Amber’s POV

It hurts me… I didn’t show it to her but it hurts me… I know what I said seems cruel to her, but what can I do?? I can’t bear to see her around me when she’s still with that jerk. I want to stay away from her, but I know I will fail miserably. Why? Because deep down I know, I’m hopelessly devoted to her… I thought going back to the states will calm me down, but no… I keep on thinking about her like a mad person… No matter how much I tried to have fun back in my place, even almost had a one night stand with a stranger (thanks to Jackie who pull me away from the bar), I can’t stop to think about her.. It is crazy for me… I don’t even feel this crazy when I’m with Ellin… ARGHHH!!!! It’s been three days after that incident. To be honest, I miss to see her name flashing on my phone. I do feel some regret right now for not replying her previous call and text back when I was in my hometown, because I know, we’re are only stranger with memories right now and becoming what we are before are totally impossible now.

‘You’re the one who decide this to happen Am…’ I know brainy, but you do know why I do this right?

‘Stupid… of course I know, but this is not what I imagine’ trust me brainy, me neither… Never had I imagined it will hurt like this…

I leave out a heavy sigh before I went to my living room and start to run through the song that I’ve made. Since I’ve quit my job as wedding singer, Jackie have suggest me to meet her friend who are happened to be a big fan of my band before. He ask for my collaboration as a composer for his upcoming album after he heard the sample song that I’ve brought. And now, I’m still considering what song I should give to him. He want a love song that can captivate people’s heart the first time they heard it. I flip the music sheets and come across with this one particular song…I stop for a while as I read the lyric of this particular song… Should I give him this song? But this song is not just an ordinary song. A song that are always replay in my head, a song that are made….just for her… I’ve play the piano and start to hit the notes in that music sheet.

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am,

Is there any ways that I could stay in your arm…

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you, as my wife?

 I stop playing when I realize my tears fall unintentionally as I sing the song… There you go, I’m the one who act cold to her, yet I’m the one who’s in tears right now… Well, what can I do, this song express all my feeling that I have for her and I can't do anything about that…Ughh… I need to do something to get her off my mind… I look at my watch, it’s already 7.30 PM… I think I should loosen up a bit and have some drink to ease my mind first before I contact Jackie’s friend.. I wear a black casual tee, white snapback and black short before I went out. Since Jackjack and Gongju is still at Riley place and she brought them back to her hometown which is quite far from my place, I just let them be with her for a while… It’s been a while that I don’t remember when is the last time I take my time walking by the street since I’ve got my ChevChamp… I went to the bar and order something that are not too hard. Well I don’t want to end up lying on the middle of the street, so I better drink something light for now

“Hey Am” I turn around and see….Minho??

“Hey bro.. Aren’t you supposed to be with Sulli right now??”

“Well, I can’t help it since her ‘friend’ decided to call her and crying over the phone, telling about what happen between you two” I gulped. Okay, I didn’t expect that…

“Ah… Sorry to get you and Sulli involved in our problem”

“It’s Okay Am… So now that I’m here, spill it out… What exactly happen??”

“Well… I think it’s better if I’m out of her life”

“Huh??Why??”

“I don’t know… Because she remind me of Ellin…”

“What do you mean??”

“I’ve ask Nicole before why she want to married with that jerk, and Nicole said that because she want some security in her life”

“And did you ask her about that?”

“I….I did ask her but she didn’t give a definite answer”

“You haven’t hear her out yet you already decided what kind of punishment you should give her?” I was taken aback with his words… He’s right… I don’t even bother to listen to her yet I just do whatever on my mind…

‘Hey, I’m not involved in that incident… You’re the one who act recklessly’ Fine brainy, fine…

“Am…Can I ask you something?”

“Yea…Sure…” I look up and fix my eyes to him

“Why did you fall for her at the first place?” Ok I didn’t expect that question… I take a deep breath before I answer

“Honestly… I can’t even tell you the reason right away”

“And why is that?”

“Because the reason why I love her are not and will never be simple Minho. I love her because she showed up when I was on the lowest state of my life, thinking that love wasn’t real. People come and go in my life, even the one who I least expected. But her… even though she just know me for a while,  She decided to stay even at my lowest state. Not just for a while, but she staying for good. But being the fool and the reckless one, I end up pushing her away, because I do believe that, sometimes when you love someone, their happiness is more important than our own happiness”

“And for how long you gonna push someone who are meant for you?”

“Err, what do you mean??”

“Amber… Listen… Sometimes, some people remain in our mind is because that is where they are supposed to be… I’m not saying that you should crash their wedding or what. But somehow I believe, and Sulli too think the same, that both of you fit each other perfectly…”

“Heh… What are you talking about Minho, it wouldn’t be the truth” Even though deep in my heart, I hope what Minho say is true… He gently pat my back before he speak again…

“I’m not saying I’m an expert in analyzing body language, but the way she act when she is around you is totally different compare when she is with other people”

“But if she really like or perhaps love me, she wouldn’t suggest me to have a date with Nicole bro…”

“About that… Actually, Sulli told me something t