this is seoulchonew's soul typing because bangtan sonyeodan had basically stayed in my country for a darn ing week and I didn't even see them. I just continued breathing until wings tour fancams killed me.

;

Kim Jongin cursed after glancing at his phone. It was already noon time and his head was throbbing hard. He sluggishly pushed the sheets away from his body and sat up on the bed. His eyes were hurting and lips were pale due hunger. Alcohol was seriously bugging his system.

After what happened last night, he can't seem to think anymore. He cannot sleep and he can't even look at himself at the mirror. He felt like he lost himself but today was another day, another fight.

Jongin doesn't want to miss it although the world seemed to rebel against him and he was not holding an alas right now. There was nothing left for him. Kyungoo's words were a straight bullet and it made him think that he's almost useless. He just wanted to be not confused anymore but now every emotion is raging. 

He wouldn't want to be too much of an overthinker but what kyungsoo said to him was true. He cried and begged in front of his former lover but the one thing he couldn't understand that night was still himself. He knew that he moved on from him but why does his heart still sink. He loved his wife, yes, but there was still something bothering him aside from guilt.

Jongin wanted to figure it out.

He wanted to break himself.

He wanted to have his life back.

He wanted Kyungsoo and him okay.

Please.

Wanting to be at least productive of the day, he stood up and took a bath. He soaked his clothes under the shower and leaned on the wall.

"Just die Jongin." These words unconsciously slipped past his lips.

--

Jongin decided to take a bus towards his office to take a visit. It's been a month since his last visit and he knew that his projects are now being processed by other engineers instead. He just sighed by the mere fact. He's not that selfish when it comes to his job.As soon as he caught sight of his office, he immediately stepped down the vehicle and walked towards the small edifice with his hands inside his pocket but what surprised him are the amount of people outside.

Jongin observed them and saw that those people had cameras around them and folders.

"." He cursed under his breath and looked down. He cannot walk away since he needed an update about his job and these reporters maybe just a quick maze if he's lucky enough. In no time he hastily squeezed himself through the paparazzi but today was indeed his bad day.

Their questions buzzed inside his head and he had no idea why they were asking those.

"So are you dating the lawyer?"

"What can you say about your wife?"

"Is Do Kyungsoo really your ex and you're scoring with him?"

"Kim Jongin answer us!"

"Jongin! Do you know Do Kyungsoo? What about the case?"

"Is it true that the last trial will be a waste?"

But his only idea was just because of Soo Jung, her family.

Meanwhile Chanyeol stood near the door while talking to his secretary and while holding a soda. Sweat ran down his face down his neck because the air con broke down this morning.

"Please do call the maintenance. Aish! I really don't want to shout right now but tell them to hurry up." Chanyeol instructed and his secretary isn't protesting. Chanyeol shrugged and his eyes fell on the crowd from outside, it doubled its number and it seemed like they're in a riot?

"Daebak," Chanyeol whispered taking a sip of his soda. "Jongin must just stay inside his hous---holy !" He gasped when he saw Jongin struggling at the middle looking dazed and confused. He hastily called for Mino's help and together, they tried to make the press go.

It took them a few minutes after Jongin could breathe stable inside the office with Chanyeol assisting him.

"You okay?" Chanyeol gave him a glass of water in which Jongin's glad to accept. 

The Head Engineer nodded and wiped the beads of sweat on his forehead. "W-Why are they here? How's the office? W-What happened? A failed project?"

Chanyeol nearly hit him and just heaved a long sigh. He crossed his arms and sat on the couch inside Jongin's office. "You are missing a lot Engr. Kim." Chanyeol responded. "No projects had failed and we are really going into a smooth road. I've hired a few architects who happened to be some of our young colleagues and our latest big project is the commerce building in Gangnam."

"Oh," Jongin claimed. "I guess I might've been out for so long. Have Soo Jung's ideas been used?"

"They recreated them to be used online."

"That's good." That was only Jongin's reply and fell silent.

Chanyeol stared at him and got a hint of Jongin's problem. "Not gonna ask me what happened that the press is swarming at your office?"

Jongin met his eyes, "I-I---"

"It's about you and Kyungsoo."

Jongin hit his forehead hard and bit his lower lip, " what happened?"

"No, what happened?" The question was being answered by another question. 

"I-I," Jongin stuttered, "W-We k-kind of talked."

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow, interested in the man-to-man talk. "And?"

"He cannot forgive me." Jongin said breathless. "I-I can't blame him. I deserved least of it."

"Aigoo, I am really not good with advice unlike Baekkie but actually I've thought," Chanyeol cupped his chin. "Maybe you two needed to chill."

"That's it? Are you even okay Park?"

"Chill I mean, forgive and forget might be very hard but actually if this goes on and on, it wouldn't even finish. Let's say that you two will talk again, it'll be like an unwanted reconciliation? Same words used and thrown and it's actually pretty tiring. You two are locked inside you own emotions and while you're locked, you do realize that it's not just Kyungsoo that's the problem but also yourself."

"Chanyeol," Jongin massaged his temple. "Please, I'm tired of this---"

"So are we. It's endless man and it's actually getting depressing. We wanted you both happy but what you two have been doing---"

"We just met."

"Heol," Chanyeol snickered. "Sorrys, those ing sorrys doesn't even solve anything. Time may help maybe but the closure? You cannot get that because you, I think my brother, is not yet moving on. You two meet and you bicker endlessly like 'what the kim jongin, you broke my heart and I'm depressed.' To be very honest nini, it's actually frustrating from our point of views."

Jongin remained silent.

"You know that? Always crying and crying and confused. I might seem really really insensitive here but you two will always think and blame each other. Like come on you guys, just let it go." Chanyeol tried to make Jongin understand. "I know I can't judge both of you and the situation now isn't helping but please, learn to let go. You've taken him for granted men, you're worse than me."

Jongin opened his lips to answer but chanyeol blocked him, "This is one question that needed a yes or a no. No maybes or I'll shove my cola down your ."

Chanyeol breathes out, "Do you still love him?"

Jongin paused, he never thought of that.

"Try to answer not a maybe but an I don't know and I swear---"

"Then you judge, what do you think?" Jongin reversed the question that shut Chanyeol off.

"What the ? This is harder than my physics exams nine years ago." Then he was drowning into a deep thought in seconds. "Uh, No?" Chanyeol answered. "You wouldn't hurt him that much if you love him because Baekhyun? The last sin I'll do is to ing hurt my man."

"Yeah, . Baekhyun doesn't deserve to be maltreated."

"Don't divert the topic." Chanyeol hissed. "Actually from my point of view, your confusion is vague. Why? Because when a couple broke up, I think the romantic feeling might be easily ignored but not the care."

"You are confusing."

"You two ran towards each other and tell each other how their day goes, it's hard to forget. You delay feelings Jongin, you tried to ignore the pain and the guilt while Kyungsoo, he cried it all. And guess what's lit? He moved on from you."

"Park---"

"Sehun told us proudly that Kyungsoo only cried in front of him, a clear act that maybe, Kyungsoo's done with you. And your only problem is that the day you saw him, all those ignored feelings came back to you no matter how long it has been and it bothered you. Kyungsoo? He carried it every single day and cried about it. I won't be surprised if Sehun will ask him out the next day. His smiles are getting better Jongin."

Jongin sighed once more, from what Kyungsoo told him and felt that night, it seemed like what Chanyeol was telling is true.

"Maybe Kyungsoo cannot give his heart easily since he's scared but you? You didn't lose anything."

"Conscience?" Jongin remarked that got Chanyeol giving him a 'no'.

"You didn't lose it because that's the guilt you're feeling."

"I think my head's going to explode."

"Trust me Jongin, Kyungsoo already forgave you. It's better that way than to sulk my friend."

Jongin meaningfully glanced at Chanyeol. From all that he heard, maybe Chanyeol was right all along. He knew that maybe he doesn't deserve to be forgiven but what they both deserve is to let go.

They can't fix it back.

It was done.

Hope scratched.

"Don't get affected by the press by the way," Chanyeol stood up. "Someone is trying to ruin both of you and I think that netizen is the missing key." Jongin threw Chanyeol a throw pillow and laughed, his emotions were highly stable now unlike the few nights. "Baekhyun really influenced you huh? You two are ridiculous."

Chanyeol scrunched his nose, "Well, I love him."

"Augh."

"Augh yourself Kim."

--

"Okay, so what the ing hell are they doing? If I catch that netizen, I'm going to rip---" Kyungsoo shoved his palm against Baekhyun's mouth to shut him up. He turned the tv off and glared at Baekhyun. Dishes were done and Chanyeol already left too. The topic never faded and Baekhyun was seriously fuming in anger like a mother. Sehun scratched his nape. "Can you please find inner peace?"

Baekhyun released his lips from Kyungsoo's grip, "Hah! Peace? How do I do peace when those people are involving you in some kind of scandal---" Kyungsoo grabbed a slice of bread and once again shoved it against Baekhyun's lips to shut the smurf up. "You talk too much like there's a ing apocalypse." He fished his phone from his pocket and dialed Minseok's number.

He wasn't even terrified of the news. Shocked maybe but things like this aren't new to him anymore.It was just er due it was because of his past but the whole scenario? It was a perfect mistake. Was it being dug up or lately just known?

"Minseok hyung?" He called out with a calm smile.

"Kyungsoo," Minseok answered. "I saw the news---"

"Yeah yeah, don't worry. Do you have Kris Wu's number?"

"It's about you and Jongin? And they---"

"Number hyung," Kyungsoo doesn't want to ruin his thoughts with a repeating topic."They made it easier for me though."

"Well," Minseok supposed. "I'll send it to you via email. He was Jongdae's friend though."

"Small world?"

"Really, hey take care."

"Congratulations about being engaged! Stay away from Jongdae, he's a total maniac. Bye!"

"Kyu---"

"What was that about?" Baekhyun asked with Sehun strolling by his side. Kyungsoo ignored him and waited until he got Kris' number. "What do you plan Soo?" Sehun asked, worried. "What they did was a total mistake Sehun," Kyungsoo chuckled. "They only thought of this after a few weeks? Days? Bull right? They're just falling for their own trap."

"Do tell?" Baekhyun answered.

"That issue and the trial," Kyungsoo explained. "Doesn't it make sense? They wanted to stop the trial. Detective Kim told us that Kris gave up on the case before the second hearing, was that a good attitude of a lawyer? Giving up? I think he's threatened. You cannot just give up a damn case even though its' hopeless."

After realization hit Sehun, a small smile was painted on his face. Baekhyun glanced at Sehun and snorted from his face, Sehun had just this, I'm so proud of you baby! Face.

"Aish, seriously, am I needed here?" Baekhyun whispered. "The trial is two days away," Kyungsoo grinned. "I think I have the perfect culprit."

"What about Jiseok?"

"Well, I think it's better if he doesn't show up."

--

The next few days proceeded with Kyungsoo talking with Kris and Detective Kim. He was doing all the work while Sehun stayed by his side and talked to his police colleagues. Kyungsoo found out that Kris was indeed threatened but he got the answers lacking, like Kris wouldn't even give him a hint.

He found out after a few push that Kris was not threatened but instead paid to shut up. Kyungsoo, with all efforts, tried to make the lawyer tell who was at fault but Kris just gave him puzzling answers saying that the culprit was actually easy to catch but because of the influence it was indeed unnoticeable. So the enemy wasn't really that invisible. 

With that, Kyungsoo spent the whole two days trying to figure out the crime scene and Soo Jung's few sentences until he told himself that he was done.

A bright new day dawned on them and Kyungsoo fixed his tie in front of the mirror after sighing. 

"Soo?" Called Sehun from the door.

The day had come.

"I'll be waiting outside. Don't prepare too much, you still look fat."

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and ignored the Officer. He was also glad for Sehun's help all the way. His presence wasn't actually that necessary but with him by his side, he was able to cope up with stress and improve his quality as a lawyer. Their news with Jongin only sparked lots of interest but Kyungsoo was easy to shut the mouth of the public and the press. The press also arranged a conference with Soo Jung's father and step mother which also stirred a talk. Their opinions were entirely different regarding the case.

He was suspicious of Hi Yeon's talks. He couldn't say it was a lie but what she was saying to calm the press were indeed offroad like she was trying to cover something.

He also could remember the time when he was texted by Jongin for them to meet at their meeting place when they were at highschool. Kyungsoo was suspicious but it turned out to be a troll.

Yesterday, someone made a fake article regarding Jongin's opinion.

Kyungsoo actually got fumed because of the article since his mind was a full blast but what he did to shut his unwanted opinions was to only trust Jongin.

Trust jongin, Jongin wouldn't say those kinds of things.

All he could was sigh and smile.

With the final brush against his bangs, he let out a small beam. He was thinking of Soo Jung, how is she going to handle everything, every question and accusation once again. He hated himself to pity her but this was indeed his job.

He walked towards the door and found Sehun on the couch, eating donuts again.

"Hey," Sehun says, "You ready?"

Kyungsoo let out a shaky breath.

--