Author's Note: I chose the song "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,
You don't know,
Oh, oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,
If only you saw what I can see,
You'd understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,
You don't know,
Oh, oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,
Oh, oh,
That's what makes you beautiful
__________________________________________

Sandara's POV

“When I think about “Oh, this man would make a romantic boyfriend,” the man that comes to mind is G-Dragon.” Uh-oh did I just say that eewwww. And God what have I done? It was supposed to be a secret what do I do now?

It came out wrong - oh why did I do that interview?They shouldn't have asked me to choose. Of course I will choose GD, I always have chosen him. Not that anyone knew about it.

As soon as the show was shown on TV I was placed in the limelight again.

Applers loved it while die-hard GD fans said I was too old and too ugly for him. Some of them even wished me dead. I tried to turn my attention somewhere else but the buzz did not die down and GD had to do an interview to help ease the issue.

“Sandara was holding this board, so it seemed like two people walking.I took it from her.  I feel forever thankful to know that she regards me well,” he said.

Even TOP the only Big Bang member who understands why I am always awkward came forward to ease up the tension.

TOP then revealed, “I didn’t go ski with them at that time,” he said, “If I did, I may have been chosen instead, I should have followed. It’s such a waste,” he expressed regretfully, with a jealous heart.

It's been 3  months already and they are still talking about it. I feel so bad and so little that there are days when we would shoot MTVs and I would cry because I feel so inadequate. In fairness everyone was there to tell me I did well and that I am beautiful. They don't know how I feel. But Ji was there always assuring me that for him I am the prettiest and the best. But I don't see him that often and that's adding up to my level of insecurity. I wish I was pretty like a model maybe then I would not feel so small and insignificant.

I have a lot of fears...am afraid of cats, dogs anything too furry and barks and purrs scares me. Only maybe a rabbit can make me feel secured because they are mostly white and quietly sits, hop and eat  all day. People don't know about it and it's difficult for me to hide. And just when I become a bit more confident then something comes up again and scares the hell out of me.

We were in Japan to promote our Japanese album when the earthquake occured. I was staying on the 34th floor of the hotel. Everything was shaking...

"Oh God oh God what do I do?" I sit underneath a table crying. It felt like I will die any moment and I do not know what to do. I called Chaerie (CL). "Che...che...rie...huhuhu...I'm....I'm...so afraid...what...what do I do?" I tried to stop shaking but can't .

"Unnie...unnie..don't cry I will come for you .... you understand. Wait for me okey. I will be there in just a second." I heard her panting for breath.

"Whe...where...are you Chearie?" I asked still trembling.

"Unnie..hoo..hoo... I am climbing up the stairs do not cry and do not worry I will be right with you okey." I heard her say in between deep breaths.

"Ye...ye...yes Chearie please hurry I...I ...I'm so afraid.'

After several seconds she was there rushing to me she grabbed me and embraced me. Cocooned in her arms I started to relax and the shaking of the room gradually started to slow down. CL was rubbing my back and my arms to calm me down and I was shaking. It's moments like this that I feel so insignificant. Why am I like this? They took me to the clinic that day and we had to cancel the event because I was too shaken to move. The girls were so worried about me.

I will forever be grateful to Charie for coming to me that day. Jiyong called but was not able to talk to me that day because I was too shaken to talk to anyone and he was so worried he called several times afterwards. YG immediately asked all of us to come home as soon as I calmed down.And we did...

As soon as we arrived the whole YG family was there to double check if we are indeed alright. The girls laughed it off I laughed but inside I think I will forever carry my fear of that event.

That night Ji called...

"Are you alright?"

"Can I come see you to check?"

"Ji I'm fine don't worry I will be alright."

"Okey you're fine, have you eaten?"

"Ah yes I think so..."

"What did you have for dinner?"

"I...I don't re...remem.member." I said as the tears started falling again. I closed my eyes hoping it will all be erased from my memory.

"Baby I will go there I really want to see you to make sure you are fine."

"O...O...Okey Ji." defeated, frightened and exhausted I replied.

He arrived a couple of minutes later and asked the girls to allow us to go out for a couple of minutes and knowing that only Ji can calm me down they all agreed.

We went back to that spot in the Han River where we go if we want to watch the river. He took out a food basket he obviously prepared for me.

"Baby this was packed for us by Nunna Dami she wants me to make sure you will have something in your stomach before you go back to sleep tonight."

"Okey".I could not look at him. My whole body is still trembling because of fear.

"Baby look at me," he said when he saw me starting to tremble and cry again. I lifted my eyes looked into his.

"You're fine now. I am here. You are safe, okey?"

That made me start to cry again and he embraced me. I cried and he just allowed me to let it all go. He did not say anything just listened to me as he rubbed my back. He kept kissing my hair trying to tell me he is here. As the tears subside...

"Ji why am I like this? I feel so embarassed that I am always afraid of so many things...huhuhu."

"Honey everyone feels fear the only difference is our reaction to it. You are pure that's why its difficult for you to hide your reactions. That doesn't mean you are weak? Vulnerable, honest, sensitive yes but definitely not weak."

"For me baby you will always be the str