Hongbin throw his body on the sofa. He’s tired with everything that happen in his life. He swears that if he could just end his life without hurting himself, he would just wish he die right now. He let out soft groan while trying to shutting his eyes. The dorm is so quiet even though it’s not that late. He glances at the clock on the wall and its 10pm.

‘Just where the hell did the members go? Why so quiet?’

“You already back?”

Wonshik voice was heard. Hongbin take a look at him that standing beside the sofa while holding a mug.

“Where did you go since early morning?” Wonshik sit beside him.

Hongbin didn’t even have heart to reply.

“Did you want some drink? Hot or cold?” Wonshik ask again trying to get his friend attention.

“I think we have some coke in the fridge. Wait, I will bring for you” Wonshik run towards the kitchen and he return back with a coke in his hand.

“It’s been long time since we didn’t do things like this. Sit while chatting” He glance at Hongbin.

Hongbin want to leave but he stop when his hand were held by his best friend.

“Can we talk for a while?”

“I don’t have mood to talk”

“Just give me 10 minutes. I miss you, Hongbin-ah”

Wonshik use his puppy eyes to convince Hongbin and that’s when Hongbin sit down again.

“Let’s us watch something” Wonshik smile brightly when Hongbin willingly to stay for a little bit and he get up to switch on the TV.

“You said you wanted to talk, not watching TV..” Hongbin confused face shown.

Wonshik just smile and he pick up the remote then click on the button. The screen is now showing up something. It’s MyDol episode 4 where they did the bungee jump for their mission to debut.

“What are you trying to show me, Wonshik?” Hongbin found it annoying when he saw the old video of them.

‘What the hell is he doing now? Reminisce old video?’

“Did you remember this? Happen right after we are all chosen to debut as a group? CEO tested our determination by bungee jumping. How scared we are that time..” Wonshik chuckle remembering how pale each of their face that time.

Hongbin crossing his arm and eyes are stick on the TV eventhough he doesn’t have mood to watch.

“Guys, I love you!” There's Hakyeon in that video shouting the word before he did his bungee jump even though he hates that things the most.

“N hyung really hate extreme sports. See how his face turn pale and he nearly cry..haha..it’s was funny though. But still he managed to jump and even said he love us” Wonshik continue.

Hongbin keep silent and still listening to whatever things Wonshik going to say tonight. Then the TV switch to other video and its was MTV Diary episode 13 where they are enjoying their time at amusement park. Yes, that day when they finally get their first ever break since debut.

“Today we are at S-land, but we don’t know the reason why we’re here” Hakyeon showing up looking so bright in the video surrounding by all members.

“Don’t you feel it has been long time since we went to amusement park? I think this was the first and last time since debut. And we are all busy with individual and group schedule till now”

Wonshik chuckle when the scene of them riding the merry-go-round was shown while Hongbin is staying sit without any exact expression show on his face.

“I hope we can spend some time to go to amusement park again. Without any camera. Just us. 6 members. I would pray for that to happen sooner”

Hongbin smirk.

‘Pray as much as you can, Ravi-ah. That won’t change my decision for leaving VIXX’

Then the video switch into VIXX One Fine Day where they give Hakyeon a video message. The part where Hongbin said,

“There are so many little things that I’m thankful of, but what I’m most thankful is, you being the sturdy centred of leader so that we won’t scattered and stick as a group. Thank you for taking care of us and let’s stay close together like this”

“Did you already forget this? You said it by yourself, Bin-ah. You appreciated him and wish we all stick together, but then you broke that wish.” Wonshik almost tear up but he managed to hold it back.

“Why did you show me all this things again?”

“Because I wanted to remind you that since we are trainee till we debuting, we always stick together and wishing the best for all of us. But then, outsiders are trying to broke us apart.. Make you distant from us till you decide to quit.. ” Wonshik turn to look at Hongbin with his teary eyes.

“Showing me this doesn’t make me change my decision!”

“I’m sure by now, you should realize how much you are meant to us. Especially to N hyung. He really love you. Maybe more than he love any members. You’re the first dongsaeng he had know since we joined the company. ”  

“You said he love me? You must be kidding. If he love me, he wouldn’t do such things. Using his fans to kick me out. That’s the most childish thing he can do” Hongbin get up wanting to leave but then stop when Wonshik call him.

“Before you keep throw the hated and blaming all those things on him, you better remember how you are debuting at the first place, Hongbin!” Wonshik yell. He had been enough of his best friend being too ignorant. Never thought that Hongbin would be such a stubborn kid. 

“If it is not because of N hyung. You wouldn’t be known as VIXX Hongbin..If it is not because of N hyung, you wouldn’t have thousands fans like you had now. At least be thankful to him. VIXX Hongbin exists thanks to him” he approaches Hongbin who is standing still in front of his room.

“You said he doesn’t love you? He hate you? If he hates you, why would he went to your house back then, and beg you to stay strong and drag you back to practice? He would’ve just let you give up yourself..”

He finishing his words then goes straight into the room leaving Hongbin alone. He is speechless. He doesn’t know why Wonshik last words cut deep through his heart. Quickly, he shakes his head denying all those.

‘I’m not going to weak over those little talks of you, Ravi’

‘N hyung deserve to get hate for whatever things he do to me’

“Hongbin-ah!”

Wonshik sudden voice calling him snap him out from his own world. His face look nervous and panic and his hand is trembling hard while holding the phone.

“What?”

“I just got a call from Leo hyung..He’s on his way to the hospital. Together with Ken hyung and Hyuk” 

Hongbin frown.

“Hakyeon hyung at the hospital now. Someone said he faint at the hotel he is staying” Wonshik burst into tears.

Hongbin gasp. Suddenly his heartbeat move faster than the normal.

‘N hyung faint? But I did meet him this morning and he looks okay.’