CHAPTER 20

He shots open his eyes and the first thing he sees is the white ceiling above him. He tries to move his eyes everywhere and they seem as if had not opened such a long time. Also, he can feel this strange thing wrapped around his head and cover his mouth as well.

He is confused.

Where is him? is he just woke up from sleeping in his bedroom? 

Then, it should be normal. but not really, when his ears caught a familiar voice that he missed so much. Someone who should not leave him alone all by himself after the other one. His eyebrows wrinkle deeply and trying to catch a voice but all he can hear now is yelling that calling for a doctor. For a few seconds, around him turns dimmed from the light and someone's face come into his sight, checking his eyes before muttering to the nurse around him;

"He is finally awake"

....

Yongguk tries to clench his fist beside him but failed for tenth time just now. His fingers still feel numb and so do his body. he just can't understand now and no one even tried to explain to him yet even his mom who now are going somewhere, leaving him alone in this gloomy room for a bit while. the thing on his mouth earlier had been removed away that he assumed as respirator, and they moved him into another room after he woke up and found him completely stable.

The click sound of the door distracted him as he stops trying to clench his fist now, glancing at the person for a second before returning into what he was doing a while ago. The person stands awkwardly by the door before bravely himself approaching the hospital bed and accepting the fact Yongguk is ignoring him now.

"Err." He stumble on his word as he stopped five feet from Yongguk's bed.

Of course, Yongguk didn't surprised when he see him here, but what make him wondering. He seems miserable and a guilty show up obviously on his old face that couldn't him to meet with Yongguk's eyes. 

"How are you now?" He said finally, making sound like.. he is a real father for him.

Nice try, Yongguk has an argue to say that out loud.

"I guess you're getting better now" he adds, slowly losing his confident when his step son really deaf himself and didn't answer him. He rubs his sweat palms on his light brown pants and trying to look for a right word to make conversation, which Yongguk really wish he should not. He doesn't need that.

"Your mom is going to be here soon" He tries again as laugh a bit to erase the tense atmosphere around the room.

"You're hiding something" Yongguk mutters all of sudden, not actual response to his words and he seem stated to him not question him. That's the first words come out from his mouth since he woke up and it's sound deeply hoarse that crack his tone as well.

He has been curious why his step father act like this way, as if trying to run away from him.

Yongguk relaxes his upper body and lean onto the pillow. He is not fully lay down on the bed as the head of the bed had been lifted up a bit to make him sit up comfortably, then he looks in his direction, study his step father and waiting for his answer. Yongguk guess he was right since he didn't deny against his words just now.

Mr kang looks down in uneasy, watching under the bed instead. He takes some breath before opening his mouth, "Look, Yongguk"

"I think I screwed up in many things" He blunts.

"Yes you are" Yongguk casually said, don't care with the man's heart.

"What had happened to you, it's all my fault" He continued. Yongguk start to frown this time. For a second, he seem left out from this topic.

"What do you mean? how the hell would be your fault? I don't get it." his eyes flick hard. He truly can't get it what he is trying to tell him. How could be his fault when he didn't meet his step father at all before he got hit by a car?

"It's really my fault and I'm sorry for being such a flake that day" He still in blaming himself as his eyes meeting Yongguk's gaze eventually which is actually look puzzled right now.

Yongguk can feel his head throbbing a bit as his mind mess right now with this ridiculous things. He tries to calm himself before he speak up again, changing his voice.

"Listen, you are really confusing me. what I want you to know now, this is nothing to do with you" He tried to make it easy and clear.

He sure hates him somehow but he never went too far like being a cruel kid to blame everything on him. He still has brain.

"I bet you really don't remember, Yongguk" He breathe out. 

"I do remember" He grits his teeth under his breath. He does remember especially the time he met with Yurin. So, why would he not, though?

"Now drop this topic. I don't want to listen anymore" He adds, running his gaze away outside the closed window.

Hearing that, making Mr. Kang obey as letting out a weak sigh. He can't push Yongguk either. He just woke up from coma and just come back to this world again.

"Tell me" Yongguk said bruptly after let the silence took over them almost five minutes.

"How long I've been in coma?" 

Mr kang flinched on his spot when he was on deep thought a while ago before lifting his head looking at Yongguk, who is having his head straight. "About six months" He mutters afterward.

Yongguk tries not to show his shocked face in front of him, never expecting he took that long been in the hospital bed. He presses his lips into line and nothing come out from his mouth anymore.

....

It's has been a week since he woke up from coma and he's still being hospitalized due to the physical therapy he needed. The doctor said, his body still in weak condition and because of laying too long in bed without moving make him unable to do anything for daily life anymore such as, walking, holding anything in his fingers and so on.

While waiting he is recover fully, his mom is the one who's helping him in everything. He's such a reborn baby, being feed by his mom. also, changing his clothes with helping from his mom either.

Yongguk discovered his mom had moved to Seoul, and will live with him after this. That's all he needed and he doesn't really care about his step father whether to live with them or by himself, it's all in his hand that Yongguk doesn't want to mind at all. He's done and never want to pick fight with him.

Due too boring being in his room, he asked one of the nurses to bring him around, wanting take some air instead stay up in the room all the day. Today his schedule empty with physical therapy and give him opportunity to rest.

The nurse pushes the wheelchair he is sitting through the long hall that almost full with patients and doctors, then let the silence took over them when Yongguk never tried to talk with the nurse. He is being quiet all the time. Just like he is being himself. Everyone know.

Yongguk's eyes watch every person that walk past by him and for a second. His body tense up immediately when he spots someone in front of him, walking toward him. The figure he is wondering about since he woke up from coma. He thought he had lost her but he's wrong. She is having same clothes as his. patient uniforms but the colours are different. His is blue one while her is a pink one and she is pushing the pack of her IV along her together.

Yongguk mentions his nurse to stop pushing while having his eyes at the walking girl. She is not awake with his presence yet but when she is about to walk past him, his hand automatic catch her wrist which make the girl jump in surprised and stop walking.

"Mee Yurin" He called,

The girl looks down at their hands and frown before her eyes meet his.

"Err.. I'm not Mee Yurin" She said awkwardly, trying pulling her hand back from the male.

"What?" He asked in annoyance. Typical Yurin, liking to make a joke.

"I'm Yani, Kang Yani" She introduced.

His expression changed dark and staring at her really hard, telling her to stop with his eyes. The girl cringe instantly and know he is serious.

"Look," She said, pulling her hand from him before continue "I'm not the girl you're just calling. I'm really Yani and I'm serious about it, plus I don't know you" She tried the best to convince the male as well.

"Or do you want to see my ID? I can show you my real name" She adds again which having the boy shut his mouth, in doubt. His head suddenly feel hurt and he touch them with his hand. The nurse behind him quickly panic but Yongguk raised up his hand to the nurse. "I'm fine" and she nods.

He drops his hand to his side and found her looking outside the closed window beside them.

"It's the first snow" She mutters almost in whispers and he heard them as his eyes also glued on the snow that falling down through the glass window.

It's beautiful.

For a second, his eyes run to the girl back and notice something. Her hair is fine and healthy not like the last time he saw Yurin's and the colour of her hair is black not brown. It's such confusing him, but her face and voice actually same. He still think she is lying to him or he really doesn't have an idea about it.

Yani sense she is being staring by someone as she turns around and her eyes automatic meet with the male's. She doesn't know how long he is looking at her but she found something strange flick in her heart.

Yongguk notices her face turn deeper shade of red and instantly something hit his mind.

Yurin never blush on him, even how long he was staring at her.

Now he is starting to believe her. She is not Yurin. He slowly nods, mostly to himself before running his gaze away as mention his nurse to push him again which leaving the girl behind in confusion.

Then, where is Yurin? No one knows.

Something's not right. And he think it's related about his coma.

...

Everything make sense now, there's no Mee Yurin. She is not exist. She is only the person exist in his mind.

No. he is not hallucination. He is not crazy either. She is happened to appear in his dream or rather to say during the period of him been in coma. That's sound insane but it's really a reality.

Yongguk almost lost his mind when he finally found out about all of this. it started when he asked back to his step father about the detail why he was blaming himself and he got the answer.

Before he got hit by a car, he had an ague with him until lead Mr kang to slapped Yongguk on the cheek. At the time, they were at the school and because of his anger to what had his step father done to him, he ran out from the school and an accident happened afterward then made him coma for about six months.

It's such a hard thing to believe even now Yongguk still in wordless state yet he couldn't do anything.

The first snow in November. It's mean, this is almost the end of the years. He remember all the dates he was with Yurin to be true the same dates he was in coma. The time she was working the project with him actually the time he was fighting for his life in the hospital bed. They went at the same time, he was alive out there but the reality he was sleeping assisted by respirator.

It's unbelievable.

"Are you ready now?" The person who are going to give him therapy snap his thought.

He looks at the young male in front of him before nodding his head. Mr Jung helps him up by pulling his arm then lead him to the metal railing for walking. Yongguk have succeed with his hands and they work pretty good now after practicing for almost two weeks. He at least can eat by himself or changing his clothes without asking for help anymore. Now, only left with his legs. He can't walk yet and still use the wheelchair.

Mr Jung said, he can't force himself and need to do it with smooth and soft. Luckily Yongguk is not the type impatient one or not thing would be more difficult for both of them. For a few minutes, Mr Jung left him alone by himself, who are struggling in the railing, trying to steps one by one ahead. The grip on the metal is getting strong when his knuckle turn white and his vein appears a bit. He doesn't want to give up yet as he keeps stepping forward.

He tries, one step, two steps.. bukk!

He fell on his "!"

Then, someone run into his direction before squatting in front of him "Are you okay?"

He lifts up his face and to be greeted by the girl he mistook before. The girl is holding his shoulder now as he roughly push them away. Yani flinches as she bites on her lower lip.

"What are you doing here?" He ask coldly.

"Err.. I just-"

"Are you stalking me, aren't you?" he cuts her off, as snort loudly.

"No, it's not like I'm stalking you, but," She trailed off, when he is staring at her straight in the eyes. "I've been watching you.. doing all this therapy" she tries to explain, avoid his stare. her heart racing for no reason.

"Why? are you care with me?" He asks again with his deep voice. She is about to open but shut it back when he adds another question again "Or.. are you actually curious about me?"

Yani remain silent, playing those question in her mind over and over. The 'curious' word make her hurt a bit. No she hates it.

Yani breath in for a second, before opening again, meeting his eyes "I do care about you.."

At the moment the door of the room slide open before a doctor appear by the door. Yani turns her head, looking at the doctor with her narrow eyes.

"Because.. I don't want to be like those people, who are only curious about my illness" She said it in sadness voice. 

For a moment, she feels a grip on her arm. Yani turns to Yongguk and found he is the one hold her. She is clueless but then he mutters something. "Help me get up"

She found hope through him as a smile spread on her lips "Okay"

...

Rewind- Yongguk P.O.V (Back to where Yurin came to Yongguk's house for the first time in the Chapter 11 & 12) 

I've made a stupid game on her but I didn't think it was a bad idea too. However, I felt a bit worried since I asked her to take a difficult way to come here, she was not come, right? Or she really would come?. She somehow hard to read or I really couldn't read her. but I shrugged it off as continuing draw our project on the white paper. it seemed more hard than I thought and at the end I took a break for a few minutes as I took an emty papar and start to write some words.

It was my hobby. I rather write down what I feel then speak up. Plus, I don't really have friends to share anything.

A knock on my door surprised me, I looked at the time on my phone.

"She did come" I muttered to myself, and about to get up from the floor but after noticing what I have wrote on the paper make me sit down back, I quickly teared off the end of the words. I shouldn't wrote them then the rest shoved them to my personal note book.

I got up then took my sweater of the couch before heading to the door. I open the door before she knock for a second time and smile widely. I have to control myself but it's happened without I aware. So, I would be like:

"Wow Daebak!, Yurin did it, you actually came!"

And I regretted afterward when my smile dropped upon she said I was 'fake'

It was not fake, at least I tried. I've been buried my smile down since my father passed away and now I tried to make it and they turned out to be like that and I couldn't blame her either. I have an argue to make a sigh in front of her as I leaned my body to the frame door and play along, then observing her secretly;

She had this cute T-shirt on her tiny body and pair of jeans, it was simple and kinda like my style. She was not put too much effort on her face either, just a light make up and her hair just let it down on her shoulders.

Then I noticed she muttered something that I couldn't catch them when my eyes went behind her. There was someone, stood not far away from my house, and I know him.

He was not a good guy, kind of gangster, I guess. He seemed doesn't have life, keeps lingering this block with a bottle of Alcohol and bother people, especially a girl and I wish he did nothing to Yurin. So, I yelled at him and give him a warning.

And here this girl, didn't have any idea about it that I wanted to knock her head now. How could she would be this careless? and I relieved he didn't do anything yet since she didn't know he was exist.

For a second, she asked me about what I have said to the guy. about she was mine. So I just make it simple and clear. I was so grateful I was good in making expression.

We were quiet for a moment before she abruptly sneak in into my house which surprised me a bit.

This girl, she was brave!

I quickly block her and prevent her to go any further then tried to scare her but it's turn out to be something else when she was shaking so bad. I hate this, I hate that I regret made this game. I sholdn't let her come here in the first place. This place is not good for her, like I told her before, it was dangerous. I excatly didn't expect she made it.

I secretly make a sigh then walked to the kitchen, trying to find something for us to drink. I left her alone while digging into my refrigerator, nothing much in there. There was only empty bottles left as I grabbed them then tossed it to the trash bin. I approached the carbinat then take 2 packs of coffee, I poured down the hot water into the mugs before putting the coffee powder as I stir them calmly. 

For a second, I turned around and try to peek at the girl and I swear I saw she was holding my note book "Did I tell her to stay away from my stuff, didn't I? this girl" I muttered.

Somehow she was too stubborn that I couldn't figure out how come I fe.. hmm..

It makes me think I've did a good jod.

I let go of a spoon to the mug then quickly shoved my hand inside my pocket sweater and found something in there.

It was a small piece of paper I've been teared off earlier as I let them out. it crumpled as well when I open it back and revealed the words. The last words that I bet she was curious about now.

I like her

THE END

Thank you for reading to the end.

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