A/N: Decided to double update cause I feel guity for not updating for so long. Anyway this is Jonghyun's POV on the little 'fight' that they had. For those who keep wondering what the letter actually contain... well.... the answer is in this chapter ^^ Read on and comment! 

Jonghyun’s POV

“Yah! Kim Jonghyun!” Lee Taemin snapped his fingers in front of my face, making me snap out of my thoughts. It took me a second to remember where I was.

Instead of sitting with Jieun like I had been recently, I was sat back with all of my other friends for lunch. Part of me itched to go outside.

The benches were probably soaked through from the rain earlier, but knowing Jieun that wouldn’t stop her from eating out there anyway. She’d rather sit out there than in here where everyone else was.

“What’s wrong with you?” Taemin asked me with a scowl, when he had to snap his fingers to get my attention once again.

I groaned trying to push all thoughts of Lee Jieun out of my mind. But it wasn’t working. There were too many questions clouding my mind.

Why hadn’t she even come to class? Had there been another note? Did she eat the sandwich I had left for her?

“I don’t know.” I mumbled in reply to Taemin.

“Has this got anything to do with why you’ve suddenly decided to sit at our lunch table again?” He asked, putting down his fork and looking directly at me.

Picking up on our conversation Min Kyung turned in her chair to listen. I went to tell him everything was fine, that I just hadn’t gotten enough sleep, but something else slipped out of my mouth instead.

“Jieun wasn’t in class today.” I muttered looking down at my food with disinterest.

Even though I wasn’t facing him, I could see Taemin raising his eyebrows at me.

“Really? She was in Maths though.” Min Kyung supplied, cocking her head to the side.

I don’t know if I was happy or sad that she was there because her maths class was scheduled after English. Which meant she hadn’t gone home ill in the middle of the day, but it did mean she was skipping our lesson together.

“She did seem a bit off today though. Moodier.” She added on, her eyes drifting towards the doors that lead outside, where everyone knew Jieun sat, before flashing back to mine.

“Did you two have an argument or something?” She asked.

“What do you mean off?” I asked, ignoring her question.

Was there something wrong with her? Maybe she had been ill but came back for Maths.

“I don’t know how to explain it. She just seemed more distant.” She finished with another shrug.

“Lee Jieun is always moody.” Taemin scorned, brushing off her comment before I had the chance to reply.

“Shut up Taemin. You know what I’m talking about.” Min Kyung’s narrowed towards Taemin, while he rolled his eyes back at her.

“No one ever knows what you’re talking about.” He swung his head back, widening his eyes innocently.

“Like, OMG that is so totes amaze.” He mimicked her in a shrill voice.

Min Kyung’s whole expression darkened, then there was a dull thudding sound from under the table followed by Taemin’s cry of pain.

“What the hell, you psycho!” Taemin exclaimed loudly, swinging out his left leg and lifting up his jeans to see if she had left any sort of mark.

Min Kyung flashed her teeth menacingly, daring him to continue complaining, whilst she undoubtedly reeled her leg back for a second kick.

“Guys.” I hissed, interrupting their fight.

Both of them turned to face me, and Min Kyung’s expression softened.

“Sorry, Jongie.” She apologised.

I was still stuck on the ‘seemed off’ comment. What did that even mean? What was ‘moodier’ meant when it came to Jieun?

Maybe I should go check on her.

I dispelled the thought, trying to shake her from my mind. But I couldn’t. All I could think about was that letter. My stomach churned at the thought of it.

If a bus were to hit you tomorrow, who would even miss you?

That was the line that had bothered me the most. Who would even write something like that? What kind of person would write someone that letter?

To think I had thought it was from some secret admirer. I hadn’t listened to her when she told me I wouldn’t like it. I had ignored the pale expression on her face because I thought I had hit the nail on the head with my guess.

The truth however was just twisted.

I’d never understood bullying. Sure I saw it in the movies. Sure the teachers would tell us about it in assembly. But I never really thought about it. But reading that letter made it a whole lot more real.

When I thought of Lee Jieun, I had never once thought ‘victim’. The way she walked around - with her head held high and the don’t--with-me glare stamped everlastingly on her face - she was nothing like the picture of the weak timid person I had grown up with in mind when I thought of someone who was victimised by bullying.

But now it was blatantly clear.

The way people spread rumours about her, called her a , and avoided her as she walked through the corridor, as if she was contagious, like being around her was something to be ashamed of.

“What happened between the two of you anyway?” Taemin asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“One minute you’re following her around like a lost puppy, and the next you’re avoiding eye contact in the hallway.” Min Kyung glared at him harshly.

“You can’t ask something like that!” She hissed.

“Why not?” He asked, glaring straight back at her.

Her eyes flicked cautiously towards me, and then back to Taemin.

“What if it’s a sensitive subject? Don’t be such a moron Taemin.” She said.

“You’ve been asking the same thing! You’re dying to know too!” He accused.

“But I don’t just spout out the question idiot. There’s a certain amount of delicacy and subtlety that things like this have to be dealt with! God why are boys so dense?” Min Kyung rolled her eyes at Taemin.

“We’re not dense. Girls are complicated." He pointed out, earning himself another glare.

“And Jonghyun here is a guy, so yeah I can just ask him what I’m thinking rather than listen to your stupid girl technique.” He said girl like it was a disgusting word, which had Min Kyung furious.

“You’re so insensitive.” She glowered. “It’s a wonder you have a girlfriend at all.”

Taemin rolled his eyes and turned to me. “You don’t mind do you, bro?” He asked.

And I really don’t mind, so I just shrugged my shoulders.

“See!” Taemin gloated making me wince a little.

“So what actually happened?” He asked turning back to me.

I reached forward towards my bottle of water that was resting on the table. Not thirsty. Just needing something to do with my hands. I stared at the bottle as I rolled it between my palms, thinking of how to answer the question.

What had happened?

I wasn’t sure if I liked the way he said I followed around like a lost puppy, but there wasn’t any other way to describe. She hadn’t wanted my friendship; I had been desperately seeking out hers.

Of course she hadn’t wanted to be my friend. She had told me that over and over. But I had thought I had worn her down just a little. But now with the way she had so easily cut me off, the way she had told me with a completely serious and honest face that she still didn’t want to be friends, it hurts.

It didn’t make sense, but it hurts a lot.

It hurts knowing she just didn’t care even a little. It hurts reading that letter about her. It hurts just knowing those letters existed. Worse that she kept them.

How hadn’t I known before? She had said she had gotten a lot of them, and from more than one person. So why was this the first time I found out about them? Was I the only one who had been in the dark? I had never cared to pay attention to Jieun in the past. How long had this been happening? Unable to help myself I had to ask.

I had to know.

“Do you guys know anything about the letters that people stick on Jieun’s locker door?” I had to practically spit out the word letters.

My question was met with silence, forcing me to glance up at my friends who were now watching me intently, no, not friends, just Min Kyung. Taemin was looking at me like I had lost my marbles.

“Letters?” He asked, sounding half amused and half ticked-off. “This was some lovers tiff about some guy sending her love notes?” He asked.

I winced, ignoring the phrase ‘lovers tiff’ and concentrating on the ‘love notes’ part. I had made the same mistake.

I shook my head grimly. How much different things would be if they had have been. Right now I would probably be outside, trying to force bad jokes upon Jieun. Or maybe I would be subtly throwing questions at her as she ate.

Because she was always so much more willing to talk to me when she was eating. I didn’t understand it, but I didn’t question it either. I’m not even sure if she noticed it about herself, and I had never wanted to bring it up in case she started clamming up instead of answering my questions.

And some part of me was just desperate to know about her. Jieun had closed herself off intentionally. That much I was confident of.

“They’re not love notes.” Min Kyung answered for me, capturing my full attention for the first time today.

There was something about the way she spoke that let me know she knew. She knew all about the letters.

“Then what are they?” Taemin asked, raising an eyebrow.

I was just as interested to hear her answer. To hear how she knew. I wanted an explanation so badly. But that wasn’t what I got, instead I got a distant shrug. She didn’t even look up from her food.

“People sometimes write her rude letters and stuff.”

That’s an understatement.

If a bus were to hit you tomorrow, who would even miss you?

“Rude letters?” Taemin questioned, wrinkling his nose.

He clearly hadn’t heard of it happening either. Min Kyung glanced up at him again.

“It’s a girl thing.” She said, going as far as shrugging her shoulders.

How could she do that? How could she just brush it off?

I felt physically sick. It’s a girl thing?! The sentence alone made me angrier than before. Just that phrase. That didn’t make up for anything.

Fighting for a pair of shoes. Painting nails. Gossiping. Those fell under the category of ‘its’s a girl thing. But this? The letters? It wasn’t a girl thing.

It was purely sick.

If a bus were to hit you tomorrow, who would even miss you?

I could now remember the elegant curve of the letters. The small print effeminate handwriting, that had been cleanly scripted across the paper.

A girl thing?!

I suddenly didn’t feel hungry at all anymore, and I was grateful when the lunch bell went off, signalling the start of the next lesson.

I’d never wanted to hurt a girl so badly in my life. Or ever in fact. But right then. Knowing that someone had written that letter with such malicious intent. I could have easily seen myself punching whoever it was.

If a bus were to hit you tomorrow, who would even miss you?

Without even saying a proper goodbye, I stood sharply from the lunch table, forcibly slinging my bag onto my shoulder, hearing my text books and pens rattle inside.

Not even fully realising I was doing it until disappointment set into my heart, my eyes scoured the corridors for the familiar stream of black hair. But I couldn’t see her anywhere.

Damn it! I wanted to scream, kick, and punch something.

If a bus were to hit you tomorrow, who would even miss you? Would anyone care that you were gone? Would anyone notice?

My heart clenched as the words span on repeat in my head, some part of me still hoping to see her in the corridor somewhere, looking for me.

If a bus were to hit you tomorrow, who would even miss you?

I would, I thought.

I would miss her. I would care. I would notice. Whoever wrote that note was wrong.

Because I would.