“What I want you tell me is that if Lee Chaerin was admitted at this hospital as of last night?” Jiyong said, his eyes staring at Jonghoon’s face. Jonghoon looked slightly nervous, but recovered himself quickly as he raised an eyebrow.

“Want me to tell you the truth?” Jonghoon said, and Jiyong quickly nodded.

“Please.”

“Lee Chaerin was admitted here three months ago, with an abdominal trauma caused by a knife that was still inside of her when she got here. The wound was deep, hurting her intestines and provoking a hemorrhage inside of her body. We couldn’t stop the internal bleeding, and her heart was failing, she lasted only two days in intensive care. Three months ago, Lee Chaerin died of an abdominal hemorrhage caused by herself. Jiyong, this is illegal, so I am confiding this information to you. Please, don’t make me regret this.” Jiyong’s lips trembled as he opened his mouth, then closed it.

“T-The knife…?”

“Your knife is kept by the Lee family.” Jonghoon said. Jiyong nodded, swallowing hard. “I know it, Jiyong. I know how much you loved her, and how much she loved you. If this helps, her last breath was your name.” Jiyong nodded, already trembling as he put a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” He said, his voice shaking as he went to sit down. Every hope of her being alive vanished with Jonghoon’s words. That was the final statement that clouded every possibility of whatever he might have seen the night before. She was dead, there was nothing that could change that. She was dead and he was alive, and unfortunately, unable to die. He sobbed as he hugged himself, letting his body fall on bed while the tears continued to fall from his eyes. He hadn’t noticed when Jonghoon left the room, but he was all alone, crying with himself, mourning the life that was lost because of him.

He continued to cry silently as his eyes were fixed on the window, still embracing himself on bed. He was going to be weak for as long as he was at that room. The moment he could step out, he was going to fight. No longer will he cry for her. She was dead and resting, and he needed to finish his deed. He was going to die in battle, as Jonghoon advised. He wasn’t going to back down after he declared the war, he wasn’t a coward. Kwon Jiyong was going to die in battle, and his hand wouldn’t tremble, he wouldn’t falter. Ride or die.

“Tell me something you’ve ever wanted but never managed to do.” Jonghyun muttered as he grabbed another bite from his breakfast. Chaerin took a deep breath, then let it all out, playing with her food.

“Sing.” She said. It was already eight in the morning, the place was starting to get crowded as people ordered their breakfasts. Chaerin looked around, smiling humorless as she saw couples enjoying a nice breakfast together, old couples, young couples, and even couples of friends and families.

“Sing?” Jonghyun said, and Chaerin looked back at him, smiling and nodding.

“Yes, sing.” She repeated. “That’s what got me into this mess, to begin with.”

“How come?” He asked and she shrugged, not losing her smile. Forced, it was, but she was used to it.

“I auditioned for his company without knowing what really happened there. And that’s where I first met him. I was supposed to sing, but then, somehow, I ended up being a lyricist, working side by side with him. Then everything happened.” She said. Jonghyun nodded, letting go of his fork.

“I’m sorry if I brought an uncomfortable topic.” He said, but she quickly shook her head.

“Nothing to be sorry about. It’s alright. It’s a truth I can’t change, no matter what.”

“I guess that’s part of living.” He said. She chuckled and nodded. “At least you’re living.” She stopped smiling, looking down at her food.

“What am I living for?” She said softly. She felt everything quiet down, as if time itself stopped to wonder about her question. What was she living for? Was there a purpose for her? Was there a reason why she needed to be alive?

“I don’t know how to answer to that.” Jonghyun said honestly. She nodded, slowly lifting her head to look at him. His face was deep in thought, as if he was searching for the right answer. She smiled and shrugged.

“I know.” She said.

“I guess you just have to find a purpose in your life.” He said. She chuckled and nodded.

“I don’t have a life anymore, Jonghyun.” She said. “From now on, everything I do will be under supervision. Every step I make will be someone else’s decision, not mine. Is that called living? Can there be a purpose at all?” She noticed how he lowered his face, and his smile faltered. She felt bad instantly, knowing she had hit a nerve. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He said, then lifted his face, another poker face. “After all, all you have said it’s true.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“You didn’t.” He said, yet, his poker face wasn’t fading, his coldness either. She looked down and nodded.

“I guess I will become what I hate the most, right? I have no choice but to accept it, right?”

“None of us have any choice, we just did what was told. We live under constant command. I am sorry you will have to become one of us.” He said. She nodded, biting her lower lip.

“I guess being your bride now will be the best outcome.” She muttered. Jonghyun chuckled, which made her looked up to him.

“That’s out of the table now, Chaerin.” He said. She raised an eyebrow at him. “There will be no wedding, the alliance will form anyways, your ‘death’ made that possible. That’s why I told you it was both brilliant and stupid.” She shook her head no as she continued to look at him.

“So I did saved lives, right?” She said and he nodded.

“The Kims and Lees are united. Unfortunately, you’re part of the alliance, but not as a bride, but as one of us. I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean, exactly?” She asked, to which Jonghyun let out a sigh.

“Taemin was going to tell you today, but I guess I just slipped some information.” He said. She frowned. “You’re going to be trained, Chaerin. You’re going to be one of us.”

“No.” She said, standing up abruptly. “No, they can’t force me. He can’t force me.” She said, her voice now louder. Jonghyun also stood up, walking towards her.

“Chaerin, we’re in public.”

“I don’t care! I won’t become one of you! I can’t!” The people were starting to get anxious by her outburst, some even leaving the place as she continued to pace around the table. Jonghyun tried to calm her, when one of the managers came closer. Jonghyun held her shoulders, and she glared at him.

“You must calm down now.” He hissed under his breath. Chaerin freed herself from his grasp and fixed her blouse. She looked to the side and saw the manager walking furiously towards them. She stood there, ready for whatever he was going to tell them, when Jonghyun cleared his throat and took out his wallet.

“Excuse me, is there a problem?” The manager said. Jonghyun quickly grabbed a few dollars from his wallet and threw them on the table.

“Honey, we’re leaving.” He said. Chaerin crooked her head at him, then looked at the manager. “I’m sorry manager, the food was good, but we have a family emergency. Sorry for the disturbance.” Jonghyun apologized. Chaerin scoffed and crossed her arms. As she did, she felt her wound hurting, she held in a gasp while Jonghyun signaled her to follow him.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Please feel free to come back anytime soon.” The manager grabbed the money and walked away.

“Are we leaving or not?” Jonghyun said. Chaerin let out a sigh and nodded, following him. Everybody on the place was looking at them, and Chaerin could tell a few females were zooning over Jonghyun. She rolled her eyes and fastened her pace, wanting to leave the place at once.

She walked out the café, and as if it was prepared, a strong wind blew, messing her hair and lifting her shirt. She tried to hold it before the gauzes showed, but it was too late. Jonghyun widened his eyes and quickly grabbed her arm, moving her closer to her while pulling her shirt down. The proximity of their bodies made her uncomfortable, and she quickly lowered her face, holding her blouse as she took a few steps back. “I’m sorry, we must go back, you didn’t told me you were bleeding.”

“I didn’t thought it was important.” She said. Jonghyun shook his head and went to his car, unlocking it.

“It must have been the run we did. I’m sorry.” He said. She shrugged, then frowned.

“I guess I must learn to endure pain.” She said with disdain. Jonghyun shook his head while rolling his eyes. He opened her door and she got in. He bend over, getting closer to her while half closing the door.

“We are also human, Chaerin. This isn’t so bad. Look at the bright side, you will be able to avenge your father.” He said in a whisper, the road was already crowded with passerby, so he had to keep a low profile.

“I’ve already avenged my father, Kim Jonghyun. And it’s by far my worst decision ever.” She said. Jonghyun nodded and closed the door, walking hastily towards the driver’s side. He got in, and without another word, started the engine and drove away. She didn’t wanted to talk, and apparently, neither did he.

After a few minutes, and thanks to Jonghyun fast driving, they arrived at the Lee Mansion. She looked to the side, already annoyed at the fact that she had to go back. “I’ll see you later, ok.” He said as she opened the door to get down.

“What, you’re not staying?” She asked, and he shook his head.

“I have a job to do.” He said. She widened her eyes slightly, then nodded in understanding.

“Then good luck, I guess.” She said. He smiled crookedly and nodded. “Don’t die, alright.”

“Don’t worry, I will see you later. Bye.” He said and she nodded, closing the door. He drove away fast, the gates opening and closing without any problems, which made her wonder, why weren’t they making any scandals? After all, she had been missing all morning.

She shook her head and walked into the mansion. She looked around and saw only a few maids cleaning the portraits and candelabras. Chaerin took off her jacket and held it between her arms as she walked towards the stairs. “Where have you been all morning?” She heard a voice calling. She looked back, finding Kikwang looking at her with arms crossed and a raised eyebrow.

“Out.” She simply answered, intending to ignore him as she continued to walk.

“Out? With who?” He said, clearly getting closer. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and stopped, slowly turning around to face him.

“With Kim Jonghyun.”

“Did you, now?” Kikwang said as he stopped besides her. “Don’t be careless, Lee Chaerin, we’re at war.”

“Well, I was with you ally eating breakfast. I guess I wasn’t being exactly careless.” She hissed. Kikwang nodded, moving his hand to fix a bang on her hair. She instinctively took a step back, and he lowered his hand, nodding.

“Alright, we have an important meeting in about an hour, you have to be there, so be there, alright?” He said. Chaerin scoffed, then remembered what Jonghyun told her.

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re one of the heirs, and because this meeting concerns you.” He said.

“I see, I’ll be there.” She said and walked towards her room without any other word.

She entered hastily and locked the door, trying to breathe properly as she felt the walls closing in. She held onto the vanity as tears fell down her face. If what Jonghyun said was true, she was going to become a murderer, and what was worst, she was certain she was going to be forced to kill Jiyong, again. And she knew she couldn’t be able to do it, and she would pay the price, just as he paid the price for not doing his job. That was the sick way Destiny was going to make her atone for her sins, that was the twisted way her life worked.

She was going to be force to play that game, and she was going to lose, no matter the outcome, she was going to lose. “But I’ve already lost.” He was already suffering, he was already a mess, vulnerable, ready to be killed, ready to die, because of her. And, because of her, there was a war, so it was more than acceptable that she took part of it. And I would gladly die by your hand, my love.