Jimin stared mindlessly at the ceiling. Silent tears left his eyes as he brought his hand up to his heart. It hurt so much. The thought of Hoseok. How much the older hated him, how much the main dancer loved Taehyung. How the rapper would never even consider him as a lover. 

The lead dancer was aware of how much pain he was causing J-Hope to be in, but he just couldn't help it. His love for the other was so strong he couldn't help but try and go to any extent to claim him. He would do anything. Even if that did mean exploiting the olders past relationship and maybe destroying BTS all together. He didn't care, he would do anything to have Hoseok.

Flashback -  August 10, 2013

The ends of Jimins lips fell slightly as he watched the couple in front of him. Cuddling, and tickling each other. Grins across their faces as they were completely absorbed into the each other. It made the youngers heart twist, watching Taehyung and Hoseok like that.

The lead vocalist sighed softly before leaning his head to the side, so he could rest against Yoongi who was seated beside him. The second oldest didn't seem to mind since he was on his phone, catching up on social media.

"Hyung," Jimin called quietly.

"Hmm?" The rapper hummed back.

"What would you say if I told you I was in love with one of the members?" He asked suddenly, taking the older aback. Sugas eyebrows furrowed as his finger stopped swiping up and down the screen of his phone. The lead dancer saw the reaction, and he was about ready to pull away. He must have thought of Jimin as disgusting. He must have thought of pushing him away right then because he was gay.

"Jimin-ah you shouldn't be throwing around the word love like that," Yoongi pointed out, resuming to his earlier actions and easing up once again. 

"But if you really do like one of the members then have fun with that." He chuckled mockingly. "Whoever you like I'm pretty sure it will end in heartbreak. Jin hyung really only likes people for a month at most, Namjoon is definitely straight. But you can test that if you really want. I for one, don't see any of you like that, you're all family in my eyes. Tae and Hobi..." The rapper trailed off, looking up at the couple who were sitting across from him. "They practically claimed each other. And lastly, Kookie is a baby. But I guess he's you're best choice if you had to go for one of the members," he shrugged.

Jimin on the other hand, he had stopped listening when the other pointed out Taehyung and Hoseok. Suga was right, they practically claimed each other. They were practically like two pieces of a puzzle. They completed each other. 

But Jimin couldn't accept it.

Staring at the couple in front of him for the second time, he felt his heart twist. The jealousy that flooded his being and fogged up his mind came back instantly. The sorrow kept growing the longer he stared, especially when Hoseoks big grin would paint itself on his lips. Jimin was the one who wanted to be able to cause the older to smile like that, no one else. 

Getting lost in jealousy and heartache, he completely forgot that he was talking to Yoongi. "But yea, who's the one you like?" The older asked, bringing the lead vocalist back down to earth.

"Huh, what?" Jimin blinked, forcing his gaze onto Suga.

"You said you liked one of the members or something, who is it?" The rapper asked once again. 

Jimin stayed queit for a bit, contemplating whether it was a good idea to tell the second oldest. Of course he trusted Yoongi, he trusted him more than he did most of the members. So what was so bad of tell him? He also seemed completely unfazed by the fact that the lead dancer was into guys, so why would he judge him for liking Hoseok?

Sighing softly, the younger opened his mouth, ready to tell the rapper about his feelings. "I-" He was quickly interrupted though.

"Guys! Can you all come over here for a bit?" Hoseoks voice suddenly filled the practice room. Jimin looked over at the second oldest, but the other simply smiled before standing up. Guess he had to wait.

The first one to be sitting in front of V and J-Hope was Jungkook who literally scooted his way there. Jimin followed the youngest sitting beside him, while Yoongi walked behind the lead dancer. Jin stood beside the second oldest before the leader joined the two oldest members. When all the members accumulated themselves to that specific area in the practice room, all eyes were glued on Hoseok and Taehyung.

The second youngest nervously laughed before pushing the main dancer slightly. The olders expression also read nervousness, alongside a hint of excitement. What were the two going to say?

"U-uhm.." The rapper started, before clearing his throat a bit. "T-tae and I... We just thought it would be better to tell you guys this now instead of later. We don't want to keep any secrets from you guys. Even if that means some of you might hate us..." A shaky breath left his lips as he tried to calm down, but it obviously failed. "We-... Taehyung and I are dating."

The room went silent for a second.

Nothing was said for a while, as it seemed everyone was trying to digest the fact. There was no disgust on anyones face, it was just simply surprise. The first one to say anything was Rap Monster.

"You thought we were going to hate you guys for that?" He asked. It was soon followed by the two oldest members saying that the couple was ridiculous for thinking that, and jokingly saying they were disappointed that they ever thought that. The hyung line started to congratulate them, patting them on the back and teasing them.

The only ones who were still stuck in their state of shock were the two members seated on the floor. None of them had said a word yet, they were both frozen in their spot. It wasn't long until all the attention was on those two.

"What's up with those two?" Namjoon asked, his eyebrows furrowing and the ends of his smile falling down.

Taehyung and Hoseok nervously eyed the two members. They were their best friends, they couldn't just not accept it. They couldn't just end their friendship because the two loved each other. It wouldn't be fair.

"Hey, Kookie-" Taehyung started, bringing his hand closer to the maknae. But the youngest quickly snapped out of his trance and he backed away from the older. "Jungkook-" 

"No. No..." The main vocalist murmered while shaking his head. His eyes were wide and filled with denial. A soft whimper was the only sound the youngest could make before he stumbled onto his feet, running out of the practice room. 

Everyone stared at the spot the maknae was in for a bit, complete shock taking them over. The only one who wasn't concentrated on the now empty spot was Jimin. Jimin had his eyes glued on his same aged friend. He glared at the second youngest, jealousy, and hatred filling his gaze. It didn't take long for V to feel the intense stare, and he turned his head to the lead dancer.

"Ji-"

"I hate you," He growled under his breath before bolting up and storming out of the practice room as well. 

The only thing Jimin could feel was pain. It coursed through his veins, but it hurt the most in his heart. Yet, he should have seen this coming. He should've known that J-Hope loved V, he should've known that the older never had feelings for him. It was so obvious. The way the main dancer spent so much time with Taehyung, how he always gave the second youngest special attention. Everything. Jimin should have seen this coming, no he knew it was coming. So why did it hurt so much?

Slamming the door behind him, a chocked up sob left his lips. He didn't want to cry, that was the last thing he wanted to do. The lead vocalist bit down on his bottom lip as he clenched both of his fists tightly. It took every fibre in his being so no tears were to fall on their own accord. It was only until the lead dancer felt like he was going to burst any second that he let out a loud agonizing yell before hitting the wall in front of him.

Everything was crumbling around him, he felt so lost in emotion that he didn't even hear the door to the practice room open.

"Jimin..."

Said boy flinched as he heard his name get called. Turning around slowly, he was met with no one other than Hoseok. Jimin really didn't want to see him right now. More like, he didn't want to rapper to see him as this emotional wreck. Keeping his eyes to the ground, the younger didn't bother saying anything. There was nothing to say. Now wasn't the right time.

"Jimin, please don't hate us. Just have an open mind about this, please. I know you must think of Tae and I as disgusting, or freaks, but please. You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose you just because of a relationship. Same goes for Taehyung."

The end of Jimins mouth twitched slightly as he kept his head bowed down. His fists tightened and he really wanted to smack the other across the head. How could J-Hope be so stupid and actually think that he hated him because they were homoual? No, how could the older think that he hated him? He specifically said he hated his same aged friend. In that moment he just wanted to kiss the older, tell him about his feelings. It would've been easier to do that to explain his actions than come up with some dumb lie. Yet, before he could even do anything else, the main dancer began talking again.

"Can you please do it for me, Jiminie?" Hoseok asked. "I'll talk to you later, I need to find Jungkook." The rapper informed before quickly leaving. Jimin didn't say anything as he only watched J-Hopes leaving back. Letting out a shaky sigh he moved his gaze to the door of the practice room. He could just imagine all the members comforting Taehyung who was most likely crying in there. Jimin only scoffed as he shook his head a bit.

"I'm sorry Hobi hyung, but... I can't not hate him. He took you away from me."

Flashback - January 25, 2014

Jimin really did hate himself. He hated himself more than he hated Taehyung.

He never wanted to get lost in the world of jealousy and hatred, especially since it was all due to one of his best friends. Hell, he couldn't even call Taehyung that anymore. He hated him too much that it wasn't right to call him that. He knew it was sad that he hated his best friend only for the sole fact that he was in a relationship with Hoseok, but he couldn't help it. He was so insanely in love with the same man.

It wasn't long until Bangtan had their next comeback, they had even recorded the album. The only thing they had to do was film the music video in a couple of days and practice a whole ton before they were on stage and promoting once again. Being that there was about still about 3 weeks until that time though, the only ones who really bothered staying in the practice room for a bit longer were the two main dancers.

It had been about 2 hours since the members had left, leaving Jimin and J-Hope alone. Ever since that time the two didn't say much to each other since they were completely absorbed into dancing, but when they decided to take a break the pair became glued to each other. The older of the two leaned his back against the broad mirror while he sat cross-legged and the lead vocalist rested his head in the others lap.

Hoseok leaned his head back against the glass with a soft sigh as his hands went down in his lap to mess up the youngers hair. Jimin chuckled softly, but closed his eyes at the feeling. Enjoying the way the olders fingers felt against his skin, tousling his hair in a somewhat soothing way. "Hyung~ Isn't that gross?" he asked, chuckling softly. He was aware of the fact that his hair was sticky with sweat.

"It's fine~" J-Hope assured, looking down at the other with a soft grin.

Their eyes then made contact.

Of course it was normal, being that they were talking to each other. Yet, something about the way the older looked really captivated Jimin somehow. He wasn't sure if it was because of how the sweat glistened off the olders face that made him y in an odd way, or if it was because they were already in such a position that made everything feel a slight bit more intimate.

They stayed stuck like that for a bit, not daring to say a word or break eye contact. It was only when the lead dancer felt his hearts pace quicken and his confidence take a sudden spike that he decided to speak.

"Hy-hyung..." Jimin spoke up.

"Yea?" Hoseok asked, his eyes still glued on the younger.

"I-I've been wanting to tell you this for a really long time..." The lead vocalist started. "I-I really, really like you... I've liked you for such a long time now. I liked you even before you started dating Tae," Jimin confessed, finally breaking the eye contact.

Everything in the room went stiff right then. J-Hope immediately tensed up and also moved his gaze somewhere else in the room. "Ah, is that so..." The older asked, his lips nervously. "S-Sorry... I-It must be really hard for you..."

"I-It's fine," Jimin assured, but he knew well enough that was a lie. "I-I just... I wanted to tell you that..." The younger felt his heart breaking, he already knew the older was going to shun him from now on. He knew that their friendship was going to be over and his chances were going to fall to zero. His eyes started to sting with tears at the thought of losing Hoseok, and he knew then that he had to get out of there. "Ah, sorry." He whimpered ever so slightly, bolting out of his seat and making his way to the door.

But J-Hope stopped him.

The older didn't even hesitate to get up as well and grab the others wrist. Before the lead dancer could even pull away, or even react, he was pulled into a warm embrace. "I'm sorry," J-Hope apologized softly. Jimin didn't even care about the apology, he only attempted to push the older away, which ended up in failure. Small whimpers left his lips before he couldn't stop the tears from coming out anymore. It was only when the first tear left his eye that he decided to accept the main dancer and cried hard into his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," The rapper kept repeating. "It's going to be okay, I swear. You'll find a better guy than me," he assured softly as his hand went up and down the youngers back.

Jimin never believed those words though. He knew that he would never find a better guy, and even if he didn't he wouldn't want him. He only wanted Hoseok, no one else.

The two stayed like that for a good couple of minutes until the youngers cries turned into soft sniffles. J-Hope didn't stop repeating those empty words until the younger finally pulled away and his sniffles had even stopped. "Hey, Jimin-ah." The older started, but the younger didn't bother looking up at him. Despite that, he continued to talk. "Even though you do like me, don't worry. I'll never leave you." With that, the rapper took the lead vocalist hand into his own. He took ahold of the younger pinky before pulling out his own and wrapping them together.

"I promise I won't leave you. I don't want to lose you."

Present Day

"Lies"

That was all Jimin mumbled to himself as he stared at his pinky. He shouldn't have believed the older when he said that, he should've known it was just simple pity at the time, nothing more. The lead vocalist let his eyes close once again before he placed his hand over his heart for the second time. Those words from that day kept replaying in his head, and he wasn't sure if he should feel mad or upset at the moment.

He should have felt upset. Upset for the fact that the main dancer never went by his promise. Hoseok shoved him away in the end and now he wants nothing to do with him. He should have been upset that the older gave him false hope.

He should have felt mad. Mad that he still loved Hoseok despite the fact he knew his feelings for Taehyung would never waver. He should have felt mad that his friendship with the rapper was completely destroyed. He should have been mad that he was hating his supposed best friend V just because he loved the main dancer. He should have been mad that he was lying to all of s.

An annoyed yell left his lips before he turned over so his face could get burried inside the fluffy pillows. He really hated how everything turned out to be. How everything seemed like a mere dream with the anticipation and excitement of having a crush, but quickly crashed down into a broken friendship filled with hate.

Why can't you love me back? Why cant you understand that my feelings are true? Why do you think they are fake?

Is it because I go to far extents to be with you? 

Yet... Isn't that what love is?

Going miles and miles to be with the person they love? 

Doing anything they can to be with that person?

So why do you keep saying my feelings aren't love?

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Little filler chappie, just so ya'll can get a little glimpse of how Jimin feels.

I even made it long because my last chapter seemed a bit short ^^