Time stopped, smoke and lights were blinding their way as they hurriedly walked towards the back door. Everything felt like in a distance, a dream, something foreign. Chaerin looked around, at the people falling lifeless to the floor once the men encounter them. Her eyes kept wide open as Jiyong dragged her out of the place, continuing shouting incoherent words at her. She couldn’t quite process it, the words "you’re my priority" and "I won’t lose you again" kept coming out of his mouth. Yet, she couldn’t understand them.

He kept his grip tight on her waist, her hair slowly falling lose, her chest heaving as she was made to run faster than her legs allowed her. “Are you with me?!” Jiyong yelled as they stopped. She looked at him, blinking several times to get back to him.

“Y-Yes.” She muttered, and he quickly grabbed the hand that was holding her gun, lifting it high. She gulped as he put his left, unmoving hand on her face, slightly caressing it. She could see it brought him discomfort, the slight movements of his fingers, but he kept moving them as Youngbae covered them.

“You need to leave, now.” He said softly. She blinked again, crooking her head a slight bit. “We’re outnumbered, and you need to be kept safe. Just go through the back door and into the street. Keep walking and don’t look back. Don’t point out your gun if you’re not going to pull the trigger. I will find you Chaerin, I will find you.” He said hurriedly.

“NO!” She yelled as she realized what he was doing. “I won’t leave you, not now!” He quickly put his hand on her neck and pulled her closer, kissing her forehead.

“Just go.” He said, slightly pushing her.

“No–”

“GO! GO NOW!” He yelled, pushing her harder. She stumbled back, looking at him as he moved back towards the crowd full of men carrying heavy weapons alongside Youngbae. Both of them moving with a perfect synchronization, almost like a perfectly rehearsed dance. Youngbae never left Jiyong’s left, and Jiyong never missed a target.

“LEAVE!” He yelled once more as he looked back. Chaerin nodded, running towards the back of the club.

Panting, out of breath and sweating, she reached the back alley, where a cold breeze attacked her exposed skin. It was late, but the streets were still crowded. She walked hurriedly, embracing herself as she slowly hid the gun where Jiyong taught her.

Chaerin made a turn, gasping as the cold almost reached her soul. It made her shiver, her breath coming out in a soft, white smoke. She continued walking nonetheless, hearing the distant sounds of sirens coming closer. She looked back, only to see several police cars abruptly halting to a stop close to the club. She fastened her pace, wanting to disappear among the busy streets of Seoul night.

As she rubbed her hands together, she stopped to look at a coffee shop that was still open, even at this late hour. She thought about it for a while, then shrugged, knowing there was nowhere to go at this time until Jiyong found her. She had walked a lot, and her feet were starting to feel sore thanks to her pumps. Chaerin slowly entered the coffee shop, the strong smell of coffee entering her nostrils, making her feel warm inside.

“Oh dear, welcome.” An old lady said as she rushed Chaerin to walk in. “It’s freezing out there, how can you be walking outside, dressed like that?”

“I-I forgot my coat.” Chaerin lied as the old lady walked her towards an empty table.

“Goodness gracious, quite the distracted young lady, aren’t you? Sit, I’ll bring you coffee to warm your bones.” The lady said, quickly leaving her to think.

Chaerin rubbed her palms again, blowing air in them, trying to warm them. A little bit longer outside, she swore she would get frostbites all over.

She continued to look outside, praying with all her strength for Jiyong to walk towards her, but he didn’t. The hours went by, and already three cups of coffee were chug down, and still, there was a no show from him. The lady slowly walked towards her, holding a plate with food on it. She slowly sat in front of Chaerin, handing her the plate of food.

“My dear, are you alright?” The old lady said. Chaerin chuckled, letting out a sigh as she looked at the food.

“I’m fine.” She said, holding a fork and quickly digging from the plate. She was starving, she hadn’t realized how much until she took the first bite, and her stomach growled painfully.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” The old lady asked her. Chaerin stopped eating, looking up at the old lady that was looking at her with worried eyes. Chaerin set the fork down and cleared .

“I’m sorry, am I being a nuisance?” She said, and the old lady quickly widened her eyes, putting a hand over her chest.

“Oh God, no. Of course not. I am worried about you dear child. You seem stress, and I can tell you haven’t eaten. You look young, does your parents know where you are?” The old lady asked, concerned. Chaerin shook her head as a scoff escape her lips.

“I don’t have any parents.” She said. The old lady crooked her head, her eyes turned sad.

“I’m so sorry dear.” She said. Chaerin quickly shrugged, clearing .

“That’s alright.” She said. “I will be leaving soon, anyways. I don’t have any money with me, ma’am. But I want to pay you for your kindness.” The old lady shook her head as she extended her hand, touching hers.

“It’s alright, my dear. You don’t have to pay anything.” She said. Chaerin smiled as the old lady caressed her hand.

In that moment, the door opened, the bells sounding as someone walked in. Chaerin lifted her head, her eyes widening in both fear and relief as she saw a panting Jiyong walk in, his skin and clothes full of blood, his face contouring in pain and relief as he finally saw her. He seemed to be stressed, but watching her apparently made him breath normally. “Chaerin.” He said, walking towards her.

Chaerin stood up, forgetting about the old lady as she launched herself on Jiyong’s bloody arms, hugging him tight. She ignored the fact that everyone was looking at them. Ignore the fact that Jiyong was still holding his gun, slowly putting it on his pants as he embraced her waist. She ignored the fact that he was limping, and that his face was full of injures, so where his arms.

“I thought I lost you.” She said, tears falling from her eyes as he slowly pushed her away. He grabbed her face in both his hands, pecking her lips longingly. “I thought I would never see you again.” He shook his head, caressing her face with his thumbs.

“I’m here now.” He muttered, holding her neck and pulling her towards his chest, embracing her once again. She held his waist, inhaling the mixed scent of blood, sweat, gun powder, his cologne and the faint trace of smoke and rum.

“Where are the others?” She asked as he once again pulled her away from the embrace. He looked around, some people trying to ignore him as he frowned. The old, kind lady walked towards them, her face perplexed.

“Not here, we need to go.” He said, his hand slowly going down to hold her hand. Chaerin nodded, but stopped when the old lady slowly stepped back.

“Wait.” She said, looking at the lady and smiling, walking towards her. “I don’t know your name.” She said, bowing slightly in front of the lady.

“Soojin.” The lady said, smiling at her. “Jung Soojin.” Chaerin nodded, bowing her head.

“I’m Chaerin. You’re too kind. I will pay you back all the kindness, I promise.” She said, but Soojin shook her head no, holding her hands.

“Just be safe, dear child. I can see you have a thought life to live. Just be safe.” Soojin said. Chaerin nodded.

“Chaerin.” Jiyong said again, and Chaerin looked at him, nodding. He was extending his hand towards her. “Let’s go.” And they both left.

At the street in front of the shop, a car was waiting, honking as they both walked out. “Let’s go.” Jiyong said, crossing the streets as he held Chaerin's hand strongly.

They reached the car, and Jiyong opened the door, looking at both sides as Chaerin got in. Youngbae was the one driving, and at the back sat Jonghyun. The three of them looked the same, battered, exhausted, bloody and sweaty. Jonghyun’s face lightened as he saw Chaerin, quickly making space for her to sit beside him.

“Jonghyun.” She said and he quickly hugged her, one hand on her neck, the other on her waist. Chaerin gave the hug back, completely happy her friend was alive, injured, but alive.

When he let her go, the atmosphere turned tense. She thought it would be because Jiyong’s jealousy, but he too was wearing a sad face. “What’s wrong?” She said quickly, putting a hand over Jiyong’s shoulder. “What happened?”

“Chaerin, we tried…” Jonghyun began, touching her hand. She shook her head as Youngbae started driving.

“Don’t…” She said, her back hitting the seat as her breathing came out short. She was expecting the worst, and there was only one person missing in that car that mattered to her. “Don’t say it.”

“Chaerin, I’m sorry.” Jiyong said, and she shook her head again, her right hand hitting the door. “Taemin… didn’t make it.”

And she lost it. Her eyes started to itch as the tears came down in torrents. Her heart was aching so much she thought it would stop beating due to the terrible pain she was feeling. Her hand continued hitting the door, her head hitting the backrest as she continued to shake her head no.

“He was badly injured saving Seungri. My Seungri. I am so sorry for that Chaerin. I was too slow, I couldn’t protect him. They got to him before we could.” Jiyong said, facing her as he uncomfortably moved to look at her. She continued to shake her head no, sobbing hard as Jonghyun caressed her arm.

By now, her breathing was coming out short, and she bend over, sobbing hard as her arms embraced her thorax, trying to keep everything in place. If she didn’t hold hard enough, she felt her chest would be ripped open, and her heart would fall out of it. She sobbed, shaking her head no as she pictured her youngest cousin being murdered by the hands of her own family. What kind of cruel family was that?

Taemin, a man that was as loyal, as cunning, as lovable as him being murdered. It seemed like it was someone else, like it wasn’t her cousin the one they were talking about. Her cousin, a man that came to trust the enemy just for her, a man that threw his loyalties aside only because she begged him to. And he obliged to every desire of her heart.

Taemin, her youngest cousin, the baby boy of the family. Her baby boy, her forever baby boy, killed under the hands of his own father. What cruel world was she living in, when everyone she loved was slowly being pushed away by her own name.

And what’s worst, it was her own fault.

“IT’S MY FAULT! IT’S MY FAULT! IT’S MY FAULT!” She screamed as she continued to punch everything in her grasp, even Jonghyun. He tried to hold her, but she had lost it once again. Jiyong was frozen in spot as he looked at her, balling her eyes out as she mourned the death of her baby cousin.

“Chaerin…” Jonghyun tried to calm her as he embraced her fully, and still, Jiyong couldn’t move. She wanted to be held by him, with all her heart, she wanted to feel Jiyong’s embrace protecting her as she tried to keep her chest in one piece, but he didn’t moved. She looked up, his eyes were dark, his face blank as he looked at her. He was out of it, he wasn’t himself, and instead, she found the eyes of the monster that killed, that tortured and murdered without mercy.

“Why?” She cried, looking at him, pleading him to touch her, but that monster was out, he wasn’t himself anymore. And now, Jonghyun’s words kept echoing in her head over and over again.

Chaerin, he was already a monster. Kwon Younghwan made that monster, you just calmed the beast while you were there. That man, that’s the Kwon Jiyong we all know. He hasn’t changed, you haven’t changed him. That’s who he is.

“Why is this happening?” She begged again, but still, there was no word coming out of Jiyong’s voice. Only his dark stare, ripping its way into her soul. And she feared him once more. She feared who he was, who he really was. He wasn’t being loving, he wasn’t being thoughtful, he was just there, looking at her as she felt her world once again crumpling beneath her feet.

“Jiyong, where to?” Youngbae spoke, and that made the monster look back to the front, where she could no longer see those hurtful eyes of his.

“Somewhere safe.” Jiyong said, his voice cold. “Somewhere they can’t get her.”

By night, after driving all day, all of them were already sitting in the living room of Jiyong’s private penthouse at the coast of Busan. He had accommodated Chaerin at his room, she was exhausted, and her body couldn’t resist anything more.

She had gone crazy, and to his own curse, he was frozen in place. Seeing her suffer like that brought him a new kind of anger, of pain, of fear. She was losing her sanity, and he was losing her. His fear turned to anger, and the moment she opened to scream it was her fault, he felt the world needed to burn because she was in pain. Because she was being hurt and stepped on.

She was too precious to be suffering like that, and it made him powerless not being able to take that pain away. He had wanted to be the one to console her, to hug her, to soothe her and whisper encouraging words to her ear, like Jonghyun did, but he couldn’t. His anger paralyzed him, make him unable to even muster one word. He had never seen her like that, and he never wanted to see her like that, ever again.

“We are doing all we can to take Misook and Kikwang out, but it’s heavily guarded. I don’t know how to get in.” Daesung said, typing on his laptop.

“I know you’re doing everything in your power.” Jiyong said, walking towards Youngbae. He was close to the window, hugging himself as he looked out, lost in thought. Jiyong held his shoulder, and Youngbae slightly jumped, looking at him with alert eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Youngbae said, his hands falling on both of his sides. Jiyong shook his head and went to sit on the chair close to the window, where Youngbae was standing.

“Are you alright?” Jiyong asked him, and he shrugged, crossing his arms and letting out a sigh.

“I guess I am.” Youngbae said. Jiyong nodded, looking down at his hands.

“He is your brother, after all.” Jiyong said, and Youngbae nodded, also looking down.

“He’s not dead, you know.” Youngbae said, and Jiyong nodded, letting out a sigh. “Why did you make her believe he was dead?”

“I didn’t.” Jiyong said, biting his lip. “I just told her he didn’t make it. I never thought she would understand he was dead.”

“You should have told her.” Youngbae said. Jiyong nodded. “She’s suffering because she believes her cousin is dead.”

“I know that!” Jiyong exclaimed, his voice getting a tone higher. “I know.” He said again, calming himself.

“Then why?”

“I couldn’t talk anymore.” Jiyong said, slowly moving his left hand. “Something about the way she screamed, the way she cried made me so angry. I can’t bear watching her like that.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?” Youngbae asked, and Jiyong nodded.

“Please, do. Explain to her that there’s a little possibility that Taemin might still be living, thought weak, he might still make it.”

“If she gets angry with you?” Youngbae asked, now moving to go towards the room where Chaerin was resting. Jiyong looked down, biting his lip again.

“If she gets angry with me, then I deserve it for being so weak regarding her.” Youngbae nodded, walking away from him. Jiyong slumped down on his chair, biting his finger as his left hand stayed unmoving on top of the armrest.

His heart ache as he remembered her litany, her constant reminder that it was her fault, that everything was her fault. But how much wrong could she get? She wasn’t the one who caused everything, but him. He was the one who dragged her into his world, then killed her father, then put her in a place where she’d rather commit suicide than face her demons.

And he declared a war in his sorrow. And when she came back, he pushed her away, hating her because she hurt him. But she still fought for him, she still came back. And when he finally had her, he couldn’t fully protect her, protect the ones she loved. He had made her escape her family only to be with him, he had taken so much from her, and she had willingly given everything. But what could he offer her? What could he give her but pain and sorrow? Loss and loneliness?

He was going to die soon, he could feel it, could taste the coppery taste of blood on his mouth as he felt his imminent death approaching. And what will he give her with that? More pain. He made her love him again, only to leave her alone in the end. Without nothing of him for her to remind him, but pain and sorrow.

He was causing her more bad than good. But he couldn’t fathom being away from her. Even if he was the one slowly breaking her world, until there was nothing, until there was nothing more to break. Only then, will he finally understand that he was slowly killing her.

Jiyong shook his head, biting harder on his finger as his mind kept torturing him. A loud cry made him sat up straight, and the next thing he knew, he was storming towards Chaerin.

The door was open, and she was hugging her knees, crying as Youngbae caressed her back. He took a step inside, and Youngbae looked at him, shrugging as he continued to caress Chaerin’s messy hair.

And the worst came. She looked up, glaring at him as she cleaned her tears. Jiyong froze, fearing her outcome as she stood up, hurrying towards him. She didn’t talked, she simply hit him. One, two, then countless times, she hit him with all her might, crying her heart out as she continued to vent her anger on him.

“You could have killed me Kwon Jiyong! I could have died of pain!” She screamed, punching his chest, every time a little less harder. “Don’t you know how much this hurts?! Don’t you know how much I love him?! Why would you make me believe he died?! Why wouldn’t you console me?! Why won’t you touch me?!” She continued firing questions after questions, hurting him even more because he couldn’t answer any of them.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered as she continued to hit him, panting hard. By this moment, the hallway was full of witnessing eyes, watching him become a mere puppet by the hands of the woman who drove him crazy, who ruled his life.

“You’re sorry?! YOU’RE SORRY?! DON’T YOU HAVE ANY FEELINGS?! DON’T YOU CARE FOR ME?! IT’S MY COUSIN! MY BROTHER! MY BABY BOY!”

“I didn’t know you would take it like that…” Jiyong muttered, forcing the words out as he feared her rage.

“You didn’t know? I’m sorry, you said you didn’t know? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK ONE WILL BELIEVE IF YOU TELL ME HE DIDN’T MAKE IT?! COME ON! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THIS!!” Her hits were now light touches on his chest, his arms and his face, and yet, he didn’t dared move one inch until she was done.

And she was definitely done as she slowly let her body fall on the floor, panting and crying. He looked at her as she put a hand over her face, sobbing as she sloppily wiped her tears.

And he finally moved. He slowly crouched in front of her, putting a hand carefully on her shoulder. “Is this everything this life has to offer me?” She sobbed. By now, both his hands where close to her neck, his fingers caressing her skin as she shook her head, crying. “Is this all there is to it? Loss?”

And he nodded. Jiyong nodded sincerely as he looked at her. “Yes.” He simply said. She shook her head, sniffing as she cleaned her face with the back of her hand.

“Then I don’t want it.” She said, still looking down. He crooked his head, his knees touching the floor as he got in level with her. “I don’t want it.”

“I think it’s a little bit too late for that.” Jiyong said. He saw Youngbae was slowly leaving, closing the door to give them some time alone. Chaerin shook her head, sniffing as she slowly lifted her little face to look at him.

And she was a mess. Her makeup was all smeared under her eyes, her face was wet with tears and even a bit of mucus. Her hair was all disheveled, tangled and frizzy. Her skin looked paler, and looking at her clearly, he noticed her cheekbones were making shadows on her hollow cheeks. A sign that she had lost too much weight. Her collar bone was pronounced, making a hole on her shoulders, and underneath her blouse, he saw that the gauze was completely red with blood.

“I want to get out.” She said, tears still falling from her eyes. Jiyong wanted to grant her wish, how much did he longed for her to be out of their sight. But it was impossible, and to dream about it was to slowly get killed.

“I can’t give you that.” He said, now caressing her mess of a face. “But I can give much more.”

“What, Kwon Jiyong. What can you give me?” She said. He smiled, caressing her face softly.

“Safety,” He said, his hand going down her neck. “Protection, stability.” He continued until his hand stopped for a brief moment on top of her bosom. “And even in this dark life, I can give you light.”

“H-How?” She said, her voice failing as she closed her eyes, her body shaking. He smiled, slightly triumphant he finally made her stop crying.

Now his hand was on her navel, slowly going down to her leg, then back up until it reached her cheek again.

“I can protect you, I can end this and protect you forever.” He said, his hand on the back of her neck, pulling her closer. “And maybe then, you can be free from this life.” He whispered, his nose touching the tip of hers. She shook her head, finally smiling. “And I can also give you a bath.” And she laughed, at last.

“I need one.” She said, her hand caressing his cheek as their foreheads touched.

“You need one.” He agreed. She shook her head, slapping his chest. “Are you better now?” She stopped smiling, and looked down, fidgeting with his shirt.

“Why does loving you feels like it’s so impossible?” She said. He stopped smiling too, caressing the back of her neck. He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent completely. It drove him to the edge of insanity, but he had to control himself. He had to keep composure because now, she needed him. Now, she needed him coherent, she needed him to console her, and that’s what he was focused in doing.

“It will be hard, to love me.” He said. “I once told you loving me was risking it all.” He said, the memories still fresh on his mind.

“I think I love you, Kwon Jiyong.”

“Don’t joke with me, please.”

“I am not joking with you, I love you, for real. That’s why I’m so scared. Not of you, but of losing you. I can’t lose anymore, I can’t.”

“You won’t lose me, but I’ve got to warn you, loving me is risking it all.”

“I have nothing else to lose.”

“It means being in constant danger, and if anyone finds out we’re together, it will mean people will want you dead. Are you willing to accept that? I can leave one day and never come back, can you endure it?”

“I would never agree with that, but I can’t agree with being away from you either.”

“Don’t ever leave my side, ever.”

“Never.”

“And I am sorry,” He said, now playing with her hair. “I am sorry it has become this hard.”

“Don’t be sorry.” She muttered, pecking his lips softly. “Because loving you, even with all of this , has been the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.”

Gily's Notes: HURRAY FOR SKYDRAGON!

Ok, please hop on the Feel's Boat, because we are sailing soon.

Happy Reading ~

Gily ♥