Jonghyun watched with a strange sort of detachment as the SHINee members filed onto the brightly coloured set. He had been flipping channels absently, not really paying attention to what he was skipping past, when he had heard mention of SHINee. Without really thinking about it, he had stopped pressing the buttons on the remote and he had soon found himself absorbed.

The show appeared to be some sort of variety show which featured a range of guests from various facets of the entertainment industry and asked them to recall stories from their past in regards to a prompt they were given. Jonghyun vaguely recalled having seen it once or twice. However, no celebrity he had ever cared about had guested on it before, so it had never really held his interest.

Jonghyun assumed he had caught the show near the beginning as the guests were still arriving. However, the seating section of the show’s set appeared to be half full already, with a random selection of actors, comedians and idols. With the introduction of SHINee, there would only be a few seats remaining.

The members filed onto the stage one by one, taking bows to the audience as they headed to their seats. Jonghyun noted idly that Key's hair looked good blonde and the style was very flattering on him. Minho and Taemin appeared to be sporting a more natural hair colour for this comeback and both looked very dapper because of it. However, he only mused on this for a few seconds as, after the others, came Onew.

The singer looked good. He had dyed his hair since Jonghyun had seen him last and it was now a warm brown that really highlighted his soft brown eyes. His clothing was incredibly flattering on him, the stylists had done a good job. His shirt emphasised the leanness of his chest as well as the slight muscle he had built up in his arms. His pants, skinny as always, highlighted even more. Jonghyun noticed all of this, taking in everything about the idol like a parched man drinks water. However, what he saw most and what made him the most emotional was the singer's eyes. Where usually they would be bright and glowing with life, they were muted and dull. His lips were smiling but the expression did not reach his entire face. Judging by the closeness between Onew and the other SHINee members and the protectiveness they were showing, they also knew their leader was not on top form.

To the casual observer, Jonghyun was sure the idol looked like his normal self. There was a chance a hardcore SHINee fan would realise there was something upsetting him but most people probably would not. In fact, the expression the singer had on his face was very similar to the one Jonghyun had been wearing for months now. He knew it, and Onew, well. He could predict what the other male was feeling. It was exactly what he himself was feeling. They had decided to break up their relationship mutually. Neither male had liked that it had to happen, but they both understood the reasoning behind it. That didn't mean they were unaffected, however. They were both hurting, he had predicted that, but this, this TV appearance, was the first tangible proof Jonghyun had that Onew was hurting as much as he was.

The show's host moved on quickly, introducing the other members of the panel. Jonghyun didn't pay any attention to who they were. He found himself distracted by every small flash of Onew on the screen. Even the way the other male was sat was wrong. Usually, the singer would be learning forwards in his seat as people spoke. As if, by leaning closer to them, he could somehow connect with them better and get more into the story. He also rarely sat completely isolated. He liked to be touching someone, whether it was a hand on someone's arm or leg or even just the contact of knee to knee. However, on this show, he was seated with his legs pulled in close and his hands folded still in his lap.

Key, clearly worried – though only to those who knew him well – was touching Onew's arm gently as he leant in to whisper something to the older male; Onew gave very little reaction to the move. It was hard to tell exactly what was happening with the idols throughout the segment, since the scene was actually focussed on the actress seated in front of SHINee. The woman was talking about something to do with her husband and his bad habits; Jonghyun wasn't all that sure of what her point was, honestly. However, people seemed to be laughing and even Onew made an effort to look like he was enjoying what she was saying.

But Jonghyun could tell he was faking it.

About fifteen minutes passed and the host interviewed three people in that time. Jonghyun hadn't taken in a single word any of them had said. He was too distracted. However, when the MC started to talk to Taemin, he was suddenly drawn out of his hazed stupor.

"So!" The host said enthusiastically, moving on from the story told by an actor in the first row. "Taemin. I believe you have an interesting story about drinking."

The rest of the room started chattering all at once. Many looked at the idol in shock, as it wasn't usually a topic broached by those in Taemin's profession. A few others expressed disbelief at him being old enough to drink.

Taemin chuckled and nodded happily, his hand resting gently on Onew's knee. "I do, indeed."

"Were you the one drinking?" The host asked, "Do we get to see SHINee acting a little less shiny?"

"Nope." Taemin said, popping the P in a way that was eerily reminiscent of the way Sodam did so. If Jonghyun had been a little more focused he would have been worried the singer was in secret contact with his sister. "This is a story of a friend. Actually," he said, shooting a look at Onew, "it's a story of Onew's friend."

"An idol friend?"

"No, no." Taemin said, shaking his head, "He's not an idol."

Jonghyun caught the sharp look Minho sent the younger boy as well as the tightening of Key's hand on Onew's arm. He was sure the maknae had not vetted his story with the other members before telling it and he was sure he would be getting a telling off from them all later. After all, Jonghyun knew he was the only non-idol friend Onew possessed and he was likely not a well-accepted topic within the SHINee dorms right now.

"Ok," the host said, gesturing towards the young singer, "Go ahead."

"So, Onew calls this friend, something good happened for him at work and Onew here wanted to congratulate him. The call gets through but the person on the other line isn't the friend." Taemin says, telling the story with gusto.

"It isn't?" The host prompts.

"No," Onew says, taking over the story. His voice is clear and strong however, there is less flair to his storytelling than there usually was. "It was his sister and she had been drinking."

"She was completely smashed," Taemin chuckled, drawing more shocked looks from the other panelists for his bluntness. Key and Minho merely look resigned to what is happening, although Key’s hand is still clutching Onew’s arm in solidarity. "So she teases Onew for a while about him being friends with her brother-"

"Why would she do that?" One of the other guests asked.

"According to her, he's too lame to even think about having an idol like Onew as a friend." Taemin said. Onew rolled his eyes as if that statement was ridiculous.

That wasn't exactly what his sister had said, although Jonghyun’s memories of that night were a little fuzzy around the edges due to the alcohol, but Taemin had summarised his sister's belief quite well, he supposed. Although he already knew how this story ended – which, whilst good at the time, was now a little bittersweet – and Jonghyun was interested to hear how Taemin would explain the situation in a humorous way. Especially considering the hurt look in Onew’s eyes; a look Jonghyun was studiously trying to ignore but failing miserably. His gaze kept drifting to the younger man’s side where his leader was seated. The composer just couldn’t help it and it hurt every single time. Like a sharp pain in his heart.

"So, she teases Onew about his being friends with her brother then Onew mentions that I'm nearby listening to their conversation."

"She then got very excited," Onew takes over once more, "asking for Taemin to be put on the line. Which I did and she put their phone on speaker."

The gathered celebrities are looking interested in this tag-team story now, with many looking like they’re wanting to ask questions. The host looks ecstatic – which seems to be his base expression – but Jonghyun is sure that part of it is due to his expecting the idol group to be boring guests, due to the strict control SM Entertainment has over the group’s words. This story is probably more than the man had expected from them.

"Then she proceeds to tell me that 'I'm the man she was meant to be obsessed over'." Taemin says, grinning. The young singer is clearly enjoying the looks of confusion on the other members of the panel's faces at those words.

"Meant to be?" One of the many guests asked, finally giving in to their urge.

"This is where it gets interesting." The dancer chuckled, "Apparently, she had been to every SHINee show in her area and bought every single SHINee CD but didn't actually like SHINee."

"She didn't like SHINee?" The host asked.

"Nope," Taemin says once more. "Not a single song. Apparently, she was used as a disguise. A disguise for her brother."

All the panelists still looked confused and the hosts tried to work out what he meant. "A disguise for her brother? So he was using her to attend SHINee's shows?"

"Exactly!" Taemin grinned, enjoying the looks of dawning understanding on the other guest's faces. Their understanding, Jonghyun noticed, was tinged with a small amount of shock. He understood, male SHINee fans were definitely unusual. That look was exactly why he had been so guarded about it in the first place. "Her brother was apparently a hardcore Shawol from just after out debut but, being a man, he wasn't confident going alone."

"I guess that makes sense, fan boys aren't too common after all." The host mused.

"Yep, so he used her and pretended she dragged him along with her."

"What I think is most interesting," mused one of the guests, an actor, Jonghyun thought, "is that Onew made friends with one of his fans."

There was a murmur of agreement around the studio as the other guests realised that that was true.

"We first met as a fan and an idol. He won a competition and a prize was to meet us all." Onew explained, "But then we met again a few years later, he works in the entertainment industry so we met through work, and we became friends from that. He's a really nice guy."

"So you knew he was a fan when you met him for the second time?" The host asked for clarification.

"I did indeed," Onew agreed.

"Well there you go Shawols. You have a chance to make friends with Onew." The host winked, drawing a chuckle out of the guests.

It's only after Taemin finished telling the whole story and Onew began to talk that Jonghyun sees the realisation of what he had just done flash across the maknae's face. It wasn't obvious but Jonghyun knew what he was looking for. The dancer had just realised what he had done. Not only had he just talked about a subject - in this case Jonghyun - that was clearly off limits, he had also told a story on air that he hadn't gotten permission to tell from the main subject. Jonghyun didn't mind, of course; his love of SHINee wasn't something he was afraid to admit any longer. However, permission was usually polite to acquire and Taemin had clearly not considered that fact before the show.

Jonghyun was sure that the kid would be reprimanded later by both Key and Minho for both points. Key was very obviously protective of Onew right now, he was sat closer than usual and was in constant contact with the other male and any slights against him, even unintentional, would likely be dealt with harshly. He was sure to get mad at Taemin for bringing up what were probably painful memories. Minho was less obviously protective. His feelings were less noticeable for the casual observer as his facial expression was naturally more guarded. But Jonghyun knew his feelings were at least equal with Key’s. This understanding of the mellow man were born from a long friendship with Youngho. Eunji’s boyfriend and the idol were very similar in many ways and his lack of willingness to talk or show emotion in many situations had led Jonghyun to become very good at judging his moods from his (minimal) body language.

Onew actually looked no worse than he had at the beginning of the broadcast, as if the story had had no effect on his mental state. However, the man was an idol and was trained to be in control of his emotions so Jonghyun knew that wasn't a true indication of his feelings. Onew had always been a consummate professional. When the two were dating, he would often get Jonghyun to practice song parts or MC lines with him in order to do the best job he could, even when he had been informed practice wasn’t necessary. He had even left once, half way through a date, in order to attend a last-minute TV show taping because Minho had fallen ill. Jonghyun hadn't minded, he had appreciated the man's work ethic as well as his love of his job. It was admirable and something Jonghyun worked to emulate in his own life and career. It was partially why they broke up.

“So, Taemin. You recently released a solo album. How was that?” The host asked, seemingly not noticing the awkwardness between the SHINee members.

Taemin shot a quick, nervous glance at Onew before grinning widely. Jonghyun noticed that the smile wasn’t as carefree as the smiles the dancer had shown at his dorm when they had last met. It seemed even the enthusiastic maknae was at least minimally aware of what was and wasn’t appropriate on broadcast.

“I have. In fact,” He said, perking up a little and pausing for drama, “one of the songs on the album was written by the man in my story.”

The MC laughed, looking surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah, I joked around with him a lot, that I wanted him to write me a song and then he actually did.” Taemin said, smiling bashfully. “Thank you, friend. I owe you one.” He chirped, throwing a thumbs up at the camera.

“You thank him by embarrassing him on national TV.” Key snipped. The rapper played it off as a joke, making the others in the room laugh, but there was an undercurrent of real annoyance there. He was clearly still irritated about Taemin’s lack of care.

The MC asked a few questions to Taemin about his album – such things as what his inspirations were, how hard he worked on the dances, how difficult it was to promote as a solo artist compared to as a group – which the singer happily answered. However the show soon moved on to other guests telling their own stories. This show was more focused on funny stories and not the guests’ promotional activities, after all.

Jonghyun was a little sad to see things move on. He had honestly forgotten about the song he had given to Onew for Taemin. He hadn’t seen a single performance of the song. He had heard the final version – it had been sent to his email a few weeks before, when it had been finalised – and Taemin and Kai had performed it admirably on the recording; they had really exceeded his expectations, in fact. It was very nice to know that he had been right and that the two men’s voices did blend together very well.

Unfortunately, Jonghyun had been so distracted recently, that it hadn’t occurred to him that, with the song finalised, there was a chance the singer would begin promotions soon after. He would have to look up a performance later and see what the idol had done with it.

Jonghyun zoned out once more, not particularly caring about what the other guests had to say. Even when Key and Minho told a story, something about Key's favourite necklace being broken by Minho and the resulting feud between the two, Jonghyun only payed half an ear to listening to what they had to say. However, despite his inattention, he couldn't bring himself to turn the show off because, every few minutes, there would be a panning shot or a close up of a guest and occasionally, if you looked closely, you could see Onew in the background or off to one side. Jonghyun, as much as he hated himself for it, just couldn't turn away.

If he had bothered to check the SHINee forums – something he had stopped doing completely after his and Onew’s discussion, unable to face it – Jonghyun would have seen many other people had noticed the singer’s mood as well and the discussion boards were alight with theories and well-wishes.

-

StuckOnew

05/12/13 01:25am

Onew looks upset recently

Hey all,

Has anyone else noticed that there’s something wrong with Onew recently? He seems upset about something and i really hope he’s ok. He works so hard, he doesn’t deserve to be sad about anything.

I was trying to think about what it could be and there are so many options, some more sad than others:

-maybe he fought with the members (though I doubt it)

-fought with the management (possible. SM are known to be scary to idols)

-is overworked (sleep more sweet baby)

-is getting sick (D:)

-or maybe, just maybe, those girlfriend stories were true.

Imagine if they were. Like, Onew has been so happy recently and going out in public and everything. Imagine if the dating thing was true. That would explain his moods. But then, the news broke the story.

Can you imagine if you were dating someone and then the news found out and told everyone before you were ready? Do you think SM made them break up? Or maybe he broke up with her to protect her (so romantic but so tragic). Or, she broke up with him.

I wouldn’t blame her if she did. If she’s famous too, there’s so much risk for them being caught. If she isn’t famous, she might not want her face and name splashed everywhere for the world to see. People are mean and I really don’t like how people attack anyone their idols are close to. It must make them feel so suffocated.

Poor baby.

But anyways, whatever is wrong with him, i hope he feels better soon. And I love that SHINee members are helping him out. Did you see how clingy and protective they were of him? It was so cute. I’m so glad they are so close. There are other groups and the members always seem like they only tolerate each other for the cameras but our babies all care about each other so much .i love it.

I hope Onew feels better soon and I hope all the issues he have disappear. He deserves nothing but happiness.

(on a separate note: OMG that story Taemin told on broadcast. The others looked livid. Think he wasn’t meant to talk about it? Haha.  Poo tae, always putting his foot in his mouth. Key looked liek he wanted to kill him xD)

MrsChoi
Poor Onew. I hope he gets happier soon. I miss his Onew condition.

Iluffyou
Onew Noooooooo. Be happpyyy

TaeminnieLives
No one should make our SHINee sad. Noone

PegasusMagic
Omg why r ppl making ppl sad. But at least is not minho minho shud always be haopy

 

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CHAPTER NOTES: I have proof-read and edited this chapter (and every other) 3 times minimum prior to posting. When I post, I do one final check. Even then, somehow, I manage to leave in a paragraph that completely contradicts something I said earlier. I don’t even know how that happens.

Ok guys and gals, today is the big day (freaking out). I will see you on the other side... Literally. Korea is norhern hemisphere and Australia is southern :P