Jonghyun wasn’t mentally prepared for this. He and the rest of SHINee – along with all their staff, Manager and other associated personnel – had been planning, organising and working out the logistics of this event for months now. However, in all that time, Jonghyun had not had enough time to fully come to terms with what was happening.

SHINee was over. This was the last SHINee show he would ever see. Something that had been so integral in his life for so many years was coming to an end. He wasn’t sure how he was meant to react to this.

He was happy, of course. This ending signified a new beginning for the SHINee members, both as people and in their working life. They had been discussing the end of the group for a while. Each member had other projects they wished to work on that were not possible if they remained as a group. However, each member had also presented reasons not to end their group promotions, each and every time it had come up in conversation. Maybe there was this new song that Jonghyun had written that they really wanted to release. Maybe Onew had a big charity event coming up and he didn’t wish SHINee’s end to eclipse that news and reduce the amount of good he could do. Maybe a terminally ill child had wished for them to visit for Make a Wish. Maybe Key just got hired as the MC of a new music show and didn’t want to lose his spot. Every time there was something, small or large, that made splitting up the group a bad idea at the time.

However, recently, Minho had been approached to act as the lead in a drama. It was a big role, far more long-reaching than his previous roles, and would require a significant dedication of time to complete to a satisfactory degree. When he had approached the other members, looking apologetic yet excited, a few months previous, the offer clutched in one hand, he had broached the topic of a final end for the group once more.

Finally having a definite reason to end, the other members had agreed easily and plans had been set in motion. The higher-ups had needed a little persuading to accept the members’ choice but they soon agreed. There had been a few stipulations to the break up that the SHINee members were more than willing to comply with; The group was to release one final album and complete a large farewell concert – as well sign an agreement that best-of albums could be released in the future. In fact, Taemin had confessed to Jonghyun after their meeting that, if the higher-ups hadn’t stipulated that, the group would have suggested it anyway. It only seemed far to the fans who had stuck with them all this time.

However, this process was clearly not easy on the members, despite their unanimous agreement this was the best option for their futures. Jonghyun had never seen them perform their choreography as enthusiastically as they were on this stage and he had never before seen them give so much to their performances. Onew’s voice was reaching heights Jonghyun hadn’t heard outside of the recording booth and Minho’s rap was more powerful than it had ever been. Each member looked happy to be out on that stage, bathed in neon light and cheered on by thousands of fans, but they also looked sad, with an underlying current of desperation and loss. There was an tinge of melancholy surrounding the entire stadium at the realisation that this was their last shot at this, as a group. Sure they may come back together in the future, as a one-off reunion or for a special performance, but it wouldn’t be the same. Not like it was now. Not like this.

From backstage, Jonghyun could see the tears Key tried to hide as he danced his way across the stage. From the end of the very first song, his eyes had been suspiciously red and wet, however he had hidden it well. The others were also looking a little emotional. In their first speech segment, Onew’s voice had wobbled suspiciously at times and even Minho’s deep timbre sounded a little less steady than normal. Taemin, the little , appeared as unaffected as ever, however, Jonghyun could see his emotions in his dance moves. They were sharper, more powerful and more filled with emotion than Jonghyun had ever seen them before. Like Taemin was conveying all the emotions he couldn’t convey on his face through the way he moved his body.

Honestly, Jonghyun was also emotional. For so many years, he had been going to see SHINee in concert. Initially he had attended as a closet fan, using his sister as a shield, and watched, awed but trying to hide it, as these vigorous young men danced and sang to the best of their ability and were so so happy to do so. Then, Jonghyun had attended as an open fan. The idols were older then but no less enthusiastic as they performed; Their joking and playing around on stage made Jonghyun love them all the more. When Jonghyun attended as an SM Entertainment employee, the concerts felt different in so many ways but exactly the same in others. Their performance was as polished as ever and their songs were the same ones that made the blonde man fall in love with the group in the first place but he also had new knowledge to apply to the situation. He knew exactly how long that one dance move during Why So Serious? had taken Minho to perfect and exactly how many hours Taemin had worked on that high note. He knew Key spent hours making sure his outfit was perfect before the show and he also knew that Onew had been asleep from the end of rehersal until five minutes before curtains up. The most recent shows he had seen he had even more knowledge to apply, that gained from many many years of friendship and camaraderie. He knew when Onew had performed a move slightly wrong because his facial expression would become glassy and fixed as he tried to hide his pain and annoyance. He knew how frustrated Taemin became when he messed up a dance move, even though he was the only one who would know he had done so. He knew that Key and Minho had worked for weeks and weeks to choose and create a performance for their collaboration song in order to make it enjoyable for the audience.

Jonghyun knew all this and to know that after this show, these events would only be memories and this road ended here was a little sad. Grinning at the stage, as he saw Onew looking over at him, he wiped his eyes with one hand. He was a little shocked to feel how wet they came away, he hadn’t realised how much he had been crying.

He chuckled wetly as Taemin also looked in his direction, spinning around fully to look at him between songs. The idol stuck his tongue out, clearly mocking how emotional the composer had become. Jonghyun sent a rude gesture back, resulting in a scandalised look from Key, who had happened to look over at that moment, and a laugh from the youngest SHINee member.

The music ended and Jonghyun observed as a strange stillness stole over the crowd. The idol group had just finished performing one of their newer songs and had entered a talk segment of their show. Usually, the group would leave the stage as the video played and they changed outfits, but this time, they remained, watching along with their fans. The group watched as intently as the crowd did as the message played.

Jonghyun had been with them as they filmed this message. Instead of the usual cinematic, arty clip, the group had instead gone for a tour of important places to them. It started with Taemin, who took the camera to the dance practice room, the wall deliberately redone with the iconic blue clouds. This was a place that was well known to SHINee fans. The videoed Taemin spun around in the room, laughing as he fell to the ground as he talked about the many hours he had spent in that room, both alone and with the rest of the group. He mentioned the fun times they had – the times when Onew fell and managed to wipe out Key and Minho as he did so, the times they ate together, played together and filmed together - as well as the sad times – the times when they felt like they had failed the fans, when they spent more time crying than anything else. The camera then switched to Key who took the camera crew on a tour of a small office deep in the bowels of SM Entertainment, explaining that this small room was where he and the rest of the group were first informed that they were to be just that; a group - prior to that they had been a rag tag group of trainees with no particular purpose and after that moment they became a family. The shot changed again, switching to Minho who was kicking up a football in a small field. Jonghyun, along with many of the crowd chuckled as the male talked about how he used to play football here with the members when they all lived in their first apartment and how it helped them bond and come together, no matter how much some members complained about the activity. The camera shot then changed one final time, this time focusing on Onew. SHINee’s leader was sat out the front of the very venue they were currently in. He talked about how far the group had come and how incredibly proud he was of all they had achieved. He mentioned how they had started, performing to their vocal and dance instructors in a training room, to debuting in front of a live audience and feeling like their hearts were in their throats. He talked about their growth, playing shows across Korea to steadily larger and larger audiences, their discovery that they had fans abroad and even managing to perform stadium concerts in a country where no one spoke their language. To their end, he thanked everyone profusely, fan, staff member and group member alike and wished them all the best in their future endeavours.

As the final shot of the film – a panning shot of the stage set-up – faded, the hush of the crowd remained. When the screen fully turned to black, that silence was broken all at once. A ripple of noise started from the VIP standing area and moved back through the venue until every person in the crowd was screaming and crying in support of the group.

Onew chuckled into the microphone, the sound strangely choked and muffled, “Thank you. All of you. It’s because of you that we could come so far.

“And we are endlessly grateful for all the support you have given us.” Key chimed in, speaking over the noise of the crowd.

 “We’ve come to the last song.” Minho commented, waiting for the screams of dismay and boos of dislike to stop before he continued to speak. “I know, I’m sad too.”

“We won’t disappear from your lives.” Taemin said, grinning when the crowd screamed in response to his words. “We’ll all still be around in some capacity.” The crowd screamed once more.

“If you ever see us, out and about, come say hi. I know I’d love to reminisce!” Key said, grinning, even as tears streamed down his face.

Jonghyun couldn’t judge the rapper for his emotions. That film had been incredibly moving and had drawn tears – not long dried from his face – from his eyes once more. Looking out into the crowd, although it was hard to see from the side of the stage, many of the fans in attendance also seemed to be crying. Some had their arms around their friends, others appeared to have their faces buried in their hands. Honestly, Jonghyun understood all their emotions and he empathized fully. He had had far longer to come to terms with this than they had and he still didn’t feel prepared.

“I will continue with my solo work!” Taemin exclaimed, “Come see my shows and support my performances?” He asked, throwing a heart at the audience. From the screams he received in response, Jonghyun assumed they would do just that.

“I got an acting role,” Minho chipped in, grinning himself when the crowd screamed their approval. “It’s a big deal, I hope. I can’t tell you what yet but I hope it comes to fruition. I’m excited.”

“I got an MC spot.” Key said, “I’d love to see your comments in the contact us portion of the show.” He too threw a heart at the audience, smiling through his tears when they screamed back at him.

“I have nothing definite planned,” Onew said, drawing chuckles from the assembled crowd. “But before we go, I have something I would like to confess to you all.” Onew said, drawing strange looks from the other members of SHINee. Apparently he had not informed them of this ahead of time. Jonghyun was also unsure what was happening, Onew had given no indication he was going to say something special at this show.

“Wha-?” Taemin uttered, looking at his leader in confusion.

Onew ran a hand through his hair, as if unsure how he should start, “I guess I feel like I’ve been lying to you a little and you should know.” Murmurs of confusion spread through the crowd, sounding like a loud buzzing in the room. “For the past, hell close to ten years, I have been seeing someone wonderful.”

The assembled group members looked at the singer in confusion and worry as the crowd erupted in screams of shock. Some screams sounded happy, some sounded upset and some sounded heartbroken. Jonghyun chuckled at the strange shifts of emotion visible in the crowd.

Onew stayed quiet until the news sunk in. He lowered his microphone and conversed quietly with the other SHINee members. Jonghyun couldn’t hear their words, due to their lack of microphones, but he did see their expressions even out a little in understanding. Clearly, Onew had soothed their worries about his plans.

Taemin took over speaking, his words cutting through the sound of the crowd and causing them to gradually quiet down. “As some of you may know, Kim Jonghyun has been one of SHINee’s primary composers for years and is a close friend to all of us.”

“He’s basically the fifth member of SHINee with the amount of time he spends with us.” Minho chimed in.

Jonghyun watched in confusion as the group started discussing him. Apparently, the majority of the crowd was also confused by this sudden change in topic. Although, looking closely at the VIP section at the front, there were a few people whispering furiously to their friends and pointing at the stage. Apparently they had worked something out.

The composer was so distracted observing the crowd that he failed to notice Key approaching where he was standing. He certainly did notice however, when the rapper grabbed his wrist and pulled him onto the stage. He stumbled in an ungainly manner and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he realised thousands of people had just witnessed him tripping over his own feet.

As he approached the other SHINee members he looked at them all in confusion, “What am I-“

“This,” Onew said, talking over the blonde, “is Kim Jonghyun. SHINee’s not-so-secret weapon. Can we show him some love?”

Jonghyun blushed a furious red as the crowd complied. The sound was so much more intense from here on the stage. The sounds of thousands of voices all screaming and cheering at once washed over him and it was exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure.

“This,” Onew repeated, “is also the love of my life and the man I hope to marry someday.”

Jonghyun spun around on the spot and looked at his boyfriend in shock. He had never heard those words from the man and, despite gay marriage not yet being legal in Korea, it was an incredibly touching sentiment. One he wholeheartedly agreed with. However, what was more shocking was that Onew had just outed himself to the entirety of this crowd and soon, the entirety of Korea.

Gay rights were slowly gaining momentum in the country. More than one celebrity had come out with their uality and been accepted by the public with minimal backlash. However, none were as famous as Onew and none had done so in such an obvious and startling manner.

Luckily, the crowd didn’t seem adverse to the idea. Jonghyun supposed that was partially because many had already put two and two together from the idols’ previous statements and those who did disagree were drowned out by the screams from the rest. Their screams had changed in pitch and intensity and there was a strange undercurrent of other noise underneath that Jonghyun was sure were many people expressing their shock.

The blonde didn’t have much time to consider these facts as his boyfriend approached him, unbeknownst to Jonghyun who was deep in thought, and kissed him firmly on the lips, knocking all rational thought from his head.

Jonghyun looked up at the singer as he pulled away and knew his face must be a picture. Shock and confusion were the two emotions he was feeling most strongly at that moment and he wasn’t quite sure how he should act in this situation.

“Now,” Onew continued, “we have one final song to sing. I would like to invite Jjong to sing along with us-“

“Jinks?” Jonghyun asked in shock as a microphone was into his hands.

Onew ignored his boyfriend’s words and carried on speaking. “This is a song written specially for this event to honour you, the fans.”

“Let’s go!” Minho cheered, pumping his arm in the air as the backing track began to play.

Jonghyun felt himself being swept along with the atmosphere as he clutched his microphone and moved in close to the SHINee group huddle that was forming.

“Let’s do this!” Taemin cheered, whooping happily.

“Fighting!” Key and Onew cheered.

Jonghyun chuckled as he too whooped. This may be SHINee’s last stage. He may currently be on stage in front of thousands of people. He may have just been outed to the same people. But he couldn’t care less because he was here with Onew. Onew and some of his closest friends and they were all about to blow the roof off this building.

Sure, there were many challenges to come. That’s a given in life. However, Jonghyun couldn’t care less. He was exactly where he wanted to be.

His life was nothing like he could have imagined it would be when he was nineteen.

No, it was better.

Here he was, on stage with his favourite group, openly dating his favourite member and unashamed to admit any of it. He was finally able to say that he was the BlingBling he had wanted to be when he was nothing more than a closeted teenager afraid to tell his friends about his favourite group.

He was a SHINee fanboy and he was proud to admit it.

 

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CHAPTER NOTES: So… that’s it. That’s the end. Thank you for coming along for the ride and thank you for sticking with me for so long. This fic has been in my life for so long (well over a year now), that it’ll feel strange to not have it anymore.

Final statistics for this story (as of the minute I post this) are: 

Started (writing) December 2014 before my final year of university.

Finished (writing) February 2016 after I graduated.

Started posting March 2016 (I think), the same month I moved to Korea to begin teaching.

Finished posting 27th May 2016 when I have been in Korea for 2 months.

56 chapters.

159,065 words.

300 comments.

101 subscribers.

7630 views. 

Once again, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it <3

I'll come back one day with another story. No guarantees when but it will exist. I write very slowly and I like to have a complete work before I post anything (bar final edits of course), but it's in the works. I may also revisit this verse occassionally and posting one-shots if I get inspired. These won't be plot heavy or anything but they may happen. Who knows.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this story and I hope to see you around soon.