A few knocks and her heart started to beat wildly. The wind was blowing furiously, even if the skies looked clear. Another knock, and she sat upright, looking around her room.  The serene image confused her, it was dark, but the room was partially illuminated by the light of the moon. It seemed there was a full moon that night. Yet another knock, and she kicked the sheets off her body and stood up from bed. She walked towards the window, where the knocks came, and opened them. The cold breeze entered her room, and she embraced herself as she peered down.

“!” She screamed as she fell back, her hand close to her vanity. A silhouette entered her room, and her heart galloped faster as she saw the shadow of what it looked like a man dusting his clothes.

“It was about time, I was freezing out there.” He muttered as he closed the window, rubbing his palms and blowing air from his mouth. Chaerin let out a sigh and straightened herself, letting go of a bobby pin she was holding.

“My God, you almost killed me.” She said, putting a hand over her chest and turning the lamp on. “What are you even doing here this late, Jonghyun?” He lifted his head and smiled sheepishly, fixing his messy hair.

“I told you I would come, didn’t I?” He said. She crooked her head, then nodded, remembering her plead before.

“I didn’t thought you meant it.” She said, now trying to cover her body, after all, her cleavage was showing her s.

“I’m a man of my word, so here I am.” He said as he extended his arms. She smiled and nodded, looking at the door. The lights were still off, there was no one awake, or so she thought.

“Thanks.” She muttered. Jonghyun looked at his wrist and frowned.

“Listen, if we go now, we might be able to go past the guards and out of here.” He said. She frowned.

“They got guards now?”

“All around the house.” Jonghyun said, fixing his jacket. “Precautions, your uncle said.”

“Figures.” She muttered and walked towards her closet. “I’ll just change my clothes real quick.”

“Wear something comfortable.” Jonghyun whispered a little too loud. She rolled her eyes and entered her walk-in closet, closing its door.

The door opened slightly, and she peered through the gap before walking out of the closet. Jonghyun was there, sitting at her bed while playing with his phone. She took a deep breath and walked out, straightening her black blouse. Jonghyun lifted his head and smiled, staring at her. “I couldn’t find something more fitting, my wound’s pretty visible.”

“It’s alright, it’s perfect. We’re not going clubbing or anything.” He said as he stood up. “You look pretty.” She chuckled and looked down. It was the very first time she dressed like this, all normal with blue jeans, a loose black blouse and a pair of sneakers. He nodded, swallowing hard and handing her a jacket that was hanging on a chair. “It’s cold.”

“Thanks.” She said, grabbing the black leathered jacket and putting it on. She lifted her long hair out of the jacket and fixed it on her body.

“You ready?” He said and she nodded. Jonghyun clapped his hands slightly and went over the window, opening it wide. “Can you make it?” He asked her, and she chuckled, already getting out of it.

“Piece of cake.” Chaerin said, holding herself on the frame of the window. She looked to the side and noticed a big pipe. Without giving it seconds thoughts, she jumped and grabbed it, holding her body tight on it. Her wound hurt, but she ignored it as she started to descend. She didn’t looked up to check if Jonghyun was following her, the slight noise he made told her he was right behind her.

With a low grunt, Chaerin let herself go once she was close to the ground. She landed on her feet, panting slightly. She moved to the side, and after her, Jonghyun landed, straightening himself up and looking to the front, his face in a frown. “Up ahead.” He said, then looked at her. “Are you alright?”

“Never better.” She lied. He nodded and signaled her to the guard’s post.

“See, there’s no one. Let’s just run for it.” Jonghyun said. Chaerin chuckled and nodded. He ran first, and she followed him. Her heart galloped and her breathing came out uneven as she tried to catch up with him, but, as she thought, he was too fast. She simply followed his trail, finally reaching the gates.

She stopped abruptly right next to them, looking around for anybody close. “We jump?” She said panting, and Jonghyun nodded.

“Come.” He said, crouching next to her. Chaerin nodded and when he intertwined his fingers with his palms up, she put a foot on top of it and jumped with his help. She grabbed the top of the gates and impulse her body towards the other side.

By this moment, her wound was pulsating furiously, but she ignored it. She let go of the gates and fell on the other side, landing on her feet. For a moment, she lost balance, but Jonghyun had already jumped easily, holding her in place. “You alright?” He said, his breathing a bit more even than hers.

“I’m fine.” She said, then gulped. “Tell me you got a car.” He smirked and nodded, gesturing his side with his head.

“It’s right there.” He told her. She chuckled and nodded once she saw the car. He took out his keys and walked towards it, Chaerin following him suit. He unlocked it, and led her to the passenger’s side, opening the door for her. She chuckled and got in. When he closed her door, she flinched, lifting her blouse a bit to check on her wound. As she expected, the gauze was stained with blood. She rolled her eyes as she lowered her blouse, carefully putting her hand on top of it, making pressure to stop the bleeding.

Jonghyun got into the car, smiling at her as she smiled back at him, still holding her abdomen. “So, where are we going?” She said. He started the engine and smirked.

“There’s this place, really nice, where they sell ice-cream and have a nice view. We’re going there.”

“So basically, you’re taking me on a date at 4 in the morning?” She said and he chuckled.

“I wouldn’t call it a date, more like a get together.” He said. Chaerin chuckled and nodded, still making pressure on her abdomen. It was pulsating, making it all levels of painful, but she endured it, she must endure it in order to have one moment of calmness. Whatever the risk of being out of her prison, she would take it.

His eyes were fixed on the window all morning, the sun was rising, the birds singing and the nurses making their morning rounds. All feelings of high left his body as he continuously looked outside the window, his mind blank, his face a poker face. His finger tapping slowly but constantly on the bedside table as he longed for a fix. The last reports he received from Kiko made him uneasy, his mind working, yet being all blank as he tried to come up with a conclusion. What he needed to do, what he should do, what he must do, everything seemed unimportant as he continued to tap the table with his good hand. His left hand was more than useless, he had no movement on his fingers, and even if he knew why, it still pissed him off.

Faint knocks on the door woke him from his trance, and he looked at it, not mustering any word. The door opened, and Choi Jonghoon walked in. “Good morning, Jiyong.” He said. Jiyong simply raised an eyebrow, letting him know he acknowledge his presence. “I see you didn’t slept last night, would you want me to prescribe you something to sleep?”

“I can’t sleep in here.” Jiyong simply said.

“And why is that?” Dr. Choi said as he sat down on bed. Jiyong slowly shifted his posture on the chair, not taking his eyes off Jonghoon. He decided to ignore the question, and simply lift his left hand, showing it to the doctor.

“When will I be able to move this?” He hissed. Jonghoon took a deep breath and looked at the hand.

“The wound was deep Jiyong, it will need some surgeries, and maybe even a miracle to make it work again.” Jonghoon said. “The tendons are broken, I tried to sew them again, but it doesn’t works like that. It’ll need therapy, it’ll need treatment.”

“So basically you’re saying you as a doctor?” Jiyong said, making Jonghoon frown.

“No, I’m saying you ed up, and now you are paying the price.”

“Oh, the irony.” Jiyong scoffed, lowering his hand. “My intentions were to not be able to move anymore. I tried to kill myself, and you ed up by not allowing me to.”

“I see.” Jonghoon said, putting his hands together. “And about that, would you like to explain why?”

“Do I need to?” Jiyong hissed.

“Well, I am a doctor, my duty is to heal your body, then send you to therapy, to heal your mind.” Jonghoon explained. Jiyong scoffed again, looking at his right hand.

“Jonghoon, stop the bull. We both know who we are and what we do. I don’t need any therapy now.” Jiyong said, his anger rising. “What I need is to get out of here, now.”

“And do what? Fill your body with more drugs? Put another knife to your wrist? Put a bullet on your head?” Jiyong pouted while nodding.

“Those are all considerations.” Jiyong responded.

“Why? Why waste your life like that?”

“My life has been wasted since I was born, why would it matter now?” Jiyong said, again, looking at the window.

“So that’s it? You rather drown in your misery than make a difference?” Jonghoon said. The conversation had turned personal, and Jiyong wasn’t comfortable with that, but for some reason, it made him feel better, and he couldn’t stop it but continue to answer his questions.

“Make a difference? Like you Choi Jonghoon? Become what, a doctor? A lawyer? Heck, become a politician? You know those aren’t possibilities for me, not all of us have choices like you did.” Jiyong said, now turning to look at Jonghoon. “Jonghoon, I am more than glad your father thought you deserved more than this, that you deserved a life of your own, but I didn’t had that, I didn’t had a choice. I didn’t had a father that wanted better for me. We’re different, Choi Jonghoon, and that won’t change just because I tried to kill myself.”

“Jiyong…”

“This is not the first time my life has been on the line. Hell, I think I’ve been more dead than alive. What’s the difference now? What would this world lose if Kwon Jiyong died today? I’m a murderer, I’m the scum of the world, why would it mattered if I made a difference? It doesn’t matters what I do now, nothing will change the fact that I am evil, that I am a murderer that has no regrets of taking lives.” He said, and without realizing it, his face was wet with tears. “Jonghoon, you live by saving lives, you go to bed every night knowing you did the right thing, and that’s great, but I don’t. I live by taking lives, and I go to bed every three to four nights with a gun under my pillow, not being able to sleep because every moment is crucial. I can’t sleep because I need to make sure no one gets into my house and kills my family,” And he stopped, his breathing uneven as his tears started to fall more constantly now. “I needed to make sure she was safe…”

Jonghoon didn’t said another word as Jiyong broke down in front of him. Jiyong, the Young Dragon, the most talked gangster of the underground, breaking down in front of an enemy. But Jonghoon didn’t said anything, he just stayed there, looking at Jiyong while he tried to compose himself. Jiyong’s hands were trembling, and he just looked down as he bit his lips, holding in his sobs. “There will be no difference if this world loses Kwon Jiyong, because I was already lost.” He muttered.

“Whatever happened to you that made you like this?” Jonghoon muttered. Jiyong chuckled, cleaning his tears with his right hand.

“Have you ever heard the Latino saying, ‘Every pig gets its Christmas’?” Jiyong said, but Jonghoon simply shook his head no. “Well, this is my Christmas.”

“It’s not so merry.” Jonghoon said. Jiyong chuckled again and shrugged.

“This is what I am harvesting.” He said, now letting out a sigh. “This is what I deserve.”

“No Jiyong, no one deserved anything like this, and most certainly, no one deserves death as a punishment.” Jonghoon said. Jiyong looked at him without any expression. “Death is a salvation, not a punishment. If you didn’t died now, it means you still have some businesses to do in this world. It means you still have an opportunity to make things right. Jiyong, no one deserves to be this miserably in life, no matter what they do, because deep inside, we are all doing the things we think are right.

Look at me, yes, I am a doctor, and I try to save people, but not all of them make it. That doesn’t makes me a bad person, it makes me human. The weight of the world it’s not on our shoulders Kwon Jiyong, why should we try to lift it up when it’s not up to us to carry it?” Jiyong looked at him without blinking. His words carving deep inside his soul. His convictions made him falter, and for the first time, Jiyong listened to someone else’s words and held them dearly. For the first them, he heard someone telling him what he needed to listen, rather than what he wanted to listen to.

“And what do I do now, Choi Jonghoon? What should I do now?” Jiyong asked.

“You should stand up straight and keep on going. I can’t tell you to change paths, because I know better than that. I know how deep you’re in, hell, you’re the leader of the Dragons, probably the most wanted man in the whole country, but I can tell you to not stand down. My family might be in danger because of this, but I am honestly telling you not to stand down. If you have to die, do so fighting, not like this. Die in battle, Kwon Jiyong, die like a man.” Jonghoon said, his eyes boring into Jiyong’s. Jiyong nodded, softly biting his lips as he smiled.

“Thanks, Choi Jonghoon.” Jiyong said. Jonghoon smiled and nodded, standing up and hitting Jiyong’s shoulders.

“Being a doctor in this side of the world means keeping all kinds of secrets. Jiyong, I promise you no one will know you’re here. You can sleep in peace, because you’re safe in my hospital.” Jonghoon said as he walked out. Jiyong chuckled, then widened his eyes, looking at Jonghoon.

“About that, Jonghoon, I need to ask you something.” Jiyong quickly said as he stood up. Jonghoon turned around, smiling at him as he nodded.

“Whatever you need.”

“A couple of hours ago, when I got here, Kim Jonghyun walked into this room, then, I swear I saw him walking out with Lee Chaerin. Please, tell me I am not hallucinating and that what I saw was true.”

“You want me to tell you that you weren’t hallucinating when you were, highly intoxicated?” Jonghoon said, and Jiyong quickly shook his head.

“I’ve been a heavy user of drugs for as long as I can remember, I barely hallucinate when I am using them. What I want you tell me is that if Lee Chaerin was admitted at this hospital as of last night?”

Gily's Notes: I am sorry. This is NOT dead.

I am mourning, a month ago my little baby girl Tekila (a 2 year old chihuahua) died of unknown causes. This destroyed me. I know what most might think, but my dogs are my life. I couldn't properly put thoughts in words because I had no desire to do so anymore. I constantly thought of erasing all my stories and shut down this for good. I still consider it every now and then, but truth is, I can relate so much with Jiyong's pain that this is helping me spill everything out. I know my baby girl is in a better place, but for me, her better place was warm in my arms, I miss her. I am trying to find the will to write, so forgive me if this or if this is too short. I am slowly coming back. 

I will finish this, at least this one, I want to end, I don't want to be like other people that leave things unfinished, I am not like that. I am sorry for those who say that this will be another story unfinished, those who have been with me for as long as I've been around know I NEVER leave any story unfinished. It's just that this past few months have been horrible, this last one being the worst of all. I have a life outside of AFF, even if it a little, crappy and messy life, it's a life. So forgive me, and I hope I still have some readers left, I still have things to offer! 

Happy Reading ~

Gily ♥