Chapter 22 – Fighting!

Seeing a boyfriend again after having been separated for a long time is always awkward. At first, you are so excited. You’ve built up this moment in your head for so long that it inevitably fails to meet your expectations. When you see him again, there is this rush of blood that goes straight to your head, and your heart, and you just wanna run to him, but at the same time, you can’t move. He is right there, he is the same as you’ve always known, yet different. You’re afraid to touch him. Shy, like a 15y.o. girl in love for the first time who doesn’t know how she should behave. But then he takes your hand in his, or he cups your cheek with his hand, and you feel it coming back to you. And soon, the familiarity comes back, and in no time at all, it’s as if he’d never left.

Those few days went by in a blur. The first day, we spent pretty much joined at the hip. He said they’d be holed-up in their practice room for the next 24-hours, putting the finishing touches to their performances, but he wanted me to be there, for moral support.

As a fan, I was really curious to walk into the space that I’d only seen on camera occasionally, in YouTube videos. Their offices were a lot smaller than I thought. The BigHit building was tiny, and they shared it with a few other companies as well. The main office, and the place where most of their staff worked was on the second floor, and their practice room, along with a recording studio and other rooms that were reserved for the company’s few other acts were on the 4^th floor. Their room was quite wide; the floor made of shiny wood paneling and floor-to ceiling mirrors lining up the whole back wall. There were a few doors at the back too. One of which led into a giant walk-in closet with all the clothes they shared. Another led into a mini studio, and there was yet another that was used as a storage unit for equipment and unused fan-presents. There was a big pile of chairs folded against the right-side wall, which staff would use if they needed to be there long enough or have a meeting, and there was also an area with a large desk, several computers, a few bookcases, and shoe racks.

When Tae and I walked in hand-in-hand that morning, a hush fell over the room that had been already buzzing with activity. Jimin and J-Hope, who were sitting on the bare floor, stretching, gave me a little wave, and Rapmon and Suga looked up from their conversation with a manager when they heard the sudden quiet, wondering what was up. I hid my face in my scarf, embarrassed, but Taehyung just pulled me along over to the leader, and soon, conversations seemed to resume normally. I looked around, trying to search for that one manager who’d given us such a hard time back in Osaka but I couldn’t find him. That, at least, was a small comfort.

Tae unfolded a chair at the back of the room and bid me sit down on it, explaining that he had to go to work now. I chuckled, nodding, and spent the rest of the morning watching him. When Jin and Jungkook arrived, they had a short meeting, and then started discussing what I assumed was the logistics of the concert. After some time, they started rehearsing their dances, again, and again, and again… I never thought I’d say this but I eventually grew bored of watching them. I kept trying to focus, since Taehyung would occasionally glance at me and smile, and I’d smile back, sending him a little wave, but I’d soon find myself spacing out without meaning to. Now I understood why you always saw their staff on their phones in the back of all those Bangtan Bombs.

At one point, the girl I’d dubbed Silent-Noona during their previous visit to Japan came over to offer me a cup of coffee and I thankfully took it as she gave me a sheepish little smile before walking off. A few hours later, she came over again handing me a menu from a chicken restaurant. It was all in Korean but had lots of pictures so it was straightforward enough to understand, “You want me to choose?” I asked her and she nodded. Then she pointed at the boys, and with a series of gestures, and slow Korean sentences interspersed with English words, I managed to understand that she wanted everyone’s order before going to the restaurant to pick it up. “Oh. Do you need help?” I asked her suddenly.

“Help-euh?” she repeated and I nodded. I think it came as much from a desire to be useful, as from the need to do something else because I was going out of my mind with boredom, but it had suddenly seemed like a good idea to me. She paused for a bit, thinking, and then nodded, motioning for me to follow her. Tae raised an eyebrow at us as I grabbed my jacket to leave, but I smiled, saying I’d be right back, and he just nodded, returning to his practice.

We walked the short distance between HQ and the restaurant in silence, trying to hide our faces from the bitter cold inside of our jackets. Korea was really freakin cold in November. Probably as cold as my hometown in Canada, and I’d rather forgotten about it, having lived in Japan for so long, so I was not too happy with the reminder. We walked inside the restaurant and she ordered at the counter while I looked around. We were given a little buzzer thingie and then sat at a table, waiting for our order to be ready. Eventually, the awkwardness became too much, so I attempted to make conversation. I asked what her name was (even though Tae had already told me a long time ago) and she answered “Eun-Jung” with a little shy smile.

“I’m Emma,” I told her, extending a hand towards her.

“Oh I know.” she said, laughing a little, “Everyone know.”

I raised both eyebrows in surprise and she shook her head, “Taehyung… always…” and she made a gesture with her hand indicating someone who talks too much.

I laughed, immediately catching her meaning. “Sorry about that…”

She shook her head again, like she wasn’t offended at all. “He happy.” she nodded. “I…” she paused, searching for words, “he… my dongsaeng… he so happy now. You.” she finished, pointing to me.

“He’s happy because of me?” I asked, and she nodded.

I stayed quiet for a while, trying to stifle my embarrassment, though obviously I was happy at the admission. “I thought maybe I wouldn’t be welcome here…” I said.

She tilted her head to the side, like she didn’t quite understand what I meant.

“Hmm… I thought… BigHit staff… angry at me…” I repeated, gesturing quite a bit.

“Ooooh… no, no, no.” she replied quickly. “Kunyan… secret, yes?” she brought a finger to her lips in a shushing motion, and I nodded “Of course.”

She seemed satisfied and went on. “We… no English, so…” and then she raised her hands up in a little helpless shrug so I nodded.

“I understand.”

The thing in her hand finally buzzed and we got up to go fetch the several bags of chicken to deliver them back to our boys. I think it was good that I came because there were at least 15 bags to carry, so I’m not sure she would’ve ever managed on her own. Cries of joy greeted us as we walked back in and practice was suddenly halted as everyone settled on the floor to eat. Taehyung sauntered over my way and hugged me tightly, snuggling the back of my neck, though I playfully pushed him away, complaining that he was too sweaty. He left to go wash up and came back a few minutes later, decidedly dryer and sporting a new shirt, so I agreed to let him closer. He sat behind me, pulling me into him with his legs on either side of me, not unlike that time when we’d had a dinner party in Jimin and Hobi’s hotel room in Tokyo, and we all started attacking the food. Admittedly, it was a very inconvenient way to eat. I ended up having to hold the box of chicken on my lap, and feed Taehyung pieces of chicken behind me. It was troublesome, for sure, but he looked so delighted every time I brought something to his lips that I couldn’t help smiling back.

“Urgh! Could you two be even more disgusting?!” Namjoon exclaimed in English, as Tae was going “Aaaahhh” with his mouth wide open, trying to get me to put some food in his mouth. I went bright red in shame, but Taehyung only grabbed a piece of chicken bone and chucked it at his leader, missing, and the pink-haired boy just laughed in response.

“Yah! Korean Korean Korean!!” scolded the leader, and I had a feeling that Tae-Tae would be paying for it once I was gone.

All in all, the meal went on with playful banter, most of which I couldn’t understand, but it felt comfortable just being there with them, with Tae’s arms around me as he chatted away and occasionally translated for me. Soon, they were done and enough time had passed that Yoongi suggested they should probably get back to work. Some staff came to clear away the empty boxes and trash, and everyone got up and started stretching again.

Tae lingered by my side for a bit, turning to face me and put his hands on my shoulders.

“You go home. We practice more more more… it’s boring for you.” he said, bringing both hands up to cup my cheeks.

Part of me wanted to stay, but I knew he was right. They’d probably be at it til the wee hours of the morning, and there was no point in me staying there, so I just nodded and he replied by giving me a kiss on the forehead.

“I try come back not too late.”

“Don’t worry about it. You do what you gotta do.”

He patted my hair once again and nodded. Then, he gave me a little wink and walked off to join the rest of his brothers. I stood there, watching him go for a little bit, and then walked over to get my jacket and things.

Just as I was leaving, I heard a chorus of “Bye Emma!!” and turned around to see all seven of them waving at me, with various degrees of enthusiasm.

“Bye!” I waved back, feeling a little glow of warmth rise up in my chest at their friendliness, “Fighting!!”