The night was terribly cold, my skin was starting to feel as if it would fall off from my bones anytime soon. Shivering, I walked into Jonghyun’s apartment.

Let me admit something, I had thought he would be less flamboyant than Jiyong respecting his home sweet home. I was wrong. This apartment was as expensive as Jiyong’s. But I was starting to get used to this luxury, and it was a bad thing.

“Let me show you the room.” Jonghyun said, handing me a jacket he had lying on the back of a chair. I quickly put it on, rubbing my palms together. He led me towards the metal stairs, my heels making annoying noises as I tried to keep myself from shivering so hard I would fall. It was too cold, clearly, winter was at the corner.

“T-This is a n-nice place.” I said, my teeth quivering from the cold. Jonghyun chuckled, stopping in front of a white door.

“I don’t have female clothes, but I can hand you a pair of mine, if that’s ok.” He said, and I quickly nodded, chuckling a bit as I remembered the times I spent in Jiyong’s house. He would always leave me clean, fresh clothes for me to wear and feel comfortable.

It gave a warm feeling of compassion inside of me. I would have given everything in this world to find that warmth again, with him, yet is this complete stranger the one being able to give it to me now. I smiled, a wide smile that made my eyes shut and my cheeks hurt.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Jonghyun said, and I accidentally let slip a laugh, and he smiled.

“I’m sorry, and thank you.” I said and he nodded, slightly touching my shoulder.

“There’s a bathroom inside of the room, you can shower if you want. I’ll just leave the clothes on the bed.” He said, walking towards another room. I nodded, entering and leaving the door opened. I gazed at the room in awe. If this was the guest room, I didn’t wanted to imagine how amazing the master room would look like.

The walls were painted in white, and as all penthouses, there was a glass wall at the end, showing the night sky of Seoul. I took a deep breath, walking slowly towards the bathroom. The door was opened, and I could already gaze at it with my mouth slightly open. I walked in, hoping to get rid of all the mess of that night with hot water.

As I took out my clothes, I noticed – with a slight hint of anger – that the gauzes covering my wound were slightly bloody. “” I tried to remove the gauzes, grimacing at the slight pain it provoked me. The wound, as it would be after a long day without cleaning it, was red, a hint of infection.

“, !” I hissed as I removed the remaining of my clothes and entered the shower. Once inside, I let the water run through my body, softly cleaning the wound with my bare hands. I won’t lie, the pain was slightly excruciating, but nothing that couldn’t be resisted.

“Chaerin, I will – Oh my God, I’m sorry!” I heard Jonghyun say. I frowned, turning around. I had forgotten to close the door to the bathroom and the shower only had crystals around it.

“I’m so sorry!” I said, quickly covering my . Jonghyun stopped and stared at me, slowly turning red.

“You’re wound’s infected.” He said, still looking at me. I turned around, my back facing him.

“I know, please get out.” I said, and he quickly nodded, storming out of the room. He closed the door, then opened it again.

“I left the clothes on bed.” He said, then quickly closed the door. I rolled my eyes, taking deep breaths as I continued to clean my wound.

And I was embarrassed. It wasn’t the first time I was in front of a random guy, but this time, I felt like dying of embarrassment. But Jiyong’s the last guy that ever saw you .

After a while of pure peace and quiet, I decided to finally get out of the room. The clothes Jonghyun gave me were quite comfortable, a pair of black sweatpants and a white shirt. I wore them, slightly hugging my body as I walked towards the living room. In there, Jonghyun was sitting on his sofa, deep in thought as he looked at his gun.

As I descended the stairs, he slowly lifted his head to see me. A weak smile was plastered on his face as I reached the bottom. “How are you feeling?” He asked softly. I bowed my head a slight bit as I moved to sit on a chair in front of him.

“Slightly better.” I said. He nodded, setting the gun down. He hadn’t changed his clothes, the only thing missing was his boots. His face looked exhausted as he let out sigh, slumping down on the sofa.

“I received a call.” He said. I quickly nodded, intertwining my hands as I straightened on the chair.

“What happened?”

“Jiyong left the hospital.” He said, crossing his legs. “He’s back on game.”

“Back on game? What does that means?” I asked, half aware that my question sounded stupid, and yet, little old Jonghyun didn’t seemed to mind as he carefully answered my question.

“Our little Taemin managed to seriously injure one of his friends, and he isn’t happy about it.” I remained silent as the words sank in.

“Does that means –”

“Yes, it means he will kill Taemin as soon as he can.” I held in a gasp as I stood up, shaking my head no.

“He can’t.” I murmured.

“He can, and he will. Chaerin, I don’t know what you think this is, but it is clearly not a fairytale. People die when you do stupid things, and this is stupid.” Jonghyun said, his voice sounding firm. I shook my head.

“I will not allow this.” I said as I moved towards his dining room, where a stack of papers were.

“And what exactly will you do?” Jonghyun said as he stood up and walked next to me. I shrugged, grabbing a piece of paper.

“Do you have a pen?”

“What for?”

“To write, of course.” I said, extending a hand towards him.

“There’s one next to the fridge.” He said. I quickly nodded and went towards the fridge, grabbing the pain and sitting down on the counter island. “What are you going to do? Write love letters?”

“I am going to meet up with him and talk this through.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that?”

“I don’t know, alright! I don’t know.” I said as I took deep breaths, looking at the paper. “I just hope this works.”

“Whatever you do it better works, Chaerin, or we will be attending another funeral.” Jonghyun said before he stormed towards the stairs. I nodded, still looking at the paper in front of me. The only thing I could think of was pouring all my feelings in there, as if I was writing a song, with him.

The room was quiet, way too quiet for my own sake. I tried to slap my hands on the table, tried to play with a pencil, tried even to play some music, but nothing could take out this loneliness that was driving me to the edge of insanity. Five hours I have been sitting in the studio, looking at the walls, looking at the floor, at the ceiling and at the recording booth. Nothing had happened in five hours, no news, no attacks, nothing.

The walls seemed to be moving, and I was starting to feel the anxiety of not being able to consume anything.

I needed something, something to calm my nerves, something to get my mind working, or not working at all. I needed something to take me away, from this pain on my body, from this weakness of my bones, from this decaying flesh.

“Where the hell is it?” I murmured as I started to rummage through the drawers of the desk, yet I couldn’t find anything. “I ing know I put it here.”

“It’s not there.” A voice said at the back of the studio. I quickly lifted my head, frowning slightly when I saw Youngbae resting his back on the wall. “I took them all out.” Again, I glared at him.

The most reasonable thing to do for someone like me was to start a fight, throw a tantrum and even share a few fists. But what came out of my mouth was completely unexpected, even for me. 

“Oh.” I said, slouching down on my chair. “Oh.”

“You can’t take any more of those drugs, Ji.” He said as he sat down at the sofa. I nodded, still looking at the drawers, almost feeling like crying from the emptiness his words gave me. I really needed them, like food to my stomach, like sleep to my brain. I needed my fix.

“I think I’ll be going home, now.” I said as I slowly stood up. My hands were trembling, my mouth quivering, and for a moment, I felt a devastating sob creep through my chest, yet nothing showed.

“There’s nothing at your home, either.” Youngbae said as I walked past him. I chuckled, nodding slightly as I grabbed the doorknob.

“I figured as much.”

“I need you with your mind clear, Ji.” Youngbae stood up, walking towards me. I nodded, still feeling off, a bit distant.

“Right.” I managed to say, still holding the doorknob, but not being able to open the door.

“There’s something else.” He said. I finally let go of the doorknob and looked at him. He looked down, taking out a piece of paper from his jacket. I looked at the paper, then at Youngbae, carefully studying his movements. “This came in a few minutes ago.”

“And what is it?” I said as he handed it to me. Youngbae shrugged, putting his hands into his pockets.

“Didn’t bothered in opening it. It says it’s for you.” I frowned, looking at the paper on my hand. It only said my name on top, but the handwriting made my heart stop.

“Who delivered it?” I said. Youngbae shrugged, biting his lower lip as he let out a sigh.

“I just know we are lacking on security, or the person knows too well this company.” He said. I nodded, already knowing who the person was.

“It’s not a security issue.” I muttered as I walked towards my chair, trying to open the letter with my right hand. It was difficult, but after a few tries, I managed to open it. Again, I felt my heart constricting inside of my chest as I saw the handwriting on it.

Jiyong, I know by now you must hate me terribly. I would hate myself too if I were you. I know this is crazy, and that I’m probably lunatic by taking my chances of doing this, but I can’t think of anything else to do. I will pour my heart in this letter, and I hope that doing so in my own handwriting would be enough to prove my honesty.

The only thing that remains in my power to do is be honest with you. I can’t ask for anything more than a little bit of your time to read this.

I know, I hurt you. Maybe trying to do the best thing, I did the worst. I tried to make peace between our families, and yet, all I’ve caused is an infernal war. We are both losing in here, and I can’t drown in more regret than I am right now.

Jiyong, I didn’t know any of this. I grew up thinking I was normal, that my mother used to love jewelry more than my father. I grew up knowing my father loved me, and that I was his only daughter that he protected with all his might. I learned to fight, to defend myself and to heal others. He instructed me I needed to do something with my life, and I did. I became a nurse, and I am proud of that. But everything’s changed now, isn’t it? It doesn’t matters now, because he was actually training me to be just like you.

I don’t know if I’m grateful, or if I’m regretful of this, but it has happened. I know meeting you meant the death of him, or we met by the death of him. I don’t know if you intended to get closer to me in order to find my family’s weakness. I don’t know if you truly loved me as I love you. And that’s why I did what I did, and I’m sorry.

But the truth is, I would do it all again. I would fall in love with you again, I would audition at your company and meet you. And if it meant saving you, I would gladly give my life. I don’t know if you think like this, or that if you even care at all. Not knowing any of this is driving me to the edge of insanity. But Jiyong, we really need to stop. You’re not doing anything to yourself by killing my family. They have nothing to do with what I did.

I am suffering because of this. Because the people you know as your enemies are the ones I grew up with. The men you hate so much, are the men I love with all my heart, and I can’t keep up with this. I am willing to do whatever needs to be done in order to stop this massacre. I can’t see any more blood spilled because of my own selfish reasons. I can’t.

I know you have a heart, and I know you can be that warm and sweet man once again. I know there’s more to you that the killer that lives within your flesh. Jiyong, I know who you are, I know who can be. Please, if you share this same feelings, if you really did loved me, please meet me tonight at the place you first took me, at that place where everything started. I will be waiting for you, my love, I will be waiting eagerly.

With love

-Chaerin

My hands trembled as a tear fell from my eye. I set the letter down, taking deep breaths as I carefully folded it.

“Jiyong?” Youngbae said at my back, but I just nodded, biting my lip as I caressed the paper that once was in her hands.

She was right, as much as I hated to admit it, she was right. But after all this time, I couldn’t possibly back down. I had already throw myself in the pit, there was no way back. “She’s asking for a treaty.” I muttered.

“And what are you going to do?” Youngbae said. I just shrugged as I cleaned the stray tears that fell from my eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“What if it’s a trap?” Youngbae reasoned, but I shook my head no. These words were far too deep, too honest to be a trap. She wouldn’t play that side.

“What time is it?” I muttered.

“It’s 10am now.” Youngbae said. I nodded, slowly standing up from my chair. “You’re not serious about this, are you?”

“No.” I said as I walked towards the door. “But it’s worth a try, right?”

Gily's Notes: Wow, this chapter isn't the best one there, isn't it?

Lol, sorry. Sort of a writer's block. 

Maybe I'll experiment with different POV's from now on. 

Sorry for this late update. 

Happy Reading ~

Gily ♥