The wind was slowly entering the half opened window. The moon was softly lighting the room as the two of them rested on bed. Jiyong kept caressing Chaerin’s as she snore softly, his arm under her head, her arm around his waist. Her smell was intoxicating him, her body no longer glistening, yet he could still smell her essence in the room.

His body was shaking softly as he looked at her, an almost unbearable pain making its way through his limbs. Everything ache, and yet, he couldn’t find the strength to move away from her.

He felt her stretching, then she moved, her back now facing him as she embraced the pillow, the sheets slowly falling from her body, exposing her perfect figure. He shook his head, slowly covering her body as he stood up slowly, avoiding any unnecessary movement. As he reached his clothes, she coughed a little, and he froze, his pants on his hands as she moved again, curling her body into a fetal position. He continued to look at her, at her peaceful face.

She was in a better place. A place where no pain was numbing her, making her insane in front of him. Her face spoke of tranquility, of pure peace as she travelled dreamland, without him.

Jiyong shook his head again, chuckling as she mumbled incoherent words in her sleep. He quickly put on his pants, grabbing his jacket, searching something on its pockets. His body couldn’t take the cleanness anymore. No alcohol, nothing had gone into his system in more than 24 hours, too high on the adrenaline to even feel it. But now, his body was aching for the high, for the pressure, for the numbness.

He grabbed a little white bag and walked into the bathroom, slowly closing the door. His desperation made him forget to lock the door as he grabbed a little mirror, quickly spilling the white powder on it. His face turned into a frown as he started to make thin lines of it, already imagining the feel of the drug running into his system.

As he finished the perfect lines, he grabbed a thin straw and moved to inhale the powder. The way it reached into his nostrils burned him, but he longed for that burning, for that sensation of being in pain and high at the same time. But one line was not enough, so he went towards the second, and the third.

With deep breaths and scratching his nose, Jiyong fell back, chuckling slightly as the drug went into his system, making him feel that familiar sense of alert, of numbing, all united into a perfect high. The itchiness of his nose didn’t bothered him now, nor did the burning. He was at that place again, where all inhibitions, all fears were gone, replaced by that perfect high, that perfect adrenaline rush that made him stay awake and alert.

But as much as he was feeling like that, he couldn’t forget the person sleeping right next door, probably dreaming about how much she had been suffering. Probably having nightmares about him.

“Drugs, really?” He heard a voice at the door, and he lazily lifted his head, looking at the person who had perturbed his peace. Youngbae was there, resting his body against the door frame, glaring at him with his arms crossed. Jiyong scoffed, resting his head on the wall, looking at the ceiling as he swallowed.

“I’m dying here, man.” He mumbled. Youngbae scoffed, kneeling in front of him as he put a gun in front of Jiyong. Jiyong looked at it, his arms still on top of his knees as he looked at the golden curse in front of him.

“He’s alive.” Youngbae muttered, slowly sitting down in front of Jiyong. “And we’re picking him up.”

“It’s impossible.” Jiyong said, sniffing softly. “We can’t get in, and if we do, we won’t be able to get out.”

“Ji, he helped us.”

“But now, he’s as good as dead.” He said sternly. “Bae, we can’t, we just can’t risk it.”

“They’ll kill him. You know as well as I do that they’ll torture the truth out of him, and he won’t budge.” Youngbae tried to reason, but Jiyong just shook his head.

“No, I won’t risk us all for him. I won’t.”

“Jiyong, he’s my brother. He’s your girlfriend’s cousin and he helped us get into their cameras. We owe him that much. You owe her that much.” Jiyong looked at him, pondering for a while.

Yes, Taemin had risk a lot by helping them, and even more by using himself as bait for them to come out with Seungri alive. He had put his life on the line for them, he did owe him a lot. But things were different. He needed to think more on his crew, the men that always stood by him. He needed to think about the future for them, for her, and going there would be suicidal.

“They won’t hurt him, he’s a Lee.” Youngbae rolled his eyes, crooking his head with a raised eyebrow.

“My mother was almost killed by them, your girlfriend was almost locked by them. I don’t think Sooman cares at all about his family. Only the key the hold, and I’m pretty sure he must already have Taemin’s and Kikwang’s. Guess who he needs now?”

“Chaerin.” Jiyong mumbled, now looking at the sleeping figure of Chaerin. Fortunately, her body was still covered with the sheets, she hadn’t moved. And for what he could see, her face was contouring as her little hands balled into fists, whimpering and panting.

Jiyong frowned, slowly standing up and dragging his feet towards her. She was panting, sweating and flinching as she continued to hold onto the pillow. His hand went to her face, softly caressing her as she continued to pant. Her chest started to heave, irrationally breathing as she continued to hold onto the pillow as if her life depended on it.

“Chaerin, baby.” Jiyong whispered close to her ear, kissing her cheek softly. She panted again, and her eyes popped open. She sat up straight, sweating and panting as she held her head, the sheets falling from her chest.

“Ji…” She said, throwing her hair back as she continued to pant. Jiyong quickly grabbed her face, caressing her softly. She looked at him, her eyes watery, her lips quivering. “They were torturing him, cutting his fingers. He wanted it to stop, they didn’t stopped.” She said, breaking down in loud sobs. “I wanted them to stop.”

Jiyong held her head and pulled her towards his chest, caressing her hair, making soothing sounds. “It’s over, it was a nightmare.”

“They didn’t stopped.” She sobbed. He nodded, kissing her head. “They wouldn’t stop.”

“Ji.” Youngbae said, putting the gun on the vanity and going towards the door. “I’ll wait for you downstairs. We’re leaving in five.”

“Youngbae—“

“Going where?” Chaerin interrupted him. “Where are you going?”

“We have a lead on Taemin, and we are going after it.”

“I told you its suicide!” Jiyong yelled, standing up abruptly. He quickly traced his hands through his hair, throwing his hair back as he took deep breaths. “It’s stupid!”

“Saving my cousin it’s stupid?” Chaerin said, her voice accusing. Jiyong looked at her, softening his expression as he went again towards her, holding her hands as he could.

“Chae, babe, I know you want to have your cousin safe and sound. Hell, I want to save Taemin, but that lead, that lead could kill us all and expose you. I can’t risk that. Not now when my resources are limited.”

“It’s my baby cousin.” She pleaded. “I need to save him.”

“I know babe, but I can’t risk this. I can’t.”

“There’s a way, to go around. We just have to go there.” Youngbae said, and Jiyong glared at him, punching him countless times in his mind.

“No—“

“We can manage to sneak in, then we will kill our way out.”

“I said, no.”

“Jiyong!”

“ENOUGH!” Jiyong yelled, going to Youngbae. “I am the eldest, and you will listen to me, we are not going and this is final!”

“Jiyong!” Chaerin was the one to yell this time.

“When did this became a yelling contest?” Said Jiyong, exasperated. “We won’t go, period.”

“What if they kill him?! What if the torture him like you did to that man at the back alley that day? Or how you did to Hyunseung? Or to whoever you have tortured? What then?” She said, standing up with the sheets around her body. Jiyong stopped, looking at her with perplexity as he replayed her words in his mind.

“You knew?” He said. She stopped in her tracks, looking at him confused.

“What?”

“That I was the one who did that to Heechul at the back of the club. You knew?”

“That you punched me until you knocked me out? Yes, I knew.” She said. He looked at Youngbae, who simply shrugged.

“I didn’t punched you until you got knocked out. You almost killed me.” Jiyong said, feeling the need to clarify that fact.

“Whatever, don’t change the topic.” Said Chaerin. “Are we going in or not?”

“We?” Jiyong scoffed.

“Chaerin, if we go, we can’t take you.” Youngbae calmly said. Chaerin, however, simply let out a scoff and crossed her arms.

“It’s my cousin.”

“And that’s why we have to plan this out strategically. This can take weeks, months. We can’t risk being killed just like that.” Jiyong said.

“He may not have weeks!” Chaerin screamed. “He may not even have another day!”

“Chaerin!” Jiyong yelled, losing his limited patience. He abruptly went towards her. Chaerin was panting, glaring at him as he stood in front of her, putting his hands over her shoulders. “Stop.”

“Jiyong—“

“I said, stop. We can’t go tonight, neither tomorrow. We have to prepare. Seungri’s healing, we are all healing. !” He said, slightly shaking her. She lowered her face, her shoulders moving abruptly as she started to sob. And once again, he was disabled. Her arms were kept limply at her sides while she sobbed, her face down. Jiyong knew he should comfort her, should hold her and calm her, but he was disabled.

Her pain disabled him. Her suffering disabled him. And that angered him to unimaginable levels. It filled his inside with a boiling rage not being able to console her, to protect her. She continued to sob as he slowly let go of her. It was wrong, it was all levels of wrong, but he couldn’t do anything else. “Youngbae, go down and start our next moves. Be logic, be coherent. And please, don’t go over my word again.”

Youngbae was silent, and by the sounds of it, he left without any other word, and Jiyong was glad he did. He continued to look at Chaerin, his face expressionless as she slowly calmed herself. She looked at him, cleaning the remaining tears from her face as she took deep breaths. “I’m g-going to take a s-shower.” She said, and Jiyong nodded.

He looked at her as she closed the door, locking it. In his mind, Jiyong punched himself thousand times. Why did she disabled him like this? He was so weak, so vulnerable with her so close it frightened him. How much was he willing to let go for her to be okay? For her to be safe? For her to stop hurting? How much was he willing to sacrifice in order to make her life a little less terrible?

And the answer frightened him the most.

Everything.

Her mind wandered as the hot water ran down her body. She kept unmoving, sobbing silently as the stream of water washed her tears away. She cried, the pain almost too unbearable. He had done it again. He had let her to wallow in her own pain. Had even stop touching her, but his face, his face gave her all sorts of new pains.

He looked at her as he looked at his victims. His face was emotionless, his eyes blank, deep, hollow. He had showed no emotion as she poured her heart in front of him. Has he lost all sorts of feelings? Was he really that monster everyone spoke about?

There was no answer to any of her questions. If there was one thing Chaerin wouldn’t admit was the fact that Jiyong was and would always be a merciless monster. But she loved him. Even if she feared him, she loved him.

And the hours went by, and still, she couldn’t find the strength to come out of that little space that became her den of peace. The water was now cold, almost stinging her skin, but she kept unmoving, letting it fall on her body, soothing her soul. It felt good, the pain on her cold skin made her feel better, lighter, weightless.

And for a brief moment, she thought of letting it all go. She could simply give in to her family, give in to her uncle’s commands. She could go back, marry Jonghyun and become a soldier for the Lee family. It would be too easy. Then, she could force an accident, and let her be killed. Anything but that pain.

It was too easy.

“Chaerin?” She jumped, her eyes blinking rapidly as she was brought back to reality. She had missed the soft knocks, and now, Jiyong’s worried voice was the only thing that brought her back. “Are you alright?”

“Y-Yes.” She said, throwing her wet hair back. “I’m fine.” She heard him hesitating, then, a loud thump was heard on the door, making her frown. She saw the shadows under the gap of the door become bulkier, and she realized he had sat down in front of the door.

“I’m sorry.” He said softly, but she could still listened to him. She let the water run, thought now she was a little farther away from the stream. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. You deserve better than this. I’m sorry.

If there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know.” Jiyong said, almost pleading, his voice soft, yet loud enough for her to hear.

“I wish I could do more, but please understand that the lives of my mates are in my hands, and I can’t risk them. They’ve stand with me on my worst, on my best, and in every step I’ve taken, I can’t take their lives for granted. So please, understand when I tell you that I can’t go now and rescue your cousin.

Taemin’s smart, Chaerin. And he’s strong. I know the Dragons will do anything in their power to kill him, but Sooman’s human, and he’s a father. He won’t let anything happen to his only son. I am certain.”

“H-How can you be so sure?” She found her voice, now standing next to the door, one hand slightly touching it, considering if she should face him or not. “He’s a monster, you don’t know him. If Taemin became an obstacle for him, he will not hesitated.”

“Trust me, I should know better.” Jiyong chuckled, but she could tell he had no emotion on his voice. “I’ve lived with a monster my whole life. And if my own father wouldn’t let anything happen to me, I’m sure Sooman wouldn’t either.”

“Jiyong…” She started saying, biting her lips as her emotions were once again taking the best of her. She took deep breaths, and when she heard him standing up, she slowly opened the door, looking down at his bare feet. He took a step inside, and she could feel the struggle he was going through as he tried to touch her. “I am scared.”

“It would be foolish if you weren’t.” He said, his voice low. He finally lifted his hand, touching her face softly. “But I will promise you nothing will happen to you if I’m alive. And if I die, I promise you Youngbae will take care of you.”

“Why does it sounds like you won’t be around long?” She said. He cupped her face in both his hands, slowly making her look at him. He was smiling, his eyes full of love as he caressed her cheeks. Once again, the monster was long gone, replaced by a loving man. This was the person she loved, the person she always wanted to see.

But that smile, that soft smile made her afraid. It was as if he was complacent, as if he knew something she didn’t. “Jiyong?”

“I will protect you, Chaerin. Always.” Jiyong said, lowering her face towards hers. “I don’t care what happens, I will always protect you.” Chaerin wanted to tell him no, that he shouldn’t tell her any of those things, but he had already closed the gap between their mouths, kissing her hungrily, as if it was the last kiss ever.

And she kissed him back as hungrily. Because there was nothing more she wanted than to kiss him forever. His lips were her addiction, his soft smell of cigarettes and cologne drove her to the edge of insanity. All she could do for the rest of her life was to kiss him, to love him, to touch him, smell him, do whatever it took to preserve that godly smell in her. If smells could be tattooed, she could tattoo his through all her body.

And as the kiss deepened, he lifted her from the floor, caressing her back as he slowly walked to the bed. Jiyong slowly put her down, his body on top of hers as she caressed his back. He pulled away from her lips to look at her, his eyes small with lust, his mouth parted as he panted. “I have to go.” He said softly.

Her hand stopped on top of his gun, and it was now that she realized he was fully dressed, boots on, black shirt and a pair of jeans. Chaerin crooked her head as he lifted his body a little bit more, caressing her face. “Go where?” she whispered, afraid of the answer. He smiled again, pecking her lips softly.

“I got a job to do.” Said Jiyong, now his thumb caressing her cheeks. “But I will come back, I swear.”

“I want to go with you.” Chaerin said, lifting her weight on her elbows. He chuckled, sitting up.

“Obviously not.” He said, now standing up to grab a leathered jacket on top of a chair.

“Why not? I know how to pull a trigger, I know how to shoot.”

“It’s not about knowing how to pull a trigger, job’s not always about killing.”

“I can be useful.” Chaerin pleaded, but Jiyong was deliberately ignoring her as he put his jacket on.

“You’d be more useful here, safe.” Jiyong said as he walked towards the vanity, rummaging through some drawer.

“Jiyong—”

“I can’t concentrate knowing you’re in danger. So don’t even plead, Chaerin, you look pathetic.” He said, his voice stern, emotionless. She held in a breath as his words sank in. And they hurt.

He finally found what he was looking for, a little, black mark with a dragon on it. It sent shivers through her spine seeing it so close, knowing the owner of it. Jiyong looked at her, and there it was, the monster she feared the most. “You can do whatever you please, as long as you don’t get out of this apartment. Don’t use your phone, or any phone. Don’t answer calls, and most importantly, do not open the front door, no matter who it is.”

“So basically, I am a prisoner.” Chaerin said, hurt by his attitude. Jiyong frowned, looking at her with slight anger in his eyes.

“No, you’re my protégé. You’re the only important thing to me, and if anything happens to you again, I will raise Hell, I swear. So please, just stay.” She kept looking at him, his face serious as he said that. Jiyong finally nodded, walking out without any other word.

But there was no words needed, she knew what he wanted, and what he didn’t. And she knew that if she disappeared on him, he would raise Hell. She had seen with her own eyes, have been a witness to his madness, and raising hell was the least he could do. 

Gily's Notes: Some sort of a filler... I am not that inspired lately... 

And I'll tell you why...

Another story has perturbed my peace, my sleep and my well-being. LOL!

It had been bothering me for a while, and I don't think it'll make AFF, but I had to write it. 

I am NOT ending this soon (or am I?) or forgetting about TOD.

Please don't stop comenting, last chapter apparently was lame because I didn't received many comments as I hoped for.

Please, be nice with your author unnie (or dongsaeng) and leave some nice comments. They seriously help me get inspired. Some of you even start taking out little pieces that make me transform an idea into something concrete. Yes, you guys help me that much, because I am the kind of author that just spills everything in mind into little details here and there, if I get inspired enough, I might use them in the futuro, if no, pues no se usan (that's spanish right there)

COMENTEN POR FAVOR!!! 

Happy Reading ~

Gily♥