Interlude: Breakup Letter to ARMY

(of course, the letter is in Korean)

Dear ARMY,

I’m sorry.

For the past 3 years, you have shared my blood, sweat and tears, my pain and my joys, my every moment, waking and sleeping; you have always been in my heart. I know we 7 boys are like boyfriends to you, but you have been like girlfriends to us too. You send us gifts on our birthdays, celebrate Valentine and White Day together with us; we have our anniversary together every year, and we’ve exchanged countless selcas…. Really, it’s like a real couple, right?

But tonight, after almost 3 years, I must say goodbye.

I’m really sorry ARMY, you cannot be my girlfriend anymore. You will be my sisters, my confidantes and my dear friends; but my heart – that piece of me that can give a woman love like a man – it has been stolen by someone else. No, I shouldn’t say stolen, it makes it sound bad. It has been freely given away. I have found the woman that I want to marry.

So I will ask a very selfish thing. Won’t you be happy for me?

My noona, she has suffered a lot since this news came out. Yes, she is my noona. Yes, by quite a few years. But you know, I was always the one to pursue her. Nearly 90% of what you have read in the press is not true. Noona and I have known each other intimately for over a year, and I was the one who chased her relentlessly. You think a woman like her wanted to date a little boy like me?? At first, she only saw me as a little brother. I thought I would die when I thought that’s all she thought of me. It was a one-sided love for a long time. You know how that feels, right?

But eventually, something changed and I won her over. I don’t know how. I don’t know what I did, but I am so thankful. But still, when I first confessed to her, she refused me;  because of all the things you are shouting at her right now. She said it would never work and the was too much, and she didn’t want another broken heart, and I said “No, no, give me a chance.” and she did. And I proved her wrong.

Then, last December, I asked her to move here, for me, and again she said no, this is crazy, and again I begged her to give me a chance. Finally, she caved in to my demands. She has ultimately given up everything for me. So HOW DARE YOU throw curse words and dead things at her?!!?!? Your Oppa will be very angry if he catches you doing this! This was not her choice. It was mine. It was always mine.

But you are my ARMY and I love you dearly and I understand you are very upset. I’m sorry for having broken your heart. But finally, for the first time in my life, mine feels whole. I hope you will find it in yourself to forgive me in time. I love you all as much as you love me; just in a different way.

One last thing,

I know that a lot of people won’t understand even though I write this. And I know that my company will be angry and probably have the post taken down, but I would just like to ask you to please leave her alone. She had to quit her job because of this. Her workplace has been vandalized and she has been sent horrible things as well as death threats. Please do not do this. Can our ARMY really be this cruel?? I thought you guys loved me? Are you really capable of love when you do such horrible things?? Your hate is not going to make me love her less. And my love for her isn’t going to make me love YOU any less.

Everyone else in the world gets a chance at happiness. Even though you call us “oppa”, you get to date, fall in love, get your hearts broken, and do it all over again. But not us. Not idols. Isn’t it unfair? For 3 years I have been yours. Won’t you let me have my chance at happiness?

I know. It is a selfish demand.

But I am Kim Taehyung.

This is who I am.