Chapter 45 - Backlash

And he meant it. He really didn’t care. Or go back on his word. But boy, were we in for a sh*t load of trouble.

The first thing he did the next day was tell his boss, whom I believe threw a book at his head when he told him he was planning to marry me. Then he told him to get out. Then he told him to come back the next day and asked if he had seriously thought about the repercussions of his insane decision. Tae said he had.

For 5 days he kept asking him back into his office and asking the same question. Tae never wavered. I was kinda proud. Finally, on the last day, Bang PD gave up and told him to do whatever he wanted. “If it’s the end of Bangtan, it will be your fault.”

“Boss, you should know; Bangtan is stronger than that.” Tae replied stubbornly.

*

As for me, I went back to work as if nothing happened. It was hard to concentrate, but once Bang PD had given his approval, I felt a little bit heartened. I still hadn’t found a doctor though and was considering confiding in Eun-jung, so I could have Korean girl advice on this, but Tae shook his head at me. “Boss said it must be secret ‘til after comeback.” I nodded, understanding, but after the comeback I’d be 4 months pregnant. I needed to find a doctor before that.

*

I was browsing the internet one night when the door bleeped open behind me. I didn’t look up because there was only one person who knew the code, plus, I thought I had finally found an English-speaking OB-Gyn who could see me.

Since I wasn’t looking up to greet him, Tae dropped what he was holding onto my keyboard.

“Hey!!!” I whined, as it made the page shift.

I looked up at him and he was grinning. “Hi my future husband! I missed you sooooooo much!” he play-acted and I laughed, rolling my eyes.

I got up from the couch and threw my arms around him. “Welcome home, darling!” I cooed, popping one of my legs up ridiculously, “Did you have a hard day at work? Here, let me take your coat!” I started pulling on his jacket and he giggled, loving the attention, yet knowing it was a joke. He stopped me halfway through though, throwing his jacket on the couch and pulling me into his arms.

“I just want this,” he said sultrily, before kissing me gently but passionately, pulling back after a moment, to look at me, nose to nose, and then smile as he pulled back and sat on the couch, pulling me onto his lap. I giggled, ready for the snuggling session to continue, but was distracted by what he’d thrown on the computer and instead asked “What’s that?” picking up the thick stack of papers he had nearly destroyed my laptop with and flipping through it. It was all in Korean, so of course, I had no idea what it was.

“It’s a… I dunno the word… the story for a drama.” he answered.

“A script?!” I exclaimed in shock.

“A, yes.” nodded.

“For you??!?” My eyes widened.

“Yes.” He replied, on a flat tone. I couldn’t read his face at all.

“Baby, it’s amazing!”

“No.” he said, contradicting and surprising me.

“Why not? You’re a great actor! Is it a big role?” I asked, trying to keep the tension up, even though I was slightly destabilized by his lack of enthusiasm.

“Yes. For a history drama. Big, very big.” He replied, again, flatly, but I could detect a hint of both pride and fear behind his words.

“Taetae… wow….” I said, proudly.

He shook his head. “No Emma… timing is so bad… you know why he does this…”

It took me a moment to understand. “He… you mean Bang PD?”

Tae nodded. And then he took my hands as I frowned, looking down.

“This,” he nodded towards the script, “it’s like you said, big big wow amazing chance.” I couldn’t help smiling at his childish vocabulary. He went on. “But if I do it. There is no time to see you.” He looked at me very seriously and sadly as he said that. “I will be even more busy than now. Everything crazy.”

“Tae, you have to…” I said, turning his hands around in mine.

“I don’t want to!!” he said, childishly, looking at me more fiercely, “He do this so I can’t be with you! I won’t leave you alone!” he brought a hand to my cheek on that last part, very tenderly, making me smile.

“Sweetie, it’ll be ok. plus, I know why Bang PD is throwing you into this.” I went on, smiling, a little bitterly.

His eyes widened, questioningly.

“To throw the press off.” I said, and his eyes got even bigger.

“What, it’s not that surprising,” I said, leaning back into the couch, “you guys are getting more and more attention all over the world, and finally Korea is noticing as well. Once this album comes out, I predict you guys will become the next Big Bang.” he laughed here cuz he thought I was being ridiculous. “Don’t laugh!” I went on, “It’s true! Can’t you see how talented you are?? Soon you won’t be able to go anywhere without people following you around. How do you think it’s gonna look if someone leaks that you’re getting married to your cougar gf? Who’s not even Korean?”

“Cougar?” he asked questioningly.

I waved him off, not wanting to explain. “He’s not doing it to break us up, he’s doing this to throw you off their scent; the press.” I stated, crossing my arms. “So you HAVE to do it.”

He pouted, but seemed to get it. Still he sulked as he pulled me into his arms. I went willingly, snuggling my face into his chest. He smelled good today. We stayed like this for a moment; him thinking things over and me just relishing the feeling of being in his arms.

“I can survive a few months without you,” I said, looking up for the last part, “especially if we’re gonna be spending the rest of our lives together.”

That made him smile.

“Ok, noona. I’ll do it. For you.”

I grinned back at him and he leaned down to kiss me.

***

It was a good plan.

The problem was that it didn’t work.

Tae went to his audition the following day and passed with flying colors. Then a few days later it was revealed that he would be part of a star-studded cast for a drama that promised to be one of the best of the year, and from that moment on, people who had never shown any interest in BTS started being really interested in our Taehyungie.

Various articles popped up on Pann, Peach and all those online gossip communities, discussing everything from whether or not he’d had plastic surgery, to confessions of his high school girlfriends, to what a sweet, fanservicey idol he was, and how much he loved babies. But those were just either annoying or funny, and as they say, any publicity is good publicity… but that was until Instiz dropped a blind item about an up-and-coming idol “in the bloom of youth” (everyone immediately figured out it meant Bangtan) was getting married to his foreigner girlfriend, who was twice his age. (that was kinda pushing it… thank you ty reporter…)

After that everyone went crazy, trying to figure out who it was, and we were told to be extra careful. Not that it mattered anyways because, as predicted, Tae had zero time to see me. But it didn’t take long until someone DID figure it out and another magazine published shots of us walking around my neighbourhood on two different occasions, with him in a hoodie and mask, but my blonde hair shining like a beacon. Those pictures were bad quality, and taken from far away, so BigHit was still feigning innocence, but the killing blow came when someone unearthed pictures taken when I was still living in Japan, with his face clearly visible, his laughing eyes clearly recognizable, and me feeding him strawberries we’d just bought from a street vendor on the little shopping street in the area where I used to live.

That was the night we’d ran into my co-worker, I remembered it so well. He’d felt so safe and undercover that time… where had those pictures come from?!? And then there was a full article about how long our secret romance had been going on and how he was disappointing all of his fans. There was a picture of me in the corner; It was a work picture, unflattering and I looked old on it, but I guess that’s why they’d chosen it. And it said “EXXX CXXXXX, Canadian, 30 years old.” and there was a blurb about how I was an English teacher and used to work in Japan and that was where we had met (ha! Wrong there, reporter) and how I had just moved to Korea to be with him. The whole article was mostly made up and about how I had tricked him into marrying me, but it didn’t matter what the words said, because the pictures didn’t lie. There was a photo of us holding hands, with a zoom on the couple rings we now wore, and another of him fondly patting my head as we parted outside the station near BigHit.

Anyways, it was just sh*t. Everyone at the company was at a loss at what to do, and that’s when it started. Both at BigHit and at the Hagwon, the hate mail started pouring in.

On my end I was lucky because I couldn’t understand most of it, and my boss would usually just trash the letters before I could see them, but then death threats, rotten things and creepy presents like black roses with a dead cat in them came, as well as a couple of notes written in blood.

We tried to take it in stride. Mostly it was just me who had to deal with it since Tae was being shielded from it all, and still too busy to notice anything outside of work. I had to postpone my doctor’s appointment too, because what if someone caught on to the fact that I was pregnant? Then sh*t would really hit the fan. It was somehow the only thing that they HADN’T managed to figure out, and that was probably because the only person who knew was Bang PD…

But it didn’t matter anyways because finally, one morning, Mr. Baek opened up shop to find that “Die B*tch” (in English) had been spray painted in red onto the front door. That was when he told me I should probably take some time off. So I did, with a heavy heart. And I know it was only because of Tae that I wasn’t getting flat-out fired.

Somehow, no one seemed to have figured out where I lived, but there were still ravens everywhere. I didn’t go out, I ordered all my meals in, and when I did need something, I’d go with a hat, a hoodie, face mask on and colored contacts hiding my blue eyes. And it was just in-and-out, mostly to the convenience or grocery store, and in the middle of the night, cuz I was going stir-crazy.

But the saddest part was that I couldn’t see Tae, on his boss’s order. He didn’t have time anyways, but if it was up to him, he probably would’ve shown up after shooting at 4am, just for a kiss. But Bang PD was afraid that some paparazzi or crazy fans would follow him and they would find out where I lived; and I was learning to trust that man’s instinct, so we talked by mail and on the phone a lot. And we skyped. Like we used to when I was in Japan. The boys were oddly supportive too, and Eun-Jung, who visited me a couple of times with news of them. She helped me with my Korean homework (Taekyeon had left me some. .), and her English had oddly enough gotten better really fast. She said she’d started butting-in on Jin’s lessons because she wanted to talk to me more. I gave her a hug and cried, and then blamed it on hormones, thus accidentally telling her I was actually pregnant. dropped but she was not surprised. She said there must have been a big reason for Tae to want to marry, and that she suspected a bit. She also said she wasn’t the only one who thought so, so I should really be careful. But once she knew, I finally had a new ally, and somehow, that relieved a huge stress I didn’t even know I had been carrying.

*

So I didn’t see Taehyung for the rest of the month, but one night, before he had to fly to Japan, he risked it all.

He was dressed all in black, with a hoodie and a mask, like a freakin ninja, and he was panting so hard when he closed the door behind him, that I think he’d run all the way from his car to here. We kissed each other as if we were starving, as if we hadn’t see each other in months and were never gonna see each other again. I wailed that he was going to Japan without me and he said “You know why you can’t come, noona…” and I knew. We didn’t even sleep together that night. We just snuggled together on the couch, not saying a word, barely moving, but not falling asleep either. Eventually, when he had to leave, I complained like a child, and he said he would send me pics and see me soon. I sulked and he smirked. He kissed me again before leaving and I stayed behind the door, staring at the handle long after he was gone.

*

In the middle of the night, there was a fancafe notification on my phone (yeah I still got those…). But I was sleeping.