“Turn on the IV pump, we need to stabilize her.”

“Heart rate is decreasing quickly, we are going to lose her.”

“The blood lost was massive, she’ll need a transfusion.”

“Is she going to be alright?!”

“We still have a pulse, start CPR.”

“Doctor, that’s been three minutes since the last shot, should I give her another dose?”

“Give her the Epinephrine and start ventilation, I am not losing her today.”

“Bring me the RT, tell them I need a ventilator over here!”

“Stop the CPR, there’s pulse.”

“Is she alive?! Is she breathing?!”

“She’s stable, blood pressure is good, pulse is going steady, she might be able to make it.”

“Let us hope.”

Pain, unbearable pain, the limbs burning as if a fiery flame was onto them, slowly scarring the flesh. Unable to scream, to move, to breath, all the pain flowed to the same place, her center. In her mind, her screams were almost deafening, yet no one seemed to listen to her.

“Chaerin, can you hear me?”

“That was dangerous, why did you do it?”

“You might be wondering this, but he’s alive. Rumor has it he’s being in a pretty bad shape, but he’s alive, and hidden from us.”

“I will never forgive myself, for allowing this.”

“You lied to me. There’s always a way for things, why do this to yourself?”

Burden. Agony. Regret. Not sure what felt the worst, not even sure what she truly felt. Was it sadness? Was it worry? She could no longer feel anything other than the agonizing pain, any other emotion was confusing, bizarre.

“I should tell him you’re alive, but…”

“Taemin, we need to take her away! It’s war, they declared it!”

“She almost died for him, and he wants to come barging in?!”

“To him, she’s dead. Never let him know she made it.”

“Kikwang, don’t do this. He’ll stop if he knows.”

“Taemin! Has her state weakened you? He’ll kill without mercy, we need to protect our family and whoever we can. He won’t stop.”

And a war was brewing, all because of her. It was burden, what she felt, it was pain, it was a burning sensation of never dying, never going, and never waking. Was she really at fault?

I dreamed you died on me. Don’t ever die on me.

His voice seemed like a dream, far and distant, making her question herself. Has she ever been with him? Has she ever felt him before? Has she ever loved him? It was almost impossible to remember, almost impossible to imagine a better place. Too much suffering, too much pain has she endured, to even be unsure of what was real and what was not.

But the pain, that was as real as she was breathing, shortly, fast, but breathing. Everyday spent, another pain would come, be it from her arm, from her chest, but surely, one was coming. She was sick of it, and as much as she tried, she couldn’t wake from that deep slumber. And trying, she found out she could make an effort to breathe, and maybe, just maybe, they’ll realize she was still there.

“What’s that noise?” A man said. And she felt like jumping from joy. It was Taemin, and she could feel his hand leaving hers as he stood up. She tried breathing again, and again, the machines would make beeping sounds. “Nurse! Something’s going on in here!” Taemin yelled as the machines beeped like crazy. But that didn’t stopped her, she continued to breath as hard and fast as she could. And in her efforts, she felt her eyes moving, and her hands felt like a thousand needles where being buried in her flesh. She felt something more than the agonizing pain, she felt her body, slowly and heavily returning to her, or she returning to her body.

“She’s having spontaneous breaths.” The nurse said as she took a look at Chaerin. To her surprise, Chaerin opened her eyes, and the nurse gasped. “She’s awake. How can she be awake?”

“She’s awake? Chaerin?!” Taemin said, almost jumping on top of her. Chaerin looked at him weakly, almost crying at his face. As if years had walked upon him, his blonde hair had black roots, his eyes had dark circles, his cheekbones were protruding, and his skin looked pale white.

“I’ll call the doctor.” The nurse said as Taemin caressed Chaerin’s face and hair.

“You’re awake.” He muttered, a tear almost falling from his face. Chaerin nodded, hurting as the tube moved with her. She flinched, and Taemin freaked, widening his eyes as he looked around her. “What’s hurting?” He said, and she lifted her hand, touching the tube protruding from her face. “Oh, you’re intubated my dear. You’ve been out for a while now.” She crooked her head slightly, and, as if he could read her thoughts, he let out a sigh. “Three months now.” Chaerin widened her eyes, almost gasping, if it wasn’t for the tube, she knew she would scream.

Three months? That was too much, too long, time flew by, and she wasted it on a bed, almost dying with a tube protruding from . “Now, now, try to relax.” Taemin said as he looked at a monitor on top of the bed. She heard a fast beeping, it must be her heat rate increasing, she was shocked, after all. “Don’t go letting your heart stop again, I won’t resist it one more time.” He muttered as he caressed her hair.

A few moments later, the door opened, and a man with a white coat entered, accompanied by a few nurses. “Lee Chaerin, if my eyes don’t deceive me, you’re wide awake.” The man said as he stopped next to her bed. She looked at him, then at Taemin, who smiled at the man and nodded.

“She’s awake, finally.” Taemin said, still caressing her hair. The doctor smiled and nodded, taking out his stethoscope and hearing her chest.

“Well, everything seems fine. Great ventilation, strong heartbeat. I’d say she’s as good as new. Let’s start weaning her out of the ventilator.” The doctor said and turned around to look at the nurse. “Lower the rate and the peep, she’ll be out of this by this afternoon, hopefully.”

“Is she ok to be out of the ventilator? So soon?” Taemin said and the doctor shrugged.

“We will see. If she tolerates it, she’ll be out by herself.” The doctor said, but Chaerin was thinking something else. She moved uncomfortably as she slightly touched her face. There was a tape holding the tube to , and she knew by her studies that in order to take it out, she needed to deflate the cuff, then remove it.

She looked at the people in the room, who, slowly, were coming out of it, leaving Taemin and the doctor in the room with her. “If she doesn’t?” Taemin said, making the doctor smile.

“She’s strong, strong enough to wake up by herself and start breathing. She’ll make it.” The doctor said, taking a quick look at Chaerin, who was looking at them as if nothing was going on. “Come with me, I need you to sign some papers.” The doctor told Taemin as he patted his shoulder.

“Sure.” Taemin said, walking out with the doctor. Chaerin felt like crying for that opportunity, and, without second thoughts, she grabbed the little line of the cuff and broke it, then took out the tape, pulling out the tube along with it. She started to hear the alarms, but a series of coughs made her unable to move, and momentarily, to breath.

Gasping, she continued to cough and spit out the secretions that filled . She knew the procedure, but as they say, better said than done. She continued to cough, feeling a burning sensation along and her chest. The alarms continued to beep, and people came rushing in. She lifted her head, and the nurses went over her, holding her shoulders. “DOCTOR! SHE EXTUBATED HERSELF!”

“I’m- I’m ok.” Chaerin said hoarsely, and the nurse widened her eyes.

“You shouldn’t be talking Chaerin.” The nurse said as she grabbed a napkin and put it towards . “Spit everything out.” And she did. The door opened harshly, and Taemin walked in, followed by the doctor, who rushed next to her, stethoscope in hand as he glared at her.

“When I meant soon, I didn’t meant this soon, young lady.”

“What have you done Chaerin?!” Taemin said as he rushed to her side, but she simply shook her head, lifting her hand and touching Taemin’s.

“I am alright.” She said between coughs.

“Brink her a Ventury Mask, at 40% and somebody please bring me some Epinephrine for the inflammation. This woman is alright.” The doctor said.

“I won’t need the V.Mask, doctor.” She said, and he glared.

“Shut up and do as I say, alright?” He said and walked out, leaving Chaerin glaring at him. She took a quick look at Taemin, who was helping the nurse open the package for the oxygen mask.

“He’s cool,” He said without looking at her. “Family friend.” Chaerin narrowed her eyes, looking at Taemin’s hands. He was wearing a cast on his right hand and his fingers looked scarred. She crooked her head as the Nurse put the oxygen mask on her. As soon as she felt the air entering , she felt slightly alleviated from the burning in .

“What happened to you?” She asked hoarsely as the nurse wrote some things on a paper. Taemin looked at her blankly, his hands on the bed, his body weight on one leg, which made her look down. One of his legs, the left one, wasn’t being pressed on the floor and the boot wasn’t laced. He let down a sigh and smiled crookedly, looking down at his right arm.

“It’s been rough.” He simply said, moving to the side. She noticed he was slightly limping, even if it wasn’t that much, she noticed the weird movement of his body. She knew him like she knew herself.

“Care to fill me in?” She said, but Taemin kept looking at the nurse, who was fixing something on Chaerin’s arm.

“As soon as we’re alone.” Taemin said, his tone deadly, even if his face looked calm. The nurse looked at him, then at Chaerin, widening her eyes and smiling shyly.

“I’ll be gone now, I’m sorry.” She said as she bowed, walking out. Chaerin let out a sigh, another cough and rested her back on bed.

“We’re alone.” She said, her voice sounding strained. Taemin also rested his back on his chair, straightening his left leg, flinching a bit.

“It’s hell out there, Chaerin.” He simply said. She widened her eyes, her hands moving slightly to the side.

“J-Jiyong?” She said, gulping hard. “Is he alright?” Taemin chuckled humorless, moving his head to the side, looking at the window.

“Terribly fine, I can tell.” Taemin said, still looking at the window. “He’s the one who brought Hell to Earth.”

“W-What?”

“Pointless, merciless killings, the territories are on high alert, no one has seen him directly, he hasn’t even agreed on our invitations to make a treaty. He want’s blood, he’s insane. Now, he’s declared us a war.” Taemin explained. Chaerin closed her eyes, almost forgetting how to breathe as he told her what Jiyong had become. A monster, she had created a monster.

“I have to stop him.” She muttered, her eyes still closed.

“You can’t. No one can.” Taemin whispered. She opened her eyes, hoping to feel a tear falling from them, but nothing.

“Does he know I am alive at least?” She said, but Taemin simply chuckled.

“Guess.” He said. She felt her heart rate increasing, her blood boiling inside her veins as she heard him.

“Why haven’t you told him? What are you waiting for?” She tried to yell, but her voice was too strained, too painful to muster more than a whisper.

“I don’t even know what he’ll do if he finds out you’re alive.” Taemin whispered. “You literally killed yourself in front of him, don’t you think he’ll hold that grudge against you?” Her breathing stopped, her mind stopped, everything stopped as he said that. Of course, he would hold that against her. Of course, Kwon Jiyong would hate her forever for what she did, he must loath her now, she hates herself for that, too. After all, what sane person would hit someone’s core so easily, and survive to talk about it?

“He will hate me.” She said, looking down at her feet. “He won’t ever forgive me, us.”

“Exactly.” Taemin said, slowly standing up. “We must hide you. He must believe you’re dead.”

“But at the end, he’ll have to die, right?” She said, now feeling the lump on . “In the end, I will be the one breathing and he’ll be the one being buried.”

“That’s a possibility.”

“You do know I won’t allow you, right?” She said. Taemin smirked, putting a hand over hers.

“Let’s us hope it doesn’t gets to that.”

The room was dark, partially lit with a dim light as he buttoned his shirt. His hands, careful and expert, moved softly on top of the silk of the black fabric, buttoning it until his chest was completely hidden from sight. A sigh escaped his lips as he traced his fingers through his newly dyed black hair. His eyes were decorated with black circles, his nose was still slightly red from the inhalation and his fingers still had the smell of cigarettes.

Taking another deep breath, he grabbed his perfume and sprayed it all over his body. Anything to hide the smell of his depression. He tried to smile, tried to look as fierce and strong as he usually did, but nothing seemed to work. It was as if the faucet was still open, and water kept dripping out from it. He was tired, without any desire to even breathe, yet, he was force to get dressed. Tracing his fingers through his hair again, he let out a sigh, then a grunt, slowly ing his shirt. “The I’m going.” He muttered.

He was about to take it out, when his door opened and Youngbae walked in. Jiyong glared at him as he walked towards his bed, taking Jiyong’s jacket and throwing it towards Jiyong’s direction. “Don’t even think about it.” Youngbae hissed. “You’re coming.”

“I actually remembered something I have to do.” Jiyong said, now with the shirt completely ed, showing his bare chest and tattoos. Youngbae glared at him, walking slowly towards him.

“Where?” He hissed.

“The… company?” Jiyong said, now smiling shyly. Youngbae rolled his eyes and went over him, grabbing his shirt and buttoning it up.

“Yeah, sure.” He said, expertly buttoning the shirt for him. Jiyong looked down, feeling weird out at the comfort of that.

“This feels weird.” Jiyong muttered. Youngbae chuckled as he finished buttoning Jiyong’s shirt.

“It’s not the first time I’ve dressed you.” He said, then moved to grab the jacket. “And I’m certain it won’t be the last.”

“Please, let me keep my dignity, as a man.” Jiyong said as he grabbed his jacket.

“More like a macho.” Youngbae muttered, walking out. “Five minutes Ji, don’t make me come and carry you out.” Jiyong rolled his eyes as Youngbae closed the door, letting out another breath. He was done complaining, so he simply went over his bed, grabbed his boots and put them on. Jacket or no jacket, he was going to use boots. For all he knew, and for all he did, he never knew when he might need to take a run, or a fight.

As he finished lacing the boots, he traced yet again his fingers through his hair and stood up, cleaning his nose and coughing a bit. He looked at his drawers, considering for a long moment if he should take his merchandise with him, or simply enjoy the clean alcohol at the bar. “JIYONG!” Youngbae screamed from outside, making him roll his eyes. He put his jacket on and walked out of the room without any other hesitation.

Youngbae’s eyes were on him as he walked down the stairs, and again, the weirdness took upon him. It was like a scene of a man waiting for his prom date, a man waiting for his bride, and also, a man waiting to kill someone. Jiyong cleared his throat and took out a cigarette, trying to ease the awkward atmosphere. “Ready?” Youngbae said, and Jiyong nodded, lighting the cigarette.

“Unfortunately.”

“You’re going to have fun, stop being a .”

“Right, so much fun.” Jiyong muttered. In his mind, he could picture himself sitting at the lounge of the club, drinking without measures, having women dancing around him, probably kissing a few. He could tell he was going to take one home, probably have some fun then ditch her the morning after. That used to be his idea of fun, but now, it seemed like a scene completely rehearsed, a performance that only he could pull off with such perfection, it would seem like he was truly having fun. But in the end, he would be left alone in his house, taking drugs and contemplating his solace. Fun, indeed.

Gily's Notes: It's not medically possible for a human to recover that quickly, but hey, it's a Fanfiction, anything can happen, right?

My readers, those who know OH so well, babies, you were right, I got no heart to kill our Chae, so, here it is. Also, I want to say that it is medically possible for someone to survive a wound like hers. Probably will explain more about it in the future. For now, rejoice in this misery I have brought! lol!

Happy Reading ~

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If you like my stories, WHY HAVEN'T YOU UPVOTED THEM?!!?!?!?! [insert devilish stare here]

Gily ♥