CHAPTER 17 – Onew is unequivocally nice

www.kpopnews.com/article/2015/06/SM-ent-release-statement-against-bullying

General

SM Entertainment releases statement against bullying among fans

8 June, 2013 - 10:52am

Following a recent case of bullying among fans of 4-member boy group, SHINee, SM Entertainment has released a statement.

On the 8th of June, a representative from the company announced, “bullying in any form is not to be tolerated and we are currently investigating a case where an SM Entertainment employee’s personal details were released to the public with the intent of ridicule.”

They also went on to say, “SM Entertainment only hires individuals qualified and deserving of the position in question. All employees of SM Entertainment went through similar interview processes and were determined to be right for the role they undertook. There is no possibility of bribes or corruption in our hiring practices.”

This announcement follows the bullying of an SM Entertainment employee, Kim Jonghyun, the previous winner of a composition competition to write a song for SHINee. Many took offence to Kim’s presence on a SHINee fan-site as they believed he was merely using the platform as a means of career advancement after it was revealed that a series of events linked to his winning of the contest led to his eventual hiring at SM Entertainment.

Source: SM Entertainment broadcast

 

Following the release of the official SM Entertainment statement, Jonghyun had become a little more alive. The slew of positive comments from many sides had helped to buoy his mood by quite a lot. However, the release of the statement and the slew of news articles had unfortunately led to more people viewing the original post and hence, judging him. Thus, although the supporters far outweighed the nay sayers at this point, the blonde was still unable to access his favourite site in his free time die to vicious teams of ‘true SHINee fans’ trying to ‘protect’ their idols.

He had considered branching out, joining other sites and creating a new name, but it had felt wrong somehow, like it wouldn’t really be him. He knew it was a strange way to think about it, considering he never gave away any prudent personal details when he was BlingBling but he had given enough that making a new account just felt wrong to him.

Unfortunately, that meant the blonde was still without his online outlet. After talking to Sungkyu, his sister and Jiwoong (who wasn’t much help despite being a ‘comforting genius’) he had come to realise that this wasn’t as much of an issue as he had previously thought, but it still . He had spent so many years checking that site whenever he got home or had some free time that it was almost a part of his life now. It felt odd to go through his days without it. He could still browse, of course, and read all the new posts, but that just wasn’t the same. Plus, there were lurking threads about fandom ‘sneaks and liars’ and the main post kept bouncing back to the top of the page periodically. It just wasn’t a fun place to visit anymore.

Thus, the blonde was still a little out of sorts.

Strolling into the office that morning, Jonghyun hadn’t expected anything out of the ordinary to occur. He had some editing and critiquing to do on a piece another composer in the company had written and he was expected to write a report on his findings. It was all part of SM Entertainment’s quality control procedures and took place with every single piece written by in-house composers. Hence, he was prepared for a busy but boring day.

Therefore, Jonghyun was a little surprised when he walked into the office and saw Sungkyu sat at his desk, playing around with his electric keyboard with a look of concentration on his face. As the blonde approached his desk, the composer looked up, smiling lightly at him and removing the headphones – Jonghyun’s headphones – that he was wearing.

“Jonghyun, I didn’t want to miss you. Please come see me after lunch, 1pm. We have a meeting.”

“We do?” Jonghyun asked, confused. He hadn’t been informed of a meeting. Usually meetings with the higher-ups were scheduled far in advance and emailed round to everyone involved and his solo meetings with Sungkyu were always arranged at least a day in advance.

“We do.” The man nodded. Standing up from Jonghyun’s chair, the man looked his pupil straight in the eye, "Don’t be late.”

“I won’t…” Jonghyun said, still confused, as the man walked out of the room, presumably back to his own office. “Why didn’t he just email me?” The blonde asked himself. Not able to think of an answer, the young composer shrugged and got ready to work for the morning.

Sitting down, Jonghyun groaned in annoyance. His mentor had adjusted his chair. It had been perfectly set to match Jonghyun’s seating preferences and now it was too high and the back was too far forward. Shifting around, Jonghyun started adjusting both settings, hoping to get them back to where they were prior to the unwelcome adjustments.

Five minutes later he had to concede defeat and sighed as he realized the settings were as close to original as he was going to get them. They still weren’t right but he could get used to them. Muttering to himself, the blonde logged into his computer and started to draft an email to his mentor that expressed his annoyance at this situation adequately.

He failed to notice the looks the other members of the office gave each other over his head. This was the most emotion they had seen from the blonde in days and they were glad he was almost back to normal. They hadn’t been informed of the situation that had led to his poor mood over the last week or so but they had been able to work it out fairly easily after the release of the official SM Entertainment statement against bullying.

Youngchul made eye contact with Junghee over the partition and both nodded to each other in agreement – they would not mention the incident for fear of making the man’s mood worsen again and would do their best to get the young man to socialize once more. It had been days since the composer had eaten lunch with them and honestly, they missed it. The blonde was an injection of youth into their otherwise jaded office and they relished his views and opinions in their discussions. Even if hedid have an unhealthy love of SHINee – in the SM Entertainment offices, surrounded by idol paraphernalia a love like that was hard to hide.

-

Following a relaxing lunch with the other office members, where Jonghyun didn’t contribute much to the conversation but enjoyed the company nonetheless, the blonde made his way to his mentor’s office. Walking in after only a cursory knock on the door, the young man stood expectantly in front of the other man.

“Sit down for a sec,” The composer said, gesturing at the seat opposite his desk, “we’re a little early.”

Jonghyun did as the man asked, sitting gingerly on the edge of the chair. “Early for what? You never said what this meeting was for.”

“I didn’t, did I?” The man mused, though it was clear he already knew the answer to his own question. “Someone in another department wanted to meet you.”

“Another department?” Jonghyun asked, leaning forwards in his chair, “Like the production department, is it about the song I wrote? Because I actually had some ideas-“

“No, it’s not that.” The composer cut off the younger man, “Though I can certainly arrange that meeting if you would like.” Jonghyun nodded eagerly and the elder man made a quick note for himself on his to-do list to arrange that later. “We’ll have to arrange to meet up ourselves before that, I’d like to hear these ideas.”

“Of course,” Jonghyun nodded. “So, what’s this meeting about if it’s not that?”

Sungkyu chuckled, the boy looked so nervous. He was sat right on the edge of his seat, his fingers twisting in the material of his trousers. “It’s nothing scary, I promise. It’s not a job evaluation or anything.”

Jonghyun relaxed a tiny amount, a little tension leaving his frame. However, he was still fidgety and nervous. “Then what is it?” He asked, his voice slightly higher in pitch than normal.

“Something we should be heading to now,” Sungkyu said after checking the time. “We need to go downstairs.”

The whole walk to the lifts, Jonghyun pestered his mentor with questions, trying to extract the information he wanted from the man. As the lift descended to the second floor, the blonde’s voice trailed off and his incessant questions finally coming to a stop. Instead the lift was over taken by silence as the younger composer sank into a contemplative silence. The walk from the lift to the meeting room, one of the many smaller conference rooms in the building, was tense. Jonghyun was still silent and his head kept turning to look at his mentor before quickly turning back to the front when the man showed any indication of looking back at him. Sungkyu chuckled, it was clear the younger man wanted to ask a lot of questions but he was too nervous to do so. He knew the blonde still considered himself the newbie and held the misguided belief that he could still lose his job at any time. Thus, any unknown situation, such as this one, tended to worry him more than they should.

Grasping the door handles, Sungkyu spoke to the boy one final time before opening the door, “You’re freaking out unnecessarily. It’s nothing to be worried about.”

Pushing the doors open, far more dramatically than was necessary, Sungkyu pushed the blonde into the meeting room and shut the door behind him with a snap.

“Easy for you to say...” Jonghyun muttered mutinously before trailing off in shock at the sight in front of him. “Holy hell!” He yelled before quickly correcting himself, “No wait, I mean. Hello” He gave a sloppy bow along with his shocked greeting and continued to mutter to himself, just staring at the male in the room “I’m imagining this, I must be. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I’m asleep and Sungkyu didn’t just. And this isn’t. And you aren’t. And I’m definitely not. It just isn’t...”

If he had been able to think clearly at that moment he would have realised how strange he probably looked. He was stood by the doorway, having frozen after being shoved through it, staring at the one other person in the room, a string of unintelligible mumbles leaving his mouth.

“I see your habit of talking when you’re nervous hasn’t changed.”  A voice, connected to the source of Jonghyun’s emotional confusion, chuckled.

Backing up to the wall, its solidarity providing comfort that maybe this situation was in fact real, Jonghyun looked at the male in front of him. He looked good. Really good. Better than the last time they had met. The other had been barely twenty back then, Jonghyun not even that, and both had still had some growing to do before he could claim to have reached full adult hood. But here, in front of him was all the evidence of the growth and maturity that over three years can bring.

Onew’s hair was currently an attractive shade of reddish brown and Jonghyun was sure that colour had a special name but, at that moment, he could barely remember his own name so it was probably asking him too much to remember specific vocabulary as well. The singer’s eyes were sparkling in amusement, free of the makeup he usually wore yet looking as alluring as ever, his lips stretched into an amused grin, the plump skin pink and slightly chapped. His frame had also filled out a little, the awkwardness of youth gone from his limbs and all the baby fat he had had (minimal as it may have been) had melted away.

It was official, the man had become as attractive in person as Jonghyun had always imagined and the blonde was still hopelessly drawn to the other male.

Standing up, an action that caused his skinny jeans to grow tight across the thighs and highlight their shape quite wonderfully, Jonghyun absently noticed, the idol approached the composer and held out his hand, “It’s good to see you again, Jonghyun.”

On shaking the older male’s hand, Jonghyun found himself guided to a seat and the two sat down opposite each other at the small meeting table. “You remember me?”

“Of course I do.” Onew chuckled, “You’re quite memorable.”

“I am?”

“Of course, how many other people have written such an amazing song for us?” The singer chuckled again, his voice soft yet oddly loud in the small room. The sound was music to Jonghyun’s ears and he allowed himself to become absorbed in the experience. He still wasn’t certain this was actually happening, that he was really in the same room as Onew once more, but he would make the most of this moment, dream or not.

Blushing slightly and looking down at the table, Jonghyun twisted his fingers together, “Thank you. I was really proud of that one.”

“As you should be.” Onew said, reaching across the table to grasp the younger’s hands, not noticing or choosing to ignore the way Jonghyun tensed at the contact and immediately stilled. “It’s a shame I came here in such poor circumstances.”

Jonghyun looked across at the idol member in confusion. It was like this day was filled with people determined to leave him out of the loop. “Poor circumstances?”

“We were informed about the...” The male hesitated, obviously unsure about how to phrase what he wanted to say, “bullying issue.”

“Oh...” Jonghyun said, looking down at the table once more. The creeping sadness that he had managed to suppress all week came into the forefront of his mind once more and he sighed heavily, “that.”

“We recorded a message for the fans, explaining how bullying isn’t ok, no matter the circumstances. I just wanted to make sure you were ok with it before we released it.” The idol explained, calmly. His face, that was previously so happy now showing nothing but seriousness.

Jonghyun couldn’t help but notice absently that this, this seriousness and intense focus, was the reason this man was the leader of SHINee. Many had questioned in the past, how someone so nice and calm could control the group. Key and Taemin were known to be quite rowdy and, initially, people were concerned that the older male would be steamrolled, unable to control them due to their strong personalities. However, over the years, the singer had proven time and time again that he could, and would, exert his strength when necessary. It was partly due to this trait that SHINee had been so successful. The leader knew when to push s and when they would break if they kept going.

Jonghyun couldn’t help but feel a little sad at what the male had said, however. It was fantastic that the group was so willing to support their fans but Onew’s visit suddenly seemed a lot less personal. It now seemed far more like a business meeting. His euphoria at meeting his idol faded a little, the creeping sadness didn’t retreat and his afternoon started to feel like work once more.

His emotions must have shown on his face in some way, as the other male was quick to reassure the composer, “That was one reason for coming here. The other was to see how you are. I cleared my afternoon so we could just talk.”

“You cleared...” Jonghyun looked up in shock, “The entire afternoon for me?”

“Yep,” Onew grinned. “So past watching the video, which we’ll do later, we are free as birds. Figuratively.”

“But...” Jonghyun looked positively stunned, “I have work, my report-“

“Is fine until tomorrow.” Onew reassured. “Your boss, Sungkyu?” He said questioningly, although didn’t stop his flow of speech, “Arranged it so you could take the afternoon for mental health reasons.”

“That sneaky rat.” Jonghyun gasped. “I can’t believe him. I’m gonna have to buy him a bottle of wine or something now.”

Onew laughed loudly, before turning to look the other man in the eyes once more. His previous serious mood had faded and his gentle smile was back on his face. “So, update me. How’d you get here? You were a barista before.”

Jonghyun gaped, the other male remembered him. Not in that cliche’d ‘of course I remember you’ way that many idols said it, but really remembered him. He remembered him enough to remember small details about his life.

“It’s because of you,” Jonghyun began, blushing and picking at the cuffs of his shirt, “and Sungkyu.” He reiterated the story of how he ended up as an SM Entertainment employee to a happy looking Onew. The other male seemed genuinely interested and pleased for the blonde, chiming in occasionally with questions and laughing in appropriate places.

“Wow, that’s awesome. Can I tell that story to other people? ‘Idol helps normal teen achieve his dreams’.” Onew said, his hands making dramatic gestures in front of him as he spoke.

Jonghyun snorted with laughter, turning his head away from the idol, not able to look at him due to second hand embarrassment. “Of course.”

“Yes!” Onew cheered, exaggeratedly, his arms in the air. “I did it!”

“Did what?” Jonghyun questioned, looking at the other male once more, almost having to look away immediately due to the dorky look on his face.

“I made you smile.” The singer said, smiling softly himself. “I’d feel terrible if I left without making you smile, since it’s partially my fault you’re upset in the first place.”

“What?” Jonghyun asked, confused. “No it’s not.”

“It is, though.” Onew said, his voice and face serious once more. Looking the blonde in the eye, he grasped his hands across the table – Jonghyun managing not to tense up this time. “You were bullied because of SHINee. Because of our fans. I want to make it up to you.”

“No.” Jonghyun said, shaking his head. “No, I was bullied because I lied.” He hesitated over the word ‘bullied’. He hadn’t yet become comfortable with admitting that was what happened and he hated showing weakness, especially in front of someone he admired. Saying he was bullied, to Jonghyun, seemed like admitting he was too weak to fight back. He let those people get to him and he should have been stronger to avoid it.

Onew looked at the other male for a long time, waiting for the young composer to meet his eyes. The silence stretched on, long but not awkward, until finally, the blonde gave in, turning towards the idol.

“You were bullied because people were jealous, because they couldn’t handle that you have done more in your life than they ever will. You are amazing, Kim Jonghyun.” Onew said, smiling supportively.

Jonghyun’s gaze faltered, as he looked down at the table, his vision becoming blurry. “No I’m not.” He sniffed quietly, hoping to stop the pressure behind his eyes and the tightness in his throat – it didn’t work. “I couldn’t attend a SHINee show on my own or buy a CD without my sister pretending to be a fan because I was scared. For years I used her as a cover. I couldn’t even admit who I was online.” He sniffed again as the pressure became too much and a trail of liquid made its way down his face. Looking up at the singer, his idol, he whispered, “I’m just a scared boy who’s scared of being judged for who I am.”

Onew reached out gently and wiped under the blonde’s eyes, removing the tears. “Aren’t we all? Aren’t we all scared at heart? I know I am. I put on a front that I’m unaffected but every negative review hurts and every mean comment makes me question myself.” Leaning forward, he spoke softly, “It’s human nature to be scared and it’s human nature to be hurt. It’s not a weakness. You are one of the strongest people I know.”

“No I’m not.” Jonghyun said, looking down at his hands which were still being gently held by Onew. The singer’s fingers gently gripped Jonghyun’s wrists, acting as a warm comfort and a source of grounding for the rattled composer.

“Yes,” The singer said, the strength of his voice causing Jonghyun to look up and meet his eyes once more. “You are. That story you told earlier, how you came to work here. That showed strength. How many people would have chickened out at the first hurdle? You went all the way, you submitted your work to a faceless panel, fully aware they would judge it. You went out of your comfort zone to attend school. You came to work at a company with a reputation for being cut throat. You did all of that.”

“But Sungkyu-“

“Merely provided the tools. You did everything else.” Onew said, smiling softly, “You are an incredibly strong man, Kim Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun felt another round of tears make their way down his face. However, in contrast to before, these tears were of happiness and relief. He wasn’t sure he fully believed the other male, he wasn’t as strong as the singer thought him to be. However, having someone believe in him, someone so integral to Jonghyun’s life, it was an incredible feeling. Wiping his eyes, he smiled softly, still not quite believing this was happening.

“Now,” The singer announced, “let’s watch that video shall we? I apologise for the kids’ behaviour. I tried to get them to be serious, but you know how they are?”

Jonghyun chuckled, rearranging his chair to look at the projector screen on the far wall of the room, as Onew set up the video on the computer. “I do, indeed.”

 

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CHAPTER NOTES: Onew is one of my favourites. He’s a super dork but also super nice. At least, that’s how I see him. It makes him a cutie-patootie to write :3