JIYONG 

 

"I should have known it better when you asked me to research about her. I know you'd end up liking her," Hyun told me, giving me his signature smirk that my sister fell for.

 

I told him about what's bothering me. Even when he's my secretary, he's one of those people who actually serious enough to talk with me despite my unusual behavior. He's one of those who actually knew me before everything fell apart and I ended up being the president even if I opposed to it.

 

I just shrugged and drank again. This drinking doesn't do me a favor at all. It only makes me think about her more. She's a drunkard. 

 

Jessica Jung, what have you done to me?

 

"Jiyong-ah, what are you gonna do? At least she needs to know."

 

"No. She doesn't need to know."

 

"Why? Tell her. There's no harm."

 

"Damn you. Of course there is. I just don't want to look like a loser just because she already got her lover back and I didn't because I fell for her. No way. Knowing that peasant, she won't get it. Her brain is as size as a pea. She won't understand."

 

Hyun laughed. But it's good this way. I feel a bit okay because I finally told someone about what I am feeling and how down I am.

 

"What if she also likes you despite there's already Top with her again."

 

I shot him a cold glare. "Impossible. We barely knew each other. And she doesn't see me as a good stock."

 

"Don't you watch movies? Love is unpredictable."

 

"So you mean if I like her she also feels the same?"

 

"That's it. Take it from me this time, you won't regret anything. Tell her."

 

I smirked and shook my head. "Says the one who broke my little sister's heart. Mind you, you're not yet forgiven."

 

A simple laugh escape his lips and nodded. "Yeah, I might have broken your little sister's heart, but she's gained something good from it."

 

"What? You punk," I punched his arm. 

 

"Easy bro, that's not what I meant. Look now, she found someone who's right for her. Someone who she can rely on at times she needs company, one thing I couldn't able to do."

 

I partly agreed to what he said but I still can't help but think. "Are you really over her?"

 

He shook his head, and said truthfully, "No. I still have feelings for her."

 

"Then why did you choose to break up when you still love her? You knew you didn't have to. I'm her brother, I could still take part and not let the chairman hurt her."

 

He simply nodded, acknowledging my point. "You may be right but still, it was better off that way so she won't long for me. So she could focus on her dreams. I loved your sister, Jiyong-ah. It's true and I still do."

 

"Woah, tell me more. For a moment I thought you really got over her but looking at you right now, I was wrong. You haven't."

 

He just gave me a shrug. 

 

"Stupid," I mumbled. 

 

"Well, cheers for that. We both can't move on," he said, raising his glass. 

 

I raised mine as well and drank the last words I should have told her. The words I can't ever tell her.

 

I like you.

 

****

 

Minutes passed and we continued drinking but keeping it slow as not to get drunk. We started talking about different things and for awhile it was comfortable. It's been long not having someone to casually talk to just like this. 

 

Somehow I find myself all right about being broken. It's just knock some senses and make me realize how dumb I was. Then he brought that topic up. 

 

"Jiyong-ah, you remembered her again. Didn't you?" he said, meaning the incident few days ago.

 

I gazed at him, feeling the familiar lump in my throat as it hit me to wake up. 

 

"But you don't love her anymore, right?"

 

I straightened my posture, inhaling such amount of air to breathe. Thoughts of the past always make me stiff and I couldn't help but feel my conscience knocking on.

 

I thought for a moment as Hyun stared at me, waiting for me to say something. My eyes caught the thin hospital cloth around my wrist and I sighed, then look at him.

 

"I don't know."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Thinking about it again and again, I couldn't help but blame myself. Yeah, I knew it was not entirely my fault but remembering her undergoing such act just because of the mistakes I've done, I just feel hurt, like I feel her pain on that very day," I quickly shook it off when image of her flashes in my mind.

 

It was so drastic, so worth of my midnight nightmares for the past few weeks after that very day. The only one I blame is myself. She wouldn't do it if it wasn't for me, if it wasn't for my carelessness. If it wasn't for my old habit. Mostly, If I had been brave enough to fight for her.

 

"Do you think I still love her?"

 

"Honestly, I can't answer that. I do not know."

 

A bitter smile crept on to my face as I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, of course. I should know it by now, right?"

 

"Jiyong-ah," he called. 

 

"I don't even know why I can still like someone when I feel like being held back by my past. I don't understand myself either."

 

"I think you should rest now, Ji. We still have a meeting at 9 in the morning."

 

I kept that dang smile on my face as I continued while looking at the ice cubes melting in my glass of liquor. 

 

"Am I being greedy, Hyun-ah?"

 

"Jiyong-ah, no. You're not. Let's continue this some other time it's already late."

 

I nodded, too weak to argue but didn't stop talking. "I like Jessica but I want Ji Hee to still remember me like how I do every 17th of April."

 

Finally, Hyun held me by arm and made me stand up, sensing I'm about to spout nonsense sense. 

 

"Get up. I'm driving you home."

 

"It's okay. I'm okay. I'm not drunk, Hyun-ah. But tell me, am I greedy?"

 

I am drunk? Really? 

 

"You are not," he said, for a moment I thought he was answering the question inside mu head but no. "You just feel obligated," he said something but I couldn't understand and just started walking out of the place. 

 

I have a feeling I'd either feel happy or depressed tomorrow. Bet with me. It's both.

 

-

 

JESSICA 

 

"Four, five, six..."

 

"Yah, Jung Jessica, I'm hungry!" suddenly Tiffany came to the kitchen and went beside me. "Still baking cookies?"

 

I simply nodded and counted. As of now, I got 10 cookies and the toppings are still in the making. Hmm, I'm satisfied with the cookies.

 

"Can I have some?" Tiffany asked, giving me her puppy eyes. I shook my head. "Waeyo? Aish, really?"

 

"If you want to eat, wait for the others in the oven," I told her, sitting down and started doing the icing as well as some toppings. 

 

Hmm, satisfying my sweer tooth. I smiled at the thought then checked my phone. A dull pout formed by my lips as I scrolled through my inbox.

 

"Still nothing from him?"

 

I nodded. "I'm worried."

 

"Eish, lovesick. Seriously how could you like that guy? He's rude and arrogant. Note that he brings trouble to you. Remember he's the reason why you lost your job and why Top..."

 

"He's not the reason. It w