SeunGyun and I walked around the endless street filled with people and stalls. The many different smells of the simple snacks of the night mixed in the air to make a pleasant and relaxing smell.

“Oppa why do you have to do this?” he asked me in a very girly voice.

“Do what?” I replied honestly not expecting much from him.

“You know, why do you hurt yourself just to keep JiYong oppa safe? Why don’t you just ask him to be with you if you like him so much?” he said with a spark of pain in his kind eyes.

“We all have our fates and this is not mine or his fate, come on why do you think I lock myself up every now and then huh? I hate having this feeling gay love ok! If it weren’t for you I would probably have turned into a playboy, you should know that.”

His eye seemed to trail off into the distance for a second and before I could say anything his lips were in contact with mine. I was sure that if anyone that I knew would be thinking that I got a girlfriend right now. Behind SeunGyun I saw a figure running towards me, with a bright smile on his face.  Nevertheless, I couldn’t push SeunGyun in time.

“Oh, TOP oppa. I didn’t mean to disturb you, its normal for you to have a girlfriend right? Since you’re straight and very popular and all.” His eyes shun in the lantern light of the nearby stalls.

Tears fell down his face as if there was an endless supply of water within him. Then with a useless attempt to wipe his face he ran away into the darkness. Fear came into play, painful memory of the incident with him and the gangsters came back. It was hard to hold back but I looked down at SeunGyun hoping for an answer.

“You need to go. Not just for me, but for him too. Both of you are in huge pain, and you need to solve this.” He said as if he had already experienced this and had been through all of the confusion and pain.

“Thank you, if it weren’t for you. I would never have gone, but still I am sorry about the fact that I can’t love you back.”

As I bowed my head to him, I saw tears building up in his eyes. Without thinking I hugged him for a while and left him in the midst of the crowd of people with continued on with their normal lives.

I ran as fast as I could through the narrow roads of Seoul, trying to find Ji before he got hurt or fell down or even tripped over a stone. My mind was clear, I knew what my role was. It was a now or never situation for me and Ji. I smiled in knowing that if this succeeded we wouldn’t have to hide or even keep this is a secret from the people that we knew and cared for. All of my pride seemed to have lowered its guard.

“Just for this night only will I lower my guard” I whispered to myself.

But as time went by as if it was an arrow traveling at a frightening speed, I couldn’t find him. He felt so far away, and yet this was the first time I had anyone run away from me in this kind of situation. Not surprising really, my mind kept on repeating itself to find a places where he could be. Then as if by fate, I knew where he was.

The loneliest place that me and Ji ever went to. I knew he was sitting inside the forbidden church. It was a place where love began and destroyed for no utter reason by god himself. In the south corner of the city center, the south corner of the little town that lay there and beside the three hundred year old oak tree, that brings hope to everyone who sits underneath it. Though it was an hour since I had started running my blood was pumping with energy and excitement. He was the only one who made me feel like I was eternally broken soul that only lived when he was near me. He was my very own lifeline.

I went back to my hostel grabbing extra clothes because it had started to rain, I also changed my wet clothes. It was embarrassing but I quickly took out my bleach cosplay outfit. It was this or that stupid pink set that manager had bought for me that was comfortable when riding a motorbike. It fitted me perfectly. It slipped it onto my wounded and scared skin like it was silk. I looked like I was going to kill someone because of the fully sharpened black sword on my back. I rushed downstairs and quickly got my green Kawasaki and rode into the darkness of the night.

It took me about twenty minutes to reach the dimly lit church. By the side of the church there was a rack with some clothes that were drying out in the cool evening breeze. I parked my bike besides the row of clothes. My face flushed when I saw that it was Ji’s clothes, my mind overflowed with disgusting thoughts. It surprised me that I was capable enough to be able to think of such thoughts. But as my head felt dizzy I wondered into the church being careful of my little buddy downstairs wouldn’t react to the image that I might see when I get inside the locked church.

The gate had a sign on it. Reading, “Forbidden church, those who enter may only be of pure souls.” I laughed at the silly little superstitious sign, when I heard a scream inside.

It made me jump but fear took over my laughter, it made me rush inside the church without thinking of preparing myself.

“JI ARE YOU OK?” I shouted at the top of my voice, to face an almost JiYong.

His face was blank but his eyes told me more that his face. They were red from crying and had dark circles around his beautiful brown eyes that reflected my stupid outfit. He looked embarrassed, which made me feel pretty bad about the whole situation. We were in a church and this was despicable really.

I turned my back at Ji, then held out my backpack at his directions.

 “Umm, take this.”I coughed gently, to break the silence between us two, “There are some snacks and a set of dry clothes. I don’t really know your style so I just picked up some of my clothes.”

“Thanks and do you mind not making me feel bad, am I really that ugly?” he said in a very persuasive yet worrying weak voice.

I was still really embarrassed and really sick thoughts came to my mind, which made this really awkward for me. Nevertheless, I thought of this as a once in a life situation and turned around with a final deep breath.

“No, it’s just that you’re half and you know…” I trailed off as I looked at his whole body, “You sure you don’t want this? Your clothes seemed really wet, and they won’t dry till tomorrow evening by the looks of it.”

That sentence completely changed his cheeky face, it was hard to tell but his face seem to be going red and his breathing had lost its steady beat. With that the long evening had begun.