Jonghyun looked out of his bedroom window and sighed. It had been two weeks since he last saw SHINee in concert and his life had returned to its usual, dull routine. The rain outside was relentless and strong, battering against his bedroom window in a loud and unerring beat. He had fully intended to go outside and take a run this evening. His shift at the coffee shop had been fairly easy; there were no excessively difficult customers and even the after work rush had been slightly lighter than normal. Thus, he had more energy than usual and had fully intended to burn it in a productive way. After all, his developing muscles were something he was very proud of.

Sadly, now that the rain had started and didn't look like it was going to stop, Jonghyun needed a new plan for the evening. He could do many things but he felt too twitchy and amped up for most of them. His body was all prepared to exercise even if his mind knew that it wasn't possible any longer.

Most days, after work, he would sit and compose but with his hyped up thoughts he wasn't sure he would be able to come up with anything good. Composing took focus and patience which he didn't think he possessed right at that moment.

There were many other things he could do: he could study his finances and see how much closer he was to his goal of attending a music college, he could watch TV or he could do some more self-study on music and composing. However, he couldn't bring himself to do any of those at this moment. Groaning in frustration and stretching out the muscles in his shoulders and arms, Jonghyun tried to gather enough focus to do something at least mildly productive. Standing up, he paced the room absently. Jonghyun ran one hand over his largest SHINee poster, he mused for a few seconds at how beautiful the men (boys) really were. Shaking his head, he moved away from the wall once more and looked around the room hoping to spot something that could occupy him for an evening.

Throwing himself down on his bed, the young man huffed in an annoyed manner and pulled his laptop towards himself, flipping it open as he did so. Screw productivity, he was taking the day off. Typing in his password quickly he waited impatiently for the machine to log him in, his fingers tapping absently next to the track pad. Kicking his legs out behind him, the teen moved to lie on his stomach like a child. He navigated to his favourite website; it was one he had wasted many an hour perusing. So much so that many other users of the site had come to recognise his online pseudonym, `BlingBling`, and he had held long conversations on the live chats and the forums alike with many on regular occasions. However, not a single person on the website knew his true name or even his true gender. There was a reason for this, of course, and that was the man's fear of judgement for being a SHINee fan.

The site, a SHINee fansite, was one of the most popular forums and blogging sites dedicated to the kpop group around. There were many other sites, of course, but none had lasted as long or accumulated as many members as the one Jonghyun most liked to frequent. It hosted many of the fandom's most well-known members, from fan site masters to fanfiction writers, and there was nearly always activity in the live chats and forum posts.

Jonghyun had been a member from almost the beginning, ever since he had decided his admiration for SHINee wasn’t a passing fancy and was, in fact, here to stay. He had done a lot of research on the group and, after finding the forums through a fan site master’s blog, had silently lurked for a few weeks before he even considered making an account. Sadly, male members were not common on the site; on any kpop fan site. This was mostly due to the fact that male SHINee fans were far outnumbered by female fans. Jonghyun would freely admit that he wasn’t especially confident in his identity as a fan. He was scared of the judgement that may follow any admission he would make. Admitting you were a fan of an all-female idol group was one thing; although among people his age even that was considered a little strange. Most people were of the opinion that once you graduated high school you were too old for idols. Admitting that, as a male who had already graduated high school, you were a fan of an all-male idol group, now that was another thing entirely. Many would label him as weird and, not wanting to deal with that, Jonghyun had decided not to disclose his identity online in any way. Thus, whilst many members of the site created regular blog posts about themselves and their lives, Jonghyun never had. He stuck mainly to the general forums and the live chat, talking only about the group and his admiration for them. The closest he ever got to talking about his own life were his occasional posts about a concert had attended or his reviews of a song or show. Even then, everything was focused around SHINee and very little was said about himself.

Deciding to avoid the forums today, wanting the speed of live communication instead of having to wait for forum replies, Jonghyun navigated to the fan site. Logging in to his account quickly, the teen first scanned the brightly coloured home screen to ensure there was no vital SHINee news he had missed. Seeing nothing of importance, he clicked the live chat link.

Shifting slightly as he waited for the chat to load, a process that sometimes took a while, Jonghyun rearranged himself on his bed. Sitting up once more, he rearranged his bed pillows until he had created a nice padded area of wall to lean against. Placing his laptop down on the side of the bed, Jonghyun sat back comfortably before pulling the device back over to himself and placed it in his lap.

Happily, he saw that he had successfully logged into the chat system and already people were greeting him. It always made him feel good that the people on this site truly liked BlingBling. BlingBling was still him; his personality, his thoughts, his opinion. Despite not being open about his life, people still liked BlingBling as a person and therefore, liked Jonghyun as a person. It was a nice feeling.

He had friends offline, of course. There were people at work who he enjoyed speaking to. His boss was especially nice to him and he enjoyed their regular conversations about life, the man’s daughter, school. He was also still in contact with a few people from high school. It was a little difficult to keep those relationships considering most of the people from high school went straight into the military or to university and most of his peers had vanished completely from Jonghyun’s life following graduation. Those few that had remained he did not contact overly often. They were also not aware of a lot of facets of Jonghyun’s personality. He was unwilling to risk alienating them by admitting he was gay or loved idols. However, he still considered them friends. They were just different from the people he spoke to online.

BlingBling has logged in

StuckOnew Heya Bling!

LockandKey Welcome

Juri99 wass up bling?

BlingBling Hi all. How are we?

StuckOnew Good.

StuckOnew Actually

StuckOnew Help us solve a debate. Who's the best member of SHINee?

LockandKey KEY! Always Key

Juri99 Minho

BlingBling That's just a question of bias. There is no best member.

LockandKey KEY

BlingBling if you asked who my bias was that would be easy. But best member is not really fair. They all play their roles in the group and all of them are the best in some way.

StuckOnew always so logical Bling. So boring

BlingBling Oy! I’m not boring :P

StuckOnew so who is your bias?

BlingBling Isn't that obvious by now? Do you know me at all? xD I'm a total Onew fan.

Juri99 but hes soooo boring hes like the worst one

StuckOnew that's not really fair. He does as much or more than the others.

BlingBling he’s basically perfect though

Juri99 ugh whatever you guys anyways

Juri99 has logged out

BlingBling well she was just a ball of sunshine, wasn't she?

StuckOnew Shining brighter than any

StuckOnew so, why Onew. Let's see if our reasons are the same :P

StuckOnew if my bias wasn’t already obv

StuckOnew You know, because of the usernam

BlingBling Beware, I can talk about this for a long time

StuckOnew I'm prepared

StuckOnew because so can I

BlingBling Ok you have been warned.

BlingBling Well, I guess the first thing is I love his strength. He is the leader of one of the most popular groups around and that can't be easy.

StuckOnew omg yes and it's got to be twice as hard with such different personalities in the group

StuckOnew like imagine all the fighting with the others Taemin would do. He’s a kid, kids do that they get all argumentative and stufff

BlingBling right?

BlingBling But at the same time, I love how gentle he is. I've never seen him say a bad word to or about anyone. No matter what.

BlingBling I just respect that

LockandKey even I have to admit thats awesome and I love key for his honesty and bluntness

LockandKey I need more key in ma life

LockandKey but sometimes you need a little Onew

LockandKey because nice guys are the best sometimes

BlingBling i know what we see on tv and stuff is all controlled and scripted and whatever. But so many people describe him as gentle and nice that it has to be based on truth.

StuckOnew it has to be. I refuse to believe it isn't.

StuckOnew I agree with everything you said btw. But can we talk about his voice.

BlingBling the voice though

StuckOnew it's like in my ears

LockandKey sounds messy and painful

BlingBling xD gross

BlingBling But ahh it is magical. I love how he isnt afraid to sing old trot songs and how he nails them every time

BlingBling and his voice compliments the other members' perfectly

StuckOnew he looks drop dead gorgeous in the group photos too

StuckOnew I drool every time

LockandKey bet thats embarrassing in public.

StuckOnew you bet

StuckOnew but it’s worth it for Onew

BlingBling I understand the feeling. He is gorgeous. I want one of my own :p

StuckOnew you’ll have to fite me for him

BlingBling Ill win. I’m stronger than I look

LockandKey are we done with the Onew fest now?

StuckOnew never!

BlingBling haha don't get me wrong. I love all of the members. They're all amazing and it wouldn't be SHINee without a single one of them. I just don't know. There's something about Onew.

LockandKey ok ok we get it. You want Onew as your boyfriend. Now what about Taemin on that variety show? You know the one with the guy. Damn, what was his name…

LockandKey The comedian guy. Come on guys. You know what show I mean.

StuckOnew I really really don’t

LockandKey bleh, you

LockandKey either way, Tae’s hair was… not cute. It looked kinda odd on him. I hope they fix it soon

Jonghyun blushed as he read the boyfriend comment. Looking up at his wall, where a large poster of the group held centre stage he couldn't help but contemplate the idea. What if Onew was his boyfriend?

The barista had long since come to terms with the fact that Onew was basically his ideal type. However, he had never really considered the idea that they could date. For one thing, they would probably never meet and if they did it would be for mere seconds at a fan sign event. Jonghyun would probably just blend into the crowd of other fans, all there to meet the idol and many of them so much more interesting than Jonghyun. Another reason was, Onew probably wasn't gay. Jonghyun knew not all the celebrities that claimed to like women really did, it was just improbable that they were all telling the truth and information on uality was extremely tightly controlled. However, the chance that his one bias was actually gay was so slim it wasn’t really worth considering. Not to mention that, even if Onew was gay and he did meet Jonghyun, they possibly (probably) wouldn't be compatible any way. Why should an idol like Onew settle for a simple barista like Jonghyun? It was just too unlikely a thing to happen.

Banishing any further thoughts on the subject, the man turned back to the chat room. In the mere seconds Jonghyun had been distracted the conversation had turned to recent TV appearances by the idols. This was a conversation Jonghyun was able to and always willing to get involved in.

 

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CHAPTER NOTES: StuckOnew is one of my favourite characters to write. Has anyone seen Monstar? I sort of based the character on the character Shim Eun Ah from that show.