I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling blankly. Jungkook's side of the bed was empty, which wasn't very unusual. What had caught my attention (as soon as the thunder outside had scared me awake) was his phone lying on the nightstand, ringing. The voicemail from his manager, which had played as soon as I had answered the call, was even more interesting.

Hey, kid. The tickets for the tour have been booked for next Saturday. We'll be back in three months...I couldn't get them to reduce it. I know our meeting didn't go exactly well earlier, but I'm hoping you'll give some thought to what I told you. Call me.

He was going away on a tour next Saturday. Saturday, which was his birthday. Two tickets to an IU concert lay hidden in my desk, along with a little letter I had written to him when we were in school, telling him that I liked him. Hyerin smacked it out of my hands when I had showed it to her, saying something about how I couldn't tell a guy that I liked him over a letter and how that was "so ing medieval".

I thumbed at the corner of his pillow, thinking about the letter, thinking about where Jungkook was right now, thinking about how horrible it felt to wake up alone at night, especially when you expected someone to be there, right by your side.

It thundered outside again, masking the sound of the door opening. I covered my ears with my hand, shivering slightly. I wasn't afraid of thunderstorms. I just hated how loud they were.

The covers rustled and the bed dipped next to me. I opened my eyes to see Jungkook staring back at me, his nose pressed against mine, his eyes filled with all the laughter and love in the world.

"You're dripping." I said flatly.

"Yep." He mumbled. "How long have you been awake?"

"A while." I whispered, my voice hoarse. "You were out in the rain?"

"Yeah." He sighed happily and pressed closer. "Sorry for leaving. I was craving take-out."

I was about to laugh. I was about to press even closer to him, kiss his lips, run my hands through his hair. I was about to share the laughter in his eyes. But in that moment, I felt alone. More alone than I could possibly imagine. Jungkook was right here in front of me, but I felt alone.

The smile died on my lips before it even formed, leaving my mouth hanging open in a weird, twisted way.

"Three months." 

Jungkook stilled. I could feel the rapid beating of his heart under my palm, just as I could feel the sudden coldness of his breath. 

"You're leaving me alone again." I said sadly, pushing the bangs away from his forehead.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you had a bad dream." He said in a low voice. "I just went out for some take-out, that's it."

"You left your phone", I said, vaguely nodding to my left. "Your manager left you a voicemail."

His face hardened. "You went through my phone?"

I just stared at him, partly in disbelief that that was what he was choosing to focus on. 

"You were missing in the middle of the night, and you hadn't taken your phone." I said, coldly. "You got a call. I answered it, but it went to voicemail instead."

He stared back at me, not moving a muscle.

"Three months." I whispered, "Three months, and you're leaving next Saturday."

I could see the tears in his eyes, threatening to fall over if I said anything more. 

I wanted them to fall. I wanted him to cry, just as I had. I was a selfish , and I knew it well. I was angry. I felt wronged. Three ing months and he hadn't told me. He had kissed me even, like he wasn't about to leave. Had told me he loved strawberries. 

"Jihye, don't."

"Your birthday." I said, this time more firmly. "You're leaving the country for three months, on your birthday, and the only reason I know that is because of dumb luck."

He shuffled off of me, solemnly, not saying a word.

"I'm gonna need you to say something, Jeon." I laughed emptily. "I mean, don't you want to accuse me of going through your phone? Let's talk about that."

He walked around the room, ignoring me. He took off his jacket, put down the bag of whatever-it-was that he went to get at this ungodly hour.

"Let's talk about this in the morning." He said, taking his shirt off. It was soaking wet.

"We're talking about this now." I glared at his back, trying to will him to look at me. "This isn't a two-week tour. This isn't a few days in Japan. This is three months abroad."

"I know that." He said, grabbing a towel to dry his hair. "I know what three months is. I know what abroad is."

"Man, you have some nerve." I let out an exasperated chuckle. "You're actually getting mad at me?"

"Yeah, because you're acting like I actually enjoy leaving!" He said, finally turning to me. "You think I like this? You think I asked for this?"

"No, but I think that not telling your girlfriend that you're going out of the country for three ing months was an extremely ty thing to do!" I yelled. 

"I was going to tell you!" He yelled back. "I just didn't know how to do it, without it turning into an argument!"

"That's impossible, Jungkook." I said, lowering my voice. "The point is to have an argument. It's a ty situation. You tell me, I get frustrated, we go back and forth for a while, and then I say 'we'll figure it out', give you a kiss, and then fall back asleep!"

We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, silently, save for the sound of the rain beating on the windows and the clock ticking away the seconds. One, two, three, four. Four less seconds until next Saturday.

"I went out for some cake." Jungkook said, breaking the silence. "Coffee cake. No icing, cherry on top."

I thought about schools and skipping class. Of being promised a birthday cake. Of waiting for someone who never showed up.

"You're around three years late." I replied, feeling tired. He gave me a weird look. "What, you really wanted to remind of that wonderful night?"

"I just..." His voice trailed off. "...I had a bad dream. I dreamt about that night I left for Seoul, and I just...I woke up, saw you sleeping next to me, and I just couldn't keep it together."

I blinked back tears that I didn't know I had. Jungkook sat on the chair by my desk, looking smaller than I had ever seen him. It hit me then; three months away from Korea didn't only mean three months away from me, it meant three months away from his parents, his friends, and his home. All of this, at the young, young age of 19.

I got up, and walked over to him. Out of all the ty things in his life, I knew that I should be one thing he could always count on. 

"Hey", I began, climbing onto his lap. He raised his arms, as if to steady me, but held back. 

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, averting his eyes. "I keep messing up, and I'm sorry."

I played with his hair, unsure of what to say. I felt him shiver under me, and that's when I realized he still hadn't put a shirt on, and was still wet from the rain. 

"Let's talk about this in the morning." I relented, taking the towel out of his hands and wrapping it around him. "You keep getting wet and then getting cold. You'll get sick."

He didn't say anything. I kept running my fingers through his hair, and he leaned into my hand. I could feel his cheeks, cold from the rain, but warm from the tears. This scene felt oddly familiar: our first big fight, since the day he left for Seoul.

"I'd kissed you on the cheek that night, remember?" I said softly, bringing his face up, so that he would meet my eyes. "It was so dramatic. Drama queens, the both of us."

He seemed to allow himself a little smile. I pressed a kiss to his nose, and he hung his arms around my waist.

"We're still the same." I sighed, thumbing the scar on his cheek. "We're still just kids, Jeon. I mess up a lot too. God knows we messed up that night. But look where we are now."

He kept his silence, but it looked like he had a thousand things to say. I took a good look at him then: the wrinkles around his eyes, not only from the amount of smiling he did, but also from the amount of stress he had. The dark circles, the eyebags, the puffiness of his eyelids. The one or two grey hair that escaped the dye. So much weight on the shoulders of such a young kid.

"Let's talk about this in the morning", I said again, before leaning in to give him a kiss, doing what I wished I'd done three years ago.

"We should've done this a long time ago", he said, smiling against my lips. "I think I knew, even back then."

The air stilled around us. Neither of us dared to move a muscle. My heart almost leapt out of my throat.

Knew what? I'd wanted to ask, but I stayed silent. I knew what the answer would've been.

"Jihye-" he began, barely audible.

"Hush, now." I cut him off, before he could truly incriminate himself. I was elated, but we weren't ready for this, not yet. "We have all the time in the world."

His panic seemed to fade away at that. The clock didn't seem so scary anymore, and neither did the thunder.

In what little space existed between us, there was no room for the future. For now, we were nothing but two young kids, messing up together, and we'd figure it out someday.  

Someday.

--

um hey guys!!!!!! it's been !!!!! two years???? kdjnvdkvn

it's been like four years since i began this fic .. i can't believe it,,, so much has changed. i was going through my old writing on a whim and came across this chapter in the drafts. thought i should complete it :^)

my writing style's changed a lot, it's gotten a lot better (thanks to two grueling years of AP english courses and one semester of college writing), so it's interesting to see how my style's grown and evolved over the years. one thing that hasn't changed tho: my love for bts :"))))

i'm rly sorry for not updating for so long!! i won't promise consistent updates or that I'll be done soon, but i can promise that i'll love this fic forever. gotta give 2015 me /some/ credit

love yall!! (pls forgive any grammar/plot/errors in general it's really late and im being hella impulsive lmfao ill edit this later)