Song for this Chapter  is Closer To You by Jason Derulo

It's pouring down like rain
Ain't no denying it baby
And now it's started a flame
Oh girl you got me going insane in a good way
Can't get you off of my brain
Ain't that a shame

If there's just one thing that I gotta do
Is wrap my arms around you
And hold you close and never let you go

Can I get closer
Can I get closer
Can I get closer, closer to you
Well can I wipe away your tears
Wipe away your fears
Be the man that you need me to be
Can I get closer, closer to you

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GD POV

She's still upset with me and I can feel it.

I deserve it ! It was stupid of me to assume that I can do this. She is right, I do not deserve her. I am really a bad boy at heart and arrogant !!! I deserve all of that but what I do not like is the pained expression that she is hiding behind her smile. In the last couple of months she has been losing weight. I wanted to approach her but everytime I try to I lose confidence because she would step back when she sees me and she would focus her attention to my other team members (who by the way are also upset with me because of her).I don't blame them. I would hate myself if I were them. But I miss her...and I cannot go to her because I am currently committed to Kiko.

Ahhh Kiko...she is a nice lady who is about my age. Taller than Dara, a model, half Korean/half Japanese. She has the same interests in partying, drinking and modelling the way I do. I am able to take her everywhere - she is confident and a portrait of modern sophisticated woman. But...she is not Dara.

Why I started this - I could not recall but it would be unfair to Kiko if I just leave her and not give this relationship a try. She is a sweet girl, the only problem I have is that even if I am with her I still think and worry about Dara.

I have not seen her for months and I am uneasy. I watched the final episode of You Who Came from The Stars and saw her in her cameo role. I envy Kim Soo Hyun whom I heard is currently dating her. It used to be me in that role. Can't I not be closer to her even if not as a boyfriend, can I be a friend? Oh I forgot I refused that offer the last time she said that to me. But that was because I was hurting as much as she was and I really want to stay with her but she refused.

I promised the 2NE1 girls I will watch their AON concert here in Korea but I am afraid that we would both be again awkward with each other and I don't want that to happen. Still I'm going even just to get a glimpse of her. She was in her element on the stage as she danced and sang her way to the hearts of the fans. My heart flutters whenever she smiles and I dream of holding her in my arms again. If only for a moment .... I can go back to her I would.

"Oppa thanks for coming." CL greeted me as they all went down from the stage after their anchor number. She embraced me and went on her way.

"Uh you're here?" Bom who shook my hand and then went straight to the dressing room.

"Oppa thank you for coming, did you like the concert?" Minzy hugged me as soon as she saw me.It was at that point that I saw how surprised Dara was to see me at the back stage. She stopped for a moment bowed and put her arm around Minzy as they both went inside their dressing room.

"Did she talk to you?" Seungri who volunteered to come and see the performance with me asked me.

"No she's still afraid I think but she bowed and that is an improvement." I took a long breath and bowed down my head.

We both went inside the dressing room and chatted with the girls more. CL invited us to join them in the AON after party. Thinking that it would be a good way of talking to her I went with them. She started drinking so I had to stay behind her the whole time. When the effect of alcohol started kicking in she started dancing with the crew and that made me really jealous. I wanted to take her away from them but couldn't as she remained distant from me. But on the another hand I was happy to see her dance, drink and enjoy the night for even through that the wound that I created may heal.

After a while I saw her leaving the dance floor I wanted to talk to her and seat beside her at the bar but I suddenly felt shy to even approach her so I just followed her with my eyes. I never left the place I was in because I was standing just in front of her. I took several glances her way just to see if she was alright. Then she started to walk her way to the exit. She was swaying obviously because of alcohol so I went after her. I walked behind her just in case she falls or something and at one point she almost fell and so I took that moment to hold her from behind and steady her.

"Th..th..thank shue, " her drunken version told me.

"Dara let me walk you to the car, you are in no position to walk straight."

"Shookey...hik!" she replied.

So I called their driver and asked that he be waiting at the front the moment we step out. As we waited for the car I was holding her from behind and I wanted so much to embrace her and tell her to stop grieving. She deserved someone better - one who will not make her cry as I am doing.

"Are you alright Dara?" I asked.

"Hmmm M shokey hik...don't shu sworry." she responded smiling yet I noticed a single tear falling down her cheek.

She obviously doesn't know that I am the one holding her now because she started sobbing. When the car arrived she couldn't walk straight so I carried her to the car. She completely out the moment I laid her down at the back seat.  I wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes and removed the hair that's covering her beautiful face. I wanted to take her home but it would not be right to take advantage of her at this point so I told the driver to take care of her.

I felt her pain because of what I have done to her and I had to hurriedly go to my car and cry. I am doing this to her and I cannot forgive myself for hurting her. I prayed that the Lord give me the opportunity to make amends with her. I would gladly accept the pain instead of her right now.

I promised myself that I will try everything to bring her back in my life even if friendship is the only thing she can offer. I just cannot lose her.

We met again at the YG Family concert and just like before she was distant. There was chaos, noise and fun at the back stage so we started mingling. She came out dressed up like a man with a mustache and a big plastic microphone she carried at her back. Immediately the artists gathered around her asking for pictures to be taken with her. I allowed everyone to finish before I approached her from behind.

"Can I have a photo with you too?"

"O...O..key," startled and confused she looked around and since everyone seems to be looking at us she posed for a photograph.

"Thank you Dara," with my heart pounding I bowed to her and stepped back. I felt like I have broken the first line of her defense and that is a good thing.She already said one word to me that is not based on a script and that is really nice.

After that she disappeared again from my sight. From the AON concerts in China, Beijing , Taipei and Manila she disappeared. I know she is intentionally avoiding Korea. I heard that she stayed in Manila for almost a month to avoid me. That hurts but I deserve it.

I concentrated on my work and for a moment I forgot about her until September came....

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