Song for this Chapter : So Sweet by Jason Chen

You got the kind of taste that screams so loud
The perfect gift without a doubt
My eyes light up when you're around
I might be addicted to you now

You're so sweet, like honey after midnight
You melt my heart like chocolate in the sunlight
So sweet, like candy after bedtime
But all I need, yeah, you're so sweet

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Sandaras' POV

How can I thank him. I kept asking myself that question eversince I became part of YG - he's been keeping his promise that he will take care of me and I feel bad that I could not reciprocate the feeling. Sure my heart beats rapidly when I see him. I blush I giggle and I get excited whenever he showers me with attention but its as if my heart has stopped looking for someone to love. Whenever he starts talking about his feelings I cringe, I have goosebumps and I could not speak. God knows I want to love him back but how can I when there is no love left in me? My father took away the first half of my heart when he betrayed my whole family. Until now I lie awake at night asking myself why he left us...he got me so afraid of relationships that even if the man before me is the totality of what I dream of in a man I will love  - I couldn't do it! There was another person in the Philippines who I thought loved me but it turned out he was just using me. That hurt - that hurt a lot. I lost my love and respect for myself because of him. Now I do not know if I can trust any guy again.

But I know Jiyong is different...from the moment I met him I knew he was different. but why can't I not love him back?

I remember...

"Wow ! You got were casted for a role in Iljimae? Wow Sandy that is huge!" he calls me almost everyday more often now than when I was in the Philippines. And since I am learning the ropes in this new company his calls has been an important part of my daily routine especially before I go to sleep. And although he is very busy and is getting very popular he makes it a point to check on me.

"But I'm afraid...I am not that good in acting." I responded echoing my apprehension.

"Of course not! I studied your career in the Philippines and you even recieved awards for acting - I really think this would work for you." Gosh!  I am flattered the GDragon of Korea investigates about me I'm sure if other girls hear this they will kill me.

"I don't know I want to try something new...something different." I still remember how my last projects in the Philippines ended and I somehow feel responsible for them.

"You're just anxious about the new assignment - don't worry. When is your first shooting day? - I will drive you there so that I can support you."

"Oh Ji really? That's just so sweet of you. I would really appreciate having someone who can make me feel comfortable on the set. The shooting is just in two days. But I know you're busy and I don't know...is it really okey for you to take me to the first day of shoot? I don't want to impose." I do not want to unnecessarily make him miss out on his schedules on account of me.

"For you I am never busy...that's settled... I will take you there just text me the call time and I will be there for you."

"Oh Ji thanks so much...this means a lot for me."

"Being with you means a lot for me too you know. And I will always find an excuse so that I can be with you." there he goes with his punch love lines. It flatters me a lot and I wish I can reciprocate his feelings but a battered heart like mine will always be in doubt I hope that he will be patient enough to wait for me to accept him.

"Ahhh Ji ... so that you know before hand. My role there requires me to kiss the lead actor."

"Whaaatt? then I should really be there to make sure that you are not taken advantage of."

"Ji this is not the first time for me to have a kissing scene that is part of the movies and in this case TV novel. It's fake anyway."

"No!!! I have to be there!!! It maybe fake for you but not for the other actor. "

One thing I learned about Jiyong is that he is a bit of the jealous type like now. None of the BIG BANG boys dares to come near me for fear of being kicked in the by him. He would always introduce me to his friends as "my girl". Well I don't really mind because I like being protected by him - he and Hyung Seven has been helping me out a lot since I came here. But occasions like this comment sends butterflies into my stomach and its quite nice to feel that way but still I'm afraid to admit this to him. I do not want to mislead him because right now I love that he is there for me and is always protecting me. When the right time comes and when I am absolutely sure then I hope to show him how he makes me feel.

"Besides you tend to be very quiet whenever you are in a group of people. With me there with you, at least there is someone who can make you talk." I agree with him, I don't like talking whenever I am in a new environment but when I am with him I am a bit more confident.

"Okey as long as it will not affect your schedule then I want you with me."

"I will definitely be there."

And so he did come with me on my first shooting day. He talked to Lee Joon- gi, the lead actor. I didn't hear much of what they discussed but after that day Lee Joon-gi seemed to have treated me like a close friend and stayed in a distance whenever Ji picks me up from the shooting. And while I enjoyed the shoot,  my heart is seeking for other means of expressing my creativity. I discussed it with Hyung Seven, Hyun-bin (who has become one of my closest friends) and Ji over dinner in one of the karaoke bars in the city. It has to be a secluded place because all of them are renowned in the industry and I am the only newbie. 

"Hyung what do you think Sandy can do to convince YG to include her in the new girl group. I think she is suitable to be part of the new group instead of being in a drama. I am not very comfortable with dramas besides its not nice that she is immediately asked to do a kissing scene on her first drama? I honestly do not agree." Ji said shaking his head. Jealous much? Hehehe I can only giggle in the corner - my dragon is really jealous and its absolutely cute.

" Wow Ji I never knew you to be the jealous type." he slapped Jiyong on his shoulder and laughed.

"Ani I am not jealous its just that she is new and it doesn't seem right, you know what I mean." Jiyong said shaking his head but he was blushing and so was I because Hyun-bin is teasing me...pinching me on the side about it.

"I completely understand, I am a jealous type myself so I understand where you are coming from hehehehe. Anyway going back to the topic at hand. Sandy why don't we come up with a video of you singing and dancing and I will personally take it to YG for approval."

"I'm fine with that just tell me when", it gave me hope that these two guys are willing to help me out.

"What about now?" Hyung Seven proposed.

"Yes why not now. We are in a karaoke bar anyway, baby I will film it for you." Ji all of a sudden got excited about the idea and brought out his cellphone.

"Naman now na??" it was all too sudden for me I can only respond in Tagalog (Filipino language).

"What baby?" Jiyong looked at me inquisitively.

" Ahh sorry I was speaking in Filipino - I meant immediately now? I don't know... I'm not ready." there  goes my trembling little hands again.

"It's okey do not be afraid there's only the 4 of us here." Hyun bin told me encouraging me to do what they suggested.

"Ehhh I'm afraid."

"Baby I'm here don't be afraid." Jiyong sat closer to me and placed his arm on my shoulder rubbing my arms. I looked at him and while I do not like the idea that he is playing boyfriend again I find it relaxing to be doing things in his presence than with anybody else. He is giving me his pleading look again. Ahhh this guy knows me so well ... he even knows how to soften my heart. What can I do?

After gathering enough courage to stand up and perform I took a deep breath and sang and danced to the delight of my audience.

That is Jiyong to me - he is not only there for me all the time - he believes in me. With his help and that of Seven hyung YG agreed to make me part of the girl group later named 2NE1. Oh I loved the Bom, CL and Minzy, my girl group mates. I immediately warmed up to them and its fun practicing with them. I was happy not to be alone again and I had to move into their dorm.

Last May Jiyong was also instrumental in unofficially launching us 2NE1. Actually Jiyong and Big Bang performed with us in a cute song called "Lollipop" as an advertisement for a mobile company. They chose Jiyong and I as the main characters of the mini MTV. I loved it!!! My hair was pulled up like a coconut tree and Jiyong would not stop unless I wear his bracelets and the necklace he chose for me. Like he promised, he takes care even of my accessories and he was playing with my hair ...he even placed a picture of the palm tree in his M2Day post because of it. I want to say he is amazing but am afraid that he is expecting much from me that I cannot deliver.And the way he would always want to be partnered with me in photoshoots and things like that ... the other team members of  Big Bang and my sisters in 2NE1 are teasing us about our status but neither Jiyong nor I admit to anything... so now they prefer to call us twins hehehehe...

I didn't see much of Ji after our commercial shoot, we were both busy and they are now so famous I often get shy even just to greet them - they make me feel so small and inadequate. BIG BANG has grown in popularity in an unexpected proportion. They are travelling most of the time. But he still calls me up but not everyday like before due to his schedule.

Oh the greatest thing he did for 2NE1 was to produce our launching album. He volunteered to do it. He said he pities us and since he knows how it feels to be a rookie in YG he wants to help us launch out songs already. That didn't worked quite well because the fans became furious. They were so noisy about it the Jiyong had to come out and do an interview just to pacify them.

He was there to cheer us up when we launched "FIRE" our first song in SBS music countdown.

"Baby fighting!" he whispered and I can barely hear him as we went on our way to the stage and he was at the side of the stage to watch us. Like a proud dad he was the first who cheered us after the song. After that we became busy launching the second track entitled "I Don't Care." which became a hit. We were a household name after that. While I basked in the glory of fulfilling my dreams Jiyong remained constantly on my side cheering me on. One time while BIG BANG was on their tour he placed a message for me in his M2Day and he called me.

"Baby baby open my M2Day page... hurry up pali pali (hurry in Korean) I left a message for you there" he woke me up early in the morning just to tell me that.

"Jiyong I'm sleeping I worked all night for our MTVs can I see it later?"

"Baby it won't take long please..."

"Ooookey..." I yawned and slowly opened my computer. I could not see it clearly at first but I was surprised with the message.

"Read baby read it for me."

"Ehh Jiyong its too cheesy..."

"Please...baby",  baby Jiyong on active mode.

"Okey it says Oppagamaiaekkyeo."

"Do you know what it means?"

"Crazy ! Of course I do it means you promise to always think about me and protect me."  I blushed do I really des