It felt like I had opened my eyes, yet there was a sense of unreality in the images that were in front of my eyes. The sky was a glistening blue with crystal clear black birds twirling and tumbling, making not a single whisper as they flew past my ears. The melon like sweet smell in the air filled my senses and helped my mind to rest properly for the first time in weeks. No I think the weeks have built up to months now.

Behind the exterior image of the flourishing green spring grass and crisp refreshing wind, there was a melody. A melody that I had heard somewhere before and right before my eyes there was a figure, it called out my name and the figure seemed to towards me and yet neither I nor him could move a single millimeter. Just like a still motion picture, or a mime that had lost its will to move anywhere. At that point something shot up my spine, my heart was beating five times quicker than its normal tempo. At that moment it felt like all of the memories that I had made with Ji flashed before my eyes leaving nothing but a black stage with no light.

My eyes opened for a second time. However, this time it was back to normal, the flight attendant had tapped me on my shoulder and asked if I would like something to drink. I asked for a cup of water, as I sipped the little cup of water the same melon smell wafted into my nose.

“Excuse me,” I asked the attendant, she replied with the normal “what is the matter sir?”

“Is there any melons for the breakfast meal? Or is it just me smelling melons?”

The attendant giggled a bit at my strange question and then pointed at the row right at the back and said that there was a young man having half sliced melon.

I left my chair, wondering down the first class aisle and stood besides the last row of chairs, the person that was sitting there didn’t seem like a man though, but a very boyish female. Her hair was short and her clothes looked like they were men’s, but there was a soft present around her.

“Miss, why do you have a melon in the plane?” I asked with one of my smiles, not worrying about who this person was.

“Miss, huh~? I guess you finally found out the truth.”  The young lady took off her glasses, revealing the familiar face that I been trying to forget.

“But, you... Huh?! ”

I was completely speechless, not a single full sentence seemed to escape my mouth.

“I guess it’s time you found out. I guess it was y fault for not telling anyone.”

“You guess? You think you could’ve just kept this a secret all your life? What were you thinking?” I whispered stressfully.

“It was my bad… but I guess I should also say.”

“Oh now what, as if that lie wasn’t big enough.”

“Shhh! People will hear idiot! Anyway, the girl you have to marry.” She paused for a while, “…is me!”

Everything rushed past my mind, the difficult times that I had to deal with just thinking about myself being homoual, becoming insecure. But all of this was for nothing… I was angry, didn’t know what to do. All I could think of was how I was lied to, maybe eve betrayed. I know it wasn’t his fault completely, but I just had to vent all of my anger out.

“You think everything will be okay, now that you have confessed?” I whispered in a menacing tone, my eyes glared down at him, conveying every last ounce of my anger.

His face changed color, it was paler now. The shine in his eyes, no her eyes had gone away. Just a blank lifeless image.

“DO YOU!?” I shouted this time.

“I said sorry haven’t I? Why are you angry?” she replying, her voice was shaking.

Why didn’t I realize before I thought to myself over and over again, I wanted to hug her. Smell her same old gentle homely smell that I had missed so much just once more. But with this I really couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“What am I supposed to be? Huh! You tell me. Because I sure as hell don’t know, the person I thought I had loved just happens to reveal that his actually a she? What am I really supposed to do?”

Her eyes were looking straight into mine, even though tears had built up. She sat still, with a serious face. Acting classes, I thought to myself.

“I’m still me, just now it’ll be easier now that I’m a girl you know? I m not saying it’ll be easy. But at least it’ll lift some weight off our shoulders. If that’s not enough… What do you want me to do? Get a change? Just accept it, we can get through this, just like all of the other things we have done in the past.”

 All other sounds was blanked out of my mind, all that she had said had kept repeating itself over and over again. I just stood there as I stared at Ji in disappointment.