Jieun’s POV

“UNO!” Joon Young cried out in excitement.

I cursed inside my head. It turns out snakes and ladders wasn’t all I couldn’t win at. I also failed rather spectacularly at every other game Joon Young had challenged me to over the past week. Although I had come tauntingly close to winning Wii-sport bowling, only to have my first-place title rudely snatched away by a rather smug Jinki.

“Isn’t that the fifth game in a row that you’ve lost now?” Jinki asked.

He was lounging along the sofa across the room – where he had been banished for cheating.

“Maybe you should call it quits.” He suggested.

“Maybe you should shut up. At least I play fairly.” I suggested back as I scowled at him shuffling my cards.

Jinki gave me a wicked grin, opening his mouth to make a comeback but Mrs. Kim cut him off.

“Jinki, shoes off of the furniture!” She reprimanded him as she entered the room, smacking him lightly around the back of the head, making me have to supress a grin at the disgruntled look on Jinki’s face.

“Where is Jonghyun?” She asked, noticing her eldest son’s absence.

“He’s staying behind for football practise.” I reminded.

“Oh it’s Tuesday already?” She asked, before laughing. “I’m really am going senile.”

She then glanced at the clock and then smiled at me.

“Jieun do you mind helping me out in the kitchen?” She asked.

I hesitated a moment, wincing inwardly, knowing I was a terrible cook. Bu considering the fact she was letting me stay in her house for free I could hardly say ‘no’

“Sure.” I said stretching by back and standing on my feet to follow her through to the kitchen.

Seeing my discomfort, Jinki sniggered and stuck his tongue out at me whilst Mrs. Kim’s back wad turned to him.

I rolled my eyes at him, picking up one of the sofa cushions and dropping it on his face on my way past, startling him slightly.

As we entered the kitchen Mrs. Kim didn’t hesitate to set to work straight away, as I stood awkwardly in the entrance unsure of what I should be doing.

“Do you mind peeling and chopping the potatoes, sweetie?” Mrs. Kim asked, nodding her head towards the sink and passing me some unwashed potatoes that instantly muddied my hands.

“The peeler is in the top drawer to the left under the sink.”

“Uh sure.” I said moving towards the sink and running water over them to clean them and my hands first.

“So, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” Mrs. Kim said after a few minutes of working in silence.

“Uh… you have?” I asked; my forehead wrinkled as I half listened to her words, stuck in concentration as I tried not to cut myself with the peeler – wanting to be able to do a good job so I didn’t feel as useless as I had been over the past week of the living here.

“Are you and Jonghyun dating?” She asked bluntly, managing to grab my full attention.

I dropped the potato that I was peeling, making it land in the sink with a loud thud.

“Sorry. I – You just caught me by surprise.” I confessed, picking up the potato again.

I can hear Mrs. Kim lowly chuckling to herself in the background.

“Jonghyun and I aren’t dating.” I assured her setting back to work.

“You’re not?” She asked, sounding surprised and a little bit disappointed.

“Why did you think we were?” I asked confused.

Surely, she’d knew her son could do a hell of a lot better than me.

“I guess it’s the way he looks at you.” She commented offhandedly.

I risked a glance at her to see she wasn’t looking at me but at the food with a soft smile on her face.

“And he’s so gentle with you too. Its adorable really.”

Why are my cheeks so flustered?

“Jonghyun’s like that to everyone.” I said softly, my eyes focused on the potato I peeled.

Jonghyun’s gentleness was one of his many admirable traits.

“You really think a lot of him, don’t you?” She asked, a smile spread out across her face.

“Yeah.” I admitted knowing that there was no point in lying about it.

I wanted her to know what a great job had she done raising him alone.

“He thinks a lot of you too.” She said confidently although I very much doubted the truth of her words.

My disbelief must have been written plainly across my face because she rushed to reassure me.

“It’s true. He’s always talking about you and trust me when I tell you he has nothing to say but praises.”

I gave her a bewildered look, not sure how I should be responding but she saved me from having to by continuing.

“I guess that was another reason I thought you were dating. Also, Jonghyun’s never brought a girl home before.” She proceeded to tell me.

“I mean at first I thought nothing of it because it was all about the project you two were working on together. But then you started coming over to watch movies with him.” A knowing smile graced her lips as she gave me a look I couldn’t decipher.

“And seeing you two curled up to one another just had me thinking that you were a couple.”

I tilted my head down. Trying to hide my intensifying blush.

I heard Jonghyun’s mum let out a loud laugh and caught her shaking her head from the corner of my eyes.

“The pair of you are adorable. If it helps, I would one hundred per cent support the idea of you two together.” She said fondly.

God, she’s like a dog with a bone!

What was it with her and Min Kyung, and the idea of Jonghyun and me together?

“Uh – Thank you?” I said uncertainly, my words coming out as a question more than real thanks.

“Adorable.” She repeated again with a laugh.

I bit my lip as I tried to think of what to say. How was someone meant to respond to something like that? Her eyes gleamed as she watched me struggle.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” She asked, voice dripping with amusement.

“A little?” I said hesitantly, opting for ‘honesty is the best policy’

She laughed again, moving a pot over to the stove.

“Let’s change the topic than.” She suggested.

My shoulders relaxed at her idea.

“What kind of flowers do you want at yours and Jonghyun’s wedding?”

Her question caught me off guard making the peel slip and slice across my finger. A small cuss left my lips in a hiss as I dropped everything.

“Oh dear! I’m sorry sweetie, it was only a joke. I didn’t think you’d have such a strong reaction.” She said apologetically and rushed to my side.

I shrugged my shoulder as she fussed over me, reluctantly letting her look at my injury.

“It’s no big deal.” I mumbled.

“My fault. No need to apologised.” It felt weird having her hover over me gently, my hand in hers as she inspected where I had hurt myself.

“It’s bleeding. I’ll get you a plaster.” She said ignoring my words.

She tugged my hand, indicating me to follow as she moved to the other side of the kitchen, opening one of the drawers and pulling out a box of plasters with pirate animation on them.

“Sorry I only have these. Jun Young loves them.” She said lifting them up.

I smiled a little, knowing Jun Young was completely obsessed with Peter Pan. It came as no surprise that he loved to pirate design.

“It’s okay.” I assured her, taking one of them and peeling off the back plastic at the same time as wrapping it around my finger.

“Maybe you should take a break from peeling?” She suggested.

“I’m fine. You just caught me off guard that’s all.” I told her honestly.

Reoccupying my previous spot in front of the sink. Rose gave me an apologetic smile, which I waved away. Mrs. Kim gave me an apologetic smile, which I waved away.

“It really was just a joke.” She assured me again.

“I know. I’m just easily surprised.” I told her sheepishly.

“Oh alright then. I’ll be more careful from now on.” She said.

I gave her a smile in return, now knowing where it was Jonghyun got his heart from.

“You know, it occurs to me that I don’t really know all that much about you Jieun.” She said tipping her head to one side, her eyes scanning over me as if she could get all her answers from one quick sweep.

“Umm… what is it that you want to know?” I asked after a short hesitant pause, cautious of what her questions would be like.

“Do you have any passions or hobbies?” She asked, looking excited for my answer.

“I used to like art. I don’t often have much time for it now.” I said shrugging my shoulders.

“You don’t? What takes up your time?” She asked with a small frown on her face.

“Work.” I told her, moving on to the last potato.

“You have a job?” She asked, sounding both impressed and surprised.

“I work at Sunshine Café – though I’m barred from working in the kitchen because I’m a terrible cook.” I admitted.

Mrs. Kim let out a small laugh.

“But yeah. Work keeps me busy.” I shrugged and moved the newly peeled potatoes to the chopping board, picking up a nasty looking knife to dice them with.

We continued like that, Mrs. Kim firing question at me, as I continued to help with any menial task she asked of me.

Mostly she would ask trivial things, like what are my thoughts of certain sports, food or weather. Sometimes a more serious question would pop out like asking what I wanted to do with my future or how I was doing in school. The most awkward moment was when she started asking about my family but I had managed to smoothly deflect the conversation elsewhere.

As more time passed, the easier it got for me to answer her questions. I had lost track of the time by the time Jonghyun came back. When he entered we were in the middle of a discussion about Jonghyun inability to get along with cats – thought not through lack of trying – and we both clammed up when he came within earshot.

“Whoa, what are you two talking about?” He asked, leaning against the doorframe.

He looked between us suspiciously and I bit the insides of my cheeks to keep a natural expression.

“Nothing dear.” Mrs. Kim replied, turning down the setting of the cooker, sending her son a bright smile.

Jonghyun didn’t look entirely convinced as he shot me a questioning look. I gave him an imitation of the innocent smile his mother had given him. His expression softens into his own gentle responding smile. He shook his head slightly, as if trying to remove a thought and his whole face brightened into an even bigger smile.

“Let me guess. Your conversation had something to do with my superfluous good looks or dashing personality.” He said puffing out his chest.

From over his shoulder Mrs. Kim shot me a meaningful glance but I hadn’t a clue as to what she wanted me to glean from it. I focussed my attention onto the boastful idiot in front of me.

“Shut up stupid.” I said dipping the tips of my fingers into the sink full of water, before flicking them in his direction, splattering him in the face with the cold droplets.

He pulled a face, using his sleeved to wipe away the water. Although he had a displeased frown there was a gleam of humour in his eyes.

“Okay kids. Before you start a food fight, both of you leave.” Mrs. Kim said, defusing the situation with ease.

“Aye, aye captain.” Jonghyun said, giving his mother a salute.

She rolled her eyes at him. I hesitate, looking over the kitchen.

“Don’t you need any more help?” I asked, even though I hadn’t been doing a whole lot to begin with besides keeping my half of the conversation.

“I’m fine.” She assured me, making a shooing motion with her hands.

I nodded my head, following Jonghyun out of the room. I trailed behind him to the now vacant living room, where he collapsed onto the sofa, his arms covering over his eyes as he let out a low groan.

Worry started to clamped over my heart.

“Are you okay?” I asked, jumping to his side, my eyes scanning over him for any injuries.

“I’m fine. Just knackered. Coach was not kind and neither is this sofa sympathetic on my back.” Jonghyun said as he lifted his arms slightly, sneaking a glance at me.

I winced in guilt, knowing that it was my fault that he had to spent the las week on the sofa, due to the fact that I had stolen his bedroom.

“Hey don’t look so guilty. It’s not your fault.” He said rolling his eye at me.

I started to protest but he cut me off before so much as a word could escape.

“Hey Jieun. Come over here a second.” He said sitting up and motioned me to move closer to him, although I was already quite close.

Without a second hesitation of protest I did as he said. Before I could ask him why he had asked me to do that, his hand darted out, gripping onto my jacket. With a quick tug, he pulled me onto the seat next to him. My eyes went wide and I landed with a yelp of surprise.

I turned to him, to see him glancing at me with a cautious expression on his face as he watched me reaction and I let out a huff of air as it clicked together in my mind what he was doing.

“Not this again.” I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

Jonghyun gave me a half smile but didn’t give an answer as he leant closer.

“Jonghyun.” I groaned, giving him a pout.

I shifted in my seat trying to discretely put more space between us, because at this distance he had my stomach turning over.

Jonghyun didn’t seem to be in the same state of unrest as me as he leant just the tiniest bit closer, making my heart hammer. I opened my mouth and closed it again, having to swallow before any words would come out.

“I’m serious. Why are you doing this?”

Over the past week – ever since he had found out about my home life – Jonghyun had insisted on testing the boundaries I had set around myself. At my question, Jonghyun’s face turned serious, as he stared at me.

“You’re uncomfortable with people being near your right?” He said solemnly, his eyes scanning over my face slowly, making me squirm.

“I’ve noticed it ever since the day in the parking lot. You’re always trying to put as much distance between you and others as possible. And it’s because of him, right? That uncomfortable look is fear isn’t it? You’re scared.” His eyes darkened a little when he said the last word.

“I want to be able to help you get over that fear. I wan to help you in any way that I can.” I said and I held in my wince at the sad note in his voice.

I knew that helpless feeling all too well and it was my fault he felt that way. He felt useless because I’d made him promise not to say anything

“It’s useless Jonghyun.” I said, letting out a deep sigh as I shook my head at him.

He gave me a pained look as he words left my mouth,

“How do you know that? Maybe one day you can be close to me without feeling uncomfortable.” He said, sounding upset and something close to desperate.

It felt like a kick to the stomach. My lips parted and I shook my head once again, feeling worse when he pulled back completely looking wounded.

“No – I – I didn’t mean it that way.” I rushed, wanting more than anything to get rid of that expression, wincing at how loud my voice had come out.

“What I mean is that it won’t work out because it’s you. Jonghyun.” I closed my eyes, feeling stupid because my words weren’t coming out right.

I was just making it worse. I groaned inwardly.

“Why?” He asked, trying to hide the fact my words had offended him.

How was I meant to explain to him that it wasn’t a bad thing? How was I meant to explain that the type of uncomfortable I felt around Jonghyun had nothing to do with fear. It was something else entirely. Something I didn’t understand.

If I didn’t understand it myself, how on earth could I explain the feeling to him?

I groaned, moving closer to him. Why couldn’t I be smart? Why couldn’t I be amazing with words?

Not able to find the words I took a hold of his wrist, moving his hand so that it was facing palm up so I could lay mine completely flat against his, noticing for the first time that one of my fingers was ever so slightly crooked, compared to his own perfectly straight ones that dwarfed mine in size.

I felt Jonghyun tense as my hand touched his, making my hand want to jerk back to its original place and an apology to escape my lips. But I stayed where I was. He’d held my hand so many times before; this was hardly any different.

“What are you doing?” He asked, but he didn’t sound as hurt as before, making some of the tightness in my chest loosen.

“The reason it won’t work for you Jonghyun is because you’re different. The way I feel about you isn’t like how I feel about anyone else.” I said quietly, not fully trusting my voice to stay steady if I spoke any louder.

I saw Jonghyun’s jaw move, but I refused to look at his face, feeling embarrassed at how stupid that sounded to my ears. It was so annoying that I couldn’t communicate my feelings into worded thoughts.

I was saved from my embarrassment when Jun Young hurtled into the room, Jinki hot on his trail.

“No running in the house you two!” Mrs. Kim’s voice snapped after them from the kitchen (probably having heard their thunderous footsteps), as Jun Young jumped at me.

I caught him just in time, having to snap my hand back away from Jonghyun’s in order to do so.

“Hey don’t hide behind Jieun for protection you little brat!” Jinki snapped.

I raised an eyebrow at him, as Jun Young curled up against me. Over the almost two weeks I had spent in their house Jun Young had become very accustomed to using me as a seat.

“Noona, Jinki Hyung is being mean!” Jun Young pouted, lifting up his face to let me see his puppy dog eyes.

I opened my mouth to respond, but was cut off by Jonghyun who snatched back the hand that had just been in his, bringing it up to his face.

“Why do you have a plaster on?” He asked in concern, as he went cross-eyed looking at the tiny pirate plaster.

I felt a soft smile tilting the edges of my lips upwards.

“Just a tiny cut. I’ve had worse.” I said.

It didn’t occur to me until a second too late that what I said wouldn’t help Jonghyun feel any better. I wanted to hit myself for my stupidity when a dark frown passed over Jonghyun’s face.

“Well look at you being all mother hen.” Jinki joked at Jonghyun, as he dropped into the second sofa, his attention seemingly off of Jun Young now.

Jonghyun scowled, unpleasantly, at him.

“Shut up.” He said moodily, his hand still wrapped around mine.

Although I could have pulled away if I had wanted, I let him continue to hold onto it, wanting to be able to do something to get rid of the unhappy look in his eye in any way that I could.

“Noona! We should play another game!” Jun Young interrupted the two out of nowhere.

“I played earlier.” I reminded him.

“Yeah. But you stopped to help mum cook.” He said with a pout.

“As much as I like to play with you, I actually need to leave soon.” I said as my eyes darted to the wall clock and realised that I was about to be late.

Jonghyun looked up to me with a frown on his face.

“You do?” He asked in confusion.

His grip tightened ever so slightly on my hand, as it to hold me in place. I knew he thought I was talking about going home.

I frowned, knowing that I couldn’t stay here forever, even though that hadn’t been what I had been talking about. I decided to leave that conversation for later though – when Joon Young and Jinki weren’t around.

“Yeah. I told Min that I would take over her shift at the café tonight.” Jonghyun’s expression became less sullen when I said that.

“Oh, I see how it is. Help cook and then don’t stick around to endure the food poisoning.” Jinki said loudly.

I turned towards him with a scowl. I wasn’t that bad at cooking. Besides I was just helping Mrs. Kim to chop up some vegetables and fetch ingredients here and there.

“Ha-ha-ha.” I laughed sarcastically.

I hope you choked on unevenly chopped potatoes Jinki!

“I’ll walk you.” Jonghyun volunteered.

“Alright. Let’s get going now.” I said to him.

There is no point in arguing anymore. I know Jonghyun is dead on set to walk me and fetch me from my work place. He can be a stubborn brat when he wanted to be.

Jonghyun absentmindedly took my hand and we headed for the main door. We both walked, hand in hand in comfortable silence. My mind was weighted with thoughts.

I wouldn’t lie when I say I didn’t love Jonghyun’s house. It was full of life and a comfort that was absent from my own. But didn’t mean that I belonged here. As much as I liked it, I was going to have to leave. I couldn’t keep hiding away there. Life was going to find a way of catching up to me, whether I liked it or not. My hand tightened absent-mindedly on Jonghyun’s making him trun towards me with a questioning look in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked gently.

My heart sunk a little more.

Concern. Something I would never receive at home.

I desperately didn’t want to go back. I wanted to stay with Jonghyun and his bad jokes. Joon Young and his over enthusiasm. Mrs. Kim and her motherly affection. Even Jinki and his snarky remarks. I shook my head, trying to remind myself that I wouldn’t lose any of those things by going back home. But that wasn’t what it felt like.

Home suddenly felt like a prison.

“I’m fine” I lied, pushing my legs forward.

I wanted everything to be fine. I wanted to rewind to the point where I had no idea just how much I was missing out on by staying with my dad.

“So I’ll pick you up after your shift ends?” I hadn’t realised that we reach the café already un Jonghyun said that.

I stared at the glass door leading to the familiar restaurant, before looking back at Jonghyun. I willed myself to tell him I’d be fine. This was a good a time as any to tell him I was going to go home. But those weren’t the words to escape my lips.

“Okay.” I found myself agreeing.

Jonghyun gave me a smile and waved at me.

“I’ll be here at 9pm then. See you Jieun!” He said.

I gave him a smile and wave back. I watched reluctantly as he turned and walked down the street to go home. How I wish I could do the same. My house didn’t feel like it deserve the tittle ‘home’. Jonghyun’s did though.

Just a little longer… and then I’d go home.

I promised myself. I just wanted to hold onto the delusion of belonging in Jonghyun’s family a tiny bit longer.

“JIEUN!” A worried face of Yumi cried out as I entered.

“I know I’m late. I’ll just go and put my coat in the ba –“

Before I could finish my sentence Yumi was cutting me off.

“Oh no its not that.” She said with a deep frown and a frantic look of concern.

“What is it then?” I asked, cautiously, all too aware of how quickly and cruelly reality often choose to come down on people who try and run from their problems.

“Honey – there was a call from your father.” She said softly.

“He was arrested for starting a fight in a bar and he needs your help to go post bail for his release.”

 

A/N: So really hit the fan hard at the end….