Yonghwa entered his room then looked at the clock. It was already past midnight in London. And he exhaled deeply because of that as he sat on the couch near him, felt too tired to reach his own bed.

It was so fortunate that he just entered spring term when he just needed supervision for his Dissertation work. So, he could more focus on Royal duties to help his father.

His parents felt so sorry towards him actually. They didn’t say it directly but the way they looked at him, told him everything. They knew that it was his responsibility since beginning and couldn’t do anything. And he understood his role very well too. Help his father meant his responsibility too.

His father condition was getting better. It made him felt so relieved. But he still needed to support him. And his schedule this whole week was consuming his energy so much. He couldn’t remember when the last time he made a phone call with Seohyun.

He then opened his phone to check his girlfriend messages. As he expected, there were three messages from her. He smiled bitterly after that. He felt so sorry to her. He barely contacted her and sometimes forgot to reply her messages but she still could understand it.

I miss her so much…Yonghwa said inwardly after he typed a reply message to her.

He really wanted see her. And it was around 10 AM di Seoul too. How he really wanted to call her. But she was so busy too since last year. And he really felt so tired that night. He would end up fall asleep in the middle of their talk like he always did lately. So he decided to not call her in the end.

He remembered that his schedule for tomorrow wouldn’t be too tight. Secretary Lee already told him about this before. So he typed again a message to Seohyun and told her that he had free time after lunch tomorrow.

After that, he walked slowly towards his bed and dropped his body on it. He fell asleep with that position a few minutes later.

As what Secretary had said to him, his schedule ended right before lunch time that day. He decided to go back to his mansion right away, after he made sure that there weren’t any schedules for him that day.

He chose to eat kimbaps that were prepared by Jonghyun this morning. Mr Ham suggested him to have a lunch in the restaurant outside, but Yonghwa refused it. He just wanted to meet Seohyun as soon as he could.

He then waited because Seohyun must be just finished her dinner with her family at that time, and started to search some random articles and news on his phone. He tried to search with Seohyun’s name as a keyword, just for fun. But he was surprised to saw an article with her name on it. And it was a recent article for about three days ago.

He then read that article, felt so curious at first. But it was about Seohyun interaction with Lu Han, a China’s young businessman. He was okay with the title, but he suddenly felt so uneasy when he saw their picture. Seohyun was laughing in that picture. He didn’t remember when the last time he saw her wide smile like that. And his heart hurt. He felt so insecure again.

Did she remember me when she smiled like that? Yonghwa asked inwardly as his heart clenched tightly.

He was always scared with the thought she might change her heart. He admitted it that he couldn’t contact her often. And if he remembered how hard his effort to make her accept his feeling, he felt so scared. She didn’t want to involve with him in the first place. It was him who insisted to be close with her. He was just lucky that she finally loved him back too.

But what if she gives up with their situation?

Seohyun never complained with their situation actually. It was always her who tried to keep their communication well. It was him who didn’t do much these days. But he really tried his best too. It was just he needed to focus on his role as Crown Prince first. And his responsibility as a Crown Prince was always his priority.

He knew that he was being childish at that time. But he couldn’t help it. He felt so envy, but he didn’t know whom he envied. Did he envy to Joohyun who still could enjoy the party eventhough she was so busy and while he was struggling alone between his Royal duties and his study? Or did he envy to Lu Han who could make Joohyun smiled widely like that? Or did he envy to something else that he didn’t even know?

“Yong~” as always she would called him with full of excitement everytime they meet in Skyp*.

Yonghwa then just smiled sadly at her and they looked at each other in silence after that.

It took for about a minute when he saw her teary eyes.

“Bogoshipo, Hyun~” he finally said.

“I miss you more, Yong~” she replied as she wiped her tears in the corner of her eye.

Do you…?

But Yonghwa then tried to get rid that thought and asked her day in the end.

She explained him about her days as she coughed lightly sometimes. It seemed like she caught a cold.

“Gwenchana?” Yonghwa felt so worried to see her like that. But she smiled brightly to him after that and ensured him that she was okay. She said that just dried and would be okay after she drank a glass of water.

But Yonghwa silenced too much, and Seohyun would always catch everything in his mind too.

“Wae? Something happen again?” she asked worriedly in the end.

“No,” he denied it simply but she frowned by his answer.

“Just tell me, Yong. What happen?” she insisted as she coughed again.

Yonghwa just silenced again. He really wanted to tell her his feeling. But he didn’t know how to tell her. He knew it would be so bad if he didn’t make clear all of this but he already felt so upset. Eventhough he didn’t know the main reason why he felt so upset. There were so many things in his mind at that time.

And he suddenly felt so tired.

Seohyun silenced too for a few seconds, before she suddenly took a deep breath. Yonghwa knew that Seohyun would know it in the end. She always could guess what was in his thought.

“If you’re being like this because of that article, I’m so disappointed, Yong.” She started calmly.

And Yonghwa didn’t reply her right away. It took several seconds before he said. “But why did I know about this matter from article?”

“If you reread again all my messages, I already told you in my message three days ago.” She replied, still in a calm tone.

Okay, it’s all my fault…he concluded bitterly.

“Mian~ Hyun~” he apologized right away because of that. But still, it didn’t clear all his negative feelings.

“Ani~ I know you’re busy. It’s my fault to not make sure you know about that article from me directly.” she said, but they silenced again after that.

It was the first time for them to have Skyp* date again after few weeks they couldn’t meet, but they turned so awkward because of his jealousy. Yonghwa felt so guilty because of that. But then again, there too many things in his mind at that time, he couldn’t help it.

“Then who is he?” Yonghwa tried to change the topic.

And Seohyun then started to tell him about Lu Han. She told him everything, include the fact that he had liked her before. The way she talked, he knew that she tried to sound that it really didn’t matter for her anymore. And Yonghwa felt so grateful towards her because of that.

He acted so childish at that time, and yet she still tried to be so patient towards him.

“…he helped me to not feel so lonely that night. I’m so grateful.” She ended her explanation in a cheerful tone.

“Did you think about me at that night?” he couldn’t help to ask that childish question in the end.

Seohyun exhaled in annoyance. “How could I not think about you, when there were too many couples around me at that night?”

“…and yet you looked so happy in that picture…” Yonghwa knew that he just ignited the flames of war. But he really wanted to tell her what he really felt at that time.

Seohyun looked so offended by his indirect accusation. But she exhaled deeply before said, “I think I already told you that he helped me to not feel so lonely that night. I smiled in that picture, but do you know what I felt at that night?”

Yonghwa didn’t reply her, but he knew that his expression was so upset until he couldn’t hide it anymore.

“Do you know what I think when I talked with Lu Han that night?” Seohyun started to become impatient.

“Lu Han might be so gentle and sweet, but I ended up comparing him with you, because no one could beat you in my eyes, and I missed you even more because of that.” she added in high tone.

“…and do you know what I feel everytime I see so many couples around me? I…” Seohyun was about to tell him her feeling further when suddenly Yonghwa clucked his tongue until Seohyun stopped what she was going to say abruptly.

“Stop whining, Joohyun-ahh…” he really felt so annoyed.

“…m – mwo?” Seohyun looked so shocked by Yonghwa’s statement.

“Stop whining when it’s your want since the beginning.” He knew that it would make their problem bigger, but he just couldn’t hold himself anymore. “It’s you who want to keep this relationship a secret…”

But when Yonghwa saw Seohyun’s expression after he said that, he stopped his sentence abruptly. She was crying soundlessly and it made him regretted with what he had said.

And then, she disappeared from his monitor.

Seohyun just ended the call.

***

Seohyun coughed again for nth that day not long after she went out of her bathroom. She then sneezed three times and suddenly felt so dizzy again.

She caught a cold and she felt so dizzy since morning. But SAM was in preparation of NADCAP Audit for the Non Destructive Test (NDT) process. She needed to make sure SAM was ready for that audit next week. That was why she forced herself to still work even if she was sick.

She was so busy since last year. She started questioning her true feeling towards the Prince because of that too. It was true that she loved him. But the distance between them was sometimes making her felt so insecure. But she still tried her best to block all her negative feelings until that time.

It was so hard for her actually. Especially when her fear just took over her mind and made her suddenly wanted to give up. She felt so lonely. But she loved him and she knew that he loved her too. So in the end, she tried to be more positive as much as she could.

She tried maintaining their communication even if they couldn’t call each other more often these past months. She sent him messages at least three times a day and tried to understand it if he didn’t even reply her back.

But her worries were coming back when suddenly her article with Lu Han appeared in some portal news. There was nothing suspicious actually. The article just wrote about their sweet interaction with the fact they were friends since High School. No much comments about her article too. But still, she felt worried.

She told him in her message right away. But Yonghwa didn