In the sudden realization of what was going on. My heartbeat quickened and my whole body was filled with adrenaline. It was one of those feelings that you couldn’t really describe well, you haven’t felt it yourself.

Strange sensation of nervousness in the stomach, the fear of losing someone in my head and the strange yearning of someone in my heart would take over me all at once.

The words that were written on the letter kept on repeating itself in my head. Like a never ending loop.

Yet amongst this chaos, I had already left my motel room and was sitting in a taxi.

“Can you go a bit faster?” I asked the driver and he nodded in return.

After ten minutes in the taxi we were at the Seoul International Airport. A place where people cry to see their loved ones leave and laugh in joy as they greet them back after a long leave. But today for me this was going to be the most emotional thing in this world.

I rushed to the door and then towards the departures and there was no sign of Ji anywhere, my heart sank to my stomach.

“I guess he already left...” I muttered to myself.

“HYUNG!” shouted someone from behind.

I turned around hoping that it would be Ji but all I saw was a SeunGri with tears rolling down his face. He slowly walked towards me and with each step his face tightened. Finally when he was standing in front of me he took a deep breath and said “Ji’s in the hospital”

My heart was in pain, I didn’t know what to do but to fall to my knees.

“How?” I asked looking up to him.

“He got hit by a car in front the airport… there was a drunk cab driver. His been in the hospital surgery room for 20 minutes now… You need to get there quick!” He spoke in a serious tone which was rare for SeunGri.

“Which hospital?”

“The one where I went to when someone broke my arm…” he looked at me jokingly attempting to lighten up the mood.

“Thanks.” I weakly smiled at him.

Then ran past him as quick as possible, a taxi was hard to get since there were none willing to go to a nearby destination. I ran half of the way to the hospital, then got a taxi and finally got to the hospital.

I ran to reception and quickly blurted Ji’s name out. The young lady was surprised. Her face a flushed red… slowly but surely she looked at the computer and typed in Ji’s name.

“He… is in surgery room 4.” Her eyes batted at me, it made me sick just to look at her acting like this when someone is in a surgery room and suffering.

The whole of big bang was standing outside, Tae Yang was pacing backwards and forwards. SeunGri hadn’t arrived yet and DaeSung was sitting on one of the rows of chairs with his head in his hands.

“How long has he been in there?”

They all looked away, Tae Yang lifted 4 fingers. Indicating that he was already in there for forty minutes… Although I was worried before, knowing that he was already in there for a very long time. It made me scared. Also it made me think that, if I had not gone to the airport he wouldn’t have gotten hit by a car. But I know that this was too late. Using ifs and buts weren’t going to fix anything. All I could do was wait and hope that the surgeons would do everything they could.

Another thirty minutes passed. Big Bang’s manager had called us thrice. To stay informed of the situation that Ji was in. The press had gathered outside the hospital. At times like this. I wished that we weren’t so famous, so well known. Looking at the hungry faces of the press that sought for news was sickening. They had no respect of the ill at all. Some of them even swore at the nurses, ordering to let them in. I was certain that if this continues on, the police would be involved. After a further ten minutes of wait, the rectangular red light on top of the surgery room door was turned off. All of us tensed up. SeunGri had already arrived 20 minutes ago and out of all of us, he was the most nervous. His hands were shaking, and his eyes were about to burst into tears.

At that point everything seemed to go in slow motion. The pace of the surgeon was far too slow. I couldn’t stand it, without thinking of the consequences I grabbed the surgeon and asked in a desperate tone if Ji was ok.

“His fine, as long as he gets some rest it should be ok. But we need to keep him in the hospital until his fully healed. There were some severe cuts on his abdomen that had hit some vital organs. Hi’s very lucky to be alive.”

The surgeon laughed at my desperate face, tapped me on the shoulder, then walked passed me with a serious face. Everyone let a sigh a relief. But the doctor looked suspicious, his fake smile and his obvious little act that he did. But everyone looked so happy that, I didn’t want to destroy this joyous moment.

“I was so worried…” SeunGri stated.

The others nodded their heads and high fived each other, just like we did at the end of our first live concert.