A/N: Hello everyone! I know. I've not updated any of the stories a long time. I apologised for that. I was so busy with my new job. I will try my best these few days to update as much as possible. I am very thankful for all the support you've given me so far and I hope you guys would continue to do so. ^^

Jieun’s POV

My fingers shook as I clutched my bag closely to me. They were in here. All of them. I had dragged them out from under my bed the previous night. I had been tempted to flick through them. To read them before I handed them to Jonghyun, just to prepare myself.

But I knew that that would change my mind. If I read the letters again, I would feel too self-conscious about letting Jonghyun read them.

This is it. I realised, my breath hitching in fear.

I was really going to let him read them. I was so terrified that it would change his view on me. Even in such a short time I knew there was no denying that I had become selfishly addicted to him.

If I hadn’t I would be able to let him go. But part of me hated that idea. And that part was big enough that I was really going to do this.

I liked the way he looked at me differently than anyone else did. I liked the way he would give me genuine smiles. I liked that he spoke to me, and called us friends. Even if I had argued with him over it.

I didn’t want it to change.

I could feel eyes all over me as I ventured down the corridor. Could they tell that I was freaking out right now? Or maybe I was over-reacting. Maybe no one was even looking my way. But it felt like they were. It felt like I was drowning under their judging stares. It felt bad enough that I wanted to double back on myself. It wasn’t too late to turn away now.

Except it was. It was too late as soon as I had started to accept Jonghyun’s friendship. As soon as I began relying on it. It was too late, and it took me too long to realise that. I clenched my hands into fists, nervously, begging my heart to stop beating so fast.

I walked down the corridor, hoping that I wasn’t literally shaking from fear, or at very least no one could see it if I was.

I locked my eyes firmly on my target as I rounded the corner, my determination barely with me anymore. But seeing Jonghyun helped. Seeing him with his friends didn’t.

Was I meant to approach him now? Would I be intruding if I did? Then again, what was I supposed to care? I was the school , I wasn’t meant to worry about intruding in on others.

Clenching my jaw I concentrated my eyes on Jonghyun again. He wasn’t looking in my direction; instead he was facing Lee Taemin, a small smile tilting up the corners of his lips as he spoke. Maybe if these letters really did fix everything between us he would smile at me like that again.

With new drive to my determination I approached the small group, my head held high. It didn’t help when none of them looked up as I approached, it would have been easier if they had. Instead now I had to catch their attention. Straightening my posture to ready myself I cleared my throat before calling out his name.

“Kim Jonghyun.” It didn’t sound like my voice.

It sounded stronger than I felt, so much more confident. That encouraged me to continue, even when all their heads snapped up.

“Jieun?” Jonghyun asked looking thoroughly shocked and confused.

I didn’t reply him. Instead I eyed his friends warily. To say they looked impressed to see me would be a lie. They were more surprised if anything.

“Lee Jieun? What are you doing here?” One of them said, with their eyebrows up to their hairline.

I bristled, at the question. I opened my mouth to give him a rude retort, something about shoving off (in less polite terms), when I remembered why I was here.

My eyes landed on Jonghyun. It had been four days since I had first made the decision to show him the letters, and it was only today that I had the courage to do it. It had taken three days of talking myself into it to get here, and now here I was face-to-face to him for the first time in what felt like forever.

He was the reason I was here.

“Yah Minho, Taemin, Kibum. I think we should go.” A feminine voice called out to her friends.

I recognised Min Kyung mostly through her shockingly blonde hair. I felt a rush of gratitude when I realised she was trying to do me a favour by thinning out the audience.

Guilt churned in my stomach. She was doing this for me even though I had point blankly been nothing but a to her. She was one of those nice people, just like Jonghyun.

Before I could say anything to her she was already bustling away Jonghyun’s friends, scolding Taemin like an infant when he began to whine like one.

I’d thank her later. Or maybe I wouldn’t, but I could try and make it up to her. I’d do something to show her how grateful I was somehow.

“Jieun?” Jonghyun called my attention, and I realised that I had just been staring off after Min Kyung, forgetting the original reason for me even being here in the first place.

My eyes went back to Jonghyun, soaking him in. I tried my best not to stare, but it was hard not to.

“Are you okay?” He asked concern leaking into his voice, as his eyes scanned over me. Suddenly I was all too aware of the foot shaped bruise printed across my stomach. It felt too much like he could see through everything and just see me.

So I wasn’t okay, no. Before him I had no complaints of my home life. I was okay with it. I hadn’t wanted friends, or a family like his. I had been fine. Or at least I hadn’t known I wasn’t

I had learnt my place. I knew I didn’t deserve more, but now because of him I wanted more. I wanted his friendship. I wanted to see his smile like I did before. I wanted him to sit with me at lunch and bother the hell out of me.

I missed him, his lame jokes, everything.

“Jieun?” He tried again.

“The letters.” I blurted out, and by his confused face it was clear he didn’t understand.

“If I let you read the letters that’ll fix things right? You won’t ignore me anymore?” I wasn’t meeting his eyes, but instead looking at the wall beside his head.

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he listened. He leaned in closer and I resisted the urge to flinch. This was why I was here. This was why I came here in the first place. To have him closer. Maybe I hadn’t intended for him to be quite this close, but it was better than nothing.

“You’re not making sense Jieun.” He said softly, like he was worried for me.

A month ago I would have cringed at the thought of doing something like this, of so desperately chasing after someone’s friendship. I caught my bottom lip, trying to structure my thoughts. I pushed my hand inside my bag bringing out the stack of letters, deciding it was best to show him.

“These are the letters you wanted to see. Now can you please go back to annoying the hell out of me?”

That sounded desperate. I winced as I saw understanding followed by an emotion I didn’t recognise. But at least it wasn’t disgust, despite how childishly I was being now.

He looked from me to the letters I was holding out to him, waiting for him to take them. He didn’t move an inch to do so though, instead his eyes met mine again.

“You want me to annoy you?” He asked, wrinkling his brow.

“If it means you’re not angry with me then yes.” I nodded, and ran my fingers through my hair.

“Jieun. I’m not angry with you.” He said sincerely, shaking his head as he did so.

“You’re not?” I asked, taken aback.

“But then why haven’t you been talking to me at all?” I demanded to know immaturely.

He tilted his head slowly to the side as I waited impatiently for his excuse. Suddenly a Cheshire cat grin stretched adorably across his face.

“You missed me!” He exclaimed loudly in excitement, making me flinch back and bring a shoulder up to protect my left eardrum, which he had shouted the closest to.

I scowled at him, suddenly questioning why I had bothered coming here in the first place. But then I realised that for the first time in five days the tight clenching feeling in my chest had gone.

“I didn’t say that.” I shot automatically, forgetting that I was here to tell him just that, and put my pride aside.

It felt right now like the last five days had just been a bad dream, because he was right in front of me giving me one of his smiles again.

“You missed me.” He repeated again anyway, sounding completely sure of himself.

“Shut up. Just take the letters will you.” I said ing them in his direction, feeling stupid for standing here holding them as he mocked me.

I saw the smile fade slightly from his face, as guilt took over his expression.

“Jieun I’m not mad at you. You don’t have to give me the letters. They’re really personal for you and I shouldn’t have asked for them in the first place. Can’t we just go back to being friends like we were last week?” He asked.

This was my out. I never had to show him the letters. Things could go back to the way they were. He just said that they would.

This was how he did it, I realised. This was how he had wormed his way past my defences. By just being nice. It was pathetic when you really thought about it. The first person who showed me an ounce of kindness, and now I was greedily demanding more of it.

“They’re not all that nice, but if you want to read them I’ll let you.” I said softly, still holding out the letters.

At my words he gave me a soft smile, one that had my insides clenching - but for one of the first time in my life not in fear.

Instead it felt nice.

He slowly took the letters from my hand, like he knew I was seconds away from changing my mind and he wanted to give me the chance to stop him. But I didn’t.

“Just please don’t judge me.” The plea was on the tip of my tongue.

“So friend.” Jonghyun started, changing the subject when the letters were securely inside his bag.

“Shall I walk you to your lesson? You know, because we’re friends.” He offered teasingly.

“I never said we were friends.” I shot, but truthfully I was glad he was back to saying things like that to me.

“After all we’ve been through, today alone, you’re still not going to admit we’re friends?” He asked in disbelief.

“I just need you to help me get an A in our English project, after that you’re gone.” I shook my head, turning my nose up at him.

“Did you just attempt to make a joke?” He asked when he stopped completely in his tracks, staring wide-eyed at me.

“What do you mean attempt?” I scowled at him.

“To be honest it .” He told me, with a glint in his eyes.

“I changed my mind. I want you to go back to ignoring me.” I lied.

“Don’t get mad at me because you can’t tell a joke right. Here let me give you a proper example. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand?” I rolled my eyes at him, already walking away.

“Because it was two-tired!” He shouted after me, catching up easily with his long strides.

“That’s a terrible.” I said honestly, shaking my head, but I was smiling slightly, even if it was only at the ground.

Just like that everything was back to normal. He was back to telling me his pun filled jokes, and calling us friends.

I just hoped that when he read the letters this all wouldn’t change.

 

Jonghyun’s POV

She had missed me. She didn’t even deny it when I said it’s the second time. And in Jieun’s own way that was her saying she really missed me.

I wasn’t sure what it was that made me so happy to know that, maybe it was that I felt less weird about how much I had missed her knowing that she missed me.

I walked with Jieun to her lesson. Actually she stalked off ahead after I started to make fun of her terrible joke telling skills, whilst I practically jogged to keep up. I would have felt like I was stalking her, except she kept looking over her shoulder to look at me, and there was a small smile on her face that she was trying to hide.

It was hard to believe that just this morning I had been sulking around (my mother’s choice in words), trying to think of ways to get her talking to me at all.

When we reached her classroom, instead of her just leaving me and going into her class alone, she turned to face me again. I paused waiting for her to say something.

She opened , starting to say something, but seemed to change her mind as she closed it again. Sighing she looked to the ground, no longer meeting my eyes.

Something was different. I realised, the letters now felt like they weighed a million pounds in my bag. “I’ll see you in Literature she ended up saying before starting to turn away.

“We have lunch first!” I pointed out, calling after her before she could get too far away.

Her posture seemed to relax and she turned to look over her shoulder, sending me one of her rare smile. It wasn’t a big one, just a slight tilt of her lips.

As she entered her class I heard her teacher yell at her for being late, and Jieun giving her own very colourful response. A month or so ago that would have made me mad to hear her talking like that, but now I just felt grateful that I had gotten to know enough about her to know she wasn’t really like that.

I was late to my own lesson, and got my own disapproving look, but unlike with Jieun no yelling match began. Min Kyung caught my eye as soon as I entered the room and discretely waved to the seat next to her with excitement.

“What happened?” She hissed as soon as I was close enough for her to talk to without our teacher noticing.

What exactly did happen? Wasn’t entirely sure, because the Jieun I knew would have chewed off her own arm before asking for my forgiveness, especially when she hadn’t been in the wrong.

I had thought that all I had been to her was an annoyance, but surely the whole thing proved otherwise. She wouldn’t have apologised, she wouldn’t have handed me the letters, if she had thought of me only like that.

I didn’t realise I was smiling, until Min Kyung squealed loudly catching the attention of a lot of the class. She blushed brightly and tucked some hair behind her ear.

“Thought I saw a spider.” She muttered, looking sheepish.

She got a few annoyed looks, and some annoyed ones, but the lesson proceeded and when Min Kyung turned back to me with a wide grin.

“I’m guessing since you’re not acting all sulky any more, then everything’s sorted between you two?” She asked practically jumping out of her seat in excitement.

I shrugged my shoulders and slowly nodded my head, prepared for another screech. I didn’t get one, instead she started bouncing the balls of her feet on the ground, and knocking her knuckles together lightly.

“Calm down.” I told her, unable to stop my own broad grin.

It felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders to know that I could again talk to Jieun.

“Does this mean that you won’t be eating lunch with us lot?” She asked, smiling knowingly.

I felt a little guilty when she said it. I hadn’t really thought about the fact that I wouldn’t be spending time with them, but as I would be spending time with Jieun. I looked at her sheepishly, but she didn’t look offended.

“You’re so transparent.” She teased.

“I’m just glad you finally stopped being so grumpy.” Jabbing one of her sharp fingers into my rib cage, making me squirm away.

“I wasn’t grumpy.” I grumbled.

“Just admit it, you’ve been a real since you and Jieun had that mysterious fight.”

I rolled my eyes, turning to face the front of the class. I hadn’t been that bad-tempered. I was thankful when our conversation was forced to a stop even if the reason was a pop test. I ignored the fact that Min Kyung was still sending me sly grins as if to say she was going to corner me later and drag out every single detail, in any way possible.

Good luck to her on that. I wasn’t going to say a word. It felt too personal, like only Jieun and I should know. And I was certain that Jieun wasn’t about to start sharing with her. I focused my attention on my test in front of me, concentrating all my efforts on getting the best marks I could.

And when I finished early it felt good to put my all into the paper. Over the last few days I had been too distracted to focus on much of anything without my thoughts drifting away again.

Min Kyung followed me, energetically out of the class when the bell rang and we all put our papers to the front the class, catching herself on to my arm to keep up with my quick pace.

“Tell me everything!” She demanded, much like I had known she was going to.

I just shook my head silently, making her whine.

“Why not? You owe me! I’m the one that got you two the privacy you needed to reconcile.” She jabbed her finger into my side.

“We could have easily just gone somewhere more private to talk.” I pointed out to her, still refusing to say a word.

She pouted childishly, her eyes moving over my shoulder.

“Maybe I should ask Jieun.” She said, making me turn.

And there she was, unsurprisingly on her own, her black hair blocking me from seeing her face, until she gently brushed out of her way behind her ear.

“Okay she wouldn’t tell me anything.” She sighed to herself, when I didn’t even answer her comment, just as Jieun looked up as if she sensed our eyes watching us.

Her eyes met mine me in straight away. She nodded her head in acknowledgement, making my eyebrows rise in surprise. I had expected her just to turn away like she had every other time we had seen each other.

Instead she gave me her own silent ‘hello’, and it didn’t get unnoticed by Min Kyung. She squealed happily tugging on my arm.

“You have to tell me what happened.” She pleaded, forcing my attention away from Jieun.

But I just shook my head at her, before letting my eyes go back to Jieun. She was already walking away though, not turning back.

Something’s different. The thought repeated itself in my mind as I watched the way she stiffly walked away.

I just couldn’t put my finger on what.