I'm sorry, Chanyeol

 

Those last words hit him like bricks. It was like an utter déjà vu for him. He never expected that it will happen again, the same rejection Baekhyun did to him. They say first cut is always the deepest but for Chanyeol, it was the other way around. The second time hurt like a .

 

Without even finishing asking him to marry him, Baekhyun already said no and rejected him. It is the worst pain that he has ever felt. He feels like dying at this moment and he feels like jumping from the railing of the tower.

 

Why?

 

It's already over.

 

Before he could throw the ring again, he decides to leave the tower crestfallenly, head lowered as he pace from the tower back to the park, not even caring for the people around he's bumping with. He keeps his eyes down, walking on the sidewalk, oblivious to everything around him. All he can feel is the heavy forming tears in his eyes. He keeps walking without knowing where to go.

 

 

-

Baekhyun hails a cab as soon as he left the tower, his eyes are watery and red. He clumsily takes his phone out and texts his best friend, Kyungsoo about what happened. After exchanging a few texts, Kyungsoo decides to call him.

 

"Where is he?"

 

He turns his head to the window. "I- I left him there in the t-tower. I d-don't know..."

 

"Baek, please, take a deep breath. You need to calm down, okay?"

 

Baekhyun does what Kyungsoo exactly told him. He pauses and lets himself calm. Kyungsoo patiently waits for him before speaking again.

 

"Let's just talk when you come back, okay?"

 

Baekhyun nods although Kyungsoo cannot see him.

 

"You will tell me eveything. Where are you now?"

 

"I'm on my way now."

 

 

 

Kyungsoo quickly gets up on his feet once he heard the doorbell ringing. He opened the door and a fresh from crying Baekhyun appeared in the door.

 

"Oh my God, Baek."

 

Baekhyun lifelessly steps inside the house and Kyungsoo immediately embraces him. They go to the living room and sit on the couch. Baekhyun's sobs and sniffles can't stop, Kyungsoo quickly hands him his handkerchief.

 

"It's over now."

 

"Aish, you're stupid, Baekhyun. I told you before that you shouldn't fall in love again, now you're paying for failing that rule. B-but this time, you affected Chanyeol too, damn it."

 

"I know. I know. I'm the worst boyfriend ever... All you said were right." he wipes the remaining tears off with the piece of cloth. He doesn't know when he can stop crying.

 

Kyungsoo holds his shoulder. "Why did you even reject him? You could've say yes, you know. B-but for the hard part, you will die anyway. Married or not."

 

Baekhyun whimpers.

 

"So, what are you gonna do now? You guys are over."

 

"I know. I- I thought we're just going to spend time there in the tower but I didn't expect that he will propose to me, like I was so shock and I didn't want to ing hurt him b-but we just can't marry! I'm dying!"

 

Kyungsoo holds his best friend tighter that's about to break down. "Shh. Baek, please, don't cry. We're gonna sort this out. I promise."

 

"How on earth will you do that? I know he's so mad at me now he will wish I was never born. God, I'm so terrible!" Baekhyun put his hands on his face, feeling dejected, ashamed and miserable.

 

Worried, Kyungsoo continues to rub his best freind's back. The handkerchief is already fully wet.

 

"Nothing's gonna be okay anymore. I r-rejected him for the second time now and he will never forgive me again. I did the same thing in the past a-and... Everything's ed up now."

 

Baekhyun continues crying helplessly. Kyungsoo doesn't mind his shirt getting damped from his tears. He let him cry against his chest while petting his head.

 

That became a long night.

 

 

 

Chanyeol finds himself in the bar late in the evening. He already finished three bottles of alcohol and he was still not satisfied. He wanted to drown himself in alcohol until he forgets anything that happened before and anything that's related to Baekhyun.

 

But then he quickly turns hypocrite once remembering the ring in his pocket. He slowly fishes it from his pocket and brings it up. He stares at it with half lidded and red eyes.

 

He let out a chuckle, still looking at the ring between his fingers. "Poor you... no one will accept you. You were a beautiful thing back there in the mall w-with your other friends in the jewelry store... but now you're just useless. Rubbish."

 

He clenches his fist tightly, attempting to break the ring even though it's far-fetched. Suddenly, he began crying and howling, not giving any damn to the other people around. His shirt was already soaked with sweat and tears and he looked so worn out, reflecting to what he's feeling at the moment.

 

"Why are you doing this to me, Baekhyun? Why do you like to see me get hurt? You sadistic . Y-you will never know how much pain I'm feeling now. Why don't you just kill me and end this ing game?"

 

He takes a gulp of beer again and slams it on the counter. Someone takes the seat beside him and the latter widen his eyes once recognizing Chanyeol.

 

"Oh my God, Park Chanyeol."

 

Chanyeol nonchalantly turns to the guy and formed a lazy grin. "Fancy s-seeing you here, Mr. Bang."

 

"What are you doing? Someone who knows you might catch you like this. They will you're already bankrupt, broke or something."

 

"Mr Bang, I don't give a to what people are gonna say, okay? J-just let me here and mind your own god knows business." He raises his glass again for another gulp but the other president holds his wrist and takes the glass from him. Chanyeol instantly glares

 

"Stop. No. That's enough." Yongguk takes the bottle too and pushes it aside before turning back to the other president who is now scowling at his best.

 

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Chanyeol mumbles out.

 

Yongguk sighs. "I don't care if your damn reputation falls down because you're a goddamn rival to me. But if we set aside the profession and look at you as a normal person, I can't have the heart just to leave you like this when I know you in the first pla-"

 

"The last thing I need is your damn concern," Chanyeol husks, keeping his eyes on the near-empty bottle. "Our business is over and so is our connection so off."

 

Mr. Bang studies Chanyeol for a while, thinking of possible reasons why he looks and acting like this. And then one person clicks in his mind. "It's about Baekhyun, isn't it?"

 

Chanyeol doesn't reply and remains his eyes remained focus on the glass and brand plastered on the bottle. Yongguk on the other hands starts forming thoughts in his head to understand the other's condition.

 

"I guess he did something wrong that made you cry," he speaks. "As his former boss, I kind of know him like an open book. Baekhyun does a lot of choices that he's not thinking carefully that ends up a mistake and hurting himself. He cries when he made one and I think he's crying just as how you cry right now. But in the bright side, he chooses the other's sake before his."

 

Chanyeol snorts. "You've been blinded by that snake the whole time. Baekhyun is a sly snake, he will play with you first, hypnotize you before he wraps himself around you and bite you with his poison. That merciless ."

 

"Then I should've already died from the first day I met him," Yongguk retorts sarcastically. "Baekhyun will get hurt if he ever heard you that, comparing him to a snake, come on."

 

Chanyeol lazily switches his eyes to him and sets a glare. "That ing hurt me more than I could ever imagine. The pain he brought to me hurt more than having your company bankrupt, worst than my parents died and worst than getting hit by a track!"

 

Yongguk doesn't reply, he furrows his brows to think. He tries to think other things Baekhyun could do to him that make Chanyeol curse him to hell. For all he knows, Baekhyun will never decide something that far unless...

 

His eyes fall on the ring lying on the counter near Chanyeol's hand. Then another thought clicks in his mind in the speed of a heartbeat. His eyes fly open while his throat goes dry.

 

"Oh God, you proposed to him.” Yongguk's reaction was same as Baekhyun's when Chanyeol almost asked for his hand. Chanyeol looks at him dumbfoundedly.

 

"Why do you care?" Chanyeol spits. "He already rejected me, not to mention, for the second time and it I'm telling you. God, this is so embarrassing." He chuckles to himself, rubbing his hand over his face. "Why the hell am I even telling my rival my biggest misfortune? What the ?" He reaches for the bottle and drinks on it disgracefully.

 

"God, of course he will reject you...” Yongguk mutters breathlessly, staring at nothing.

 

"What the did you say?!" Chanyeol spat, spilling some alcohol from his mouth.

 

"Don't mind it." Yongguk quickly defenses. "I said, I never thought Baekhyun will reject your proposal, y-you know, he looks so in love with you. I'm just wondering why he had rejected you."

 

Chanyeol's frown disappears. He shut his eyes close before inhaling deeply. He opens them again and they easily darted on the ring in his hand.

 

Yongguk's brows meet while watching Chanyeol looks so pathetically devastated. Poor guy, if he only knows the truth.

 

"You know, I think he has reasons why he rejected you. He just can't reject you without a reason. You gotta ask him."

 

Chanyeol chuckles bitterly. "Do you want to know the reason? He's just playing with my heart and guess what? He won again."

 

"Then what are you going to do? Just let him go? Just let him win and leave you just like that?" Yongguk rants. "You have to fight for yourself. Don't just give up. You should ask Baekhyun why he decided to do that. You need to have a say on this too."

 

Chanyeol stops staring at the ring and slowly turns his head to the other male speaking. A smile appears on Yongguk's face. "I believe Baekhyun loves you genuinely because that's what he told me when he didn't return my love. He suffers at here too. I might be confusing you but please, don't hate Baekhyun. He already had a lot of in his life. You're the only one he has right now. So, if I were you, I will not let him lose."

 

Chanyeol's scowl fades, his forehead's wrinkles disappear and he's able to create a smilee again, even though there's still a sting in his heart. Yongguk is damn right, he can't just give up especially now that he's determined to win Baekhyun. It's not too late. "Thanks."

 

Yongguk returns the smile and gently pats his back. "No problem. It's nice to help you out. Don't worry, I'll set you up with him."

 

 

 

Baekhyun cannot sleep tonight even how long he close his eyes. He feels so bad angry and frustrated on what he did. He hurt Chanyeol again like he did seven years ago. The way he rejected Chanyeol is still fresh in his memory.  The guilt is slowly killing him that it doesn't allow him to sleep.

 

Some bruises are appearing on different parts of his body again but they are far from Baekhyun's concern. All he wants to do is stab and kill himself to stop all the sufferings he has.

 

 

 

Right now, he's alone in the apartment when Kyungsoo left to buy some groceries in the market. He stays in his bed, of course. The whole room is calm and silent and only the sobs and sniffles from the brunet can be heard. He probably looks right now but he doesn't bother to care.

 

Kyungsoo finally arrives back. Baekhyun hears the door to their apartment being opened and Kyungsoo's voice booms in the whole house.

 

"Baek, I'm here... and we have a guest so come out now." Baekhyun frowns.

 

"He's looking for you." Kyungsoo adds.

 

Kyungsoo turns to the guy to ask his name. "What's your name again?"

 

"Um. Yongguk. Bang Yongguk." The man politely answers.

 

Kyungsoo is about to yell the man's name to his best friend when realization hit him and he snaps his head back at the other with wide eyes. "Good God, you're Baekhyun's ex-boss?!"

 

Yongguk nods and smiles. "Oh yes, I forgot to mention in the way. I'm sorry."

 

Kyungsoo slaps his own forehead"Oh my God, I should have bought better ingredients then-"

 

Kyungsoo stops when Baekhyun showed up from his room. He was still in his pajamas and Kyungsoo silently shot him a glare for not changing.

 

"Oh, Good morning, Baekhyun." Yongguk greeted happily.

 

Baekhyun forces out a smile. "Good morning, too. You should have told me you're coming here...”

 

Kyungsoo goes to the kitchen to give the two their privacy. Dropping his shoulders, Baekhyun leads Yongguk to the living room before they start the conversation. The president can clearly see the evident sad aura surrounding the brunet.

 

"How are you, Baek?'

 

"Not fine, honestly." He presses his lips together and looks down on his lap. "I just broke up with Chanyeol yesterday, again."

 

"I'm sorry," Yongguk says and he doesn't fail to notice those bruises that are forming on Baekhyun's body. His brows lift up.

 

"What's with those bruises? Are they symptoms of your disease?"

 

Baekhyun looks down at the said bruises and nods.

 

"Chanyeol doesn't know, that's the reason why you broke up with Chanyeol, right?"

 

Baekhyun quickly turns his head to the other. "How did you know?"

 

Yongguk chuckles. "I spotted Chanyeol in the bar last two days, he was sober and devastated. He wouldn't stop drinking if I didn't see and stop him. Poor guy." Baekhyun's expression gets even worse once hearing the information.

 

"He said you rejected him twice and he hates you so much for that."

 

Baekhyun furrows his brows. "Of course, he will. I'm  a terrible person and he has any right to curse me to hell."

 

"But on the other hand, Chanyeol still loves you... and I know you feel the same too." Yongguk smiled.  "I'm sorry if I'm sticking my nose to your business but I convinced him to talk to you again."

 

"What?" Baekhyun felt nervous.

 

"He wants to know why you rejected him and Baek, you need to explain and tell him the truth," Yongguk explained, holding his hand in assurance.

 

Baekhyun continued to stare at him with wide eyes before shaking his head.  "N-no. No. I can't. I- I don't want him to know about my condition. He better hate me than tell him that I'm sick."

 

Yongguk sighed. "When will you let him know? When you're dead and placed in the funeral? I thought you said you wouldn't do that mistake in the past again. If you won't tell him, you're gonna leave him again without any explanations and make him stupid again."

 

"B-but... I will hurt him more if I tell him the truth." Baekhyun argued.

 

"Yes, he will get hurt but he has the right to know." Yongguk explained. "Think, if you tell him, he will not get mad at you anymore. He will understand you just like he did before."

 

Baekhyun bit his lip, thinking of his former boss's advice. He is afraid to see and face Chanyeol because of shame but, Yongguk is right. Chanyeol needs to know why his proposal has been rejected, and one way or another he will find out about Baekhyun's sickness.

 

Without anything to reply, Baekhyun just nodded at the other. This made Yongguk smile widely.

 

"Good, Baekhyun."

 

 

-

Place: Jiho Central Park

Time: 8:00 PM

 

It's already seven thirty pm and Chanyeol was still thinking twice if he should come or not. He's sitting on his chair while looking at his phone. Yongguk already texted him the exact place and time but Chanyeol felt uneasy.

 

A minute has passed again, Chanyeol curses and stands up from his chair. this.

 

Lay suddenly arrives in the office before Chanyeol leaves.

 

"Where are you going, sir?"

 

"It's none of your business. Just stay in the office while I'm gone, okay? I'll text you."

 

Chanyeol didn't wait for any response and quickly his office. He still has thirty minutes left to go at the meeting place.

 

Just wait, Baekhyun. I'm coming there.

 

 

While Chanyeol was still on his way to the park, Baekhyun was already there prior to the time Yongguk told him. He was sitting on one of the benches alone while watching the other children play around with the falling snow from the sky.

 

He would be lying if he says he's not nervous, he's so scared for his life. This is the time Chanyeol will get to know about his disease. He's still thinking of the words to say and explain to Chanyeol. He was thinking how Chanyeol would react.

 

Baekhyun clawed on his lap and bit his lip. "Oh my god, what am I doing? I don't have to tell Chanyeol personally."

 

"That'll be inappropriate."

 

Baekhyun gasped once hearing that voice. He looked at the right and saw Chanyeol already making his way to the bench. Baekhyun's eyes widened as he felt his heartbeat increasing fast.

 

As Chanyeol finally reached him, Baekhyun slowly stood up from where he sat. They stood there and stared at each other for a good minute before Baekhyun cleared his throat.

 

"Uh- um... Y-Yongguk sent me here."

 

"I know." Chanyeol says, frowning. "Let's just get straight to the point. Tell why you rejected me."

 

Baekhyun's hands slightly tremble after the demand, his lips draw a small line. "I want to apologize first, Chanyeol. I swear, I never meant to hurt your feelings I never thought you will propose that soon, again."

 

"Is that why you rejected me? You're scared and shocked? Baek, you should've ing tell me instead leave me hanging there and freezing."

 

"I- It's not like that. I'm not surprised or anything," Baekhyun retorts, balling his fists.

 

"T-then what?!" Chanyeol drops his arms in exasperation. "You're not ready? I will understand if you're not and I'm sorry for being impatient. I just wanted to marry you so bad and I thought you ing felt the same too—"

 

"I did," Baekhyun quickly cuts. "I really wanted to marry you too. I wish I could say yes to you, but I can't... I'm not lying...” Suddenly, he was crying again. "I- I want to get married too, I really do... but unfortunately I have to reject you for our sake."

 

Chanyeol frowns, he feels like crying too but he has to hold it back. "What are you talking about? You're confusing the out of me...”

 

Baekhyun takes a deep breath before continuing. "I- I'm so sorry for keeping this a secret from you... I'm just worried what will you feel after knowing this. I don't mean to hurt your feelings... you know I love you so much-"

 

"Just tell me, goddamn it." Chanyeol cursed impatiently, his voice starting to shake.

 

Baekhyun bites his lip, looking up at the taller with red and watery eyes. This is it. He's sure Chanyeol will hate him forever. "I'm sick."

 

"I have VW disease. It's a blood cancer... worst that hemophilia. I'm sure I got this from my father," he uttered and heaved his shoulders, forcing a smile out.  "I- I have this since my family died... M-my life span is already short- and limited and—"

 

"What?!" Chanyeol cries.

 

"I-I'm dying, Chanyeol."  Baekhyun finally speaks out. He squeeze his eyes close and buries his face in his hands.