How many times has he done this? It would be like trying to count the stars if he had to recall every night he had to cry himself to sleep. Mustering up ever little thing he's seen today of Jimin and J-Hope together. Imagining the outcome of all their actions, the picture of his lover cheating on him becoming inevitable. The thought haunting his mind during the day, and taking over his dreams at night. Thinking about it hurt so much it made him numb. 

At first, the pain was like a constant twisting in his stomach, as if he was ready to puke but it would never come out. It was like his heart had jumped off an endless cliff, never being able to land to the ground below, so it could all just hurt at once, but go away after a few seconds. Eventually, it became too much and it ended up feeling like nothing but numbness to Taehyung. He honestly wasn't all too sure if he preferred this feeling over the one before, nonetheless he couldn't control it. If he could control how he felt about anything, he would make it so it wouldn't fell like anything. But he couldn't do that. And that's why he felt like this almost all the time. 

V let himself curl into ball, making his body go into the fetal position. He liked sleeping like this, because if he didn't, he was scared he would lose himself somehow. It was like, if he couldn't hold onto every limb attached to his body, one would get lost in some black hole. Then, it would cause the rest of him to get into it. But, it was already as if he was stuck in one. The vocalist always felt like he was stuck in a dark vaccum, no light, no hope, nothing. So would it be possible to even get caught in another tunnel of nothingness? Frankly, he didn't want to test it out. So here he was, silently crying himself to sleep in the fetal position.

Taehyung let his fingers trace incoherent shapes on his bed sheet underneath him. Why was it so hard to fall asleep tonight? Was it because he witnessed more JiHope than needed? Or was it because it was much too early for his body to actually rest? It wasn't even midnight, and here he was. Fresh clothes wrapped around his body along with a light blanket covering his being. His hair was fluffy as it had the faint smell of shampoo, since he had taken a warm shower earlier, thinking it would help him fall asleep faster. But it didn't. 

Stupid images of the rapper and lead vocalist were keeping him restless, and it didn't help that he could hear faint giggles through the thin walls of the dorm. He didn't even need to hear the giggles a second time to realize it was the two keeping him up in his mind that were also keeping him from sleeping in real time. Groaning with frustraing, V covered the ear that was facing up with his hand, trying to block out the sound. It did the job, as the background noise was only faint to begin with, but after hearing it once it got new images to sprout into his head. Then he went off again, the tears trickling down his face faster to when he first began. He held back the soft hiccups as he tried to be as quiet as possible, just incase anyone was to come into his room. 

Trying to get his mind on anything but the lead vocalist and his lover together. He tried to think of a song to maybe work as a lullaby to fall asleep. At first, he tried to get some relaxing music into his head like some soothing songs with no lyrics he heard a couple weeks ago. But somehow, his mind went to their album and the songs that stuck out like a sore thumb to him. For most people it would be simply because of the catchy tune, but for him, the songs related to his relationship with J-Hope so well. Even thinking about them just made his heart twist in a different way, a more painful way. 

Then, his body seemed to go against his efforts as a choked up sob escaped his throat. The sound took V aback at first, it had been so long since he heard himself sob. But it seemed the first sob was a way for his body to get even more cries to come out. And before he knew it, the vocalist was a complete mess, experiencing a total break down. He knew he wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

The pain he held in for the past months were coming back to him, like bullets they all went through his heart. It felt as if each bullet came one at a time, instead of all at once, giving him a pain he never felt before. A pain he thought was impossible to ever experience. Squirming under the sheets, he suddenly felt like he was suffocating, like he was thrown into water off guard, and he was too deep to ever reach the surface. But despite it, he buried his face into he pillow, bitting into it so he could keep himself quiet. Alas, the harder he tried, the louder the sobs would come out. It made Taehyung feel completely helpless.

The second youngest trembled so hard, anyone would think he was shaking on purpose. He felt himself lose control of himself, it was honestly the scariest thing he could ever experience in his life. It only caused him to cry harder into his pillow, which seemed surprising as it felt like his throat was closing on him. It would make V wonder how it was possible to cry so hard, yet feel like his lungs had no air at all, but he was too distracted by the emotional and physical pain he was going through in the moment. 

Everything hurt. The pain spread from his heart to the rest of his body like a cancer. Everything was spinning, which seemed impossible since the vocalists eyes were squeezed as tight as humanly possible. Every inch in his body seemed to burn, especially his throat, as he was panting for air that was failing to enter his being. Soon enough, the pain was becoming far too much that he couldn't hold back anymore. As much as V wanted to hold back his cries, or at least make them quieter, he couldn't. Forcing his face deeper into the pillow he let out endless cries of depair. 

Self pity took him over as he hated himself like this. Breaking down completely, not being able to hide anymore. He wouldn't even be surprised if someone walking by could hear his sobs. The second youngest fears were confirmed when he suddenly heard the door click open. In that moment Taehyung really wanted to be invisible, or at least control himself, but the second choice was just as impossible as the first. Frankly, the thought of someone seeing him like this just caused the water works to worsen. Because of how noisy he was, he could barely hear the gasp that had escaped the intruders lips.

"Oh my god... Tae..." The other let out slowly, it must have shocked him, seeing the cheerful 4D alien like this. By hearing the others voice, V was able to feel less ashamed, knowing who it was now.

Kim Seokjin.

The last thing he would need was the leader or Suga, being awkward and unable to know how to handle the situation. Or the maknae, who he doubted had a clue about how much the mere thought of someone you love cheating on you, could hurt so badly. And he especially didn't need Jimin nor J-Hope coming in, and simply worsening the blow, acting as if they were innocent and had no idea what they were putting the vocalist through. So it was nice that Jin had arrived, he had the motherly warmth that the younger desperately needed at the moment.

Feeling the olders arms wrap around his still trembling body, it calmed him down, but only by a fraction. His sobs still came out quick and loudly as the pain that coursed through his body didn't go down at all. The only thing that he could hear was the olders voice repeating the same three words 'Oh my god' over and over again like a mantra, as if it was actually going to help him. 

The older was kneeling in front of the second youngests bed, holding him close. It hurt his heart to see one of the members like this, especially Taehyung of all people. One of his hands moved up to the back of youngers head and pulled him closer so he could cry into his shoulder. Given the offer, that's exactly what he did.

V grabbed onto the front of the olders shirt as it became a replacement for his pillow. The never ending tears quickly stained the others shirt as he rested his head against the vocalists shoulder. The cries suddenly became louder as the younger had nothing to bite onto in attempt to stop his sobs, so he merely had Jins chest to muffle them. 

Seokjin wasn't sure how long they had stayed like that. He could wager about an hour. Well, about an hour was how long it took for Taehyungs cries to become small sniffles and quiet hiccups. The younger must have been worn out from how long his break down lasted. In all honestly Jin was simply getting tired from staying in position for that long, but it never crossed his mind to ever leave the other. Instead, he sat there blankly, his hand mindlessly combing through the second youngests hair, taking in the scent of the others shampoo. 

Another half an hour went by, the sound of the youngers sniffles being the only sound bouncing off the walls of the room. And before Jin knew it, the V had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Or that's what he thought. When the older tried to move him onto the bed again, the vocalist grabbed his shirt, refusing to move. "S-sorry... I thought you fell asleep," Seokjin apologized softly, bringing him closer to his body once again.

"H-hyung... I-I'm sorry..." Taehyung finally spoke up. This was the first time he talked ever since the older had entered, no it was the first time he voiced anything ever since J-Hope left his room earlier that evening.

"What are you apologizing for?" Jin asked, shifting a bit so he could look at the younger face. His face was extremely red, while his cheeks had a thin coat of tears along them. His eyes had turned a blood shot colour and they had become very puffy. Just seeing one of the groups happy pills like this broke the olders heart even more, what would cause him to be like this?

"I-I just... I don't know. Keeping you up, making you witness this... I just feel sorry," V choked out.

"It's fine really," The older assured, his hand moving up and down the second youngests back in a soothing way. "But you know, if anythings bothering you, you can tell me. I won't judge you or anything, and I definitely wont tell anyone. You can trust me Taehyung-ah." 

Hearing the words, V simply let out a shaky breath before bowing his head down. Of course he would want to tell him everything, let every single thing off his chest. He knew for a fact that he did trust to oldest, so what did he have to lose? Opening up his mouth slowly, his lips trembled as he tried to spill everything that had bothered him for the past months. Failing to make any sound form from his throat, he started to feel frustrated. So when he wanted to be quiet his body forced him to be loud, and now that he wanted to say something his body forced him on mute. How convenient.

Seeing the other struggling to say anthing, Jin simply gave him a soft smile, depsite the younger keeping his gaze on the ground. "If you don't want to tell me, it's fine." He told the other. "You must be exhausted, you should sleep." Seokjin said before helping the other get back onto the bed, this time Taehyung complying to his actions. When the second youngest was tucked into bed and seemed much more emotionally stable than before, the older felt a bit more confident in leaving him alone. 

Before leaving, Jin sat on the edge of the bed, watching what exactly the younger would do. He was pretty positive the vocalist wasn't going to do anything too dramatic, or big in that case, since it seemed way too tired to do anything. His fingers played with the bed sheets for a bit before he noticed how the other was staring right back at him. The eye contact lasted for a while, a while too long that was. Seokjin could see how broken Taehyung was just by staring into his dark brown orbs. He could see all the pain and misery that was flooding his being. "Taehyung..." the older whispered softly, not sure what to say, as he himself was starting to get a rush of emotions. It was as if Vs emotions itself had rubbed off on him, and just by the taste of what the younger was going through was overwhelming.

Sensing the older had caught onto his pain, Taehyung quickly broke the contact. Shifting his body so he was on his side, his body now facing the door. "Goodnight hyung," he said simply, as if everything that had just happened was all an act. Seokjin, being submerged in a mix of emotions and confusion, simply stood up, making his way back to the door. Before grabbing the handle, he turned around to face the younger once again. 

"Tae," he called out.

"Yes?" said boy answered, eyes flickering open.

"Even if you want to tell me what going on or not, I just want to give you a piece of advice." Seokjin started before chewing on his bottom lip, waiting for an answer from the other incase he didn't want to hear it. Seeing the other nod a bit, Jin smiled softly.

"You know. It's okay to cry once in awhile."

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This chap was pretty sad to write ;-;

Alright, so I want your guys opinion ^^ First of all, what do you think of the story so far? (lol what story it's like two chapters), Second of all, whats your guys thoughts on J-Hopes personality? Do you guys think he's cheating? Or his r/s with Jimin is completely platonic? Do you guys even think he's aware he's hurting poor TaeTae?