PREVIOUSLYY
"I'll always be there...." Taemin sunbae said shyly.
That warmed up my heart and I hope those words are true....I hoped he would really always be there. I wished he was someone I could tell everything to and trust....but I can't because I'm scared he judged me...even though he's so nice...I'm scared of being rejected because I'm scared he's also one of those liars in society who lied about believing in personality over looks when really they preferred it the other way round..
but....Sunbae, you really do warm up my heart everyday...and sometimes I can feel your love.
Just that..........it's probably just a sting from your electric shock....
because there's no way you'll fall for someone like me.
But I love the way you squeeze my hand when I was crying just then...because your touch......will electric shock my heart....and that stops me from getting sad...even though it hurts sometimes.
Was being in love really this painful or is it just me?
"I'll be there too," smiled Jonghyun oppa which made me feel calm and relieved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUR P.O.V
It was silent.
Aunni and I didn't exchange any words while we walked home. I really don't like Soo jin.....but it was only her friends that were being harsh right? But....she was crying infront of a huge crowd to make us.... look bad......she's acting right?
I half trusted her but the other part of me is telling me to hate her.
No....her tears didn't look fake...................well....her eyes read deep pain. Aish, Park Soo jin, you confuse me. Do you really want our forgiveness...and if you receive it...you really won't hurt us again right? As long as it's not Aunni or my friends you're hurting...I guess it's fine..
If you promise that.....I can forgive you....right?
Aish...I don't know.....
forgiveness for you? Do you deserve it?
Learn to forgive, not to forget
Well I can't forgive or to forget. But..........I never have given Soo jin forgiveness before....how about I give it to her once? And that one time can be the last time......
AISH.
"ANNYEONG," waved Hongki as he welcomed us back with his warm smile.
Jin kyong aunni didn't say anything and rushed into her room and slammed the door closed. I think she decided to cry silently to herself or something...
"Mwoh? Did something happen? Jin ae-ahh!" Hongki squeaked as he immediately shot up from the chair and came towards me, tugging my arm like what Soo jin did earlier, "Jin ae-ahhh!!! You guys aren't allowed to be saddd!"
I smiled weakly at him. He stared at me with those concerned and pretty eyes. The way he was tugging my arm annoyed me a little.........because I'm tired of people doing that.....
"What is it?" he continued, still tugging my arm, "what is it? You can tell me right? please please pleasseeee, what is it?? I want to knowwww!"
Honestly...I wasn't in the mood for his nagging today. I just wanted to go and sleep...hide, like what Jin kyong aunni was doing right now. I'm still in pain because of Sunbae's electric shock and...I'm really frustrated....and the arm tugging...........
"please.." I replied coldly, "It's really nothing....nothing for you to know about.....and.....I don't think you can change the reality of things..even if I told you.....please leave me alone to rest for a bit..."
I think I said those words were too......direct. I felt him slowly release my arm and stood there, silent. I looked at him who was now looking at the ground. He didn't look happpy....
"Jin ae-ah..." he continued in a shaky tone. I watched as his pretty eyes were starting to tear up, "I thought...we were bestfriends.......I thought you saw me as someone who could always be there....."
I watched as a teardrop gently rolled down his cheek, "I just wanted to care..."
I didn't realise he was still this sensative. Five years ago....he cried over the smallest things......and I always hurt him like that. I thought he was different seeing it's been so long but....he wasn't...he was still sensative and easily hurt although he acts so happy and cheerful..
"mianhae.." I replied as I was about to put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him but he pushed it away, "I'm reallly...sorry.."
He just looked at me with those teary and pretty eyes and left. He went towards the door and was about to leave...
"I'm staying..........." he called in a trembly tone which made me sad that he was crying....but I heard him say he was staying which made me relieved..."I'm staying in the little room behind the ice cream shop...................Jin ae-ah....I don't think you need me here....."
That brought my hopes down.
He shut the door behind him and just left. I was expecting his forgiveness but......no...
What was it today? Why is everyone getting hurt?
Worst is...I was the one who hurt Hongki...
Was it fated to be like this today?
Do I have to blame myself or fate?
I slowy got down on my knees. I didn't want to cry but...I couldn't help but feel the tears fall down my cheeks.
I promised myself this is the last time I would cry so I made it long.
I'm releasing all the pain right now until I have no more tears to cry out...until my eyes go dry.
I didn't care how stupid I looked right now.
I'm letting all these feelings free from me and tomorrow will be a whole new day when I'll forget about everything in which I thought was already over.
It was just lies.
I can't believe I thought I was finally feeling alright again. I can't believe I believed in that lie.
and why?
Because I'm so stupid and such a fool
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TAEMIN'S P.O.V
It's so late.............and I'm still awake, lying on my bed. I share the same room as Jonghyun-hyung and I'm sure he was already asleep. He was so tired when he came home afterschool today.....I'm so bored, I CAN'T SLEEP.
I grabbed my cellphone and looked at my contacts list...
Yoo Jin ae........
I wonder is she sleeping well?
Is she sleeping with a smile on her face like last time when I tucked her in bed?
Or is she crying herself to sleep?
Lee Taemin...it's so late, put your worries aside....Jin ae is fine. She's a strong girl....
Should I text her?
I fiddled on my cellphone for awhile and texted her a message.
Jin ae-ah, sleep well tonight because tomorrow you'll be tested on your bass clef notes! If you pass you'll get a reward!
-Lee Taemin-
keke. So what award should I give her if she passes? A hug or............omo it's a lollipop!
Jin ae would enjoy lollipops right? She's so naive and innocent. kekeee.
Saranghae my Jin ae..
sleep well...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JONGHYUN'S P.O.V
OMO, THE NOISE OF SOMEONE TEXTING just woke me up. I heard Taeminnie fiddle around for awhile until the noise later died out. He must've went back to sleep. I waited for a few minutes so I could make sure he was asleep. HOHOHO. I'm tired but I'm so curious. I want to know who he sent the message to.
HEHES. Time to.........steal his phone.
I carefully stretched my short arms towards the table where his cellphone sat. , this is so gay, I want to have long arms like Minho who thinks having the face of keroro and the height of 181cm is everything. PFFT.
Well, you know what? I have my own charms (^__^)V
Then why doesn't Jessica like me...............Aish, whatever, time to concentrate.
After five hundred years of hard work I finally got it. I flipped through his messages and looked at the sent ones.
To: Jin ae
-Jin ae-ah, sleep well tonight because tomorrow you'll be tested on your bass clef notes! If you pass you'll get a reward!-
sent 20 minutes ago.
.......MWOH?!
That message is so unsweet. Our Taeminnie knows nothing about being romantic like us. Should I re-send? should I? Should I? I can always write things like......
'YOU ARE THE SUN OF MY DAY'
'YOU ARE THE FLOWER THAT STANDS OUT IN THE GARDEN'
'YOU ARE THE......................cow that stands out in the.....farm.'
'YOU ARE THE............gorrila......that stands out in the........................................jungle.'
please don't go too overboard..
Jessica's words echoed in my mind...........
Mianhae, I almost did it again. SHOOT ME. @(*@($ It's so hard thoughhhh....the temptation.....wwweeeeeeeewwwww rrrreeeeeoooowwwwww..........................eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkk.....
AISH, I have to stop myself right? If I keep having these thoughts she'll never fall in love with meeeeee D:
And why do I only care about Taeminnie's love life but do nothing for myself? I'm such a coward.....
Aishhh, I'll just go to sleep.
-chucks Taeminnie's phone on the table-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUR P.O.V
Today......I W.A.G.G.E.D.
Well.................my excuse is....I want to spend the whole day away from the reality and pretend I have a peaceful life in the ice cream shop.
Taemin Sunbaeee, I'm so sorry, I can't come today for our lesson >.< I'm not ready because I was too busy crying last night and......I really want some time on my own today..........MIANHAEEEEEE.
I should find Hongki too........well yea.......he's hurt and it was my fault...
"Jin ae-ahhh!" I heard aunni yell, "Are you suree you're not coming today?"
Well......she looked happier and finer today.
AND..I'm sure I"m not coming today, I would rather not disturb her and Key Sunbae. ^^
"mhmmm, I'm not coming........annyeong!" I called as I waved at her who was standing at the door.
"oh...................annyeong," she replied quietly as she left and shut the door behind her. She probably wasn't happy to hear that I wasn't coming because she'll be walking to and from school alone......ah well, Aunni can deal with it for today.
Well.......what should I do first? My old cellphone was the first thing that caught my eye.
I picked it up and examined the scratched edges and screen. It's so old. I got it from a friend for free when he was about to throw it out. That was...........five years ago and I don't even remember who that friend was anyway.....the colour of the phone was fading and some scratched off, revealing brown, bronzish coloured metal underneath that looked so disgusting.
I should steal Soo jin's old cellphones since she changes it once every month or so....wait, I don't want to touch her disgusting filth.
I should text Sunbae and tell him I'm not coming today right? He might've organized something and I don't want him to feel kinda.....sad or disappointed since because I won't be coming today.......well I can't help it, I'm not going to be there anyway but I should tell him..NOT that he would care if I was there or not.
Sunbae do you miss me?
...........nonono, that's a nono, that's impossible.
I'll just text him.
Sunbaee, I'm not here today so.....aaahhh mianhaeyo, I'll be back tomorrow! :D
-Yoon Jin ae-
Aish, well, time to do something. I'm planning to work at the ice cream shop all day and also.......talk to Hongki....that's only if he gives me a chance to.....I hurt him after all...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EUN MI'S P.O.V
"but...Tiffanyyyy," I nagged as I grabbed her on the arm and din't let her go. We are currently hiding behind a bush at the school gates where everyone enters the school grounds from. She wanted to tell Onew oppa about Jin ae's secret!!!!!! That's not allowed to happen right? IT'S A NONONONOONONO.
"Eun mi-ahh," she replied looking slightly annoyed, "It's for the best you know.....I WANT TO HELP JIN AE, she needs a wingman to help her and Taemin you know............AND YOU said that Onew was one of Taemin's close friends anddd anddd anddd YOU SAID Onew was good at keeping secretsssssssssss."
Yea...Onew oppa is good at keeping secrets but wouldn't it hurt Jin ae more if so much people knew? We as a group of friends already know and that's quite a lot....and she only told us because she wanted to be fair since only Jessica and I knew about it that time...
Onew oppa does talk to Jin ae sometimes and he can helppp right? Jin ae's got no confidence and stuff so Onew can probably encourage Taemin to be nice and stuff to her and boost her confidence...
BUT it was still a secret...and how would she feel if she found out? I mean.....I don't want to lie to her when she's suspecting us and I don't want to betray her trustttt >.<
"Tiffanyyy," I continued as I felt her trying to loosen my grasp, "What if we got caught?"
She stopped loosening her arm and looked at me.
O_O
"Eun mi-ah," she replied, "You know we won't get caught....according to my senses I can trust Onew. Even the way he looks, he looks mature and sensible...apart fom his obsession with chicken and cold jokes..."
"You call him mature and sensible....." I interuppted as I glared at her, "loving chicken and being so obsessed with it PLUS always telling cold jokes is enough to be called NOT sensible and mature ㄱ_ㄱ"
"WELLLLLLLL," Tiffany squealed as she stood up.
"OI what are you doing?" I whispered as I pulled her back down, "You know the bush isn't as tall as you o.O"
"Sorrrry, I was just trying to..." she answered as she knelt closer beside me, "I was just trying to make myself look higher than you because you're a low outcast."
"ㄱ_ㄱ"
"......uhmm....SO YEA, EVEN THOUGH ONEW HAS THOSE UH...CHARACTERISTICS," she replied changing the subject, "I can still trust him for it because like.......YOU said he was good at those thingssss and yeaa for the billionth time, JUST DO IT, for her good and Jin ae won't find out unless it's either you or I who ends up telling her....and I'm sure you're not stupid enough to do that right? Everything will go well and even if we do get caught...who knows? she might already be dating Taemin."
...............yea but stilll.....................wait, Onew oppa is trustable...and yea...it might take long for her to find out...and Jin ae also seems quite close to him...
(author's note: I haven't written any you and Onew parts but pretend you guys talk to each other and are good friends HOHHOHO, but yea, I haven't written much cos there's too many P.O.V's and too many things happening at once :3 oh sorry, I just ruined the story atmosphere 0:)
"AND," Tiffany continued, "By the time it would be like: IN YOUR FACE SOO JIN, YOU TTTTTTT. By no means am I only helping Jin ae just to get revenge but you know, does Soo jin ever fail getting a guy? hmm?"
...................no she doesn't......she never does. she's got so many sides but all guys fall for her innocence and her beauty...then they're the ones who end up getting hurt.
"yea........well..........arraso," I replied as Tiffany pushed me before I knew anything.... and there I was, lying right in front of Onew oppa's feet like a retarded starfish.
"Eun mi?" he spoke as he looked at me who looked like a retard. I immediately shot up into the air standing on two feet again.
"eh..." I shyly smiled, "ehehehee.....................Onew Oppa....."
"Is there something you need?" he replied smiling at me and staring at me in the eyes. I felt a stick emerging from the bush poking me on the ankle and it hurt sooo much.
"I-uh....uhmmm....eh...arghh -burp-" I replied. I BURPED......MUST'VE BEEN THE KIMCHI I HAD FOR BREAKFAST. I watched as Onew oppa tried his hardest to not laugh and smiled at me instead. I bet he would've went: LOLOLOL HAHAHAHHSHAHHAHA -rolls on floor laughing-
".....ermmm," I continued and the stick was now poking me harder than ever, "YAH."
"yah?" Onew oppa replied as the stick continued to make its way and it felt like it was piercing through my flesh. OMO, I'm going to kill Tiffany sooner or later. She's making me do everything and attacking me like THISSSS.
"uhmmm.." I started, as he slightly tilted his head in confusion, "......well.....let me tell you this but please don't tell anyone."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOBODY'S P.O.V
So that's when everything started.
A girl who was scared to fall in love was......in love. She had no confidence, nothing.
A guy who was determined to build trust between the girl and him but was scared to confess.
The outsiders, the people not supposed to be involved...were...involved.
The secrets that drift around the atmosphere in which you were clueless about.
Secrets about you between Jessica and Jonghyun.
Secrets about you between Eun mi, Tiffany and Onew.
Who knows does your sister hold a secret about you with Key?
Those people all wanting to help you and not knowing what the best actually meant.
Those people all hiding things and were scared to reveal them.
But those people can't take all the blame, they only wanted to help.
There was also a girl who hid the most secrets to herself, the girl who had many sides.
The girl who was pretty, beautiful and innocent but is that the true her?
The girl was a liar and pretended to know nothing when she...indeed knew everything and all she wants to do is to hurt.
She knows nothing but to hurt.
So with all these secrets floating and drifting around in the atmosphere.......what will it bring?
Benefits?
or
Tragedy?
Will your love become a tragedy? Will you be able to have the things you want?
Can the secrets kept by the other people be kept well?
And what problems will it bring just for one to hide the secret without letting a little part of it slip out?
What problems will you face?
You not knowing anything or having anything is going to take on
Her, the one who knowing everything and having everything
let me tell you this but please don't tell anyone
is like a sentence meaning another secret is about to be born.
But Taemin knows pretty much the same as you do.
He's clueless just like you.
However, is it better for you to stay clueless....or not?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUR P.O.V
I didn't know why I felt alone in the ice cream shop when Hongki was clearly here. I felt scared to approach him for some reason....but I was the one who hurt him......
And honestly........coming to work here all day was just an excuse for myself to talk to him. That way, I won't be able to avoid him and I'll be able to take the chance and talk to him...no matter how mad he is.
I watched as Hongki came out of the room and he was surprised to see me.....but then immediately turned away and walked towards the exit. He had his hand on the handle of the door and was about to leave.
"..Lee Hongki..." I called as he stopped and let go of the handle. He didn't turn to face me though....
I walked towards him and watched as he kept refusing to look at me. All I could feel was more and more guilt creeping up inside me making me feel hopeless and useless.
"........Lee Hongki..." I whispered and gently placed my hand on his shoulder and pat it. It took so much effort to reach that high to be honest..."mianhae..........I didn't mean to do any of that.....I was just feeling a bit bad that day..... and you are a good friend....don't feel like a waste of space please.....you are important to Aunni and I."
He turned to face me. His face was still so pretty and I couldn't see anger in his eyes. His eyes looked gentle and calm but......how was I suppose to know if my analyzing skills were correct?
"Jin ae-ah," he replied calmly, which made me feel uneasy, "you don't have to....appologizeeeeee. Why did you appologizee Jin ae-ahhhh, It's was fineeeeeeeeee I already forgot about everything!!!"
His calm tone developed into that squealy and annoying voice but if he didn't do that...he wouldn't be Lee Hongki....but it seemed like he was hiding away what he was truly feeling. Only minutes ago he was still acting cold.......but...that's the Hongki I knew ever since I was little. The Lee Hongki that was sensative and got angry then after that...he would forget about everything and he never expected appologies. He would act happy again and pretend nothing had happened......
"Jin ae-ah!" he continued as he started to pinch my cheeks, "Let's make ice cream together!"
He smiled as he immediately rushed to the kitchen at the speed of light and came back with a cute apron.
"Let's make more ice cream full of sarang!" he squealed as he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the kitchen where we made our ice cream. When I looked at our hands I saw our rings. Best and forever. Right now I felt like I was very special to someone and belonged there. Although Hongki wasn't the person I had feelings for...I felt so warm and loved. This feeling was the best and I hope it would last forever.
If I was with Sunbae right now it would be better than best right?
"Jin ae-ah," Hongki called, "yahh, don't daydreaaaaammmm we need to make the ice cream taste good. HURRY UP AND POUR ALL YOUR SARANG INTO MAKING ITTTTT or else the customers won't love ussssssssssssss."
He was still so cute and immature but I don't know why I felt guilty.....It feels like I take advantage of the fact he's so naive, innocent and sensative and hurt him all the time. Since when have I even cared about him?
"JIN AE-ahhhh," he squealed again, "don't dayyy dreaaaaaaaammmmm ice cream needs more sarang than just that!"
I smiled at him. I've never felt like this for a long time. Although I had friends at school, I felt extra special because Hongki was the one who cared the most and placed Aunni and I first in his priorities.
"gomawo," I silently said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TAEMIN'S P.O.V
Jin ae wasn't here today...........she's wasn't here...........................................................................
I FEEL LONELYYY.
Sighh, it's cold today so I thought she'd appear as the sun that will warm up my day. Even though it's after school.......THE WHOLE DAY was boring and I felt so sad when I couldn't see her face and when her presence wasn't around.
"Taeminnie," Jonghyun-hyung smirked, "What brings you to feeling so down?"
...........I don't know why I always have this feeling that he can see right through me. The thought is getting quite scary now....and I know I've mentioned it like 923749234 times but.........yea......it is scary...
"....n--noo," I answered, "I'm not feeling down at all..."
But......he is a good friend after all...sometimes I feel bad because I always lie to him...welll.....what bad things will happen to me if I told Jonghyun-hyung anyway? But........why can't I find the strength to tell anyone ㅠ_ㅠ
"uhm.....excuse me?" a sweet voice said shyly. I turned around and saw.....................................Soo jin? The one who scarred Jin ae's heart and hurt so many people? THE ONE WITH THE MASK?
.................but she looks......................innocent.
"an-annyeonghaseyo," I replied politely and she kept looking at me with those innocent eyes...........
"can i please borrow your phone?" she continued, "I forgot to bring mine and I don't know how to get home...I need to call Umma..."
She wants to use my cellphone? Why is she asking me when there's so many other people around.....and how do I know if she was only asking me on purpose to see what my number was...........
"I'll let you borrow it," Jonghyun hyung interupted as he got out his phone and handed it to her. I watched as her face looked slightly disappointed but then she hid it with a smile.
"Kamsahamnida," she thanked as she walked a few metres and called.
"Jonghyun-hyung," I whispered, ".......gomawo."
"Taeminnie," he whispered back, "You know I just wanted to save you from her......she doens't seem true...."
She doesn't seem true? Is that suppose to make sense? Or did hyung mean she looked like she was faking o.O
Well........Jonghyun-hyung always understood me except.......it just makes me even guilty for hiding things...AHHH.
Jin ae-ahh, come back to save meee D:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH UPDATE. I finally found motivation thanx to my commenters and subscribers to keep on going~~~~~I don't have much views but....MEH, this story is only for me to express~~ HOHOHO.
SOOOO, the story doesn't really sound you-ish it's because I don't know how to write expressive feelings using the term 'you' ..sorry but it's still youuuu........>_>
AND, OMGOMGOGMOMGOGMO SOO JIN, AHHHHHHH RAGE. lee hongki's so cute. HOHOHOHO :3
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@VeniceTaeminnie
Thanks!!!!! hohoho, thanx for swearing at Soo jin because I hate her. I love rage comments. HOHO. Thanx for loving me, I LOVE YOU TOO, and I'm sorry if I haven't commented on your stories T~T forgive me~~ lalala. but KEEP WRITING!
@Nikkilovesshinee
HOHOHO, yes, YOU ARE FREE TO DESTROY HER, AND CARVE THE WORD ON HER FOREHEAD THEN POUR TOXIC ACIDS IN HER CUTS OR SOMETHING. I'll come with you, LET'S DESTORY HER TOGETHER. Thanx for being a commenter by the way ;D
@Shiningstarss
HOHOHOHHO, took you long to figure out that is a that needs a non-ty life. HOHOHOHO
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