Jonghyun was practically vibrating in place due to his nerves. The results of the SM Entertainment music competition were going to be posted today. As much as he had tried to convince himself over the last couple of months, that the results of this competition did not matter to him and he was proud to have just submitted his piece, he was so anxious at that moment.

All day he had been garnering odd looks from people – both those he knew and those he didn't. When he had headed downstairs at 7am, two hours earlier than necessary for his 10am shift at the coffee shop, his sister had looked at him like he was insane. He had tried to sleep through to 9am, as usual, but after waking at 6am he was unable to roll over and get back to sleep. He had tried, breathing deeply and even to tried counting sheep to relax himself and convince his body to shut down once more. He tried desperately to think of other things, boring things: work, his desperate need for new shoes, that boring crime show his mother so loved to watch. However, every train of thought drifted back to the ever approaching results announcement.

He had given up after forty five minutes of counting. The sheep had stopped jumping the fences half an hour before and were instead staring blankly at him, as if he was being ridiculous trying to sleep. Thus, Jonghyun had agreed with the sheep and had got out of bed, not even bothering to change out of his sleep wear. Quickly booting up his laptop he checked the SM Entertainment website, hoping that maybe they had shifted the announcement up a few hours without informing anyone. Maybe someone would have loaded the post early by accident, giving him a reprieve. Ok, it was a long shot, but there was always a chance. He was getting desperate at this point.

His mother had looked so very proud that he was awake and cooking breakfast when she had come downstairs at a little before 8am. Jonghyun hadn't had the heart to break it to her that this probably wouldn't be a regular occurrence. Although, to be fair, he had not mentioned the competition to her at all. So, to her and the rest of the family, it probably looked like there was no reason for this unusual behaviour other than a desire to better himself. Or something. Jonghyun wasn't a mother, he wasn't sure how they thought but it was probably something along those lines.

After bumming around the hose until approximately 9.30am, Jonghyun scrambled to get to work. Ok, so maybe it was closer to 9.45am, Jonghyun may have woken up super early and spent most of the morning being bored but he still somehow managed to almost be late for work. He was pretty sure his boss would have a heart attack if Jonghyun’s arrival wasn’t a dramatic run through the door less than ten seconds before his shift was due to start. The man seemed to live for those dramatic entrances. He was always present in the front of the coffee shop, waiting for the teen to arrive and often had an indulgent smile on his face as he watched the door.

Jonghyun was lucky his boss was an easy going person. The teen really owed the man a lot. He had hired him when he was nothing more than a high school student with no experience; he had even offered him flexible working hours so he could work around his schooling and had kept him on the staff ever since. He indulged him a lot, having taken a liking to the aspiring composer, he even allowed Jonghyun to take vacation days slightly more short notice than the official time scale. Jonghyun was pretty sure his boss knew about his secret obsession too - if the side eye the teen received every time SHINee’s faces appeared on the small TV that was constantly playing in the corner of the café was any indication. 

In fact, that thought was pretty much confirmed when Jonghyun raced into the café that morning. His boss was lounging over the counter, his arms stretched in front of him and his face smushed onto the cool surface.

“What’s up, boss man?” The teen grinned as he exited the break room, having dressed himself in the appropriate apron and hat combo and stored his bags for the day.

Receiving only a grumble in response, the teen chuckled and got to work, setting up the coffee machine and arranging all the cups and condiments how he liked them. Café arrangement was an ongoing battle between him and one of the other employees – he hadn’t worked out exactly who it was who kept changing his organisation system yet. He suspected it was Minhee, the two teens tended to have shifts immediately following each other and they both liked their work station arranged a certain way. Luckily, there was rarely a time where two employees were manning the machines at the same time, so arguments were minimised. Which was probably a good thing for Jonghyun. Minhee was one feisty girl and the teen was sure he was sure he would lose in a battle of words (and probably fists) if it ever came down to that.

Looking up from the counter top, the boss watched Jonghyun’s progress as he shifted the syrups around to his taste.

“What’s got you so keyed up today?” The man asked, as his employee moved slightly more sporadically than normal, at a time when he would normally still be moving pretty sluggishly. Having worked with the boy for years he was well aware that Jonghyun was not fully capable at work for at least half an hour after his arrival when doing a morning shift.

Looking up from where he was now shining the front of the coffee machine, having abandoned all the syrups, Jonghyun uttered an eloquent “Huh?”

“You’re all jittery. Something on your mind?” His boss said, standing up from the counter fully and turning slightly to face the boy. As he turned, the man noticed something on the small TV screen. It was just an advert for a fried chicken company, but the idol group advertising it jogged his memory. “That’s the group you like, ain’t it.” He said, gesturing at the TV absently.

It wasn’t really a question and Jonghyun didn’t really need to answer. The way his eyes were drawn to the screen as soon as the group was mentioned and the look of focus that came across his features gave everything away. “Yeah.” He answered, absently.

“Oh!” His boss exclaimed, “I heard about that competition thing they’re doing. For the song writing thing. Did you enter?”

“I...” Jonghyun looked at the man in shock. How did he hear about the competition? As far as Jonghyun knew it hadn’t been publicised on any media network that his boss was likely to watch.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I have kids, you know. My daughter’s into this idol stuff. I was looking on their website for information on that girl group she likes.” Jonghyun nodded his understanding.

His boss’ daughter was a cute girl of eight with a strong love for everything Girls Generation. This likely stemmed, in part, from the fact she shared her name with one of the members. Jonghyun had been regaled with many a tale of how cute and pretty and wonderful they were when the little girl came in to the cafe. Quite often, during the school holidays, his boss would set her up in the corner of the room with a laptop, some colouring books or her homework and would check on her periodically through the day – or, more often than not, send Jonghyun or another employee to check on her. The little girl, Sooyoung, loved Jonghyun to death. She thought he looked just like an idol, for some reason Jonghyun couldn’t fathom, and loved that she could talk to him about all things kpop and he understood. She was, in fact, one of the few people who knew how much Jonghyun loved kpop.

“Wait.” Jonghyun said, his brain catching up with what the man had actually said, “How do you know I entered?”

“You actually did enter?” His boss asked, smiling. “I’m glad. This could be your big break.”

Jonghyun just stood there, cleaning rag hanging limply in his hand and mouth open. “But...” He started, staring blankly at the man, “How did you know I write music?”

“Come on kid,” His boss said, patting his shoulder gently. “How long have you been working here? You mention music school often enough. I make it my job to know at least the basics about my employees.” Seeing Jonghyun was still in slight state of shock and was unlikely to say anything any time soon, he continued. “So, how do you think you did?”

“Good,” Jonghyun said faintly, still not quite over the fact that his boss apparently cared for him more than he had realised. He should probably get the man a gift or something; he really owed him a lot. This man had been nothing but supportive, even when he didn’t need to be – Jonghyun was just an employee after all. His boss wasn’t obligated to care. “I worked hard on my submission.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.” His boss beamed, clapping his employee on the shoulder. “Invite me to your first event as a famous man, will you?” He chuckled, “Now get back to work.”

-

Seven hours later and Jonghyun’s shift was over. True to his boss’ wishes, and his own work ethic, he had worked diligently through his entire shift. Honestly, he probably worked a little harder than he usually would, hoping that the focused work would make the time pass faster. It didn’t but it had certainly impressed his boss.

“Good luck!” His boss yelled, giving a thumbs up, as Jonghyun walked out of the small cafe.

The teen chuckled as a business man, here for his after work coffee and a diet-cheating slice of cake, jumped in shock as the man’s loud voice sounded behind him.

“Thanks, boss.”

Jonghyun’s casual stroll home lasted until he was about half a street down from the cafe, before he gave up travelling so slowly and broke into an excited run. He had to get home. Technically, he could check the results on his phone but, he wasn’t sure why, that didn’t feel like the right thing to do. He had to check them on a large screen. So, here he was, sprinting to his house, the wind whipping his hair and his bag – containing the remainders of his lunch – slipping from his shoulder and smacking against his legs.

Rushing through his house, only taking the time to slip off his shoes as he entered, Jonghyun barrelled up the stairs to his bedroom. His mother called to him as he ran past her and he gave an affirmative grunt in answer to her question – “Good day at work, dear?”

Dropping onto his bed dramatically, the teen dumped his bag on the floor and grabbed his laptop from his desk. As he waited for the machine to log him in, Jonghyun chewed on the side of his thumb anxiously. He had pretended for so long that he wasn’t bothered by the announcement but, now it was actually time, he wasn’t sure he was ready for this.

Taking in a deep breath and wiggling slightly on his bed to get comfortable, Jonghyun prepared himself for the big reveal. Logically, Jonghyun knew that, out of the thousands of people who entered the competition (many of which were probably professional composers) his chances were slim. However, that didn’t stop the wistful part of his mind, the same part that had made him antsy and nervous all day, from believing he had a shot. He thought his work was good, he hoped others would think the same.

Navigating to the SM Entertainment website, Jonghyun watched as the news reel scrolled past important events that were happening within the company before finally hitting the thing he wanted. Clicking the artistic image of sheet music, announcing that it contained the winner of the composition competition, he felt his nerves increase tenfold.

As he watched the page load he felt his heart start to beat a rapid tattoo behind his ribs. He was far too wound up about this. Taking a deep breath he calmed himself a little before he began reading. The initial statement was a general overview of what the competition was and he scanned this impatiently, not really caring what it said. There were more important things to worry about.

Scrolling down further, the blonde boy felt his hand shaking as he neared the line of interest. It was clear which line it was that held the information he was seeking, it was separated from the rest and bolded. Steeling himself, he squinted his eyes at the line, cracking them open a little at a time to slowly reveal the text.

We are pleased to announce that the winning entry is ‘Juliette’

Jonghyun gasped, not quite believing what he was reading. Breathing deeply to try to control himself he scanned the rest of the sentence.

Written and composed by Kim Jonghyun.

Ok, it was official. He was dreaming. He hadn’t slept enough last night and now he was paying for it. There was no way this was real. He couldn’t have won, could he? He was just a nineteen year old barista who dabbled in composing in his spare time. He wasn’t good enough for this. It didn’t make sense.

Quickly opening up his email, he almost choked when he saw a message from SM Entertainment inviting him to an interview in a week’s time in order to do some necessary edits to his song. Coughing harshly he tried desperately to get enough air in his lungs as he tried to process this. He couldn’t believe it.

Grabbing his laptop, he sprinted into his sister’s room, almost tripping over nothing as he ran. Rushing haphazrdly into her room, ignoring her protests as she turned to him annoyed, he grinned enthusiastically. Dumping his laptop on her bed, ready to be used as proof later, he tackled the girl dramatically babbling nonsense.

The girl grunted as she was hit with the full weight of her, although short, pretty heavy, brother. “Jonghyun! Get your fat off of me. I was doing something. What is wrong with you?!”

“I did it!” he practically yelled in her face. “I did the thing and I won the thing and SHINee and I did it Dam! I really did it!”

“Did what? Idiot. I have no idea what you’re saying.” Sodam said, sounding annoyed, as she worked to extricate herself from underneath her brother. However, her face showed no annoyance at all. In fact, if Jonghyun had taken the time to look, he would have seen a look of happiness mixed with confusion. The girl didn’t see her brother this happy very often so something exciting must have happened.

“So…” Jonghyun said, finally giving in to her and allowing himself to be moved to the bed. “You know I entered that composition competition thing?”

“Yes...” She said, not quite getting it. Then she stopped and really thought about it. “Wait!” She squealed, excited, “Are you telling me that you-?!” Seeing his nod she squealed, “Oh my god! That is so amazing.”

The two siblings danced around the girl’s bedroom for a while before they settled down on her bed to discuss what was going to happen next.

“So, you’re going to be my big famous brother now? Oh God, don’t do anything embarrassing. Don’t be yourself.” Sodam fretted. She was incredibly proud of her brother, there was no denying that and she loved him to death but he could be incredibly embarrassing sometimes. In fact, many of her friends had initially had crushes on him, because according to them he was damn fine, but soon snapped out of it when they were around him for a little while. His personality was not what most people expected. They all expected the big, strong, protective man who was into sports and would spoil his girlfriend. And, ok, that last one was possibly true, if Jonghyun was into women. But the rest was about as far from the truth as you could get. Jjong was the most emotional person she knew and his favourite things were not exactly the epitome of manliness.

“I’m not going to be famous,” Jonghyun said, leaning back against his sister’s headboard. He stuck his tongue out at her as she glared at him for knocking the teddy bear that was by her pillow onto the floor as he got comfortable. “It’s just one song.”

“I know.” She said, giving up on glaring at the boy, it clearly wasn’t working. Settling herself down comfortably, cross-legged at the end of her bed, she faced her brother, her expression becoming more serious. “So, what does it mean?”

Jonghyun looked at her and took a deep breath, preparing to explain this to the girl, “Ok, so first, I have a meeting to discuss the edits that need to be done to my song to make it sellable or whatever. I think it’s almost unnecessary for me to be there, I probably won’t get much say in how it is changed. But whatever, I’ll do what they say.”

“So, they’re changing it? I thought it was your song?” Sodam asked, confused.

“Well yeah,” Jonghyun agreed, ruffling his hair with one hand as spoke, “but my song was written in my bedroom, it’s not really polished enough for SHINee.”

“So they want to make it more SHINee?” Sodam asked, before snickering to herself. “Polished, SHINee, get it?”

Rolling his eyes, Jonghyun kicked his foot at the girl, not really looking and blindly hoping he would hit. Judging from the surprised yelp from the end of the bed as his foot impacted something solid, he did. “Yes. Basically.”

“I thought you wrote it with SHINee in mind, though.” Sodam asked, confused. She had no idea how the music industry worked, it wasn’t really her thing, but she did know that her brother had spent many hours on all his songs. He always tried to make sure his compositions were perfectly suited for the idol group.

“I think it’s the backing track and stuff, mostly.” Jonghyun mused. “I don’t know the email didn’t really say.”

“So after that, what happens?” His sister asked.

“Dunno, it gets released I guess. I know I have to be interviewed for a TV show about SHINee at some point.”

At that statement, Sodam lost it. Falling forwards on the bed, dramatically, she snorted with laughter. “You-“ She gasped, “On TV!”

“What’s so funny?” Jonghyun pouted, his lower lip sticking out dangerously far.

“Nothing, it’s just...” She trailed off, not sure how to say this without insulting him. “You are really awkward in person, imagine yourself on camera.”

“Oh god.” Jonghyun muttered. As if he hadn’t considered that possibility, which knowing him, he probably hadn’t. “I’m going to embarrass myself.” He covered his face with his hands, overdramatically, drawing another snort of laughter from his sister. Then he stopped his overdramatic motions and gasped, looking scared “Everyone will know.”

“I was just kidding, you’ll do great. As much as I hate to admit it, you’re hot. People’ll love you.”

“No, you don’t understand, people will know.” Jonghyun said, his voice taking on a slightly hysterical edge as he clutched at the duvet under his hands tightly, his knuckles turning white with the pressure.

“You’re right.” Soda, said, sensing the conversation had suddenly turned serious and moving across the bed to her brother, gently moving his hands and releasing them from their clenched form. “What’s up Jjong, you were so excited a second ago?”

Looking at his sister with wide eyes, Jonghyun said softly, so Sodam could barely hear his voice. “I’ve never told anyone I like SHINee before. I’ve never shown anyone my songs before. What if people hate me?”

Moving across the bed to sit beside her brother, Sodam hugged him tightly and his hair gently. Trying her best to convey all her feelings to her brother she began to speak. “Have some confidence, Jjong. Your music is incredible. So that isn’t something to freak out about.” Sensing him relax very slightly beneath her fingers, she continued to speak softly, “As for liking SHINee, you should be proud. You’ve been a fan for so long and now you’re getting such a special experience. It’s like a reward for your dedication.”

Pulling away from the girl’s hands, Jonghyun looked up at her face, seeing nothing there but her belief in what she was saying. “But what if people hate me?”

“Who gives a crap?” Sodam said, deadpan. “You are a fantastic person and if people hate on you, they’re just jealous they don’t have your talent or looks.” Seeing his look of disbelief, she continued, “The people who will judge you aren’t worth your time, Jjong. They are petty and small and get off on insulting others. Have some confidence in your identity as a fan. I don’t get it. The whole idol thing confuses me. But I absolutely understand that you are passionate about this group and anything that makes you as happy as those boys do, can’t be a bad thing. So go out there and own it, like the bad- I know you can be.”

“Bad-?” Jonghyun chuckled, not giving any signs of wanting to move out of his sister’s hug, but clearly a little calmer than he had been. “Do you know me at all?”

“Oh come on, those muscles can’t all be for show.” Sodam joked, poking at her brother’s left bicep which was on full display due to the tank top he was wearing.

Sticking his tongue out at his younger sibling, Jonghyun pulled out of her arms and stood up, flexing exaggeratedly. “I’ll have you know, these babies are 100% real and will 100% allow me to kick your .”

Sodam let out a high pitched squeal as her brother launched himself at her once more, arms outstretched. Knowing he was going in to pin her and tickle her – a thing that happened more often than she would like – she fled quickly, standing on the opposite side of the room to him and eyeing him warily. The two circled each other, occasionally making a fake lunge at one another and eliciting screams from the other party as they did so. Their impromptu war only lasted five minutes and sadly, neither side won. A third nation, in the form of their mother, had interfered and told them to keep it down whilst she was trying to watch her dramas.

As Jonghyun moved back to his bedroom to do whatever it was he usually did in there, Sodam smiled in triumph. She hoped she had calmed the boy down enough that he wouldn’t completely freak out when it came to his interviews and the reveal he was a SHINee fan. Maybe this experience would be good for him and he would gain some confidence, which would be a fantastic result.

 

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CHAPTER NOTES: Sodam and Jonghyun’s interactions are some of my favourite things to write.