart to follow and I have mine. I can't teach my heart and it ." He continued. "Aunt died, wishing, what if Jongin and you get married?" Kyungsoo let out a small defeated smile. "I wished she knew better. Baek's going to marry Chanyeol someday and I'm still locked up." Kyungsoo was angry but his emotions are far too confusing to even analyze. "I was always missing you and all I can do to soothe myself was to hold on to those memories."

"I'm sorry." It was Jongin's third attempt.

"It's too late Jongin," Kyungsoo gives him a bland look. "I'm doing this for my job. The reason why you drifted away from me at the first place and now, it's the now that's helping you claim back your own selfish happiness."

"Hyung, I'm hurt too." Jongin stated. "I was lonely back then and I---I've always thought about you! You are my priority but you didn't even---"

"Hurt? No. You're the one who hurts!" Kyungsoo doesn't even know what he's saying. "You're not hurt because you're just guilty and you wanted me to forgive you so that guilt wouldn't be a burden to you! You are given all these years, that time, and you've only thought of that sorry now? Was I really that intimidating to even say, Oh God Kyungsoo, I wanted someone with s! Marry your books instead because I've found my new love!" Kyungsoo gritted his teeth. "How I wished you'd say that but you just didn't. You left me thinking hard and made myself feel like the worst because I thought that the most lovable person in the world just left me."

Jongin was so angry at himself that he almost choked on his sobs, not thinking of the proper words to use were. "T-Then what do you want? Want me to kneel?"

It was too late to realize that no good words would ever come out from him. Every statement is similar to a torture. 

Kyungsoo had enough. His ears are just so clogged of lies and his emotions are a mix of sadness, relief and anger. Mostly his eyes were bland and dead. It seemed amusing that the person he wanted to hate the most is kneeling in front of him, begging for forgiveness. But no, forgiving has limitations. I'm done.

"All I wanted was for you to fight for me, to show the world that there are two of us Jongin," Kyungsoo's gaze faltered. "I love you so much, so much that I think I don't know how to love. Such a fool, thinking that love can melt the pain no matter how great the pain in but now I came to know that pain can also melt the love no matter how great the love is."

Jongin felt numb of what he said. He was so angry of himself that he didn't realize that he was the one crying hard. It was just so immature for him and what he did was totally unforgivable.

"Please," That was his last word before Kyungsoo turned his back at him.

I want my old Jongin back. I want him saying goodbye to me. Kyungsoo thought and walked away. His eyes are pooled with water and he can't hold onto it much longer. His feet walked the direction back to the arms who was glad to take him back,

"Soo., Sehun's heart was breaking from the sight. Kyungsoo was shaking, his hands clutching his chest, his eyes almost swollen and tears threatening to fall. He was concealing those tears hard. His breaths were ragged.  "S-Sehun," Kyungsoo's tears began running down his cheeks. His chest was heavy and he can't breathe. 

"I-It hurts so m-much." He broke down into tears and Sehun wasted no time and quickly enveloped him into a warm and comforting hug. He shushed him up and kissed the crying boy's hair. He rested his hand against Kyungsoo's nape and the other one tightly securing his waist, not wanting to let him go. "I know, I know." He whispered and closed his eyes. "I'm so proud of you."

--

THE SESOO HUG REALLY GOT ME SO EMO!!! IT WAS REALLY HEARTBREAKING THAT KYUNGSOO ONLY CRIED IN FRONT OF SEHUN AWWW WHILE LAST TIME HE SAID THAT HE DOESN'T CRY IN FRONT OF ANYONE RATHER THAN JONGIN.