I had spent that entire night cooped up in my room, crying my eyes out. I don't even know why it affected me so much. It was a stupid crush, and I was supposed to feel sad for a bit and then get over it. 

Except I couldn't.

I had packed his clothes into a neat pile and put them away in my closet, sealing them in an air-tight bag. I had no right to wear them anymore. They belonged to Alice now.

Only his snapback had lain on my bed, taunting me with memories of the day we had spent at the cottage. His tanned skin and overgrown hair filled my mind as I had curled up on the floor, shivering with cold, unwelcome nostalgia.  

--

It had been nearly a month since then. I barely talked to Jungkook anymore, since he was too busy hanging out with Alice. She made him laugh and smile, more than I ever could. I hated that.

He no longer sat with us at lunch. Hyerin would often refuse to let me leave the classroom, in case I spotted them holding hands or eating together and had a breakdown. I resented the fact that he looked so happy with her. A little part of me hoped that this was all a really bad dream; that maybe I would wake up on the day of his birthday, and relive the moments I spent with his arms wrapped around me. I forced my eyes open with that hope every morning, but all that greeted me was the peeling plaster of my ceiling along with my phone that notified me that it was 7 a.m. on a cold October morning. 

I lay my head on my table, trying to hide my teary eyes. I heard excitement near the door, which usually meant Jungkook and Alice had arrived, walking arm-in-arm while talking about how much fun they had in the park on the weekend. I sunk down lower, hoping they would simply walk past me. Instead, I heard a chair being pulled back as someone sat in front of me, resting their elbows on my desk.

"Jihye." It was Jungkook. "Are you asleep?"

I sniffed and discreetly wiped my eyes, looking up. "No, but I'm really tired."

He gave me a weird look. "What's with your eyes? And nose?"

"Allergies." I said hurriedly. "What do you want?"

"I haven't talked to you in ages." He grinned, making my heart ache. "How you doin'?"

"I'm good." I forced a smile. "Where's Alice?"

"She had to attend some stupid all-day event with her family." He pouted, playing with his bangs. "It's s-

"Do you really like her, Jungkook?" I blurted out suddenly, clenching my fists under the table. 

He looked taken aback. "...Of course I do. Why?"

"Really really like her?" I pressed on. "Or are you just saying so because she had confessed to you, and you couldn't turn her down?"

"I really like her." He said defensively. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing, it's just..." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "The whole 'I like this mystery girl' thing confused me. She was the last person I expected you to like."

"That's because you're as dense as a rock." He laughed.

"Hey." I frowned. "Your mystery girl could have been anyone else." 

"Uh, I don't think so." He scoffed. "Pretty legs, nice smile, dark brown hair, likes my smirk, nice-rude to me. There isn't anyone else who matches the description."

"There's no one else?" I asked him, in a desperate tone. "You're sure you can't think of any other girl?"

He tapped his chin, deep in thought. There's no way he hadn't considered me. I had stolen his clothes. He had held my hand and stood with me in the middle of the ing ocean. He had snuck me out of my house so I could take a break from studying. He had even sung to me. He had-

"Nope." He shook his head. "There's no one."

I stared blankly at the space front of me as the bell rang. He got up and ruffled my hair, bidding me goodbye with his usual insults. I didn't hear him, though. I didn't hear anything.

Because I was no one.